Jack: I want him dead. I want him here right now so I can personally squeeze the life from him and fire round after round into his pathetic lifeless body. That's what I want. Nothing more, noth- no, I want him to suffer more than that! Whatever had just happened made me feel like I'd watched and experienced some kind of twisted soap opera of Sam's life… of my life… every moment… every touch, every caress… I felt the emotions of peace… and somehow I knew that Sam felt the opposite of that. Fear, regret… a desire to die. Those things were what she was feeling at the time, though I'm not sure how I knew that. I didn't know why whatever did this made me want to feel happy at the fact that Sam was suffering, but there was one thing I did know. Brower was going to die somehow.
"Oh, interesting! I've never known it to work that way before!" Hi'ka said, and I glanced over at her.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, stepping closer
"The virus that Lo'da uses on the Goa'uld; normally, it feeds the pleasure sources of the host mind, focusing on regrettable events from their life, and showing them the possibilities of what could have been. It also simultaneously causes the symbiote pain and suffering, making them feel regret and guilt for what they've caused the host. This all culminates in the death of the symbiote and freedom of the host, and leaves the host with a sense of satisfaction at the death of the symbiote… though why it fed through to you rather than her symbiote, I'm not sure."
"Uh… she doesn't have a symbiote… she used to-"
"Well, that explains things, doesn't it? If it couldn't find a host mind, it could have theoretically treated the dominant personality as the symbiote, and gone searching for another mind to treat as the host. So, if she had any strong emotions for you, like fear, hate… love… and vice-versa, that could cause something like this. Especially if you were thinking about each other at the time… and I know you were… it could have very easily locked onto you as the host. If that's the case, she's got to be feeling just terrible about now!"
I looked at her. This was a little bit too far for this Lo'da guy to go!
"Ya think?" I asked, a bit annoyed at how… carefree she sounded about this whole thing. It just pissed me off! I stormed around the room for a while, pretty vocal about how I felt, and colorful with my language. "Look, thanks for everything, but I've really got to get to S-"
"Oh, dear… Colonel, look here…" I glanced over her shoulder at a small device. Some sort of projector, for all I could tell. There were Sam and Brower.
"I can help you forget Major. All the pain will be gone. " Her crying quieted even more. " I'll help you forget O'Neill, if you'll help me."
"No way in hell!" I shouted. "You son of a-" I paused and looked at Hi'ka with a plea in my eyes, "Let me go there… help me!"
"Colonel, I'll let you go, but that's all I can do. The others you brought are getting here slowly, and I must guard the generator."
"Generator… where?"
"All around you, Colonel." She said, sweeping her arms around her. "We're in the core. All the phase functions, everything for the entire world to stay in phase in run from here. If they get here and manage to stop the generator, our entire world would drop back into normal phase, our people would die, it would destroy this world."
I pondered that for a moment. Knowing the NID they would tear the place apart brick by brick if it would mean technology for earth and damn the consequences to anyone else. Had that been what Sam was so worried about, she somehow knew about this generator, 'about the potential harm that the NID could bring to this world , of what we could find here and possibly use to benefit earth if only we could do it in the right way. Without putting these people at risk' 'that's what the note was for, why we're risking everything' 'even our own emotions.' 'To distract them, present a divided front' 'let them believe that they've won the war before the first battle begins' 'No time, couldn't think of another way … I'm sorry' 'It's okay.' Some of those thoughts weren't mine, they were Sam's, I recognized her thoughts in my mind as they surfaced. Not sure what it meant, I found it comforting none the less. Part of her was still with me.
"If I can't get back, how can I help Sam?"
"Lo'da can help you get back into your phase. You would normally revert on your own in a few days. "
I decided that getting angry wouldn't do any good and it definitely wasn't going to get me to Sam any faster. "Fine with me… where can I find him?"
"There." She indicated the scene in her . .projector.
I have no Idea how she did it, but somehow I knew the location, the way there, the dangers of travelling there on the shortest route through the forest. 'I'm coming Sam.'
I could have sworn just then that I herd her say 'hurry'.
"Oh, interesting! I've never known it to work that way before!" Hi'ka said, and I glanced over at her.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, stepping closer
"The virus that Lo'da uses on the Goa'uld; normally, it feeds the pleasure sources of the host mind, focusing on regrettable events from their life, and showing them the possibilities of what could have been. It also simultaneously causes the symbiote pain and suffering, making them feel regret and guilt for what they've caused the host. This all culminates in the death of the symbiote and freedom of the host, and leaves the host with a sense of satisfaction at the death of the symbiote… though why it fed through to you rather than her symbiote, I'm not sure."
"Uh… she doesn't have a symbiote… she used to-"
"Well, that explains things, doesn't it? If it couldn't find a host mind, it could have theoretically treated the dominant personality as the symbiote, and gone searching for another mind to treat as the host. So, if she had any strong emotions for you, like fear, hate… love… and vice-versa, that could cause something like this. Especially if you were thinking about each other at the time… and I know you were… it could have very easily locked onto you as the host. If that's the case, she's got to be feeling just terrible about now!"
I looked at her. This was a little bit too far for this Lo'da guy to go!
"Ya think?" I asked, a bit annoyed at how… carefree she sounded about this whole thing. It just pissed me off! I stormed around the room for a while, pretty vocal about how I felt, and colorful with my language. "Look, thanks for everything, but I've really got to get to S-"
"Oh, dear… Colonel, look here…" I glanced over her shoulder at a small device. Some sort of projector, for all I could tell. There were Sam and Brower.
"I can help you forget Major. All the pain will be gone. " Her crying quieted even more. " I'll help you forget O'Neill, if you'll help me."
"No way in hell!" I shouted. "You son of a-" I paused and looked at Hi'ka with a plea in my eyes, "Let me go there… help me!"
"Colonel, I'll let you go, but that's all I can do. The others you brought are getting here slowly, and I must guard the generator."
"Generator… where?"
"All around you, Colonel." She said, sweeping her arms around her. "We're in the core. All the phase functions, everything for the entire world to stay in phase in run from here. If they get here and manage to stop the generator, our entire world would drop back into normal phase, our people would die, it would destroy this world."
I pondered that for a moment. Knowing the NID they would tear the place apart brick by brick if it would mean technology for earth and damn the consequences to anyone else. Had that been what Sam was so worried about, she somehow knew about this generator, 'about the potential harm that the NID could bring to this world , of what we could find here and possibly use to benefit earth if only we could do it in the right way. Without putting these people at risk' 'that's what the note was for, why we're risking everything' 'even our own emotions.' 'To distract them, present a divided front' 'let them believe that they've won the war before the first battle begins' 'No time, couldn't think of another way … I'm sorry' 'It's okay.' Some of those thoughts weren't mine, they were Sam's, I recognized her thoughts in my mind as they surfaced. Not sure what it meant, I found it comforting none the less. Part of her was still with me.
"If I can't get back, how can I help Sam?"
"Lo'da can help you get back into your phase. You would normally revert on your own in a few days. "
I decided that getting angry wouldn't do any good and it definitely wasn't going to get me to Sam any faster. "Fine with me… where can I find him?"
"There." She indicated the scene in her . .projector.
I have no Idea how she did it, but somehow I knew the location, the way there, the dangers of travelling there on the shortest route through the forest. 'I'm coming Sam.'
I could have sworn just then that I herd her say 'hurry'.