Standard disclaimers apply. Like I always say (and always will… @_@;) I'm broke, so don't sue!!! ^_^;
Gosh! I haven't got some decent sleep lately, coz of these deadlines and all… 'tis freakin' me out! @_@; But know what? I'm happy to see the reviews from you… especially those who have been sticking out right from the start! (U know who you are guys! *_^) Though I'm depressed, writing this story is some sort of 'therapy' for me… and you guys make me feel happy too! Lemme thank you individually:
~Inx's!!!~
chibi-panda: Here's your update! You like suspense? Hehe! Same here! Thanks a lot for droppin' by!
Hitokiri Hatokou: Haha! Thank you so much! Kno' what? It worked! Your SUPER DELUXE REVIEW worked for me! My gosh, I'm so surprised! Haha! You really got me there! Oh-kay, lemme take this one-by-one: 'bout the NC-17? I've consulted it with my cousin and we both are giving it a nice thought. I can't make one so he's gonna be the one to decide and write it for sure. So there. You don't suck okay??? I'm grateful, in fact. You really took time to write this for me. What else…? Oh! Travelling? Yeah, I love it. My dad's a former ambassador but he has retired now but nevertheless I got the opportunity to go to many places even when I'm still a kid coz he'd usually take me with him. I've been to Austria, Italy, Mexico, Spain, Australia… but not yet Japan! :(((( Don't worry, I'll find time to go there, since Manila's near there. ::cross-fingers!::
I'll find time to mail ya… we have so much in common. You can see my reply's getting' longer… already 'nuff to be the update itself!! Ciao! Thank you!!!
Therese Miranda: T H A N K Y O U ! ! !
Sano: You're welcome too! Thanks so much! ^_^
arwen: Yeah, I love K&K! ::Waves with a bokken:: Thanks!
Saby-chan: Yup! Can you feel their 'connection' with each other? That's how unique K&K are, a thing that lacks the other anime pairings in the world. Its love that keeps them together… and their very own existence, their life. Thank you!!!
Willow: Lemme do this like the way you did ^_^: 1stly, thank you! You are superb yourself! Thank you for your time. I don't wanna give the next chap away coz something's gonna happen, I tell ya. It took me two days for me and my cousin to finish this actually. More K&K, promise. 2ndly, thank you and 3rdly, thank you again. Yeah, I agree with ya, FF.net's so nice-looking this time. Owky-dowky? Ja! Here's ya'r update!
KawaiiChica: That's what's nice about Kaoru, neh? Her nature. Au naturelle. Though something's wrong with her, her nature of being a worry-wart (Can you see her similarity with Ken-san? They're destiny! Yay!) really comes out no matter how you put it. She feels she has this 'must' to herself that she has to gain back her memory, to be able to return the love her family gives her. Read on… thank you so much! ^.^
Chri: Don't worry, I'm not making her remember… not just yet. What happened in the previous chap was just… well, read to find out! Hehe! ::grins:: Thank you for your reminder. Its really appreciated, de gozaru yo! ya, I'm making Ken-san tell her about herself. Its real torture making this chap, I tell ya. ^_^
Kamimura Kaoru: Yeah… its really hard. Their separation for the Kyoto Arc is one of the big turning points in their relationship and as you can see in the anime, from the way Kaoru cried, it can be really 'traumatic' for her. Her sadness was contagious, I always cry whenever I see that episode! Poor Kaoru… she lives for Kenshin's love, and in turn, no matter which way he puts it, its Kaoru that maintains his sanity and life. That's the beauty of their love, I guess. THANK YOU!!!
Skipper: Howdy partner? Hehe! I'm just frustrated about them, I think! I love K&K, and for me they're the best couple in anime. Watsuki-sama's a real genius, don't you think? Thank you!!
gracianeko: My cousin really made Ken-san drop the –dono coz (he said @_@;;) the atmosphere and the scene's so serious, continuing with the –dono would ruin the intensity of it. He has a point coz I can't imagine going on with the intimacy with Kenshin still too 'formal'. Kaoru wouldn't feel like embracing him, neh? So there. I just made Kaoru feel at ease with him, coz remember he's a 'stranger' to her. Thank you so much!!! Enjoy the rest of the day! ^_^
omochi: Hold it! Hold it! ::braces omochi:: Nope! Not just yet! K&K's still a lot more to go. Here's your update! Enjoy! Thank ya! ^_^
luks: No prob! What's important for me's the effort of those who take time to read and leave a review to my fic. Its really heart-touching. Though I would hope for any suggestions from you or anythin'… hehe! Just feel free to say anything okay? Just no flames… it breaks my heart. I don't like not-so-nice people, ya know. I easily cry over them! Anyway, THANKS!!! @_@;
hotaru: Thank you so much! Here's your update! Enjoy!!!
