Changed
Chapter 3: Forgiven?
*- Here comes the third part. Thanks for all the reviews, I'm very thankful for them :) And it's official, tomorrow is my last day of school, no more school for the next 2 months and 3 weeks. Couldn't be happier. Welcome summer vacation!
Catnamedzane: I know you didn't mean to "hurt my feelings" and you didn't. I know it was just a comment trying to help, and that's how I took it, I was just explaining why the mistakes in my writing :)
Disclaimer: Same. Not mine nor yours, but theirs.
Ok, so here starts part 3, enjoy and please review -*
A few days later Monica gathered the courage to go and talk to Chandler and tell him everything she wanted to say. She had called Ross in the morning to ask for Chandler's address and now that it was 5:30pm, she was going over there to let everything out.
She walked down the New York streets, deciding to walk since the building wasn't too far away. She looked at the people walking around her, seeing happy people everywhere. How could they be so happy? She wished she felt the same way. Well, it wasn't like she was depressed, but she could be happier if she had someone beside her, not only friendly-wise.
She sighed as she entered Chandler's building, prepearing herself for what was coming, whatever that was.
As she took the elevator towards the 11th floor, she pondered wether to forgive him or not. In her head she went over all the consequences, good or bad, her decision could bring.
As she knocked the door to his apartment she made her final decision. She was going to do what seemed the best for both of them.
When Chandler heard the knock, he got up and went over to open the door, wondering who could be on the other side. When he discovered it was Monica, he looked surprised.
"Hey" Chandler said, his voice telling Monica he was wondering what she was doing there.
"You hurt me" she said simply.
"I--"
"No, let me finish" she interrupted him "When you said that about me, it hurt me a lot. I was very young, vulnerable and looking for someone. I thought... I thought that someone could be you. You looked like a very nice guy and were very funny too, and I immediately felt attracted to you.
"When I entered the kitchen - right before you called me fat - I was going there to talk to you, to try and start a conversation, but when I heard that every hope I had went to hell.
"I know I shouldn't blame you, I was, afterall, fat... but I guess I expected too much from you"
"No you didn't" Chandler interrupted her "I shouldn't have called you that, I should have been mature enough to look past that, but I just didn't" he explained, as they both stood in the entrance of his apartment.
"I know" Monica said "I know you didn't and that's... that's fine"
"It is?" he asked.
"Yeah. I guess I've been overreacting a lot lately when it comes to that. It really hurt me a lot and everything, but I suppose you have changed since then"
"And I have"
"And that's why I've decided to forgive you. This doesn't mean I will let this go completely, I guess I will never forget that, but I won't keep throwing it to your face, we all do things we regret, in case you regret this"
"Of course I do, I never meant to hurt you"
"I hope you didn't. And I hope you don't do it again, Chandler, because this is a chance I'm giving you, and if you ever screw it up again, then no more chances"
"Thanks, Mon. Thanks for giving me that chance, and I promise I won't hurt you... not on purpose at least"
"I guess I've been like this" Monica kept explaining as she now entered his apartment and sat down on the couch "because it brought back so many memories. While I was coming here I saw so many couples, and it made me just wish I had that special someone too, y'know? And when you came back, I remembered all those past years, the ones I decided to put at the back of my head, because the only memories I've got is of people laughing at me because of my weight, of guys rejecting me because of my weight. Of no one liking me because of my weight" Monica said sadly.
"But that's all over now, right?" Chandler asked "I mean, you are beautiful now, no one should be making fun of you"
"And they are not, but I'm still alone" Monica replied, not knowing why she was telling all this to Chandler. "And I don't get it" she continued with a sob "I know I'm not wonder woman, I know I'm definitely not the perfect woman, the one every guy dreams of, but-but am I really that bad?" and now she was crying.
Chandler looked at her as she cried, not knowing what to do. Not knowing if he should take her in his arms or just let her cry, not knowing if he was allowed to comfort her. But being allowed or not, he did it anyway, he couldn't really stand seeing anyone - let alone Monica - crying like this. So he wrapped his arms around her.
