Chapter 4: Old fears
Jesse held her sobbing partner for a few more minutes until he had calmed enough for them to make a move. "Come on we'll go back home," Jesse whispered to James. She wanted to talk to him about what had frightened him so but here was not the place to do that. "Cally I think we should get going" Jesse called to her friend. Meowth had left the girl with the ice cream now and was sitting in James' lap trying to comfort him. It's this damn anniversary thing Jesse thought angrily as Cally came back over accompanied by a guy with blonde hair wearing a pair of green shorts, its got James more upset than he's letting on. I knew this outing was a bad idea I should have been thinking about James and not myself. "We can't go yet," Cally protested. "We've just got here". The guy with her voiced his agreement and kissed her softly on the cheek. Jesse tried to fight the anger inside of her. Cally had known that guy what ten minutes and she was ready to leave James and her and go off with him? "James isn't feeling that great" Jesse hissed clenching her fists. "I want to take him home.now" "Jess chill out" Cally said rolling her eyes. "Look I know this bar down the road from here. They have a spare room upstairs. If he's so sick then take him there to lie down." "Cally!" Meowth spoke up ignoring the look on the blonde guys face. Meowth was used to people being amazed by his ability to talk by now. "Jess says we're going home so we're going home" "Once you get to the bar ask for Mark and tell him you're friends of Cally's" she instructed them. "Tell him what the problem is and he'll let you go upstairs for a bit. I'll be along later" and with that she was gone. "I can't believe her," Jesse hissed turning back to James. "I thought she was our friend?" "Sorry" James sniffed. "I wrecked your day" "Oh sweetheart!" Jesse cried. "This isn't you're fault. Its that bastard Giovanni's!" "Jess lower ya voice" Meowth warned. Mentioning the dead leader of Team Rocket in a public place was not a good idea. Jesse nodded and gathered her and James' things up. "We may as well go to the bar. We can call a cab from there" she said. "Jesse" James said timidly. "I don't think I can walk" Jesse turned to look at him and gasped. The colour had drained from James' face and he was shaking. That must have been some nightmare she thought. "Don't worry" Jesse shoved their bags to Meowth much to the latter's protest. "I'll carry you". Jesse wasn't exactly sure how she was going to manage this. True she used to carry James but that was only for short times. "I'll be ok" James protested weakly. "I just need to lie down". He struggled to stand again and would have fallen down if Jesse hadn't of grabbed his arm. Jesse scooped him up and started walking up the beach ignoring the stares she got from other people. James was heavy but Jesse somehow managed to carry him until they reached the bar. Jesse decided that they better do what Cally told them too. Her 'friend' had obviously gone off with that guy and was not going to be coming back anytime soon. Jesse set James down on one of the bar stools and called for service. A guy in his 40's with a beard and brown hair tied up in a ponytail came to answer her. He was wearing a tatty grey sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. "Yeah?" he asked setting down the glass he had been in the middle of cleaning. "We're looking for Mark" Jesse said. "I'm Mark. What do you want?" he replied. "We're friends of Cally's" Jesse explained. "My boyfriend isn't feeling well and Cally told us to come here"
"You're Jesse and James right?" he asked. "And Meowth" the cat added jumping onto the bar. "Go ahead. The rooms upstairs on the left. You shouldn't miss it" with that he turned away from them and went back to cleaning the glasses. Jesse shook her head thinking how rude Cally's friend was and scooped James up once again. She found the room with no trouble and laid James down in the bed in there. James fell asleep almost immediately and it was only then did Meowth ask Jesse what had happened. "I don't know" she replied pulling the covers over her boyfriend as she spoke. "Nightmare I think. We were sunbathing one minute and next thing I knew he was screaming for someone to get off of him" "Its what today is" Meowth said. "Jim might have being having flash backs in his sleep" The cat then sniffed and curled up into a ball on the floor. "It was all my fault," he said not intending for Jesse to hear but she did. "Meowth what happened was never you're fault!" she cried. "This was all down to Giovanni" "I told Butch and Cassidy!" Meowth shouted jumping up tears in his eyes. "And dey told Giovanni! He would never have known what Jimmy could do if it weren't for me" "Meowth that is rubbish" Jesse snapped. "Butch and Cassidy could have killed you. You couldn't have kept quiet in that amount of pain, no one could" "Look at him" Meowth cried gesturing to James who was whimpering in his sleep. "I did dis to him as much as Giovanni did." "No, no" Jesse said. "Meowth, James would never blame you for this." "Of course he wouldn't" Meowth shouted. "James is too kind to say it out loud but I know he's tinking it" with that Meowth ran from the room. Jesse was about to go after him when James' voice stopped her. "Jesse what's going on?" "Nothing" Jesse said climbing into the bed beside him. "Just get some sleep. I'll be right here in case you have another nightmare ok" James smiled and closed his eyes as Jesse wrapped her arms around him. Jesse sighed as he drifted off again. Everything had been going to so well and now with this anniversary it was all falling apart again.
