I knew it was a mistake about 30 seconds after we stepped through the Stargate. I felt an electric surge go through my entire body as soon as her fingers touched the back of my neck. I tingled everywhere as her nails trace a delicate trail up through my hair. As her lips gently caressed the soft skin below my right earlobe and placed an all to intimate kiss there, I had to fight off the part of me that wanted to pull her to the ground and claim her body in the name of all things sacred right there in front of the Stargate and the other 6 members of our expedition.
"The game is afoot, colonel" Her almost silent whisper and her tongue tracing its way up my ear as her hand snaked it's way around my chest were really the only things that kept me from getting lost in my dream come true. If I didn't act now I would blow the whole thing, whatever it was…. At least now I knew what she meant by "Reject me" No this was a mistake, there was no way I could fight with her over a situation that had never happened, let alone hit her ' fight with me then slap me' What the hell was she thinking. I wanted to caress every inch of her body, taste her, move her to great heights of passion. But I knew I had to do this and do it now before I list my courage and my restraint. I filled my mind with Baal, torture, any negative image I could conjure and I forced that into the image in my mind of the woman making me want to sit up and beg for more.
I grabbed her hand and put just enough force short of actually hurting her into pushing her away. "What the HELL are you doing Carter?!!"
Sam Carter:
I had begun to wonder how far he was going to let me go before he stopped me. I just hadn't expected him to be so forceful about it. His eyes were fixed on me so tightly I could feel his emotions in the gaze, there was longing there, and desire, but I was surprised at the anger it was palpable. ' God Jack I'm sorry.'
"Aw, What's the matter Jack? Can't handle a little teasing?" I said it as playfully and with as much spirit as I could muster, my heart breaking a little more with every word. 'I can't believe that I'm doing this'. "No more CO / 2IC regulations holding us back, no more secrets, no more lies. I thought you would be happy." I tried to step back into his embrace but he was playing his role just as well as I hoped I was.
"You thought wrong Carter, " He pushed me away, Hard. " You just couldn't leave well enough alone, you got me into your bed with lies and manipulation, but you got me there. And I was ok with that, after all you do have a good body and Colorado nights can get cold. But get this through your head Carter. It stopped being about you a long time ago. You just have to have the attention don't you Carter. Little miss genius scientist. Uber Femmanist. You Just HAD to go and tell Hammond about us. After all we went through to keep it a secret, from Daniel , from Teal's from Jonas and everyone else that might even suspect. DAMN IT SAM. Do you have ANY idea what you've done to me?"
"Done TO you??? Done for you is more like it, I'm just trying to help you LIVE Jack, instead of being closed off and depressed all the time. Depressed about Daniel, Depressed about Kannan and Baal, Hell you still even get depressed about Kowalski, and Sarah and even Charlie. " I knew that was going to far but I couldn't stop now. " Sure you came to my bed with your body, but never with what I wanted from you Jack, never with what I wanted to share with you, never with your heart. If you think that being free to explore your feelings is too much of a burden well …I will not say that I am sorry. .. I should have left you on Eudora with your little whore."
"You bitch, you leave my family out of this. You don't know anything about what I want, or who I am and why should I have ever given you more of me when you were going to run off and get it on with every 2 bit alien to step through the Stargate."
"How Dare you!"
"Narim, Martouf, that Ascended guy, even that Aschen ambassador."
"Joe was not an alien"
"You're just proving my point Carter, just put up a sign, Galactic Sex Kitten Available by request."
I slapped him, it wasn't part of the plan, but that last comment had really hurt. "You have no right!"
"Right!? RIGHT?! Carter I have all the rights I want, considering that you have just taken my entire life and flushed it down the proverbial Crapper." He paused a moment, I said nothing "You know what Carter, you want more of me …? Here!!"
Jack O'Neill:
This conversation had officially become my worst nightmare and it still had to get worse, but maybe I could do something to let Sam know that all this crap I was spouting wasn't real, I just hope that was mutual.
"Here!!" I shouted and grabbed her, pinning her arms behind her and bringing my mouth down on hers. 'God Sam I am so.. so.. so sorry. I love you, I need you, I want you, forgive me.' Were my thoughts that I tried to convey through the most brutal and cruel kiss I had ever given this woman, I just hoped with all of my being that she sensed the passion and need behind it.
Sam: This was not Jack, this was some profound bastard that had momentarily stolen his face , his hands, the body I was pressed against, the arms that enfolded me. The lips and teeth that tore at my own, his tongue that demanded entrance. 'Not how I imagined our first kiss' Jack was in there though, she knew, the Real Jack. He ended the kiss and dropped me back on my feet. I felt dirty, but not as though I had been violated, no, it was as though I had betrayed everyone and everything that I ever loved or had ever loved me. I wanted to be sick.
Jack:
After I released her I knew it was over, she looked broken, and I felt like a total bastard. She would not meet my eyes, I just killed my best friend. But to top it off I still had one more thing I had to do, God I wish I knew why. 'Sam, please forgive me'
"Oh and Carter, you can have this back." Now while she's still in shock, maybe she wont feel it as much I told myself as I let my hand fly toward her left cheek. I contacted with a resounding slap, and watched Carter fall to the ground.
It was less than half a second later that I heard Teal'c's Staff weapon ready.
"Step away from Major Carter please O'Neill." The Jafaa said stoically. " I would prefer not to have to kill you/."
"Um Colonel, I don't …"
"Shut up Jonas" I yelled, staring at Teal'c as I took careful steps away from Carter, Nichols was already helping her up. Her cheek was bright red, and my hand really hurt.
"Stand down Teal'c" She said staring at me blankly and rubbing her jaw.
