Time for Me to Fly
Who ever said being the Queen of Tortall would make a girl happy?
The Queen of Tortall sat alone on her throne in the Great Throne Room. It was a marvelous throne, really. Cast in gold and silver, the chair was covered with ornate etchings and studded jewels of all kinds. She remembered very clearly the first time she sat upon it. It had been a grand day, her coronation as Queen. All her friends had been there, cheering her- except for George, of course.
Jon had at her side, pride and love shining in his eyes, warming her to her very soul. The Queen smiled at the memory. Such hopes, such dreams. Had she really been that young once? Looking at the chair to her right, her smile turned to a frown. The Kings throne. Slightly forward of hers and a bit higher, the throne sat empty. As usual. Briefly, she wondered where the King was.
I've been around for you
I've been up and down for you
But I just can't get any relief
She didn't care where he was, just that as he wasn't here. Off with some simpering courtier or hunting or gallivanting around the kingdom. Anywhere but with her. Anything but living up to his responsibilities.
I've swallowed my pride for you
I've lived and lied for you
But you still make me feel like a thief
You got me stealin' your love away
'Cause you never give it
The Queen shifted her weight, trying to find comfort under the heavy yards of material that made up her gown. A dress that cost more than many made in a lifetime, she knew. She would rather leave it off for a lighter, more sensible dress or even breeches, but had learned long ago that a Queen dressed to befit her station. The dress weighed on her heavily, adding to the strain she already carried. She wondered if it would all still be worth it if the King were there. There was a time in her life when that was all that mattered, when she would have done anything for him. Because he needed her. Needed her to be with him, to guide him, to love him. Now that no longer seemed to amuse him, or even keep his interest.
Peeling the years away
And we can't relive it
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it's time for me to fly
She'd given it all up. Everything. For him. And now, she wondered just what had happened. What happened to them? When had Jon become the King and not Jon? When had she started thinking of herself the Queen, and where was Alanna? She wondered when had she given up all the things that made her Alanna. Not all at once, she was sure. It had happened slowly. So slowly that one night she went to bed Alanna and woke up the Queen.
You said we'd work it out
You said that you had no doubt
That deep down we were really in love
Oh, she'd told him of her discontent. He knew how unhappy she was, and a first, he comforted her. Told her she just needed time to adjust, and she'd believed him. Told her that he loved her and that it would all work out. Now, four years later she had grown from a girl into a Queen, and learned more than she ever thought possible: about people and countries, about armadas, legions, and wars. Everything a King would know and more. Right now, however, the chief lesson on her mind was that she had not adjusted at all. And she was tired.
Oh, but I'm tired of holding on
To a feeling I know is gone
I do believe that I've had enough
I've had enough of the falseness
Of a worn out relation
Enough of the jealousy
And the interrelation
More than tired. She was fed up. With the King's callousness, of being ignored and most of all, fed up with letting other people run her life. Angry with herself and everyone around her. How could they let things turn out this way? How could she? Anger cascaded through her at the unfairness of it all. For all that they couldn't stand to be in the same room, the King and Queen still had responsibilities. More than that, the people needed their Queen. Clenching her jaw, Alanna cut off her thoughts. No. She could no longer let that excuse keep her here. She had been a good Queen, fair and just, but by no means was she the greatest. She did her people little good now a days, when the King did everything in his power to spite her, no matter how many people go hurt. Dimly, Alanna remembered that she always hated being useless.
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it's time for me to fly
Time for me to fly
Th Queen stood suddenly. It was time. Long past time. She had to go. Now. Right now, or she would never get away. The weight of the gown pulled at her, however, and she almost sat back down. Closing her eyes, she pooled her strength and left the Great Throne Room for the last time. Swiftly, the Queen moved towards her suites, waving servants away. She felt a great weight lift from her as she tore off the dress and threw it into the corner. Now that her course was set, joy and fear ran through her. Joy at the taste of freedom; fear at the thought of the unknown. She had not been left to her own thought in the last four years, much less on her own.
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that's just how it's got to be
She found four bags in the back of her closet, packed full and ready. She'd packed them three months ago in a panic, sure in the fact that this place was slowly eating her soul. Sanity had prevailed then, however, and she hadn't run. She did not unpack the bags, either. Just stored them away, laughing at her silliness. After all, where would she go? What would she do? Still, the Queen began pouring over maps and cleaning her old gear. She began to ride astride and to drill with weapons she hadn't even seen in years. All in privet, of course, because she wasn't going anywhere.
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it's time for me to fly
Oh, don't you know it's
Time for me to fly
She waited until dusk fell to saddle her mare. Stefan probably watched her but she knew that he would neither help nor hinder her. It would have meant his job either way. She packed quickly but carefully, going over the list of her supplies in her head. She had taken almost nothing that hadn't belonged to her four years before. Using her Gift to lull the guard at a smaller gate to sleep, she walked her mare to the city gates, trying to avoid suspicion. Mounting, she scanned the countryside and had to contain a shout of euphoria: Alanna was out there somewhere and, by the Goddess, she was going to find her.
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that's just how it's got to be
As full dark fell over the capital city of Corus, a lone hooded figure rode away from the palace. A single figure took notice of her departure. Smiling, the tall man released the messenger bird that had arrived just a few moments before.
It's time for me to fly.
Who ever said being the Queen of Tortall would make a girl happy?
