A Not-So-Typical Insert Fic
...AKA: When Yaoi/Shounen-ai Authors Run Amok
By: Neko-chan
A/N: Let's just say that I was VERY bored when I came up with this idea. Anyway, Basic Storyline: I throw the yaoi/shounen-ai writers (and myself) that I contacted into the Yu-Gi-Oh! universe. Our Goal: To make our favorite characters pair up. The End Result: Chaos. Total and complete chaos. You have been warned. D
WARNING: Author-OOC-ness! SHOUNEN-AI! Something-you-shouldn't-read-while-drinking-and/or-eating-because-you-may-end-up-choking-to-death! Weirdness and oddness... (I am, after all, the writer of this demented piece of fiction! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha! D)
FYI: For all of you that didn't end up in this fic: 1) I probably don't know that you're a shounen-ai author. 2) I tried contacting you but you don't have your email address displayed on your account page. Or 3) I actually DID send you an email...but stupid, stupid AOL is being a baka and wouldn't allow it to go through. For all of these things, gomen nasai. *bows*
DISCLAIMER: Neko-chan does not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. That special honor goes to VERY rich Japanese business people in Japan. She also does not own the authors mentioned in her story...though she wishes that she could own some of their stories. *_* (Yes, Neko-chan is an idiot. DEAL WITH IT.)
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Chapter One
"HEY! QUIT SHOVIN' ME!!"
"YOU STOP SHOVING! _YOU_ STARTED IT!"
"DID NOT!"
"DID TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"URUSEI! Ne, you guuuuuuys...if you don't SHUT UP, they'll be able to hear us! And do you want that??" A shake of the head was her reply. The girl nodded back and then suddenly went crossed-eyed. "'Sides...there's barely enough room on this branch for all of us. Everyone is shoving each other and, if we're not careful, we'll all fall off." Returning her attention back to the window, Mystery tucked a strand of purple hair behind her ear.
Meanwhile, on another part of the branch...
"I'm boooo~oooored," Neko-chan grumbled to herself, twisting a strand of thigh-length red-orange hair around and around and around her index finger. She sighed and pouted, trying to untwist her finger. She couldn't. It was _stuck._
Mystery's yami and Takeru Yoshizuki's (Yami Phoenix) both sighed along with the fanfiction writer. They were bored, too--there had been nothing to torture and/or mock for the past several hours. And the two yamis weren't interested at all in what was happening through the bedroom window--Phoenix adored Malik and Yami Mystery loved only his hikari. So what was there to do?
Suddenly, Neko-chan's black cat ears perked up and a light went on in her eyes. "Hey, yamis, I have an evil idea. Wanna hear it?" she asked, grinning evilly and proudly displaying her pointed canines. (Besides Mystery, Neko-chan was the only one with cat-like fangs. Mystery was part vampire. Neko-chan, however, was a cat-girl.)
The two yamis nodded happily and all three huddled closer, whispering among themselves, darting amused glances at the others at random moments. Evil, mischief, and mayhem was in the air. Neko-chan and the two yamis were conspiring. Chaos was going to break out. Pure and utter chaos.
Pikachumaniac sighed and shifted on the branch. Her butt was going numb after sitting there for such a long time...and she didn't particularly like the Light and Darkness pairing. I mean, sure...it was cute and all...but why couldn't they be peeking through HONDA'S window? After all, Honda/Otogi was such an adorable yaoi pairing. Not Otogi/Honda, mind you. It had to be HONDA/Otogi. Otogi would make such an adorable uke... Pikachumaniac (from this point on, called PM) shifted again. ::Thought Bubble: I seriously wish we could go and check out Honda's house! I mean, once people on ff.net see what an adorable couple they make, there will be a TON more fanfiction written about them! I've already begun to brainwash Neko-chan...::
"HEY! I THOUGHT I HAD TOLD YOU TO STOP SHOVIN' ME!"
"YOU STARTED IT--AGAIN!"
"SHUT UP!" Mystery hissed and turned around, glaring at Takeru Yoshizuki and Sage of Zelda 64. "They're gonna HEAR us, and then where would we be?! Besides, aren't you supposed to be taping all of this, Sage? After all, Yami/Yuugi IS your favorite paaaaa~aaaaairing." She smiled sweetly and batted large purple eyes at Sage, pointing innocently to the brown-and-blue haired girl's video camera.
PM just sighed. 'When are we gonna get to the HONDA/Otogi??' she mused silently to herself. 'It's so adorable! How can anyone resist it?!' Her eyes sparkled happily and she giggled to herself. Sage blinked and started to edge away from PM, clasping her video camera to her chest protectively.
Meanwhile...
"All set?" Neko-chan whispered.
"Yup!" Phoenix said, grinning broadly. This was gonna be FUN.
"All set," Yami Mystery replied, returning Phoenix evil grin for evil grin. Slowly but surely, the three...odd...people began to edge ever-so-closer to Takeru. And Takeru didn't even notice--her whole entire focus was locked onto the window, hoping against hope that she would finally be able to see Yami and Yuugi kiss.
"AWWWWWWWW! LOOK!" Sage suddenly squealed, camera held to her eye. "THEY'RE ABOUT TO KISS RIGHT NOW! ISN'T THAT ADORABLE?!" PM blinked. Takeru edged away from Sage, a sweatdrop forming on the side of her head. And Mystery 'borrowed' Neko-chan's Frying Pan of Doom, bonking Sage on the head.