"Major you take your team and move west", I searched her face to see if that was the right decision. She nodded, and bobbed her head in a manner which I took to mean I should go south. " I'll take my team south, check in every 2 hours, we'll meet back here in 20." I broke eye contact after he gave me an approving nod and a cautionary glance. "SG-1 Move out."
'What the Hell are we doing?!'
"The game is afoot, colonel" Her almost silent whisper and her tongue tracing its way up my ear as her hand snaked it's way around my chest were really the only things that kept me from getting lost in my dream come true. If I didn't act now I would blow the whole thing, whatever it was…. At least now I knew what she meant by "Reject me" No this was a mistake, there was no way I could fight with her over a situation that had never happened, let alone hit her ' fight with me then slap me' What the hell was she thinking. I wanted to caress every inch of her body, taste her, move her to great heights of passion. But I knew I had to do this and do it now before I list my courage and my restraint. I filled my mind with Baal, torture, any negative image I could conjure and I forced that into the image in my mind of the woman making me want to sit up and beg for more.
I grabbed her hand and put just enough force short of actually hurting her into pushing her away. "What the HELL are you doing Carter?!!"
Sam Carter:
I had begun to wonder how far he was going to let me go before he stopped me. I just hadn't expected him to be so forceful about it. His eyes were fixed on me so tightly I could feel his emotions in the gaze, there was longing there, and desire, but I was surprised at the anger it was palpable. ' God Jack I'm sorry.'
"Aw, What's the matter Jack? Can't handle a little teasing?" I said it as playfully and with as much spirit as I could muster, my heart breaking a little more with every word. 'I can't believe that I'm doing this'. "No more CO / 2IC regulations holding us back, no more secrets, no more lies. I thought you would be happy." I tried to step back into his embrace but he was playing his role just as well as I hoped I was.
"You thought wrong Carter, " He pushed me away, Hard. " You just couldn't leave well enough alone, you got me into your bed with lies and manipulation, but you got me there. And I was ok with that, after all you do have a good body and Colorado nights can get cold. But get this through your head Carter. It stopped being about you a long time ago. You just have to have the attention don't you Carter. Little miss genius scientist. Uber Femmanist. You Just HAD to go and tell Hammond about us. After all we went through to keep it a secret, from Daniel , from Teal's from Jonas and everyone else that might even suspect. DAMN IT SAM. Do you have ANY idea what you've done to me?"
"Done TO you??? Done for you is more like it, I'm just trying to help you LIVE Jack, instead of being closed off and depressed all the time. Depressed about Daniel, Depressed about Kannan and Baal, Hell you still even get depressed about Kowalski, and Sarah and even Charlie. " I knew that was going to far but I couldn't stop now. " Sure you came to my bed with your body, but never with what I wanted from you Jack, never with what I wanted to share with you, never with your heart. If you think that being free to explore your feelings is too much of a burden well …I will not say that I am sorry. .. I should have left you on Eudora with your little whore."
"You bitch, you leave my family out of this. You don't know anything about what I want, or who I am and why should I have ever given you more of me when you were going to run off and get it on with every 2 bit alien to step through the Stargate."
"How Dare you!"
"Narim, Martouf, that Ascended guy, even that Aschen ambassador."
"Joe was not an alien"
"You're just proving my point Carter, just put up a sign, Galactic Sex Kitten Available by request."
I slapped him, it wasn't part of the plan, but that last comment had really hurt. "You have no right!"
"Right!? RIGHT?! Carter I have all the rights I want, considering that you have just taken my entire life and flushed it down the proverbial Crapper." He paused a moment, I said nothing "You know what Carter, you want more of me …? Here!!"
Jack O'Neill:
This conversation had officially become my worst nightmare and it still had to get worse, but maybe I could do something to let Sam know that all this crap I was spouting wasn't real, I just hope that was mutual.
"Here!!" I shouted and grabbed her, pinning her arms behind her and bringing my mouth down on hers. 'God Sam I am so.. so.. so sorry. I love you, I need you, I want you, forgive me.' Were my thoughts that I tried to convey through the most brutal and cruel kiss I had ever given this woman, I just hoped with all of my being that she sensed the passion and need behind it.
Sam: This was not Jack, this was some profound bastard that had momentarily stolen his face , his hands, the body I was pressed against, the arms that enfolded me. The lips and teeth that tore at my own, his tongue that demanded entrance. 'Not how I imagined our first kiss' Jack was in there though, she knew, the Real Jack. He ended the kiss and dropped me back on my feet. I felt dirty, but not as though I had been violated, no, it was as though I had betrayed everyone and everything that I ever loved or had ever loved me. I wanted to be sick.
Jack:
After I released her I knew it was over, she looked broken, and I felt like a total bastard. She would not meet my eyes, I just killed my best friend. But to top it off I still had one more thing I had to do, God I wish I knew why. 'Sam, please forgive me'
"Oh and Carter, you can have this back." Now while she's still in shock, maybe she wont feel it as much I told myself as I let my hand fly toward her left cheek. I contacted with a resounding slap, and watched Carter fall to the ground.
It was less than half a second later that I heard Teal'c's Staff weapon ready.
"Step away from Major Carter please O'Neill." The Jafaa said stoically. " I would prefer not to have to kill you/."
"Um Colonel, I don't …"
"Shut up Jonas" I yelled, staring at Teal'c as I took careful steps away from Carter, Nichols was already helping her up. Her cheek was bright red, and my hand really hurt.
"Stand down Teal'c" She said staring at me blankly and rubbing her jaw.
"Major you take your team and move west", I searched her face to see if that was the right decision. She nodded, and bobbed her head in a manner which I took to mean I should go south. " I'll take my team south, check in every 2 hours, we'll meet back here in 20." I broke eye contact after he gave me an approving nod and a cautionary glance. "SG-1 Move out."
'What the Hell are we doing?!'