"Hello hello hello"
"Hello."
""
"Hello? Are you still there? Did I scare you?"
"Who the hell are you?"
"I'm the voice in the pipes. Who are you?"
"The same."
"No you're not."
"How do you know?"
"I know you're Harry Potter, that's how."
"Why did you ask me then?"
"I wanted to hear you say it. So why are you talking into pipes?"
"I don't know. I justthe tapping on them soundedlike it was someone. Tapping. Trying to get attention."
"Ahperhaps it was."
"You wanted my attention?"
"Mmmm yes. Yes I did."
"Who are you?"
"I'm the voice in the pipes."
"Are you alive, or dead?"
"That's a terribly impolite question, don't you think?"
"It's terribly impolite to tap on the pipes in my room, too."
"You were lonely."
"I wasn't."
"You were too. You miss sharing a room with your friends, don't you?"
"Well. Yes."
"You don't like having a private room?"
"Hmm. I do. But I don't."
"You'll get used to it."
"I don't want to get used to it."
"Lonely."
"Maybe."
"I know what you mean."
*
"Hello hello again..."
"Ah, there you are. I was starting to wonder."
"Were you."
"Yes. I've been tapping for forty-five minutes."
"I know."
"Why didn't you answer?"
"I didn't feel like talking."
"And why's that? Tough day today?"
"Yes."
"Come on now. Tell your friend the voice in the pipes all about it."
"Did you know that in my second year I found a diary that wrote back?"
"Hmmm yes I did."
"This pipe thing seems a mite mysterious."
"I'm not Tom Riddle."
"You sure?"
"Yes. I'm actually Voldemort."
""
"I'm just kidding!"
"That's not very funny."
"Then why are you laughing?"
"I'm not. I'm coughing. There's something stuck in my throat."
"Your sense of humour, perhaps."
"Heh."
"No, really. I'm not malicious. Well, not right now. I'm justtalking to you. That's all."
"Are you a student here?"
"I'm just a voice in the pipes."
"Are you like Moaning Myrtle?"
"I'm nothing at ALL like Moaning Myrtle, good god."
"You know her?"
"I know of her."
"Well, she haunts a bathroom, and you haunt pipes. You should meet."
"I don't haunt, Harry."
"So you're a student sitting in front of a pipe somewhere?"
"Possibly."
"You don't sound familiar."
"We're a long way apart."
"How can I hear you?"
"I don't know. But I can hear everything that happens in your room. Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"
"I do not."
"Oh yes you do. You woke me up at 5am this morning."
"What did I say?"
"You said, I won't', and please stop'."
"Oh."
"Sound familiar?"
"Maybe."
"What did you dream about?"
"I don't really want to talk about it."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"You should tell that Ron character to keep his voice down. I swear to god he nearly woke up my entire house the other day with his laugh."
"Which house?"
"Not telling."
"How did you know it was me you could hear?"
"Who else would it be? I can hear that Granger friend of yours lecturing you half the time, everyone who walks into your room shouts out your name, and no one else sounds like you. It was pretty easy, really."
"I'm going to get this damn thing plugged up."
"Please don't."
"What?"
"Don't. Justleave it?"
"I don't want you spying on me!"
"I'm not spying."
"Yeah, right."
"I'm not, I swear. I won't use it against you."
"You like this?"
"Wellyes, I do."
"Why?"
*
"Hello? Voice in the pipes? Hello?"
*
"Voice?"
"Yes."
"You're back."
"I am."
"I missed you."
"Did you."
"Yes."
"You didn't get them to plug up the pipe."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Well, you asked me not to. I'm just a bit more careful about what gets said in this room."
"I noticed."
"You wanted to hear more, did you?"
"No, not really. Ron and Hermione bore me."
"It's me you want to hear?"
"Yes. Nightmares again, huh?"
"Hmm."
"Want to tell me yet?"
"No."
"Okay."
"Who are you?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. It does. How would you feel if some random person in the school could hear everything that happens in YOUR room?"
"I'm sure you can hear into mine as well, can't you?"
"Not that I noticed."
"You must be able to. I just don't have people bursting in as often as you do. And I don't talk in my sleep."
"Hmph."
"You can hear me tapping."
"Well, yes."
"I'm just doing that here, it's at the foot of my bed see? It's with a pencil. Hear that?"
"Yes. Why doesn't anyone come into your room then?"
"Hmm. I don't think they like me very much."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. I'm not very nice to them, I guess."
"Hold onI have to go, Ron and Seamus are coming. We'llgo down to the common room."
"Oh. Okay."
*
"Voice?"
""
"Voice, can you hear me?"
""
"Voice, wake up. Wake up!!"
"Ugh. I'm. I'm awake, what?"
"God you were screaming. Nightmare?"
"Maybe."
"You okay?"
"Umwhat time is it?"
"I don't knowtwo o'clock or something?"
"Did you hear me?"
"Yes."
"What did I say?"
"Don't worry, I won't tell. Who would I tell, anyway. I don't even know who you are."
"So what did I say?"
"I didn't catch it."
"Don't lie."
"Hmm. Something about your father."
"Oh."
"I won't tell."
"What do you know?"
"Nothing."
"Don't play games with me."
"You started with the games!"
"What the fuck do you know?"
"Nothing. Really. Only thatwell, that your father is not a nice man."
"It was just a nightmare."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"You could talk to Dumbledore. Orwhoever is head of your house."
"Did you have fun with your friends last night?"
"Um. Yeah, I did."
"That's good."
"I didn't mean to leave you hanging like that."
"It's okay."
"You feel better?"
"I feel fine. I'd better get back to sleep."
"Okay. Call me if youyou know, if you need anything."
"I think I need a glass of water."
"Oh for god's sake."
"Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
"Thanks."