"Be quiet! They'll hear us!" she hissed.
Sage pouted but continued filming the yami and hikari pair. Yami smiled down at his little Light, brushing a blonde bang away from Yuugi's forehead. Yuugi's smile softened and he captured Yami's hand, placing a kiss on his yami's palm. The Pharaoh's eyes seemed to darken and he leaned down, capturing Yuugi's chin in two fingers. Their lips were centimeters away and then... The phone rang.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" all of the shounen-ai authors screamed at this new development. At the same decibel, they continued their wailing/lament: "THEY WERE SO CLOSE!"
And, of course, Yami heard them. Instead of answering the phone (where he would have learned of something important that will be mentioned in the second chapter...) like he was supposed to, he made his way towards the window, scowling angrily. "WHO'S THERE?!" he yelled as he shoved up the window pane.
All of the shounen-ai writers froze, hoping against hope that he wouldn't notice them. It would have worked out perfectly (it was night, after all, and the girls--and guy--were all hiding in a tree with its leaves to hide them) when, suddenly, disaster struck.
Remember how I was telling you about Neko-chan, Phoenix, and Yami Mystery? Well, all during this, they were edging closer and closer to Takeru...until they were sitting right next to her. Sharing a significant glance, they all *pushed* at Neko-chan's cue...shoving Takeru out of the tree and into the air...and all of this was happening while Yami was yelling his head off, glaring into the tree.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" she screamed and landed with a 'thud' on the ground fifteen feet below.
Finally spotting one of the 'perpetrators', Yami extended his hand, palm facing outward, and aimed for the girl on the ground--who was slowly sitting up and rubbing her head, muttering about 'stupid yamis named Phoenix and evil cat-girls who have had WAY too much sugar for their own good... And male yamis that she had no clue about, either...' Smirking slightly, Yami exclaimed, "MIND CRUSH!"
And the dark blast of energy sailed through the air and smacked into the naive author.
"Ummm... Hey, Phoenix, I think we killed your hikari," Neko-chan whispered while leaning out over her branch, looking at the unmoving girl below. She plucked an acorn off the tree and dropped it onto the girl's head, trying to see if it would get a reaction. Nope. It didn't. "Yup. I think we really knocked her off THIS time."
Phoenix shrugged. "Eh. She always teased me about my undying affection for Malik. Now she can't tease me anymore!" She cackled a bit and rubbed her hands together, smiling gleefully.
At this point of time, the different authors were reacting in various ways. PM was hugging onto the trunk with all her might, the 'Honda and Otogi wouldn't be able to do this! Honda and Otogi wouldn't be able to do this! Honda and Otogi wouldn't be able to do this!' litany running over and over in her mind. Mystery blinked, then glomped her yami, hoping that she wouldn't be next on Yami's 'attack' list. Yami Mystery just smiled and hugged Mystery back. And Sage kept on filming, not believing the luck that she was getting in this fic! A Yami/Yuugi ALMOST kiss scene and a kick-butt scene of Yami using his Shadow Realm powers! 'Hmmm... I wonder how much I could sell this on eBay?' she pondered to herself, still filming.
"I KNOW THAT YOU'RE OUT THERE! SHOW YOURSELVES!!" Yami continued yelling, hand still extended in his 'attack' position. And it was at about this time that Neko-chan finally noticed that _Yami_ was at the window, clad in an oversized dress shirt and black boxers. And she did what any other fangirl and/or shounen-ai authoress would do. She squealed.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAMI! I'M RIGHT--" and she was cut off by PM clamping her hand over Neko-chan's mouth. Neko-chan pouted, whimpered, pointed to Yami, then let her eyes go all sparkly.
PM rolled her eyes--the insane cat-girl could be completely and totally random sometimes...and often scared her. (She had, after all, lost count of how many times Neko-chan had threatened to use the Frying Pan of Doom on her whenever she complained about her story, "Fairydust." If the threat of being turned into a giant omlette...or was it poached eggs?...didn't scare you, then nothing ever would.)
While PM was distracted and lost in her reverie, Neko-chan took that time to...strike. Quickly darting forward, she put her pointed canines to good use and...bit PM on the hand.
PM screeched and jumped away from the cat-girl, clutching her hand. "I HAVE RABIES!!!" she wailed, bursting into tears.
Hearing this, Neko-chan pouted. "I don't have rabies... At least, I don't THINK I have rabies..."
And, of course, Yami could hear all of these going-ons and exchanges between the various fanfiction authors and/or yamis. "...who the hell are you?"
"WE," Sage began proudly, "are shounen-ai and yaoi authors."
"Oh. My. Ra."
A/N: End of chappie one! I hope everyone liked it so far! And--to everyone that I emailed, got a reply from, and KNOW that they're gonna be in this fic... You guys will be coming in chapter two. You have a different mission...in another part of town. (And yes, PM, you'll get your HONDA/Otogi. ;-p Still think that it should be OTOGI/Honda... *mutters*) I've also asked several people--the ones that AOL didn't let me email--if they wanted to be in the fic through various reviews in THEIR fics. (Hear that Yo Xi Wang?? If you want to be in it, please tell me your bio and personality in a review! Onegai??)
Anyway...read, review, and hope ya enjoyed chappie one! ^_~
~Neko-chan