James' dreams were plagued by nightmares as he slept. Luckily the viewing didn't return but his dreams were full of images, some from the past and some from the present. He saw that day when he was called to the lab and was given the TM future sight. He also saw the day Jesse came to rescue him and how pained she looked when he told her to leave him. There were other images more recent than that. James was looking at the ring he was going to give to Jesse when he asked her to marry him. He imagined asking her but every time something was wrong. The last nightmare before he woke was the most vivid. He and Jesse were sitting in the middle of a beautiful rose garden. James took out the ring and asked her. But before he could hear her reply everything turned dark and a cold wind whistled through the trees. James shivered and wrapped his arms round himself to keep warm. He looked up and Jesse was gone. "Jesse?" James called a feeling of dread over coming him. "Jesse where are you?"
James heard footsteps to his right and turned round. James stumbled backwards searching wildly for Jesse but she wasn't there. He was all alone. 'You cannot hide it from her' James spun round looking for the voice that had spoke those words but all he could see was darkness. 'It will destroy everything. Why do you think Team Rocket had that TM made? To destroy everything and control the world. Nothing good can come out of it. If you are not going to do what was intended then you may as well die now' James took a step away "Who are you?" 'Nothing but a dream. You will know it soon enough. You will learn what you have to know. Your actions of last time will differ yet will bring you back to the same point.' "Leave me alone" James said. "It is over. Giovanni is dead" 'I was not talking about Giovanni'
He woke gasping and choking waking Jesse up in the process. "James?" she cried helping him into a sitting position "What is it?" "Nightmare" James whispered calming down when he felt Jesse holding him. James let Jesse hold him for a few more minutes closing his eyes and clinging to her afraid that if he let her go then she would leave him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jesse asked. "It helps James. I know how real a nightmare can be, especially if it is connected to something that really happened". James did want to tell Jesse what happened more than anything in the world he wanted to confide in her but if he did that then the truth would come out and he would loose her. James was frightened and loosing Jesse would tear him apart. Still, as Jesse brushed the stray locks of hair from his eyes, James was getting torn up inside by lying to her. "Him" James said at last. Jesse nodded and held him tighter knowing that him meant Giovanni. "He won't leave me alone Jesse. He's always going to be there," James cried. This was partly the truth but he still felt terrible and frightened. James knew why he had, had that viewing. He had been thinking about it before he went to sleep. James had it almost a year ago in the hospital. He hadn't understood it at the time. He was pinned down to a table and there were people standing over him one had a needle and were trying to stab him with it. He tried to pull away but he couldn't. As they aimed it at his arm James had snapped out of the viewing. James had wanted to view again at the time to find out more but he had silently promised Jesse that it would be the last time and was determined to keep the promise. At the time he considered that maybe it wasn't a viewing at all but a memory from the time in Giovanni's lab. He must have subconsciously viewed again without intending too. The fatigue James could explain too. He had not done a viewing in so long that even a short one would leave him exhausted. "James he has gone" Jesse whispered rocking James until he felt sleep returning. "I killed him remember? There is no way he can hurt you now and you have to believe it" James nodded before closing his eyes sleep once more returning.