Whew! That was long! Thank you all for staying with me. I really appreciate it. I'm gonna concentrate on this fic in the meantime so it's the same with my other SD fic. And here's my way of thanking you… an update! I hope you enjoy. Reviews are welcome, of course! Wish me luck on a dance contest me and my buds joined in, we're gonna dance Objection (Tango) by Shakira. It's a rather seductive dance, and I hate my costume! Oh God, here goes nothin'…
"Oblivion"
Chapter Six:
Okina and the rest of the Oniwabanshuu sat quietly along with Sanosuke leaning on a beam and Kenshin slumped against the wall of the tea room.
"I still can't believe it… Kaoru," Misao mumbled to herself. "I don't know if we should consider this as a curse or an improvement."
Kenshin felt his ragged breathing. His mind was blank, unable to understand what happened that night…
"You came back… no matter how close you were to Battousai, you were still Kenshin… don't go… please…"
"Huh?"
"Please…"
Hot tears soaked his gi as Kaoru leaned heavily on him, trembling as she cried. Kenshin's eyes grew wide. Releasing her from her own grip, he saw complete distress in her face.
"K-kenshin…" she sobbed. "W-what's happen-ing to m-me?"
He brushed away some loose strands in her braid blocking her face and shoved her back. "Hush now Kaoru," he consoled. "Sssh… I'm here."
"No… please," Kaoru still insinuated. "I don't know what's happening! What did I just say? K-kenshinnn…" she pounded her chest. "It really hurts… here."
She cried desperately, clutching Kenshin's gi as if pleading for some comfort. "I feel hurt… hurt," her voice softened. "I don't know why I feel this way whenever I see you. Why Kenshin? Why?"
Kenshin couldn't find the words in his heart to tell her everything.
It pains me more than you ever know, Kaoru…
So many things had happened for the past year and it has been very hard for her. He just can't let risk her thinking all about it until she gets ill again.
She'll know everything in due time…
And his feelings?
Not just yet. I'm afraid she's not ready.
"You should rest now Kaoru," he avoided.
"Are you hiding me something?"
"No."
"Then why won't you talk to me about myself?"
His heart beat faster. "I-I'm not in the right position to tell you so, that I'm not."
"You're lying…"
"I-I'm not…"
"Kenshin…"
"Kaoru…"
"Are you just worried that I may not take everything that easy?"
"N-no… you are strong, that you are Kaoru—its just that its my priority to see that you are well…"
"Shit!" Kaoru shouted, her fist balled against the sheets. "No! You don't know what YOU do! You're not after my wellness if you keep on hiding me my own identity! You just don't know how I feel… how desperate I'am to know who I really am…" she almost choked with her last statement.
Kaoru played with her blankets and let the tears flow down her cheeks.
He just doesn't understand what I feel… I need to know why I'm feeling this way. I just have to…!
"Kenshin…" her voice was barely audible.
"Yes…?"
She did not raise her gaze at him. "I-I just can't ignore whatever it is that makes me feel this way…"
Kenshin did not spoke.
"I have been having visions… blurred visions I don't understand. Nightmares keep plaguing my nights and oftentimes I find myself crying in the middle of my sleep."
"If its true you all say you care for me, and after my welfare… tell me EVERYTHING. No matter how painful my past could've been, then I think I only haven't got control of the situation. But please… I have to know," Kaoru begged. She looked at Kenshin directly in his eyes.
"I-I can't…"
Neither one of them spoke. Finally, Kaoru gave in.
"Then leave," Kaoru spoke sternly. She looked at the other direction. "Relieve me of you and your selfishness."
"K-kaoru, its not what I mean…"
She shut her eyes and spoke firmly. "No… stop. I understand quite well what you're trying to do…"
"Don't do this…"
"Get out."
"K-kaoru…"
"Get out!" she yelled.
Kenshin was surprised by the firmness of her voice. It was the first time she had raised her voice at him like that. His chest began to tighten again in deep remorse. He silently stood up and glanced at the stiff Kaoru. He shoved the room one final check before he headed to his own.
"Himura," Kenshin woke up from his musings and eyed Misao. "I know you are worried about her condition but I think she has a point. She deserves to know her past and its best if we already tell her." She looked at Okina and asked his affirmation. "What do you think Jiya?"
Okina twiddled his beard and thought hard before speaking. "Kaoru-san's condition is very delicate, Misao. Let us remember we are not dealing with just the physical body but her mind. Any wrong thoughts that she prematurely shouldn't be thinking about could damage everything… and Himura just could not take any chances," he glanced at Kenshin. "Is that right?"
Kenshin nodded.
