Chapter 2
Disclaimer: This belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. The authors are making no money off of it. Any other citations will be made where necessary.
Rating: R. Slash.
Author's Note: Sorry about the loooooong delay in updating. Because you've had to wait, we are willing to make this chapter extra long. The next chapter won't be up for awhile. So hope you like it. Um. we have a very twisted sense of humor. Hopefully you'll find it funny too. Understand that we were very hyper when we were writing this and we can hardly help ourselves from writing really warped things that will confuse your mind. Read and Review.
"Harry!" Ron shouted, "You're not supposed to apparate in my room. For God's sake, I could have been changing. But I'm fucking so it's worse."
"Oh I'm sorry. But now what I'm here, can I join?" Harry asked.
"What!?" Hermione exclaimed.
"I'm joking, I'm joking," Harry stammered.
"Okay good," said Ron, "well go hang around Ginny. We gotta get dressed."
"Okay," said Harry gloomily. He walked out of the room, and down the stairs into the kitchen.
"Oh hi Harry, dear," Mrs. Weasley exclaimed.
"Hello Mrs. Weasley. Do you like chicken, Mrs. Weasley? Cuz I sure do!"
"I like chicken, we can have some tonight," she said. Fred and George entered the room.
"Hey Harry," Fred greeted, "simply smashing to see you."
"Yes, "George said, "come in our room for some candy."
"Yeah, candy. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge," Fred said (A/N: Hey that rhymes)! Harry followed them into the basement.
"Want some candy?"
"I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."
"We're not strangers you dope. You are a dope right?"
"Well what do you mean by dope?"
"Well your name says it all, Harry POTter."
"Oh that," Harry said, "Yeah I'm a dope. I like stealing from my uncle's stash."
"Cool," said Fred, "want some booze?"
"Yeah sure, what kind?" Harry asked.
"Rum," George answered.
"Cool, pass me some." And he took a huge swig from the bottle.
"Dinner!" Mrs. Weasley shouted and by then Harry was pissed drunk. He stumbled on his way and fell up the stairs.
"Ow! I'm okay but my wang is not." He walked into the kitchen where Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Bill, Charlie, Mrs. and Mr. Weasley were.
(A/N: Turn the page. Sorry, private joke).
"Hello, I know what you're thinking, but I'm not drunk," he babbled to the refrigerator. He sat down on the floor accidentally, "Oops, silly me." He sat on the chair and stared at the chicken amazed.
"Whoa. This chicken is the weirdest thing ever," Harry said, "Dude look." He picked up the chicken and made it fly in the air. "Who says chickens can't fly?" The Weasleys stared at him. Then he continued on with a Texan accent. "I heard chickens have teeth, or at least they do in Chicken Run. It's fun making fun of those bragging Texans down in the south. (A/N: We are aware that America is NOT in the south, but Harry's drunk so it's legitimate). The stars at night are big and bright. Clap, clap, clap." He paused briefly, expecting everyone to sing with him but they didn't. So he continued on his own, "Deep in the heart of Texas!"
Ron stared at him and exclaimed, "Are you feeling okey dokey, Harry?"
"NO!!" Harry shouted, "Yeah I guess I'm all right." They all stared. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR PROBLEMS, YOU DAMN PEOPLE?!"
"Are you drunk, Harry," Hermione asked.
"Nope, completely God damn sober!" Harry said, "Oh shit. I didn't mean to puke on you, Fred."
"Meh. It's all good." Harry stuffed the small chicken down his throat. (A/N: Sorry guys, we're drunk off Baileys. Not yet but we will be.) Everyone burst out laughing.
"WOULD YOU STOP LAUGHING, IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Harry shouted at the top of his lungs. "Let's go Ron, and Hermione." And they went upstairs.
They sat in Ron's room, completely surrounded by smoke.
"This is fucking cool," Harry said.
"We don't fucking swear in this fucking house, Harry," Ron muttered, totally stoned.
"You just did you silly goose," Harry said. Harry fell asleep after awhile. Little did he know that something spectacular, but also shitty would happen while he was.
That's all. Next chapter up in awhile. R&R!! Okay bye.