"Shh, Mon, it's ok, everything will be ok" he said as he rocked her back and forth.
"But... but what if it won't?" she asked between sobs.
"It will, I promise you. Look, I know I don't know much of you, and well, the times we have talked you haven't been that nice to me, but I can see you are a wonderful person. If no one has seen that it's because they are all blind, and they have no idea of what they are missing"
Monica lifted her head, which was resting against his chest, to look at him "Thank you, Chandler"
"Don't need to" he said and smiled.
She wiped away her tears "God, I'm sorry for being such a crying baby" she apologized.
"It's ok, we all are from time to time"
She smiled and stood up "Well, I'm going to go. Thanks for listening"
"No problem. Thanks for giving me another chance"
"It's ok. I think you deserve it"
"So do I" he teased.
"Bye Chandler, I hope to see you soon" she paused "Wow, I never thought I would hear myself saying this to you"
Chandler laughed "Believe me I never thought I was going to hear it coming from you either"
"Bye" she said as she kissed his cheek.
"Bye" Chandler replied and smiled at her. As Monica reached the knob, he said "Oh, and Mon?"
She turned around to look at him "Yeah?"
"Everything will be fine, I promise"
She just smiled and walked out of the apartment.
--
After Monica left his apartment, Chandler just stared at his TV. When he had first seen Monica on the other side of the door he had feared the worse. He thought she was going to tell him to go to hell and leave her alone, but he was happy about the outcome.
He always hoped Monica would find the time to forgive him, after all she was Ross's sister and Rachel's best friend and it would suck if they had to hang out with him without her.
As Monica had explained everything, Chandler understood her anger and hurt. He had always been the center of jokes when it came to his gay father, the only difference between Monica and him was that he could hide it, Monica couldn't. She had been fat and everyone could see it.
While he kept thinking about all this, he realized he was happy about Monica's decision not only because he would get to hang out with all three, but also because he would get the chance to actually get to know her as a person and maybe help her out whenever she needed it, just like he had now.
He relaxed back on the couch, finally paying attention to the TV with a smile on his face.
--
"How did it go? How did it go?" Rachel asked the second Monica crossed the door of their apartment.
"Where?"
"Come on! You know where!"
"How did you know I was going there anyway?"
"Ross told me"
"Ah, nice how I can trust him"
"Well, come on, tell me, how did it go? What did you tell him?"
"Geez, Rach, relax"
"I'm relaxed, just curious" Rachel said.
"Well, I don't know if I want to talk about it now..." Monica teased.
"Aww, come on! You can't leave me here!"
"Fine, fine... I-I forgave him"
Rachel smiled "You did?" Monica nodded. "That's great!"
"Yeah, I think so too"
"So, now you believe me he has changed?"
"Yup. He seems like a great guy indeed"
"What made you forgive him anyway?"
"I don't know... A few seconds before knocking on his door, I had no idea what I was going to tell him, but something made me decide just before he opened the door. I know that if I forgave him, I could be risking lots of things, and in the process I could get hurt again, but I trusted your word. I didn't think you said he had changed just because, so I just believed you.
"Plus, if I decided not to forgive him, I would have spent a lot of time without you guys, because you would have decided to spend time with him too. And, I don't know, it's a mixture of many things I can't really explain, all I know is that so far I'm happy about my decision"
"You are?"
Monica nodded "Very happy"
You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
I sang Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man
My brothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something
So we did
Forgiven, © Alanis Morissette.
To Be Continued...
And that's it for part 3. I hope you liked it and I will probably have the next part in a few days. Please review.
Chapter 3: Forgiven?
*- Here comes the third part. Thanks for all the reviews, I'm very thankful for them :) And it's official, tomorrow is my last day of school, no more school for the next 2 months and 3 weeks. Couldn't be happier. Welcome summer vacation!