Jesse lay James back down in the bed and went over to the window. "Damn you Giovanni" she hissed softly clenching her fists tightly. James was still afraid that the Boss was out there somewhere and would one day come for him. I wish James had seen me kill Giovanni, Jesse thought I know he believes me that I killed him but if James had seen it with his own eyes then he might be able to put this behind him. I thought we'd done all this Jesse said to herself blinking back her tears. James was fine until this anniversary. He had come to terms with everything and got over it and now its all been brought up again. And Meowth, Jesse knew she had to find the cat and make him see that it was not his fault. Meowth was a close friend and Jesse knew he would never betray them unless the circumstances were severe and what Butch and Cassidy did was terrible. Jesse doubted that she could have kept quiet if they tortured her like that. Meowth was not to blame for everything but Jesse did reason that he could have warned them that Butch and Cassidy knew about the future sight. Meowth had been scared and Jesse hated to admit it but she probably would have shouted at him if he told her straight away. There was no need to blame Meowth now. He had been punished enough that week in the hospital when James was in the coma. Jesse wanted to go after him but there was no need. The door opened and Meowth came back in followed by Cally. Jesse regarded Cally coldly and refused to speak to her. "How is he?" she asked gently. Jesse shrugged and looked over to James. He was sleeping peacefully this time. "Jesse I'm sorry" Meowth said jumping up beside James and curling up next to him. "I shouldn't have thought dat. Jimmy needs us right now. I know dis weren't my fault". "That's ok" Jesse said petting him on the head before turning back to Cally. "When he wakes I want you to take us home" "Sure" Cally said humbly "Jess do you want to go and get a milkshake or something? There's a café down the road." "I have to stay here" Jesse replied coldly. "James might have another nightmare" "Meowth will watch him right?" Cally asked. "Jesse please" Jesse sighed and kissing James once on the forehead she left with her friend. Cally didn't mention this morning until they were in the café. Cally ordered them two strawberry milkshakes but Jesse found she was too upset about what happened to drink hers. "Jesse I'm sorry" Cally started. "I should never have behaved like that. I was being a bitch. You, Jim and the furball are my friends and I should never have abandoned you". Jesse was going to snap at her friend but Cally looked sincere so she just smiled and told her it was ok. "Where's you're new friend?" Jesse asked wondering where the man Cally was with went. "He was a moron" Cally replied taking a sip of her milkshake "He found another girl to piss about with" "Oh" "So what is really going on Jess?" "What do you mean?" Jesse said defensively. "You always do this you and the furball. Every time I try to get close to you guys you clam up. Jim's the only one who will give me an honest answer" "We're not like that," Jesse snapped. "You're doing it again. What are you hiding Jesse?" "Nothing" Jesse insisted. "Something happened when you were in Team Rocket didn't it? Something happened to Jim" "No" Jesse said, "Cally can we just drop this. I told you what happened. We quit because James became ill after a failed mission. You can ask James yourself if you don't believe me" "James won't talk about it" Cally said. "He won't lie to me Jesse. That hurts you know. I hate people lying to me. Jim wants to be honest but you're stopping him" "How dare you!" Jesse shouted catching the attention of several other people in the café. Lowering her voice she added, "Cally I'm sorry you feel that way but Team Rocket taught us to be loyal to no one but the team" Cally sniffed and got up. "Jesse I want to help you" Jesse bit lip. Could she tell Cally what happened? How would James feel about it? Jesse didn't want to loose Cally's friendship. "Wait" she called at last as Cally made to leave. The girl sat back down. "Something did happen in Team Rocket" Jesse said reluctantly. "The rocket Boss used James in one of their experiments. We didn't quit, Meowth told Officer Jenny where to find the HQ so we could save James. The experiment nearly killed him". This was half the truth and Jesse decided that it would be safe to tell Cally this much. "What kind of experiments?" she asked. "They never said" Jesse lied, "But it nearly killed him. We were given police help and were moved to Saffron City. Cally you can't tell anyone you know not even James. It is a year today since it all started and it was bringing up bad memories. James needs a friend right now and he doesn't need anyone bringing it all back up ok? So don't ask him questions that he just can't answer" "I won't" Cally said softly. "And thank you for telling me Jesse. I wasn't trying to be nosey I just want to be you're friend and friends tell each other everything right?" Jesse nodded and they went back to the bar. James was still sleeping when they arrived and Meowth was sitting next to him. "I'll drive you guys back when he wakes" Cally said her old cheerfulness returning now. Jesse took up a chair the other side of James wondering whether she did the right thing by telling Cally half of the truth about what happened.
