Jack:
I took another slow breath before I opened my eyes. She was still standing at the machine with her head against the view screen. The thoughts that had been jumping into my head were not ones I dealt well with. I fought to calm down, to get both my thoughts and my hormones under control. 'Touching Sam, Kissing Sam, Undressing Sam with my eyes, that briefing last week where her T-shirt had been just a little tighter than usual. Sex on Base? Sam Naked!? I can imagine it, I've studied every inch of her body, from the swell of her breast to the curve of her thigh, her toned and well muscled but oh so female legs…arms .. rear end to soft blond curly ….'
STOP THINKING THAT!!
"ow", I held my head at the pain.
I may lose my position because of your friends curiosity, and all you can think about is your woman's body.
"You started it!" I accused, guessing that those initial mental suggestions had come from her. My mind tends to wander to Sam, but not that much.
Hi'ka paused for a moment, looking thoughtfully at me, seeming to consider accusation. A set of worry lines creased her forehead. Her playful and non-threatening curiosity replaced by a somewhat worrying, cunning manipulator.
I didn't realize I was broadcasting to you as well.
"Well please try to be more careful next time."
She turned back to her control panel and view screen, turning knobs and pushing buttons. Following Jonas and the rest of "the new" SG-1.
"Wait, broadcasting to me as well? Who else were you broadcasting thoughts of a naked Carter to?"
She glared at me. I don't have time for this, your friends have discovered the core, if they endanger it in any way our entire world . . I swear I could feel her probing my mind for a term that fit her concept. Retu ?? . . . back to that later. her eyes were practically boring into my head and it was starting to hurt. They are NID, and that is .. not good. Why are they here? Technology, amoral, touchstone, dangerous. The core is in danger!.
She turned back to the console and hit a large green button. My head was pulled unceremoniously back down onto the hard table I was still on and as the familiar warm feeling spread through my body bringing with it a very annoying and ill-timed nap. All I could think to say was. "Oh peachy."
**********
Sam:
We crested the top of the stairs and I once again saw the ornate carving adorning the walls of the small room. At the far end an intricately crafted doorway opened into a large room with a vaulted ceiling and stone pillars. Flaming torches lined the walls at even intervals. I was urged forward by something, probably the memories that Jolinar held of this place. I stepped through the doorway and knew instantly that I should not have.
'Should not have come here, should not have sought the master. Flee this place.'
The memories from my once Symbiote flooded my mind, and in the seconds it took for my thoughts to clear, I was too late to keep Teal'c from passing through the doorway behind me. By the time I turned, the doorway was gone and the face of Lo'da stared angrily back at me.
You should not have returned here Jolinar of Malkshor. I warned you, there will be no regard for your Tok'ra philosophies, I will show no mercy save making your death swift. He raised his hand and the flash of light came quickly, numbing my thought and senses and plunging me into memories..
I could practically feel the study of each emotion related to the memories of my life. The happier moments would pause and be heightened. Birthday's, Christmas, Family moments throughout my childhood. Until it stopped on one particular day when my father came home and told me that my mother had died in a car accident, I remember that day, it was one of the most painful days of my life. But it was being presented to me completely bare of all emotion. In complete contrast to the rest of this "Show". Then all at once the day started over. Mom in the kitchen cooking breakfast that morning, everything continued normally, except that right before I left for school, I said that I had reconsidered taking ballet and asked if she could pick up some shoes for me while she was out. When I returned home, she was there, alive and bubbling about how much I would love Ballet.
The fast forward resumed and although the scenes that followed seemed familiar the inserted presence of my mother did not. If anything, it hurt. The scene slowed again and again throughout my young life showing me how I was responsible for all the horrible things that happened in my life; from the conflict between my father and my brother, to loosing Jonas. But then it got worse.
Teal'c:
I followed Samantha Carter through the entry corridor of the Temple of Lo'da. Only when I felt my symbiote struggling did I know that entering this place was unwise, I had time enough only to see Major Carter turn toward me in concern then look past me as fear and confusion flooded her features before I was struggling for consciousness. My thoughts left me and I was given view of my life from it's beginning up to the present. Several times it focused on specific parts of my life. The Death of my father at the hand of Chronus, my marriage to Drey'ac and the birth of Ry'ac and my act of turning against Apophis. These, along with countless other memories was played out in great detail. However, the pleasant memories were too pleasant the emotion practically overwhelming the event. And the moment of sorrow or regret played inaccurately showing me overcoming each adversity or preventing it altogether. I did not understand the purpose of this exercise and found it altogether disconcerting. As the visions approached the present time, I placed myself into a state of Kel'no'reem so that I could concentrate on the status of my symbiote, who was apparently in distress.
