Disclaimer: X is by Clamp.
Deep Inside of You
By Miyamoto Yui
Would I live today?
The boy with the awesome red eyes looked at the ceiling bitterly knowing today was another day of survival. Well, that's all he could do really.
Live from day to day, never knowing if the next day held a fight with death under the hand of his friend. Either way, he would be killed by a friend in body and/or spirit anyway.
Was everything that hopeless?
He then wondered about his mother's letter that stayed in his hands for the longest time. He didn't know whether he had want to put it away or cry on it.
But that wasn't all that was presented to him when he gotten that letter. Days ago, another video was presented to him as a gift that was supposed to go with the letter. That's why all that time he thought it was his aunt's writing until he realized it was his own mother's.
He then slowly laid himself on the bed. With a sigh, he patted the cold place where Subaru had been days ago. He wouldn't even let Sorata sit there when he came to comfort him later on.
Still holding onto the letter, he hugged it as he stared at the ceiling. Unable to stand it, he went to a video room that he was told he could use.
As the boy in his white pajamas sat in front of a vcr putting the video inside, he just sat there unable to move. His eyes just stared at the screen as if it were real.
Maybe he really was losing his mind…
He thought about how many times he had watched this…
…and still, it made him wonder…
if he would choose to live.
Chapter 22 – Never look back.
Hello again nephew.
* The woman on the screen with a lab coat laughed *
It may be silly to you, but I never really thought I would ever see you. Seeing as how time passed so quickly, I really thought that I would never be able to see this child that my sister had marveled about.
Well, even as I make this video, I still don't know you, Kamui-kun. I hope you don't mind me calling you that.
* It was then that a mass of photographs were arranged on a rug. *
It's so perfect. Take a look at this, Kamui-kun. You may never see this again.
Normally, people wouldn't want to tape things in the rain, but I will. This was one of your mother's favorite parts of the year.
Onee-san had such an odd fascination for fall and maple trees. I don't know why, but she never liked the sakura very much.
Then again, have you heard about the myth about people being buried under sakura trees and that's why they're pink when they're originally white?
* zooms in on maple tree *
Our family has had a not so good reputation with the sakura, that's why. The sakurazukamori and our family were competitors as a use for different parts of the Japanese government.
And, let's just say that they are very bitter towards us. But, it is the same with us towards them, so don't be too surprised.
Then again, since I'm going off topic, let's go back to the maple tree.
Onee-san loved the maple tree because the leaves looked like hands. * laughs * * picks up a leaf from a table near by * Onee-san you had a hand this big when you were three. She was so upset when she couldn't keep the leaf.
For as with all living things, they perish. I guess that was one childish thing she could never let go of, though she never tried to show it.
* camera pans around from that spot * * Many trees are seen as well as it being a backyard of some sort *
We used to play back here. I think most of our lives were spent here, Kamui-kun. When they told us who we were, what our family was…everything.
And for some reason unknown to me, Tohru Onee-san always held her hand out to that maple tree I showed you earlier. She cried on it, climbed it, laughed on it, and spent her life loving that tree.
I asked her once and she said, "I love this tree because it is my silent friend…and it is alive. And someday, it will outlive me also."
I looked at her and shook my head, but I knew it was true.
The next month, she left.
* goes into the house * * camera shows part rooms of a very traditional, yet spacious living quarters * Look at everything Kamui-kun. This is what our house was. But it will be gone when I leave from here. No one will take care of it.
And we are no longer safe here.
That's why I need you to keep this. You must know somewhat of where you came from.
I know your mother wouldn't tell you, so I'm telling you now.
She wanted to save you the pain as well as herself from telling you.
But you must know. Even a little.
Your grandfather always said, "You cannot know where you are going if you don't know where you came from."
All I know is that you were the blessed child that Onee-san had waited for. It is not only because you are the chosen one for the earth's future.
It is because you are human.
You are her happiness.
And she is my happiness…
So no matter what happens, I will always wish for her to be happy even if it causes her more pain.
Silence.
* has a quivering tone, so camera goes back to pictures * * explains all seven pictures *
* shows a baby being held by a smiling mother *
This was your mother when she was born. And this was when she held me when I was born.
* another picture is shown with two little girls laughing and pointing at the tree in back of them *
Here we are in front of that maple tree. Onee-san just started kindergarten and I wanted to be in the picture.
And then there's this one…
* goes on to explain somewhat of their childhood, though scarcely *
…but the last one is of you, Kamui. I kept this one because it was from the last letter I ever received from Tohru Onee-san.
* zooms in on a baby sitting up looking confused as he blinks while sneezing *
* zooms out to show the pattern of a pentagram *
I'm sorry to make this so short, but if someone were to ever find this, it would ruin us. Please excuse the brevity of this tape, but I hope you enjoyed it.
And please remember my nephew, if there was anything I learned from life, this is what I'll pass onto you, the deepest feelings I have inside…
No matter what path you choose, never look back.
You choose your own destiny and your own happiness.
Life is too short for regrets.
Thank you for watching Kamui-kun. And I wanted to say I love you before I even meet you…
…and if I never get to tell you while I was alive.
Remember, live with all you have!
* end of tape *
--
The red eyed nephew stared at the static on the television and pointed his head down to the ground not wanting to cry.
"Live with all you got," he repeated to himself.
Thank you Aunt Tokiko…
The door to the room opened and he turned his head to find Subaru had come back to him.
He nodded slowly not really knowing what to believe in anymore…
It was then that he stood slowly to face Subaru while thinking,
"I don't know what I will decide, but I will live."
I must…
--
Author's note: I didn't know what to do and this was I came up with it. ^^;;; I like Tokiko, but it was hard trying to keep this from moving from Tokiko's story to give a brief insight into Kamui's.