Jesse held her sobbing partner for a few more minutes until he had calmed enough for them to make a move. "Come on we'll go back home," Jesse whispered to James. She wanted to talk to him about what had frightened him so but here was not the place to do that. "Cally I think we should get going" Jesse called to her friend. Meowth had left the girl with the ice cream now and was sitting in James' lap trying to comfort him. It's this damn anniversary thing Jesse thought angrily as Cally came back over accompanied by a guy with blonde hair wearing a pair of green shorts, its got James more upset than he's letting on. I knew this outing was a bad idea I should have been thinking about James and not myself. "We can't go yet," Cally protested. "We've just got here". The guy with her voiced his agreement and kissed her softly on the cheek. Jesse tried to fight the anger inside of her. Cally had known that guy what ten minutes and she was ready to leave James and her and go off with him? "James isn't feeling that great" Jesse hissed clenching her fists. "I want to take him home.now" "Jess chill out" Cally said rolling her eyes. "Look I know this bar down the road from here. They have a spare room upstairs. If he's so sick then take him there to lie down." "Cally!" Meowth spoke up ignoring the look on the blonde guys face. Meowth was used to people being amazed by his ability to talk by now. "Jess says we're going home so we're going home" "Once you get to the bar ask for Mark and tell him you're friends of Cally's" she instructed them. "Tell him what the problem is and he'll let you go upstairs for a bit. I'll be along later" and with that she was gone. "I can't believe her," Jesse hissed turning back to James. "I thought she was our friend?" "Sorry" James sniffed. "I wrecked your day" "Oh sweetheart!" Jesse cried. "This isn't you're fault. Its that bastard Giovanni's!" "Jess lower ya voice" Meowth warned. Mentioning the dead leader of Team Rocket in a public place was not a good idea. Jesse nodded and gathered her and James' things up. "We may as well go to the bar. We can call a cab from there" she said. "Jesse" James said timidly. "I don't think I can walk" Jesse turned to look at him and gasped. The colour had drained from James' face and he was shaking. That must have been some nightmare she thought. "Don't worry" Jesse shoved their bags to Meowth much to the latter's protest. "I'll carry you". Jesse wasn't exactly sure how she was going to manage this. True she used to carry James but that was only for short times. "I'll be ok" James protested weakly. "I just need to lie down". He struggled to stand again and would have fallen down if Jesse hadn't of grabbed his arm. Jesse scooped him up and started walking up the beach ignoring the stares she got from other people. James was heavy but Jesse somehow managed to carry him until they reached the bar. Jesse decided that they better do what Cally told them too. Her 'friend' had obviously gone off with that guy and was not going to be coming back anytime soon. Jesse set James down on one of the bar stools and called for service. A guy in his 40's with a beard and brown hair tied up in a ponytail came to answer her. He was wearing a tatty grey sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. "Yeah?" he asked setting down the glass he had been in the middle of cleaning. "We're looking for Mark" Jesse said. "I'm Mark. What do you want?" he replied. "We're friends of Cally's" Jesse explained. "My boyfriend isn't feeling well and Cally told us to come here"
"You're Jesse and James right?" he asked. "And Meowth" the cat added jumping onto the bar. "Go ahead. The rooms upstairs on the left. You shouldn't miss it" with that he turned away from them and went back to cleaning the glasses. Jesse shook her head thinking how rude Cally's friend was and scooped James up once again. She found the room with no trouble and laid James down in the bed in there. James fell asleep almost immediately and it was only then did Meowth ask Jesse what had happened. "I don't know" she replied pulling the covers over her boyfriend as she spoke. "Nightmare I think. We were sunbathing one minute and next thing I knew he was screaming for someone to get off of him" "Its what today is" Meowth said. "Jim might have being having flash backs in his sleep" The cat then sniffed and curled up into a ball on the floor. "It was all my fault," he said not intending for Jesse to hear but she did. "Meowth what happened was never you're fault!" she cried. "This was all down to Giovanni" "I told Butch and Cassidy!" Meowth shouted jumping up tears in his eyes. "And dey told Giovanni! He would never have known what Jimmy could do if it weren't for me" "Meowth that is rubbish" Jesse snapped. "Butch and Cassidy could have killed you. You couldn't have kept quiet in that amount of pain, no one could" "Look at him" Meowth cried gesturing to James who was whimpering in his sleep. "I did dis to him as much as Giovanni did." "No, no" Jesse said. "Meowth, James would never blame you for this." "Of course he wouldn't" Meowth shouted. "James is too kind to say it out loud but I know he's tinking it" with that Meowth ran from the room. Jesse was about to go after him when James' voice stopped her. "Jesse what's going on?" "Nothing" Jesse said climbing into the bed beside him. "Just get some sleep. I'll be right here in case you have another nightmare ok" James smiled and closed his eyes as Jesse wrapped her arms around him. Jesse sighed as he drifted off again. Everything had been going to so well and now with this anniversary it was all falling apart again.
