CHAPTER 5 EIN HAS A PAST?
So, Ein, what was your life like before you met the guys on the Bebop? Ed asked. She was lying on the bed of what amounted to the guest room' on the Bebop.
Just a sec, he requested, smoothing a clump of matted fur between his toes. Hmm. Before I met Spike and Jetwell, I lived in a laboratory. It was pretty boring. Oh, they fed me enough and treated me somewhat decently, but damn, the food was bland. Institution food, you know. Oh, and they would experiment on me and implant stuff in my brain.
Ed sat up, shocked. They—! To you?! Oh, poor Ein!
If he had shoulders, he would have shrugged. Well, I never had too much of a problem with it. I was always under anesthesia when they did it, so it didn't hurt or anything, and I think the only adverse side effects I had were some occasional really weird dreams.
Ed bit her lip and thought. What did they implant? Microchips, or straight data? she finally asked.
Ein shook his head. I have no idea. Like I said, they always put me under, and I couldn't exactly ask what was going on after it had happened. But bark bark bark bark
Oh, crap. The spell wore off, Ein muttered, and ran off to get Kane.
When Comprehend Languages had been recast, Ed sat down on the bunk and asked Ein to continue.
I'm pretty sure it was just information. But I don't know how they could have done it. I'm not a computer—you can't stick an Ethernet cable in my ear and transfer data through it. So I don't know the method they used.
Ed laced her fingers behind her head and flopped. What kind of information did they put in you?
He cocked his head. I really don't know. Whatever method they used, they put it in my head so that it's not where I can consciously access it. And even if I could, it's probably the type of thing that would be classified, and certain people would be less than pleased to have it leak out.
Phooey on that, Ed protested. We're not even in the Solar System anymore. And if it's classified information, why did the scientists let you go?
Well, it wasn't really a decision on their part, the dog explained. You see, I was kidnapped by some criminal. I don't know what plans he had for me, nor do I particularly want to. He tried to sell me a couple times, but then Spike and Jet caught up with him and took me in.
That was nice of them, Ed remarked.
Ein lay down on the floor and stretched his front legs out before him. if you're really that curious, I can make an attempt to figure out the information in my head. I'm assuming that the weird dreams I had relate to it somehow
Oh, don't bother. Not if it's too much trouble, she said.
No, I think I'm going to try anyway. After all, I want to know as much as you do—maybe more. He rested his head on his paws and closed his eyes. now, those dreams
I remember something about human-looking people, but with long pointy ears. They were supposed to be tougher than humans and could do special stuff most humans couldn't.
Ed sat up. Okay, that's interesting. If only there was something I could— Her face lit up. Of course! I'll go ask Kane if he can grant me psychic powers. Then I can go in your head and help you look!
Ein protested, a sweatdrop forming.
Oh, come on! What's the worst that could happen?
——————
You want me to what?!
I don't know. Cast a spell or something. I want to become telepathic so that I can help Ein search through his memories.
Hey, that's a good idea, Spike said. After that, she can help me.
Kane folded his arms and sighed. No, it's not usefulness that's the issue here. It's the fact that developing telepathic powers would require a lot of training and mental dedication.
Like, how much training? Ed asked.
Oh, we're talking months, at the shortest. More likely, years.
She gaped. I don't wanna wait that long! Are you sure there's nothing that would work faster?
He sighed again and rolled his eyes. Well, there's—oh, that wouldn't work.
A certain potion. I have the recipe written down somewhere, but I really don't want to dig it out, and besides, it probably wouldn't work.
Why not?
Well, II'm guessing you've probably never had any kind of potion before. If your body doesn't know what to expect, there's a chance that the potion would—I guess you could say, malfunction.
Meaning what, exactly?
He looked her in the eyes, exasperated. Possibly killing you! Do he asked, punctuating each syllable for emphasis.
She folded her arms and looked away. I bet I wouldn't.
Spike stood up and walked over to her. Sorry, Françoise, but I can really understand where Kane's coming from. Even if it's only a small chance that something goes wrong, there's still a chance. There's only one of you, and you're a good friend, one I don't want to lose. I think your best bet is to go the long route, as frustrating as that seems.