Deep Inside of You
By Miyamoto Yui
Would I live today?
The boy with the awesome red eyes looked at the ceiling bitterly knowing today was another day of survival. Well, that's all he could do really.
Live from day to day, never knowing if the next day held a fight with death under the hand of his friend. Either way, he would be killed by a friend in body and/or spirit anyway.
Was everything that hopeless?
He then wondered about his mother's letter that stayed in his hands for the longest time. He didn't know whether he had want to put it away or cry on it.
But that wasn't all that was presented to him when he gotten that letter. Days ago, another video was presented to him as a gift that was supposed to go with the letter. That's why all that time he thought it was his aunt's writing until he realized it was his own mother's.
He then slowly laid himself on the bed. With a sigh, he patted the cold place where Subaru had been days ago. He wouldn't even let Sorata sit there when he came to comfort him later on.
Still holding onto the letter, he hugged it as he stared at the ceiling. Unable to stand it, he went to a video room that he was told he could use.
As the boy in his white pajamas sat in front of a vcr putting the video inside, he just sat there unable to move. His eyes just stared at the screen as if it were real.
Maybe he really was losing his mind…
He thought about how many times he had watched this…
…and still, it made him wonder…
if he would choose to live.
Chapter 22 – Never look back.
Hello again nephew.
* The woman on the screen with a lab coat laughed *
It may be silly to you, but I never really thought I would ever see you. Seeing as how time passed so quickly, I really thought that I would never be able to see this child that my sister had marveled about.
Well, even as I make this video, I still don't know you, Kamui-kun. I hope you don't mind me calling you that.
* It was then that a mass of photographs were arranged on a rug. *
It's so perfect. Take a look at this, Kamui-kun. You may never see this again.
Normally, people wouldn't want to tape things in the rain, but I will. This was one of your mother's favorite parts of the year.
Onee-san had such an odd fascination for fall and maple trees. I don't know why, but she never liked the sakura very much.
Then again, have you heard about the myth about people being buried under sakura trees and that's why they're pink when they're originally white?
* zooms in on maple tree *
Our family has had a not so good reputation with the sakura, that's why. The sakurazukamori and our family were competitors as a use for different parts of the Japanese government.
And, let's just say that they are very bitter towards us. But, it is the same with us towards them, so don't be too surprised.
Then again, since I'm going off topic, let's go back to the maple tree.
Onee-san loved the maple tree because the leaves looked like hands. * laughs * * picks up a leaf from a table near by * Onee-san you had a hand this big when you were three. She was so upset when she couldn't keep the leaf.
For as with all living things, they perish. I guess that was one childish thing she could never let go of, though she never tried to show it.
* camera pans around from that spot * * Many trees are seen as well as it being a backyard of some sort *
We used to play back here. I think most of our lives were spent here, Kamui-kun. When they told us who we were, what our family was…everything.
And for some reason unknown to me, Tohru Onee-san always held her hand out to that maple tree I showed you earlier. She cried on it, climbed it, laughed on it, and spent her life loving that tree.
I asked her once and she said, "I love this tree because it is my silent friend…and it is alive. And someday, it will outlive me also."
I looked at her and shook my head, but I knew it was true.
The next month, she left.
* goes into the house * * camera shows part rooms of a very traditional, yet spacious living quarters * Look at everything Kamui-kun. This is what our house was. But it will be gone when I leave from here. No one will take care of it.
And we are no longer safe here.
That's why I need you to keep this. You must know somewhat of where you came from.
I know your mother wouldn't tell you, so I'm telling you now.
She wanted to save you the pain as well as herself from telling you.
But you must know. Even a little.
Your grandfather always said, "You cannot know where you are going if you don't know where you came from."
All I know is that you were the blessed child that Onee-san had waited for. It is not only because you are the chosen one for the earth's future.
It is because you are human.
You are her happiness.
And she is my happiness…
So no matter what happens, I will always wish for her to be happy even if it causes her more pain.
Silence.
* has a quivering tone, so camera goes back to pictures * * explains all seven pictures *
* shows a baby being held by a smiling mother *
This was your mother when she was born. And this was when she held me when I was born.
* another picture is shown with two little girls laughing and pointing at the tree in back of them *
Here we are in front of that maple tree. Onee-san just started kindergarten and I wanted to be in the picture.
And then there's this one…
* goes on to explain somewhat of their childhood, though scarcely *
…but the last one is of you, Kamui. I kept this one because it was from the last letter I ever received from Tohru Onee-san.
* zooms in on a baby sitting up looking confused as he blinks while sneezing *
* zooms out to show the pattern of a pentagram *
I'm sorry to make this so short, but if someone were to ever find this, it would ruin us. Please excuse the brevity of this tape, but I hope you enjoyed it.
And please remember my nephew, if there was anything I learned from life, this is what I'll pass onto you, the deepest feelings I have inside…
No matter what path you choose, never look back.
You choose your own destiny and your own happiness.
Life is too short for regrets.
Thank you for watching Kamui-kun. And I wanted to say I love you before I even meet you…
…and if I never get to tell you while I was alive.
Remember, live with all you have!
* end of tape *
--
The red eyed nephew stared at the static on the television and pointed his head down to the ground not wanting to cry.
"Live with all you got," he repeated to himself.
Thank you Aunt Tokiko…
The door to the room opened and he turned his head to find Subaru had come back to him.
He nodded slowly not really knowing what to believe in anymore…
It was then that he stood slowly to face Subaru while thinking,
"I don't know what I will decide, but I will live."
I must…
--
Author's note: I didn't know what to do and this was I came up with it. ^^;;; I like Tokiko, but it was hard trying to keep this from moving from Tokiko's story to give a brief insight into Kamui's.