James' dreams were plagued by nightmares as he slept. Luckily the viewing didn't return but his dreams were full of images, some from the past and some from the present. He saw that day when he was called to the lab and was given the TM future sight. He also saw the day Jesse came to rescue him and how pained she looked when he told her to leave him. There were other images more recent than that. James was looking at the ring he was going to give to Jesse when he asked her to marry him. He imagined asking her but every time something was wrong. The last nightmare before he woke was the most vivid. He and Jesse were sitting in the middle of a beautiful rose garden. James took out the ring and asked her. But before he could hear her reply everything turned dark and a cold wind whistled through the trees. James shivered and wrapped his arms round himself to keep warm. He looked up and Jesse was gone. "Jesse?" James called a feeling of dread over coming him. "Jesse where are you?"
James heard footsteps to his right and turned round. James stumbled backwards searching wildly for Jesse but she wasn't there. He was all alone. 'You cannot hide it from her' James spun round looking for the voice that had spoke those words but all he could see was darkness. 'It will destroy everything. Why do you think Team Rocket had that TM made? To destroy everything and control the world. Nothing good can come out of it. If you are not going to do what was intended then you may as well die now' James took a step away "Who are you?" 'Nothing but a dream. You will know it soon enough. You will learn what you have to know. Your actions of last time will differ yet will bring you back to the same point.' "Leave me alone" James said. "It is over. Giovanni is dead" 'I was not talking about Giovanni'
He woke gasping and choking waking Jesse up in the process. "James?" she cried helping him into a sitting position "What is it?" "Nightmare" James whispered calming down when he felt Jesse holding him. James let Jesse hold him for a few more minutes closing his eyes and clinging to her afraid that if he let her go then she would leave him. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jesse asked. "It helps James. I know how real a nightmare can be, especially if it is connected to something that really happened". James did want to tell Jesse what happened more than anything in the world he wanted to confide in her but if he did that then the truth would come out and he would loose her. James was frightened and loosing Jesse would tear him apart. Still, as Jesse brushed the stray locks of hair from his eyes, James was getting torn up inside by lying to her. "Him" James said at last. Jesse nodded and held him tighter knowing that him meant Giovanni. "He won't leave me alone Jesse. He's always going to be there," James cried. This was partly the truth but he still felt terrible and frightened. James knew why he had, had that viewing. He had been thinking about it before he went to sleep. James had it almost a year ago in the hospital. He hadn't understood it at the time. He was pinned down to a table and there were people standing over him one had a needle and were trying to stab him with it. He tried to pull away but he couldn't. As they aimed it at his arm James had snapped out of the viewing. James had wanted to view again at the time to find out more but he had silently promised Jesse that it would be the last time and was determined to keep the promise. At the time he considered that maybe it wasn't a viewing at all but a memory from the time in Giovanni's lab. He must have subconsciously viewed again without intending too. The fatigue James could explain too. He had not done a viewing in so long that even a short one would leave him exhausted. "James he has gone" Jesse whispered rocking James until he felt sleep returning. "I killed him remember? There is no way he can hurt you now and you have to believe it" James nodded before closing his eyes sleep once more returning.
