Disclaimer: X isn't mine. It's Clamp's.
Deep Inside of You By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 15 - You make me stronger everyday.
"Onegai." I heard him say.
I don't think he realizes that he just said that.
I then looked up to his face to find him staring aimlessly at the ceiling. "Why are you looking at the ceiling?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
Ache. A little electric shock ran through my heart. He was hiding something from me and didn't want me to know.
He finally let go as we touched forehead to forehead. "That's good. Please don't cry."
I sighed as I looked down to the floor. Then, I turned back to look out the window.
Strangely, I felt the urge to plaster my hands on the glass windowpane. You're holding me back.
It was only a window holding me back from jumping. That's how it always was. I used to be scared of it.
He was about to leave again when I started to say, "I used to be scared of looking at my reflection."
Sorata stopped walking as he stood there again behind me. I could feel his eyes watching me carefully.
"Why?" he asked dumbfounded. "You don't seem the type, Ojou-san."
"When I was little, I used to watch all the children outside playing. I couldn't go out because my mother was paranoid that I would be taken away. She loved me so much that I couldn't even take a step out of my house without her permission." I sighed as I pressed my hands on the window more. "I looked out the window as a way of finding life."
I glanced at him for a moment as he looked away from me.
"It rained when my mother died. It seemed that anything that was important to me, rain was sure to follow." I laughed a bit. "Isn't it funny?"
My lip trembled.
"I wandered for months and even ate trash, Sorata-san. I was used to being poor, but.it just wasn't the same. There was no kindness anymore from my mother to justify anything. None at all." My hands wanted to grab onto the glass as my face filled itself with tears. Pouring my heart out, I found myself quivering without knowing it. "I thought, 'What is the point to this?'"
I turned to look at him in the eye with my hands still on the glass. My eyes were filled with tears about to fall and my lip quivering.
Such weakness. I can't believe I'm so weak sometimes.
"Ms. Kaede found me when it was about to rain. I was covered in dirt, but I refused to cry and acknowledge defeat. I made a promise to my mother, but even that was wavering. I didn't want to eat anymore." I blinked and two tears fell slowly to the ground as if in slow motion. "This is the memory in the rain that I most remember, Sorata-san. That was a point in my life I wanted to erase. When Ms. Kaede told me that she would be sad if I died, I ate again. Why? Someone cared for me. That gave me enough strength to go on."
I smiled wistfully. "Then, there was you. You said I was beautiful. You said I was 'the one you had chosen'." I took a deep breath as my heart felt light and heavy at the same time. "And I was shocked inside. More shocked than I showed. I was thinking, 'This stranger would give their life for me. I don't understand him. He's strange and loud.'"
Sorata laughed as he put his hand in back of his head in embarrassment. I could see the patches of pink on his cheeks.
That. .is kind of adorable.
"And all through the time I spent with you. I now understand you." I let go of the glass and turned around completely to face him. "This will always be a memory for me."
I always feel comfortable in front of you Sorata. I feel like someone will always take care of me whenever I'm around you.
Deep inside of myself, I had always thought what was the point to my life if there was no way I could live it. I am entangled by responsibilities to the shrine, my heart is troubled, and I always think about what is the point to life. Over and over these things will never leave me. Yet, these worries and strengths become stronger everyday.
Outside, I refuse to show my weaknesses. I don't want anyone to take advantage of me. Inside, I am always thinking about becoming stronger.
Then, there's you. You will do anything to keep me happy even if you don't know what to do with yourself.
I found that so sweet, but I could never tell you. I could never say the countless times that your touch is warm and makes me feel wanted.
"You're stupid," I seriously said as I blinked at him.
This was the only way I can show you affection.
"What?" He put his head forward as he held a confused expression on his face. "Why?"
"You don't have to tell me you love me. I already know." I held his left cheek with my right hand as I leaned forward with my eyes closed to kiss him on the cheek.
When I let go of his cheek, I whispered, "You say that I give you a reason to live and protect. But didn't you know, Sorata-san? You make me stronger everyday."
He looked at me in shock as I walked down the hall. Then, he smiled.
I know I can't say it aloud to you. But I know you'll always understand me.
Another memory in the rain. But you gave me a happy one, Sorata.
A smile slightly found itself on my lips.
-- Author's note: We're slowly coming along. Sorry it took a long time to update. Wow, didn't do this for a month, but I was really really having trouble with the internet connection. In addition to that, I started 'you drive me crazy'. Why? After all these fanfics, I do something crazy like that: I needed a breather. I needed something happy. I needed something waffy. That and the fact that I must get the feel for Arashi. It's hard to characterize her and so I was very fascinated and wanted to take a while since Sorata and Arashi's relationship is different from the other people I wrote about so far. We as readers know the stories about Sora being taken away and Arashi going to the Ise Shrine. So, I wanted them to make a memory together.They have 'no future' and so this is it for them. ;_; * sniff, sniff * Then again, I made Arashi's a little bit lighter to be opposite from Sorata's 'sad' chapter. This one's also dedicated to you, Setsuna-san.
