Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
The woman looked out the window from her beach house - the waves
hit the shore a little down the beach. Her hair was shoulder length
and blond, her eyes were blue - blue and sad. The friends played
volleyball by the net just bellow the window. She smiled at the
warm feeling these people left her with.
They had asked her to participate, but she had declined. Spoon
looked her way and smiled with all of his face, just to be thrown
to the ground by Burner who smiled with an even greater smile.
They tried their best to make her happy, and by her mood they
had to make some thing extraordinary to make her even bluer than
she already where.
The door opened and closed, the sound of a man walking came closer.
"Ciao babe, you in here? I though you were out with the guy
somewhere" Capone said surprised when he entered the living room.
"Yeah, I wasn't feeling well.." he looked at her with
concern in his eyes.
"Still feels pretty unreal, hu?" Ice just nodded, she
didn't know what to say - the last week had been so unreal for
her. ...Pa, are you looking down at me from above now?...
She made herself smile at Capone.
"I'm fine..." she started "It just... - ...I don't
know - strange - unreal..." Capone looked sad at her and
nodded.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
At first Ice just nodded but remembered he couldn't see her.
"Yeah, okej..." she answered weakly...
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
"I have a surprise for ya'!" Burner said to her after
dinner. He's smile widened as he saw her surprise.
"Hey - it's my surprise too!" Burners best friend and
walking shadow Spoon said looking with a playful angry at Burner.
"What? That Tarantino movie I like?"
"Nooo..."
"A 'Monopoly game'!" She laughed - not as fun as Scrabble
can be in the end when there are almost no letters left. But almost
as fun.
They played all evening, but after a while Burner and Capone
had to leave to go down to the Base and Spoon felt need for sleep.
Ice let the game lie on the living room table and turned to TV
on. It was an old Elvis movie on and she smiled. She liked them
for some reason, not that Elvis was a good actor but he still
was to consider as one of the world coolest and most good looking
guys.
The door bell rang, Ice found herself stretched out over the
sofa, the sun had just started to rise over the horizon. She cured
every man in the house for letting HER open the door. She would
never confess it loud but she felt very alone and teared - one
of them had a hard time - non of them had cried them self red eyed.
She opened the door not really caring who was at the other side,
she was quiet prepared to scream at Burner that one of his stripper
friends wanted to talk to him. To her surprise she found her brother
at the other side.
"What the hell are you doing here?" she almost screamed
out when she saw his face. She had missed him at the funeral last
Friday. Now he, who she had not spoken to for year stood in the
doorway looking at her. His face - that usually was blessed with
a broad smile - was sad.
"Can I come in sis'?" he asked with a shy and unsure
smile.
"Well, ehm, sure.." she said, uncertain what his means
with the visit were. Probably to tell her how much he disliked
her and to curse their father.
No one had said him to be a good father - but he certainly was
not as bad as her brother often said he was.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
"How is ma taking it? - How she holding together?"
he asked her as they sat down on the sofa in the living room.
"Good. I think." She shook her head a bit. ...he's
always been such a mama's boy... she thought.
"Did she ask about me?"
"No."
"Not even once"
"She said she wasn't surprised you didn't show up."
The tension had been rising with every word they spoke. They sat
silent, the air seamed to vibrate with the tension.
"I'm not here to make you sad or angry. I'm here because
you need me." the word seamed to release every anger she
had had towards him, but she could not feel any anger. It was
impossible. Even though she tried. Yes, God she tried to hate him!
"I'm grown, I don't need any one to hold my hand" she
said looking angry at him - both of them knew it was just an act,
she had never been able to get angry with him. Not even when he
as a boy had tied her to a tree and cut her hair with an old scissors
cover with rust and dirt.
"I know"
"You better believe it!"
"I know" he nodded at her - this was just too much for
her. In a flash she was curled up against him - crying.
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
The beach walk was good for her, she smiled at the blond man
walking by her side and put her head on his shoulder. For the
first time that week she felt happy - not as happy as she used
to when her friends visited but happier than most times her brother
came to visit her. It hadn't happened that many times, so this
was one of the few times she had to compare too.
A football rolled towards her, as small kid run after it. Ice
bent down and picked it up - handing it over with a smile to the
boy - he smiled at her - she ruffled him in his hair and smiled
warm at the boy.
If you just smile.
That's the time you must keep on trying,
"Your leaving now?"
"Well, you seam to coop with this good, I'm not really needed."
"I'm happy you're here."
"You are?"
"...mmm..." Ice nodded at her brother
"Two weeks ago you wouldn't even have touched me with a
tong - now you ask me to stay..."
"I'm not asking you to stay dummy" she said laughing,
"I just though you did" he said smiling gentle at her.
"Nooo... ...you must have mistaken me for some body else"
she said - now even he got the joke and laughed.
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
"See ya' sis'?"
"Sure, anytime you like bro'"
"Love ya'!" he said as he walked down the lain to his
car
"Hate you brother!" she shouted after him - he turned
and saw that she was smiling as she said it and started to smile
inside.
...love you bro'... she said inside and smiles warmly...
If you just smile
Disclaimer: I don't own Pensacola, I'm just a crazy fan writing idiotic fanfics using names and places. I don't make any profit out of it, I just write stuff...
Writers note: This actually can't be put into the Pensacola time line while both Burner and Capone are in it. So let's just say it is sometime in the future - or maybe next time Burner pays a visit to Pensacola (even though I don't know how both Burner and Capone can be called down to the base then... but then, then I'm not so logical - am I?)