I can remember that day so clearly in my head no matter how hard I try to
force it out. The day both of our lives changed forever. The day my world
began to crumble at my feet.
It was a cool, crisp, autumn day. October, to be more exact. October 23. I remember because it was exactly one month before that Thanksgiving pageant that Emily was in at school. I remember the day she told you about it. We had stopped at you house about 2 hours into the shift cause Em had called the station house and you panicked and thought that something was wrong. And we entered you apartment and she had the biggest smile and was talking a mile a minute about having one of the biggest parts in the pageant and how you would make her costume and Fred would take her to rehearsal. She even asked me to come see her. And she was so excited, how could I say no? When we got back into the car, I remember that you said she was going to count on me being there and I swore I would be. I mean, then when she becomes a famous actress, I can say I knew Emily Yokas way back when she starred as 'Pilgrim Woman #3.' You just smiled at me with that cute little half-smirky blush thing that you do when I gush over your kids, and the day went on. And then a few days later, life became complicate.
Like I said, it was October and I was late for work…as usual. I was in such a hurry to get myself together that I didn't notice you in the locker room. I mean, I usually don't notice you cause I'm in such a rush, but that day I noticed that I didn't notice you. But, I figured I was just so late that you couldn't afford to wait for me to get ready. I closed my locker and ran into roll call with mere seconds to spare. Am I good or what? As I sat there listening to the endless drone of the 'high and mighty' Sgt. Christopher, I realized that you weren't sitting in you usual seat. As I looked around, I realized that you weren't sitting in any seat. You weren't here. I knew you didn't have the day off and I got a little worried. I mean, nothing slows you down. Davis must have noticed that I was looking for you because he shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't seen you either. Well, maybe you missed the subway, I thought. Or one of the kids was sick and you would be in late. Or maybe that asshole husband of yours got drunk again and left you to take care of the kids and clean up his mess as well. If he did that to you again, I swear…I let the threat hang as I realized we were dismissed. Christopher called me over to tell me that I was going to ride alone that day since you were MIA. I was signing out my radio when you came running in, out of breath. You looked a little pale too, now that I think about it. And tired. You looked like you hadn't slept in days. But I didn't really notice that then. I was just glad that you were seemingly ok and with me at work. I was signing out your radio as you went on to face the boss. A few minutes later, you met me in the hall and we were on our way.
You didn't speak much in the car. I wasn't sure if you were in a good mood or not, so I decided to test the waters. I talked at random for a while trying to read you, but it was no use. You just sat there leaning our head against the window, quiet as a mouse. The shift was very uneventful, making your silence even more deafening. I wanted to ask you so bad what was wrong, but something told me not to. And I don't know why, but for once I decided to listen to that little voice and wait for you to tell me what was wrong. I had the feeling it was going to be a very long shift.
A few hours into the shift, you finally broke the silence to ask if we could stop and get some coffee. I pulled over in front of that little café on 5th street that you seem to like so much, hoping it would cheer you up a bit. I turned off the engine and got out. You didn't budge. I waited a minute or so, figuring you needed some space. Finally, I walked over and opened you door to see what was going on. What I saw scared me to death.
Your skin was so pale it was almost pure white. Your head was in your hands and your eyes were closed tightly. I squatted down, laid a trembling hand on your knee and softly called your name. The words that exited your mouth as you spoke for only the second time during our shift froze my heart:
"Oh god Boz, it hurts so bad."
I began to panic.
"What hurts?" No response.
"Is it your head?" I guessed. A weak nod was my only reply.
"Want me to get you some asprin or something?" I asked.
I didn't know what else to do. You shook your head and asked me to just help you inside the café. Maybe if you went into the bathroom and splashed some cool water on your face it would help. Helps me sometimes.
Gently, I eased you out of the car and let you test your strength without me. I shouldn't have. You began to sway, and I instinctively reached out to steady you. Your eyes shut tightly again, and with my arms wrapped around your waist to hold you steady, your forehead came to a rest on my shoulder. I was very worried at this point. You needed to go home or to the hospital or something. I eased you to a standing position and before I had a chance to ask you what to do, your eyes locked with mine. In that brief moment that I held your gaze, I read so much pain that I thought my heart would break because you were suffering and I couldn't make it stop or go away. It killed me to see you like that. Then a sudden flash registered in those deep blue eyes calling out to me. You were both begging for my help and apologizing to me at the same time.
Then all to sudden for me to register, your eyes rolled back into your head and you began to collapse. I caught you and panic flooded my veins. "What the hell just happened?" "What's wrong?" "What should I do?" All these questions and more rushed through my head but the only thing that managed to escape my lips was the soft whisper of your name.