Jack:
I sensed it coming from somewhere. A need for something, a sob, a cry . . . she's crying . . . Sam is crying?! Why?! SAM!! I wanted to find her, to go to her, to comfort her. But I can't move. "Aaagh! Sam!!"
She is in pain, hurting so deep. "Oh, God, SAM!!! I'm here!"
Jack?!
I see her then, beside me in the locker room at the SGC, she was wearing the tank top that I remember and things played out pretty much as I remember. Except when we got to the part about me saying "Not like this.", instead of taking her to the infirmary, I showed her EXACTLY how I did want her."
I got lost in the images that flooded into my mind. Over and over again different scenes of Carter and I the way things might have? Could have? Or should have been?
Sam:
It was too much. My mothers death I could deal with, I had always placed some blame on myself, knowing that I could have said or done something different to change her fate. But it had never occurred to me that it was because of who I was that she had died. Because I wasn't the ballerina daughter she always wanted, that was why she died. The rift between Dad and Mark being my fault, I was the son that Mark didn't want to be. And because of that Dad didn't need to fix things didn't need Mark's love or understanding, because he had mine. If I had only been a different person.
It got worse when the things changing were me in the military, the worst being situations between Jack and I. I got to see every opportunity to be happy that I had sabotaged, every possibility to have the life that I wanted destroyed because of who I was, who I am. 'Jack, I'm so sorry.' I could feel death coming and I welcomed it, better to rid the world of me rather than allow me to continue destroying the lives of those around me. And denying Jack every chance he had at happiness. 'Please just let me die now.'
Jack:
Please just let me die now. I heard her voice speak those words, but I couldn't believe them. Not my Sam, not after all the things we had just been through together. Making love in the base showers. Figuring out where her mole is. But I could feel her slipping away from me. "Sam, NO!" I loved you Jack. Then I couldn't feel her anymore, she was gone. "SAM!!! NO!!!" I needed to get to her. NOW!
I took another slow breath before I opened my eyes. She was still standing at the machine with her head against the view screen. The thoughts that had been jumping into my head were not ones I dealt well with. I fought to calm down, to get both my thoughts and my hormones under control. 'Touching Sam, Kissing Sam, Undressing Sam with my eyes, that briefing last week where her T-shirt had been just a little tighter than usual. Sex on Base? Sam Naked!? I can imagine it, I've studied every inch of her body, from the swell of her breast to the curve of her thigh, her toned and well muscled but oh so female legs…arms .. rear end to soft blond curly ….'
STOP THINKING THAT!!
"ow", I held my head at the pain.
I may lose my position because of your friends curiosity, and all you can think about is your woman's body.
"You started it!" I accused, guessing that those initial mental suggestions had come from her. My mind tends to wander to Sam, but not that much.
Hi'ka paused for a moment, looking thoughtfully at me, seeming to consider accusation. A set of worry lines creased her forehead. Her playful and non-threatening curiosity replaced by a somewhat worrying, cunning manipulator.
I didn't realize I was broadcasting to you as well.
"Well please try to be more careful next time."
She turned back to her control panel and view screen, turning knobs and pushing buttons. Following Jonas and the rest of "the new" SG-1.
"Wait, broadcasting to me as well? Who else were you broadcasting thoughts of a naked Carter to?"
She glared at me. I don't have time for this, your friends have discovered the core, if they endanger it in any way our entire world . . I swear I could feel her probing my mind for a term that fit her concept. Retu ?? . . . back to that later. her eyes were practically boring into my head and it was starting to hurt. They are NID, and that is .. not good. Why are they here? Technology, amoral, touchstone, dangerous. The core is in danger!.
She turned back to the console and hit a large green button. My head was pulled unceremoniously back down onto the hard table I was still on and as the familiar warm feeling spread through my body bringing with it a very annoying and ill-timed nap. All I could think to say was. "Oh peachy."
**********
Sam:
We crested the top of the stairs and I once again saw the ornate carving adorning the walls of the small room. At the far end an intricately crafted doorway opened into a large room with a vaulted ceiling and stone pillars. Flaming torches lined the walls at even intervals. I was urged forward by something, probably the memories that Jolinar held of this place. I stepped through the doorway and knew instantly that I should not have.