Catnamedzane: I know you didn't mean to "hurt my feelings" and you didn't. I know it was just a comment trying to help, and that's how I took it, I was just explaining why the mistakes in my writing :)
Disclaimer: Same. Not mine nor yours, but theirs.
Ok, so here starts part 3, enjoy and please review -*
A few days later Monica gathered the courage to go and talk to Chandler and tell him everything she wanted to say. She had called Ross in the morning to ask for Chandler's address and now that it was 5:30pm, she was going over there to let everything out.
She walked down the New York streets, deciding to walk since the building wasn't too far away. She looked at the people walking around her, seeing happy people everywhere. How could they be so happy? She wished she felt the same way. Well, it wasn't like she was depressed, but she could be happier if she had someone beside her, not only friendly-wise.
She sighed as she entered Chandler's building, prepearing herself for what was coming, whatever that was.
As she took the elevator towards the 11th floor, she pondered wether to forgive him or not. In her head she went over all the consequences, good or bad, her decision could bring.
As she knocked the door to his apartment she made her final decision. She was going to do what seemed the best for both of them.
When Chandler heard the knock, he got up and went over to open the door, wondering who could be on the other side. When he discovered it was Monica, he looked surprised.
"Hey" Chandler said, his voice telling Monica he was wondering what she was doing there.
"You hurt me" she said simply.
"I--"
"No, let me finish" she interrupted him "When you said that about me, it hurt me a lot. I was very young, vulnerable and looking for someone. I thought... I thought that someone could be you. You looked like a very nice guy and were very funny too, and I immediately felt attracted to you.
"When I entered the kitchen - right before you called me fat - I was going there to talk to you, to try and start a conversation, but when I heard that every hope I had went to hell.
"I know I shouldn't blame you, I was, afterall, fat... but I guess I expected too much from you"
"No you didn't" Chandler interrupted her "I shouldn't have called you that, I should have been mature enough to look past that, but I just didn't" he explained, as they both stood in the entrance of his apartment.
"I know" Monica said "I know you didn't and that's... that's fine"
"It is?" he asked.
"Yeah. I guess I've been overreacting a lot lately when it comes to that. It really hurt me a lot and everything, but I suppose you have changed since then"
"And I have"
"And that's why I've decided to forgive you. This doesn't mean I will let this go completely, I guess I will never forget that, but I won't keep throwing it to your face, we all do things we regret, in case you regret this"
"Of course I do, I never meant to hurt you"
"I hope you didn't. And I hope you don't do it again, Chandler, because this is a chance I'm giving you, and if you ever screw it up again, then no more chances"
"Thanks, Mon. Thanks for giving me that chance, and I promise I won't hurt you... not on purpose at least"
"I guess I've been like this" Monica kept explaining as she now entered his apartment and sat down on the couch "because it brought back so many memories. While I was coming here I saw so many couples, and it made me just wish I had that special someone too, y'know? And when you came back, I remembered all those past years, the ones I decided to put at the back of my head, because the only memories I've got is of people laughing at me because of my weight, of guys rejecting me because of my weight. Of no one liking me because of my weight" Monica said sadly.
"But that's all over now, right?" Chandler asked "I mean, you are beautiful now, no one should be making fun of you"
"And they are not, but I'm still alone" Monica replied, not knowing why she was telling all this to Chandler. "And I don't get it" she continued with a sob "I know I'm not wonder woman, I know I'm definitely not the perfect woman, the one every guy dreams of, but-but am I really that bad?" and now she was crying.
Chandler looked at her as she cried, not knowing what to do. Not knowing if he should take her in his arms or just let her cry, not knowing if he was allowed to comfort her. But being allowed or not, he did it anyway, he couldn't really stand seeing anyone - let alone Monica - crying like this. So he wrapped his arms around her.
"Shh, Mon, it's ok, everything will be ok" he said as he rocked her back and forth.