The Queen of Tortall sat alone on her throne in the Great Throne Room. It was a marvelous throne, really. Cast in gold and silver, the chair was covered with ornate etchings and studded jewels of all kinds. She remembered very clearly the first time she sat upon it. It had been a grand day, her coronation as Queen. All her friends had been there, cheering her- except for George, of course.
Jon had at her side, pride and love shining in his eyes, warming her to her very soul. The Queen smiled at the memory. Such hopes, such dreams. Had she really been that young once? Looking at the chair to her right, her smile turned to a frown. The Kings throne. Slightly forward of hers and a bit higher, the throne sat empty. As usual. Briefly, she wondered where the King was.
I've been around for you
I've been up and down for you
But I just can't get any relief
She didn't care where he was, just that as he wasn't here. Off with some simpering courtier or hunting or gallivanting around the kingdom. Anywhere but with her. Anything but living up to his responsibilities.
I've swallowed my pride for you
I've lived and lied for you
But you still make me feel like a thief
You got me stealin' your love away
'Cause you never give it
The Queen shifted her weight, trying to find comfort under the heavy yards of material that made up her gown. A dress that cost more than many made in a lifetime, she knew. She would rather leave it off for a lighter, more sensible dress or even breeches, but had learned long ago that a Queen dressed to befit her station. The dress weighed on her heavily, adding to the strain she already carried. She wondered if it would all still be worth it if the King were there. There was a time in her life when that was all that mattered, when she would have done anything for him. Because he needed her. Needed her to be with him, to guide him, to love him. Now that no longer seemed to amuse him, or even keep his interest.
Peeling the years away
And we can't relive it
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it's time for me to fly
She'd given it all up. Everything. For him. And now, she wondered just what had happened. What happened to them? When had Jon become the King and not Jon? When had she started thinking of herself the Queen, and where was Alanna? She wondered when had she given up all the things that made her Alanna. Not all at once, she was sure. It had happened slowly. So slowly that one night she went to bed Alanna and woke up the Queen.
You said we'd work it out
You said that you had no doubt
That deep down we were really in love
Oh, she'd told him of her discontent. He knew how unhappy she was, and a first, he comforted her. Told her she just needed time to adjust, and she'd believed him. Told her that he loved her and that it would all work out. Now, four years later she had grown from a girl into a Queen, and learned more than she ever thought possible: about people and countries, about armadas, legions, and wars. Everything a King would know and more. Right now, however, the chief lesson on her mind was that she had not adjusted at all. And she was tired.
Oh, but I'm tired of holding on
To a feeling I know is gone
I do believe that I've had enough
I've had enough of the falseness
Of a worn out relation
Enough of the jealousy
And the interrelation
More than tired. She was fed up. With the King's callousness, of being ignored and most of all, fed up with letting other people run her life. Angry with herself and everyone around her. How could they let things turn out this way? How could she? Anger cascaded through her at the unfairness of it all. For all that they couldn't stand to be in the same room, the King and Queen still had responsibilities. More than that, the people needed their Queen. Clenching her jaw, Alanna cut off her thoughts. No. She could no longer let that excuse keep her here. She had been a good Queen, fair and just, but by no means was she the greatest. She did her people little good now a days, when the King did everything in his power to spite her, no matter how many people go hurt. Dimly, Alanna remembered that she always hated being useless.
I make you laugh
And you make me cry
I believe it's time for me to fly
Time for me to fly
Th Queen stood suddenly. It was time. Long past time. She had to go. Now. Right now, or she would never get away. The weight of the gown pulled at her, however, and she almost sat back down. Closing her eyes, she pooled her strength and left the Great Throne Room for the last time. Swiftly, the Queen moved towards her suites, waving servants away. She felt a great weight lift from her as she tore off the dress and threw it into the corner. Now that her course was set, joy and fear ran through her. Joy at the taste of freedom; fear at the thought of the unknown. She had not been left to her own thought in the last four years, much less on her own.
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that's just how it's got to be
She found four bags in the back of her closet, packed full and ready. She'd packed them three months ago in a panic, sure in the fact that this place was slowly eating her soul. Sanity had prevailed then, however, and she hadn't run. She did not unpack the bags, either. Just stored them away, laughing at her silliness. After all, where would she go? What would she do? Still, the Queen began pouring over maps and cleaning her old gear. She began to ride astride and to drill with weapons she hadn't even seen in years. All in privet, of course, because she wasn't going anywhere.
I know it hurts to say goodbye
But it's time for me to fly
Oh, don't you know it's
Time for me to fly
She waited until dusk fell to saddle her mare. Stefan probably watched her but she knew that he would neither help nor hinder her. It would have meant his job either way. She packed quickly but carefully, going over the list of her supplies in her head. She had taken almost nothing that hadn't belonged to her four years before. Using her Gift to lull the guard at a smaller gate to sleep, she walked her mare to the city gates, trying to avoid suspicion. Mounting, she scanned the countryside and had to contain a shout of euphoria: Alanna was out there somewhere and, by the Goddess, she was going to find her.
Oh, I've got to set myself free
Time for me to fly
And that's just how it's got to be
As full dark fell over the capital city of Corus, a lone hooded figure rode away from the palace. A single figure took notice of her departure. Smiling, the tall man released the messenger bird that had arrived just a few moments before.
It's time for me to fly.