"Faith?"
Do you like? Should I continue? I beg of you, please review!
It was a cool, crisp, autumn day. October, to be more exact. October 23. I remember because it was exactly one month before that Thanksgiving pageant that Emily was in at school. I remember the day she told you about it. We had stopped at you house about 2 hours into the shift cause Em had called the station house and you panicked and thought that something was wrong. And we entered you apartment and she had the biggest smile and was talking a mile a minute about having one of the biggest parts in the pageant and how you would make her costume and Fred would take her to rehearsal. She even asked me to come see her. And she was so excited, how could I say no? When we got back into the car, I remember that you said she was going to count on me being there and I swore I would be. I mean, then when she becomes a famous actress, I can say I knew Emily Yokas way back when she starred as 'Pilgrim Woman #3.' You just smiled at me with that cute little half-smirky blush thing that you do when I gush over your kids, and the day went on. And then a few days later, life became complicate.
Like I said, it was October and I was late for work…as usual. I was in such a hurry to get myself together that I didn't notice you in the locker room. I mean, I usually don't notice you cause I'm in such a rush, but that day I noticed that I didn't notice you. But, I figured I was just so late that you couldn't afford to wait for me to get ready. I closed my locker and ran into roll call with mere seconds to spare. Am I good or what? As I sat there listening to the endless drone of the 'high and mighty' Sgt. Christopher, I realized that you weren't sitting in you usual seat. As I looked around, I realized that you weren't sitting in any seat. You weren't here. I knew you didn't have the day off and I got a little worried. I mean, nothing slows you down. Davis must have noticed that I was looking for you because he shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't seen you either. Well, maybe you missed the subway, I thought. Or one of the kids was sick and you would be in late. Or maybe that asshole husband of yours got drunk again and left you to take care of the kids and clean up his mess as well. If he did that to you again, I swear…I let the threat hang as I realized we were dismissed. Christopher called me over to tell me that I was going to ride alone that day since you were MIA. I was signing out my radio when you came running in, out of breath. You looked a little pale too, now that I think about it. And tired. You looked like you hadn't slept in days. But I didn't really notice that then. I was just glad that you were seemingly ok and with me at work. I was signing out your radio as you went on to face the boss. A few minutes later, you met me in the hall and we were on our way.
You didn't speak much in the car. I wasn't sure if you were in a good mood or not, so I decided to test the waters. I talked at random for a while trying to read you, but it was no use. You just sat there leaning our head against the window, quiet as a mouse. The shift was very uneventful, making your silence even more deafening. I wanted to ask you so bad what was wrong, but something told me not to. And I don't know why, but for once I decided to listen to that little voice and wait for you to tell me what was wrong. I had the feeling it was going to be a very long shift.
A few hours into the shift, you finally broke the silence to ask if we could stop and get some coffee. I pulled over in front of that little café on 5th street that you seem to like so much, hoping it would cheer you up a bit. I turned off the engine and got out. You didn't budge. I waited a minute or so, figuring you needed some space. Finally, I walked over and opened you door to see what was going on. What I saw scared me to death.
Your skin was so pale it was almost pure white. Your head was in your hands and your eyes were closed tightly. I squatted down, laid a trembling hand on your knee and softly called your name. The words that exited your mouth as you spoke for only the second time during our shift froze my heart:
"Oh god Boz, it hurts so bad."
I began to panic.
"What hurts?" No response.
"Is it your head?" I guessed. A weak nod was my only reply.
"Want me to get you some asprin or something?" I asked.
I didn't know what else to do. You shook your head and asked me to just help you inside the café. Maybe if you went into the bathroom and splashed some cool water on your face it would help. Helps me sometimes.
Gently, I eased you out of the car and let you test your strength without me. I shouldn't have. You began to sway, and I instinctively reached out to steady you. Your eyes shut tightly again, and with my arms wrapped around your waist to hold you steady, your forehead came to a rest on my shoulder. I was very worried at this point. You needed to go home or to the hospital or something. I eased you to a standing position and before I had a chance to ask you what to do, your eyes locked with mine. In that brief moment that I held your gaze, I read so much pain that I thought my heart would break because you were suffering and I couldn't make it stop or go away. It killed me to see you like that. Then a sudden flash registered in those deep blue eyes calling out to me. You were both begging for my help and apologizing to me at the same time.
Then all to sudden for me to register, your eyes rolled back into your head and you began to collapse. I caught you and panic flooded my veins. "What the hell just happened?" "What's wrong?" "What should I do?" All these questions and more rushed through my head but the only thing that managed to escape my lips was the soft whisper of your name.
"Faith?"
Do you like? Should I continue? I beg of you, please review!