Oh, fuck that! she barked, and stormed out of the room.
——————
! Françoise!! Ein shouted. Did you not hear what Kane said!?
Oh, I heard, she said, not turning away from the keypad. She hit a few keys, saw her signature crazy-smilies appear on the screen, and the door to Kane's quarters slid open.
Canal appeared. Oh, Miss Françoise. That's Kane's room. You shouldn't—
Oh, it's okay. He gave me permission, she said, lying like a rug.
Well, all right. The hologram disappeared.
Ein protested. This is a really, really bad idea! What will you do if something does go wrong?
Well, nothing, she answered. I'll be dead, won't I?
he fumed, jumping up and down. There's just no convincing you, is there!?
I thought you wanted to find out what was in your head.
Not so much that I'd put my best friend in danger! Come on, Ed. You know this is immoral.
And hacking isn't? she asked, scanning the books in the bookshelf. she mused. They're in some weird language, but I can read it.
Yes, that's the spell. Oh, come on, Ed! I'll just dig through my memory the old-fashioned way.
This must be it, she said quietly, pulling a book from the shelf. She blew the dust from the cover, opened it, and skimmed the table of contents. Ah. I bet this is it—Potion of Pure Clairsentience.
Put it back, Ed. What if Kane comes in? We'll be kicked off the ship!
So let's hope he doesn't come in, she suggested, and began searching for ingredients. She found several nicely-stocked shelves inside a small cabinet that held much more than seemed possible. Okay. Graymold—here. Vivid herb—hmmmhere it is. Charcoal?! Oh, that's going to be tasty. Wait—a dose of Psionic Restoration Potion? Shit. I don't know where— She flipped through the pages and scanned. Oh, it seems easy enough to make. I'll just brew my own.
Ein yelled.
She looked down at him. People learn best from their mistakes.
Yes, but if you're dead, you won't be learning, will you!?
Oh, hush. I'm not going to die. Stop worrying. She looked back down at the list. Sandworm essence? Where the hell— She scanned the cabinet two or three times, then sighed in frustration.
Oh, well. I guess it's for the better, isn't it?
She reached into the cabinet and turned a jar whose label was facing away from her. The jar contained what looked like a well-preserved but still very unpleasant wormy thing. The label read 100% SHAI-HULUD. FRESH FROM ARRAKIS.
I think this is what I want! she said gleefully. All right! Now all I have to do is wash out some of this equipment
Ein could only watch, horrified, as she bustled about and prepared to brew potions. He had given up trying to convince her, and now could only hope that she would survive her experiment and become wiser.
It was actually a rather fascinating process—seeing clear liquid turn yellow-orangish just from a sprinkle of ground herbs, watching the tiny fire heat up the flask and send bubbling fluid through the twisty pipes attached to the top, and the not-unpleasant, faintly magical odour filling the room.
Within half an hour, Ed's final concoction was done. She held the flask and looked down at Ein.
Well, let's just hope this works. She tipped her head back and downed the potion. Placing the flask on the table, she remarked,Hm. Interesting taste. So I guess— Then she stiffened and fell to the floor.
Ah, SHIT!! Ein screamed. Damn it! I KNEW this was going to happen!! Whining, he licked at her face, hoping for some sign of life. He leaned his head on her chest and heard nothing—mainly because he couldn't wedge his head down far enough between her breasts. Damn it, Ed, don't die! Oh, your father would be so angry at you!!
Ed moaned softly, and Ein began licking her face again. Live, Ed! Please!
it's all becoming clear to me now.
What is?
Mmmm. Everything.
She sat up slowly and looked down at Ein. so concerned.
Well, of course! I was afraid—you—
She patted his head. There's no need to worry. I'm fine. In fact—I'm more than fine.
He looked up at her and cocked his head.
Ed stood up and stepped towards the alchemy table. Go to the Bebop. I'll meet you there when I've cleaned this up.