~111 TOW The L.A Christmas~
(Ross, Rachel, and Joey are standing in Rachel and Joey's living room. They are looking at a small "classy" tree.)
Rachel: So what do you think?
Joey: What the hell happened to it?
Ross: Yeah did it burned?
Rachel: No. That is the style. I got it downtown. All the big stars have it.
Ross: All the big stars get divorce. Ok Joey you should finish that sentence.
Rachel: Come on you guys. It's the L.A Christmas. Can we try it this year?
Joey: Ok.
Ross: I guess.
Rachel: Oh great. (She leaves the room.)
Joey: (Crying.) What have she done to Christmas?
Ross: (Starts crying.) I do not know.
(Opening Credits)
(Monica with Baby Joey and Phoebe walks into Ross's house. Ross walks in carrying all the bags.)
Ross: (Puts the bags down.) I cannot believe they upgrade you guys up to first class? How did it happen?
Phoebe: (Starts to cry.) I do not know? I'm just a single mother. (Ross stares at her.) It better when I'm holding baby Joey.
Ross: You allow how to use her baby to get free stuff?
Monica: Well I'm not going to do it. What type of mother do you think I'm?
(Joey and Chandler are in Rachel's study.)
Chandler: Where did you find all this porn?
Joey: I just got lucky I guess. (Rachel walks in.) So Chandler that is how you use the new Works program.
Rachel: Oh my god why is the first thing you two do is look at porn.
Chandler: That like asking why Dogs lick themselves.
Rachel: I have to go do some last minute shopping. Can I trust you two will not allow Jenny to see this stuff?
Joey: Hey has that has never happen, this week?
(Rachel leaves.)
Chandler: Hey you want to go shake the gifts under the tree?
Joey: What you think? I did it twice already.
(They get up but stops and stares at the screen.)
Chandler: How about a half hour.
(Ross is feeding baby Joey as Monica watch.)
Monica: No you holding him wrong.
Ross: What? This is how I hold Ben and Jenny.
Monica: Well I'm shocked they are alive.
(Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: Oh Ross. I best not to hold him at all. Monica freaks at anything.
Monica: What? I do not freak at anything.
Phoebe: Yes you do. Remember last week you chew out your mom.
Ross: You chew out mom?
Monica: Phoebe your saw want she was doing.
Phoebe: She lifted his leg up because she was changing his diaper.
Monica: So is Ben and. (Stares at Ross.) Oh you idiot just give him to me. (Ross hands Baby Joey to him.)
Ross: Ben and Carol are coming over Christmas morning.
Phoebe: Oh I did not get him anything.
Ross: That is ok Pheebes. Hey you can come shopping with me today. I have to pick up something for Rachel.
Monica: What are you getting her?
Ross: Something she has always wanted.
Monica: You mean a sign autograph of Tom Cruise?
Ross: Yep. I had to pull a lot of strings to get it too.
(Joey, Chandler, and Jenny are around the gifts. They are in two piles.)
Joey: Ok. That huge pile is for baby Joey. And this tiny one is for anyone else.
Jenny: (Hugging the big pile.) Mine gifts.
Joey: No Jenny. Those are for the baby.
Jenny: (Points to herself.) Baby. Baby.
Joey: No you a big girl.
Chandler: And big girls get fewer gifts than babies.
Joey: Ok time for your nap. (Picks her up and walks upstairs.)
Chandler: Finally I can have so fun. (Picks up a small box.) This is for me but what is it. (Shakes it.) Perhaps a key for a car.
Joey: (Walking back down.) We really got 100 more gifts for her in the bedroom. That way Santa can sneak in and being them down.
Chandler: So you play Santa?
Joey: No. Santa sneaks in to houses and takes the gifts out of parent's bedrooms and puts the them under the tree. He adds the Christmas sprit to them.
Chandler: Ok. (Confuse.)
Joey: Oh do not tell me you still believe he flies around all night with a big bag of gifts.
Chandler: No they never did. (There is a knock on the door.) I will get that, maybe it the Easter Bunny.
Joey: Know you just talking silly. He never comes out before the spring.
(Chandler answers the door. It is Carol with a few gifts.)
Carol: Hey can you keep Ben gifts her and put them under.(She the "tree".) that stick thing.
Chandler: Sure. Santa will put it them there personally.
(Ross is allowing Ben to hold baby Joey.)
Ben: He is so small.
Ross: (Looking around scared.) Ok Ben let me see him If you Aunt Monica sees. (Monica walks in.)
Monica: Oh how cute. (Takes Baby Joey, he starts to cry.) Ben can you live the room so I can talk to you dad for a minute.
(Ben leaves the room.)
Monica: What the hell are you thinking?
Ross: Oh calm down Monica. He held Emma all the time.
Monica: Yeah but this is my baby.
Ross: That what I tried to tell him. Hey what were Phoebe and you doing?
Monica: Setting up the Christmas skull.
Ross: (Starts running.) I do not want Ben to see any weird stuff like that.
Monica: And you think I'm nuts.
(It is the middle of the night. Rachel is down stairs putting gifts anywhere. Joey starts sleepwalking downstairs.)
Joey: Hey who is making that sound? Is that you Santa?
Rachel: Yes.
Joey: Good. (Opens his eyes.) What the hell? (Starts to cry.)
(It is Christmas day. Everyone is opening his or her gifts. Monica is buried in Baby Joey gifts. Joey is not opening his.)
Carol: What got in to him?
Ross: He is upset at Rachel. He thinks she took all the fun out of it.
Chandler: Yeah. This Christmas does suck.
Phoebe: What? You do not like my mini skull head I gave you. (Hold it up to him.)
Chandler: Well I guess it not all bad. (Rolls his eyes.)
Monica: (Tries to get up but is trap by all the gifts.) Help I'm stuck.