Jesse lay James back down in the bed and went over to the window. "Damn you Giovanni" she hissed softly clenching her fists tightly. James was still afraid that the Boss was out there somewhere and would one day come for him. I wish James had seen me kill Giovanni, Jesse thought I know he believes me that I killed him but if James had seen it with his own eyes then he might be able to put this behind him. I thought we'd done all this Jesse said to herself blinking back her tears. James was fine until this anniversary. He had come to terms with everything and got over it and now its all been brought up again. And Meowth, Jesse knew she had to find the cat and make him see that it was not his fault. Meowth was a close friend and Jesse knew he would never betray them unless the circumstances were severe and what Butch and Cassidy did was terrible. Jesse doubted that she could have kept quiet if they tortured her like that. Meowth was not to blame for everything but Jesse did reason that he could have warned them that Butch and Cassidy knew about the future sight. Meowth had been scared and Jesse hated to admit it but she probably would have shouted at him if he told her straight away. There was no need to blame Meowth now. He had been punished enough that week in the hospital when James was in the coma. Jesse wanted to go after him but there was no need. The door opened and Meowth came back in followed by Cally. Jesse regarded Cally coldly and refused to speak to her. "How is he?" she asked gently. Jesse shrugged and looked over to James. He was sleeping peacefully this time. "Jesse I'm sorry" Meowth said jumping up beside James and curling up next to him. "I shouldn't have thought dat. Jimmy needs us right now. I know dis weren't my fault". "That's ok" Jesse said petting him on the head before turning back to Cally. "When he wakes I want you to take us home" "Sure" Cally said humbly "Jess do you want to go and get a milkshake or something? There's a café down the road." "I have to stay here" Jesse replied coldly. "James might have another nightmare" "Meowth will watch him right?" Cally asked. "Jesse please" Jesse sighed and kissing James once on the forehead she left with her friend. Cally didn't mention this morning until they were in the café. Cally ordered them two strawberry milkshakes but Jesse found she was too upset about what happened to drink hers. "Jesse I'm sorry" Cally started. "I should never have behaved like that. I was being a bitch. You, Jim and the furball are my friends and I should never have abandoned you". Jesse was going to snap at her friend but Cally looked sincere so she just smiled and told her it was ok. "Where's you're new friend?" Jesse asked wondering where the man Cally was with went. "He was a moron" Cally replied taking a sip of her milkshake "He found another girl to piss about with" "Oh" "So what is really going on Jess?" "What do you mean?" Jesse said defensively. "You always do this you and the furball. Every time I try to get close to you guys you clam up. Jim's the only one who will give me an honest answer" "We're not like that," Jesse snapped. "You're doing it again. What are you hiding Jesse?" "Nothing" Jesse insisted. "Something happened when you were in Team Rocket didn't it? Something happened to Jim" "No" Jesse said, "Cally can we just drop this. I told you what happened. We quit because James became ill after a failed mission. You can ask James yourself if you don't believe me" "James won't talk about it" Cally said. "He won't lie to me Jesse. That hurts you know. I hate people lying to me. Jim wants to be honest but you're stopping him" "How dare you!" Jesse shouted catching the attention of several other people in the café. Lowering her voice she added, "Cally I'm sorry you feel that way but Team Rocket taught us to be loyal to no one but the team" Cally sniffed and got up. "Jesse I want to help you" Jesse bit lip. Could she tell Cally what happened? How would James feel about it? Jesse didn't want to loose Cally's friendship. "Wait" she called at last as Cally made to leave. The girl sat back down. "Something did happen in Team Rocket" Jesse said reluctantly. "The rocket Boss used James in one of their experiments. We didn't quit, Meowth told Officer Jenny where to find the HQ so we could save James. The experiment nearly killed him". This was half the truth and Jesse decided that it would be safe to tell Cally this much. "What kind of experiments?" she asked. "They never said" Jesse lied, "But it nearly killed him. We were given police help and were moved to Saffron City. Cally you can't tell anyone you know not even James. It is a year today since it all started and it was bringing up bad memories. James needs a friend right now and he doesn't need anyone bringing it all back up ok? So don't ask him questions that he just can't answer" "I won't" Cally said softly. "And thank you for telling me Jesse. I wasn't trying to be nosey I just want to be you're friend and friends tell each other everything right?" Jesse nodded and they went back to the bar. James was still sleeping when they arrived and Meowth was sitting next to him. "I'll drive you guys back when he wakes" Cally said her old cheerfulness returning now. Jesse took up a chair the other side of James wondering whether she did the right thing by telling Cally half of the truth about what happened.