'Should not have come here, should not have sought the master. Flee this place.'
The memories from my once Symbiote flooded my mind, and in the seconds it took for my thoughts to clear, I was too late to keep Teal'c from passing through the doorway behind me. By the time I turned, the doorway was gone and the face of Lo'da stared angrily back at me.
You should not have returned here Jolinar of Malkshor. I warned you, there will be no regard for your Tok'ra philosophies, I will show no mercy save making your death swift. He raised his hand and the flash of light came quickly, numbing my thought and senses and plunging me into memories..
I could practically feel the study of each emotion related to the memories of my life. The happier moments would pause and be heightened. Birthday's, Christmas, Family moments throughout my childhood. Until it stopped on one particular day when my father came home and told me that my mother had died in a car accident, I remember that day, it was one of the most painful days of my life. But it was being presented to me completely bare of all emotion. In complete contrast to the rest of this "Show". Then all at once the day started over. Mom in the kitchen cooking breakfast that morning, everything continued normally, except that right before I left for school, I said that I had reconsidered taking ballet and asked if she could pick up some shoes for me while she was out. When I returned home, she was there, alive and bubbling about how much I would love Ballet.
The fast forward resumed and although the scenes that followed seemed familiar the inserted presence of my mother did not. If anything, it hurt. The scene slowed again and again throughout my young life showing me how I was responsible for all the horrible things that happened in my life; from the conflict between my father and my brother, to loosing Jonas. But then it got worse.
Teal'c:
I followed Samantha Carter through the entry corridor of the Temple of Lo'da. Only when I felt my symbiote struggling did I know that entering this place was unwise, I had time enough only to see Major Carter turn toward me in concern then look past me as fear and confusion flooded her features before I was struggling for consciousness. My thoughts left me and I was given view of my life from it's beginning up to the present. Several times it focused on specific parts of my life. The Death of my father at the hand of Chronus, my marriage to Drey'ac and the birth of Ry'ac and my act of turning against Apophis. These, along with countless other memories was played out in great detail. However, the pleasant memories were too pleasant the emotion practically overwhelming the event. And the moment of sorrow or regret played inaccurately showing me overcoming each adversity or preventing it altogether. I did not understand the purpose of this exercise and found it altogether disconcerting. As the visions approached the present time, I placed myself into a state of Kel'no'reem so that I could concentrate on the status of my symbiote, who was apparently in distress.
Jack:
I sensed it coming from somewhere. A need for something, a sob, a cry . . . she's crying . . . Sam is crying?! Why?! SAM!! I wanted to find her, to go to her, to comfort her. But I can't move. "Aaagh! Sam!!"
She is in pain, hurting so deep. "Oh, God, SAM!!! I'm here!"
Jack?!
I see her then, beside me in the locker room at the SGC, she was wearing the tank top that I remember and things played out pretty much as I remember. Except when we got to the part about me saying "Not like this.", instead of taking her to the infirmary, I showed her EXACTLY how I did want her."
I got lost in the images that flooded into my mind. Over and over again different scenes of Carter and I the way things might have? Could have? Or should have been?
Sam:
It was too much. My mothers death I could deal with, I had always placed some blame on myself, knowing that I could have said or done something different to change her fate. But it had never occurred to me that it was because of who I was that she had died. Because I wasn't the ballerina daughter she always wanted, that was why she died. The rift between Dad and Mark being my fault, I was the son that Mark didn't want to be. And because of that Dad didn't need to fix things didn't need Mark's love or understanding, because he had mine. If I had only been a different person.
It got worse when the things changing were me in the military, the worst being situations between Jack and I. I got to see every opportunity to be happy that I had sabotaged, every possibility to have the life that I wanted destroyed because of who I was, who I am. 'Jack, I'm so sorry.' I could feel death coming and I welcomed it, better to rid the world of me rather than allow me to continue destroying the lives of those around me. And denying Jack every chance he had at happiness. 'Please just let me die now.'
Jack:
Please just let me die now. I heard her voice speak those words, but I couldn't believe them. Not my Sam, not after all the things we had just been through together. Making love in the base showers. Figuring out where her mole is. But I could feel her slipping away from me. "Sam, NO!" I loved you Jack. Then I couldn't feel her anymore, she was gone. "SAM!!! NO!!!" I needed to get to her. NOW!