"But what do we do? Jou-chan wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk to anyone of us even let us in her room! We couldn't just let her remain that way forever! She'll die!" Sano's voice was full of concern.
They all fell silent once more. Indeed, Kaoru had been avoiding them since this morning. All she talks to only is Yahiko.
Kenshin was about to say something when the shoji door slid open instantly. Yahiko was worried; sweat making its way to his brows.
"Hey guys, have you seen Kaoru leave her room this morning?"
Kenshin could feel his heart began to race as soon as they found Kaoru's room empty.
They checked the whole Aoiya; each room and corner but did not find her.
Where could she be?
Kyoto is not the town very favorable to foreigners, and Kenshin knows that. He cursed this place, the place where he loathed because of the tragic memories he has had in there. And now, considering Kaoru's condition, she's helpless. Thinking she also forgot her Kamiya Kasshin training, Kenshin silently hoped for her safety.
Their search group decided to separate. Sano and Yahiko headed east; Misao and Omasu went south; while Kuro and Shiro proceeded west. Okon, Megumi and Okina were left to stay at the Aoiya in case Kaoru comes back.
Kenshin chose to go alone, since he knows the northern part very well; familiarized with it when he was still an assassin fifteen years ago. He never really wanted to go through the displeasure of going back in that part of Kyoto, but just to find his Kaoru he would.
Kaoru… be okay, ne?
He felt a little light-headed, considering his lack of sleep because of his very first argument with Kaoru. Actually, he didn't sleep. This was the first time they had a misunderstanding, and he blamed himself for it. He almost tipped on a rock, feeling a little dizzy on the way. But when he remembers Kaoru's vulnerability at present, he struggled to keep his composure.
Afternoon came and the group returned with no news of Kaoru's whereabouts. Kenshin shoved his face and bid the others to stay while he goes out to look for her once more.
"Don't be ridiculous Himura! Its obvious from your look you're worn out! I bet you haven't slept a wink last night because of what happened between you two," Misao said. "I have dispatched messages to our comrades in the city and I have sent them Kaoru's description. Don't worry, if she's in Kyoto I'm sure we'll find her."
Kenshin's expression did not change. "Thank you Misao-dono. But knowing this grim place I cannot relax while she's out. She might be in trouble as we speak…" he couldn't continue what he was about to say when he suddenly felt a spell of nausea. Sano was alert enough to save him from falling.
"What the—! Kenshin, you can't go. Let us do the searching, you're not that well enough yourself!"
"Megumi!"
Megumi came running out of the Aoiya with Okina following close behind. "Did you find her? Its getting late—Ken-san!"
Kenshin tried to stand up. "No, I'm alright Megumi-dono. We have to find K-kaoru…"
"You should rest now Himura! Leave the searching to us! You're forgetting we're spies!" Okina reminded him. Turning to Misao, "Misao, have you checked the Kyoto outskirts yet?"
"Nah, Kaoru-san could never be there! Besides, its only the temple where Aoshi-sama…" she looked at everybody at that instant. They seemed to be thinking of the same. "Could it be possible…?"
Yahiko started walking. "Its best if we check on Ice-face and see if he knows anything…"
"HEYY!! Who are you calling Ice-face???"
"Hmm?"
Aoshi was sipping his tea when he felt a slight breeze sounding the wind chimes.
"I think they have finally known where you might be. They're coming," he said but did not look at the person gazing out of the porch behind him inside the shrine.
Kaoru let in a soft sigh.
"Let them come," she said. "If I have the chance again, I'll leave again and again until they tell me everything."
"You're not being fair, Kamiya-san," Aoshi replied. "Remember that they're just doing it because of their concern for your health. If nothing's at stake then do you think they would have kept it to you in the first place?"
"Its torture for me not to know anything about myself…"
"And to them, not telling you just yet is also torture."
"…"
"…"
Kaoru sighed again.
"I don't know, Shinomori-san. I'm so confused right now."
"Try to find your real nature, Kamiya-san," he said. "You're better than that, I believe."
"Y-you think so?"
"With the kind of treatment you get from my fellows and your own, you must've been special. That's why they just do what they think is best."
Kaoru thought for a second.
Maybe its true I'm just being selfish… but its just that I don't understand what I feel! There's a big part of me that I miss doing… a big part of me that's still not finished… and even the reason why I cant remember, I don't know!
Oh well, I guess Aoshi's right. Maybe I'm too naïve to notice that they're just after my safety.
"What are you thinking about now, Kamiya-san?"
"I'm going home."
There ya go! Please R&R! Thanks! ^_^ I'm turning 100 reviews! Yay! The next chap's finished so… if it reaches 100 I'll upload it ASAP! Deal? Hehe! Thanks so much!!!!