Deep Inside of You By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 15 - You make me stronger everyday.
"Onegai." I heard him say.
I don't think he realizes that he just said that.
I then looked up to his face to find him staring aimlessly at the ceiling. "Why are you looking at the ceiling?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing at all."
Ache. A little electric shock ran through my heart. He was hiding something from me and didn't want me to know.
He finally let go as we touched forehead to forehead. "That's good. Please don't cry."
I sighed as I looked down to the floor. Then, I turned back to look out the window.
Strangely, I felt the urge to plaster my hands on the glass windowpane. You're holding me back.
It was only a window holding me back from jumping. That's how it always was. I used to be scared of it.
He was about to leave again when I started to say, "I used to be scared of looking at my reflection."
Sorata stopped walking as he stood there again behind me. I could feel his eyes watching me carefully.
"Why?" he asked dumbfounded. "You don't seem the type, Ojou-san."
"When I was little, I used to watch all the children outside playing. I couldn't go out because my mother was paranoid that I would be taken away. She loved me so much that I couldn't even take a step out of my house without her permission." I sighed as I pressed my hands on the window more. "I looked out the window as a way of finding life."
I glanced at him for a moment as he looked away from me.
"It rained when my mother died. It seemed that anything that was important to me, rain was sure to follow." I laughed a bit. "Isn't it funny?"
My lip trembled.
"I wandered for months and even ate trash, Sorata-san. I was used to being poor, but.it just wasn't the same. There was no kindness anymore from my mother to justify anything. None at all." My hands wanted to grab onto the glass as my face filled itself with tears. Pouring my heart out, I found myself quivering without knowing it. "I thought, 'What is the point to this?'"
I turned to look at him in the eye with my hands still on the glass. My eyes were filled with tears about to fall and my lip quivering.
Such weakness. I can't believe I'm so weak sometimes.
"Ms. Kaede found me when it was about to rain. I was covered in dirt, but I refused to cry and acknowledge defeat. I made a promise to my mother, but even that was wavering. I didn't want to eat anymore." I blinked and two tears fell slowly to the ground as if in slow motion. "This is the memory in the rain that I most remember, Sorata-san. That was a point in my life I wanted to erase. When Ms. Kaede told me that she would be sad if I died, I ate again. Why? Someone cared for me. That gave me enough strength to go on."
I smiled wistfully. "Then, there was you. You said I was beautiful. You said I was 'the one you had chosen'." I took a deep breath as my heart felt light and heavy at the same time. "And I was shocked inside. More shocked than I showed. I was thinking, 'This stranger would give their life for me. I don't understand him. He's strange and loud.'"
Sorata laughed as he put his hand in back of his head in embarrassment. I could see the patches of pink on his cheeks.
That. .is kind of adorable.
"And all through the time I spent with you. I now understand you." I let go of the glass and turned around completely to face him. "This will always be a memory for me."
I always feel comfortable in front of you Sorata. I feel like someone will always take care of me whenever I'm around you.
Deep inside of myself, I had always thought what was the point to my life if there was no way I could live it. I am entangled by responsibilities to the shrine, my heart is troubled, and I always think about what is the point to life. Over and over these things will never leave me. Yet, these worries and strengths become stronger everyday.
Outside, I refuse to show my weaknesses. I don't want anyone to take advantage of me. Inside, I am always thinking about becoming stronger.
Then, there's you. You will do anything to keep me happy even if you don't know what to do with yourself.
I found that so sweet, but I could never tell you. I could never say the countless times that your touch is warm and makes me feel wanted.
"You're stupid," I seriously said as I blinked at him.
This was the only way I can show you affection.
"What?" He put his head forward as he held a confused expression on his face. "Why?"
"You don't have to tell me you love me. I already know." I held his left cheek with my right hand as I leaned forward with my eyes closed to kiss him on the cheek.
When I let go of his cheek, I whispered, "You say that I give you a reason to live and protect. But didn't you know, Sorata-san? You make me stronger everyday."
He looked at me in shock as I walked down the hall. Then, he smiled.
I know I can't say it aloud to you. But I know you'll always understand me.
Another memory in the rain. But you gave me a happy one, Sorata.
A smile slightly found itself on my lips.
-- Author's note: We're slowly coming along. Sorry it took a long time to update. Wow, didn't do this for a month, but I was really really having trouble with the internet connection. In addition to that, I started 'you drive me crazy'. Why? After all these fanfics, I do something crazy like that: I needed a breather. I needed something happy. I needed something waffy. That and the fact that I must get the feel for Arashi. It's hard to characterize her and so I was very fascinated and wanted to take a while since Sorata and Arashi's relationship is different from the other people I wrote about so far. We as readers know the stories about Sora being taken away and Arashi going to the Ise Shrine. So, I wanted them to make a memory together.They have 'no future' and so this is it for them. ;_; * sniff, sniff * Then again, I made Arashi's a little bit lighter to be opposite from Sorata's 'sad' chapter. This one's also dedicated to you, Setsuna-san.