"But... but what if it won't?" she asked between sobs.
"It will, I promise you. Look, I know I don't know much of you, and well, the times we have talked you haven't been that nice to me, but I can see you are a wonderful person. If no one has seen that it's because they are all blind, and they have no idea of what they are missing"
Monica lifted her head, which was resting against his chest, to look at him "Thank you, Chandler"
"Don't need to" he said and smiled.
She wiped away her tears "God, I'm sorry for being such a crying baby" she apologized.
"It's ok, we all are from time to time"
She smiled and stood up "Well, I'm going to go. Thanks for listening"
"No problem. Thanks for giving me another chance"
"It's ok. I think you deserve it"
"So do I" he teased.
"Bye Chandler, I hope to see you soon" she paused "Wow, I never thought I would hear myself saying this to you"
Chandler laughed "Believe me I never thought I was going to hear it coming from you either"
"Bye" she said as she kissed his cheek.
"Bye" Chandler replied and smiled at her. As Monica reached the knob, he said "Oh, and Mon?"
She turned around to look at him "Yeah?"
"Everything will be fine, I promise"
She just smiled and walked out of the apartment.
--
After Monica left his apartment, Chandler just stared at his TV. When he had first seen Monica on the other side of the door he had feared the worse. He thought she was going to tell him to go to hell and leave her alone, but he was happy about the outcome.
He always hoped Monica would find the time to forgive him, after all she was Ross's sister and Rachel's best friend and it would suck if they had to hang out with him without her.
As Monica had explained everything, Chandler understood her anger and hurt. He had always been the center of jokes when it came to his gay father, the only difference between Monica and him was that he could hide it, Monica couldn't. She had been fat and everyone could see it.
While he kept thinking about all this, he realized he was happy about Monica's decision not only because he would get to hang out with all three, but also because he would get the chance to actually get to know her as a person and maybe help her out whenever she needed it, just like he had now.
He relaxed back on the couch, finally paying attention to the TV with a smile on his face.
--
"How did it go? How did it go?" Rachel asked the second Monica crossed the door of their apartment.
"Where?"
"Come on! You know where!"
"How did you know I was going there anyway?"
"Ross told me"
"Ah, nice how I can trust him"
"Well, come on, tell me, how did it go? What did you tell him?"
"Geez, Rach, relax"
"I'm relaxed, just curious" Rachel said.
"Well, I don't know if I want to talk about it now..." Monica teased.
"Aww, come on! You can't leave me here!"
"Fine, fine... I-I forgave him"
Rachel smiled "You did?" Monica nodded. "That's great!"
"Yeah, I think so too"
"So, now you believe me he has changed?"
"Yup. He seems like a great guy indeed"
"What made you forgive him anyway?"
"I don't know... A few seconds before knocking on his door, I had no idea what I was going to tell him, but something made me decide just before he opened the door. I know that if I forgave him, I could be risking lots of things, and in the process I could get hurt again, but I trusted your word. I didn't think you said he had changed just because, so I just believed you.
"Plus, if I decided not to forgive him, I would have spent a lot of time without you guys, because you would have decided to spend time with him too. And, I don't know, it's a mixture of many things I can't really explain, all I know is that so far I'm happy about my decision"
"You are?"
Monica nodded "Very happy"
You know how us Catholic girls can be
We make up for so much time a little too late
I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priests
I'll see you next Sunday
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
I sang Alleluia in the choir
I confessed my darkest deeds to an envious man
My brothers they never went blind for what they did
But I may as well have
In the name of the Father, the Skeptic and the Son
I had one more stupid question
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
What I learned I rejected but I believe again
I will suffer the consequence of this inquisition
If I jump in this fountain, will I be forgiven
We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did
We all had delusions in our head
We all had our minds made up for us
We had to believe in something
So we did
Forgiven, © Alanis Morissette.
To Be Continued...
And that's it for part 3. I hope you liked it and I will probably have the next part in a few days. Please review.