Disclaimer: This belongs to JK Rowling and Warner Bros. The authors are making no money off of it. Any other citations will be made where necessary.
Rating: R. Slash.
Author's Note: Sorry about the loooooong delay in updating. Because you've had to wait, we are willing to make this chapter extra long. The next chapter won't be up for awhile. So hope you like it. Um. we have a very twisted sense of humor. Hopefully you'll find it funny too. Understand that we were very hyper when we were writing this and we can hardly help ourselves from writing really warped things that will confuse your mind. Read and Review.
"Harry!" Ron shouted, "You're not supposed to apparate in my room. For God's sake, I could have been changing. But I'm fucking so it's worse."
"Oh I'm sorry. But now what I'm here, can I join?" Harry asked.
"What!?" Hermione exclaimed.
"I'm joking, I'm joking," Harry stammered.
"Okay good," said Ron, "well go hang around Ginny. We gotta get dressed."
"Okay," said Harry gloomily. He walked out of the room, and down the stairs into the kitchen.
"Oh hi Harry, dear," Mrs. Weasley exclaimed.
"Hello Mrs. Weasley. Do you like chicken, Mrs. Weasley? Cuz I sure do!"
"I like chicken, we can have some tonight," she said. Fred and George entered the room.
"Hey Harry," Fred greeted, "simply smashing to see you."
"Yes, "George said, "come in our room for some candy."
"Yeah, candy. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge," Fred said (A/N: Hey that rhymes)! Harry followed them into the basement.
"Want some candy?"
"I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."
"We're not strangers you dope. You are a dope right?"
"Well what do you mean by dope?"
"Well your name says it all, Harry POTter."
"Oh that," Harry said, "Yeah I'm a dope. I like stealing from my uncle's stash."
"Cool," said Fred, "want some booze?"
"Yeah sure, what kind?" Harry asked.
"Rum," George answered.
"Cool, pass me some." And he took a huge swig from the bottle.
"Dinner!" Mrs. Weasley shouted and by then Harry was pissed drunk. He stumbled on his way and fell up the stairs.
"Ow! I'm okay but my wang is not." He walked into the kitchen where Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Bill, Charlie, Mrs. and Mr. Weasley were.
(A/N: Turn the page. Sorry, private joke).
"Hello, I know what you're thinking, but I'm not drunk," he babbled to the refrigerator. He sat down on the floor accidentally, "Oops, silly me." He sat on the chair and stared at the chicken amazed.
"Whoa. This chicken is the weirdest thing ever," Harry said, "Dude look." He picked up the chicken and made it fly in the air. "Who says chickens can't fly?" The Weasleys stared at him. Then he continued on with a Texan accent. "I heard chickens have teeth, or at least they do in Chicken Run. It's fun making fun of those bragging Texans down in the south. (A/N: We are aware that America is NOT in the south, but Harry's drunk so it's legitimate). The stars at night are big and bright. Clap, clap, clap." He paused briefly, expecting everyone to sing with him but they didn't. So he continued on his own, "Deep in the heart of Texas!"
Ron stared at him and exclaimed, "Are you feeling okey dokey, Harry?"
"NO!!" Harry shouted, "Yeah I guess I'm all right." They all stared. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUR PROBLEMS, YOU DAMN PEOPLE?!"
"Are you drunk, Harry," Hermione asked.
"Nope, completely God damn sober!" Harry said, "Oh shit. I didn't mean to puke on you, Fred."
"Meh. It's all good." Harry stuffed the small chicken down his throat. (A/N: Sorry guys, we're drunk off Baileys. Not yet but we will be.) Everyone burst out laughing.
"WOULD YOU STOP LAUGHING, IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Harry shouted at the top of his lungs. "Let's go Ron, and Hermione." And they went upstairs.
They sat in Ron's room, completely surrounded by smoke.
"This is fucking cool," Harry said.
"We don't fucking swear in this fucking house, Harry," Ron muttered, totally stoned.
"You just did you silly goose," Harry said. Harry fell asleep after awhile. Little did he know that something spectacular, but also shitty would happen while he was.
That's all. Next chapter up in awhile. R&R!! Okay bye.