(Rachel walks over to Joey.)
Joey: Go away. You ruin Christmas with your L.A crap.
Rachel: Come on Jo. At least go outback for one of your gifts. It one you have been dreaming in your sleep about.
Joey: We can't do that out there. Besides people is around.
Chandler: Hey looks like I will have use for this new video camera.
Rachel: (Stares at Chandler.) Not that. I promise you are going to love it.
Joey: Ok.
(They walk out back. There is a snow machine with a bunch of snow on the ground.)
Joey: You brought snow from New York.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: Snow Angles.
(They are start jumping in the snow and make snow angles. Monica screams from inside the house.)
Chandler: (Jumps up.) I will save you. (Jumps back down.) But having too much fun.
The End ~112 TOW Jenny's Play Group~ Coming Soon.
(Ross, Rachel, and Joey are standing in Rachel and Joey's living room. They are looking at a small "classy" tree.)
Rachel: So what do you think?
Joey: What the hell happened to it?
Ross: Yeah did it burned?
Rachel: No. That is the style. I got it downtown. All the big stars have it.
Ross: All the big stars get divorce. Ok Joey you should finish that sentence.
Rachel: Come on you guys. It's the L.A Christmas. Can we try it this year?
Joey: Ok.
Ross: I guess.
Rachel: Oh great. (She leaves the room.)
Joey: (Crying.) What have she done to Christmas?
Ross: (Starts crying.) I do not know.
(Opening Credits)
(Monica with Baby Joey and Phoebe walks into Ross's house. Ross walks in carrying all the bags.)
Ross: (Puts the bags down.) I cannot believe they upgrade you guys up to first class? How did it happen?
Phoebe: (Starts to cry.) I do not know? I'm just a single mother. (Ross stares at her.) It better when I'm holding baby Joey.
Ross: You allow how to use her baby to get free stuff?
Monica: Well I'm not going to do it. What type of mother do you think I'm?
(Joey and Chandler are in Rachel's study.)
Chandler: Where did you find all this porn?
Joey: I just got lucky I guess. (Rachel walks in.) So Chandler that is how you use the new Works program.
Rachel: Oh my god why is the first thing you two do is look at porn.
Chandler: That like asking why Dogs lick themselves.
Rachel: I have to go do some last minute shopping. Can I trust you two will not allow Jenny to see this stuff?
Joey: Hey has that has never happen, this week?
(Rachel leaves.)
Chandler: Hey you want to go shake the gifts under the tree?
Joey: What you think? I did it twice already.
(They get up but stops and stares at the screen.)
Chandler: How about a half hour.
(Ross is feeding baby Joey as Monica watch.)
Monica: No you holding him wrong.
Ross: What? This is how I hold Ben and Jenny.
Monica: Well I'm shocked they are alive.
(Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: Oh Ross. I best not to hold him at all. Monica freaks at anything.
Monica: What? I do not freak at anything.
Phoebe: Yes you do. Remember last week you chew out your mom.
Ross: You chew out mom?
Monica: Phoebe your saw want she was doing.
Phoebe: She lifted his leg up because she was changing his diaper.
Monica: So is Ben and. (Stares at Ross.) Oh you idiot just give him to me. (Ross hands Baby Joey to him.)
Ross: Ben and Carol are coming over Christmas morning.
Phoebe: Oh I did not get him anything.
Ross: That is ok Pheebes. Hey you can come shopping with me today. I have to pick up something for Rachel.
Monica: What are you getting her?
Ross: Something she has always wanted.
Monica: You mean a sign autograph of Tom Cruise?
Ross: Yep. I had to pull a lot of strings to get it too.
(Joey, Chandler, and Jenny are around the gifts. They are in two piles.)
Joey: Ok. That huge pile is for baby Joey. And this tiny one is for anyone else.
Jenny: (Hugging the big pile.) Mine gifts.
Joey: No Jenny. Those are for the baby.
Jenny: (Points to herself.) Baby. Baby.
Joey: No you a big girl.
Chandler: And big girls get fewer gifts than babies.
Joey: Ok time for your nap. (Picks her up and walks upstairs.)
Chandler: Finally I can have so fun. (Picks up a small box.) This is for me but what is it. (Shakes it.) Perhaps a key for a car.
Joey: (Walking back down.) We really got 100 more gifts for her in the bedroom. That way Santa can sneak in and being them down.
Chandler: So you play Santa?
Joey: No. Santa sneaks in to houses and takes the gifts out of parent's bedrooms and puts the them under the tree. He adds the Christmas sprit to them.
Chandler: Ok. (Confuse.)
Joey: Oh do not tell me you still believe he flies around all night with a big bag of gifts.
Chandler: No they never did. (There is a knock on the door.) I will get that, maybe it the Easter Bunny.
Joey: Know you just talking silly. He never comes out before the spring.
(Chandler answers the door. It is Carol with a few gifts.)
Carol: Hey can you keep Ben gifts her and put them under.(She the "tree".) that stick thing.
Chandler: Sure. Santa will put it them there personally.
(Ross is allowing Ben to hold baby Joey.)
Ben: He is so small.
Ross: (Looking around scared.) Ok Ben let me see him If you Aunt Monica sees. (Monica walks in.)
Monica: Oh how cute. (Takes Baby Joey, he starts to cry.) Ben can you live the room so I can talk to you dad for a minute.
(Ben leaves the room.)
Monica: What the hell are you thinking?
Ross: Oh calm down Monica. He held Emma all the time.
Monica: Yeah but this is my baby.
Ross: That what I tried to tell him. Hey what were Phoebe and you doing?
Monica: Setting up the Christmas skull.
Ross: (Starts running.) I do not want Ben to see any weird stuff like that.
Monica: And you think I'm nuts.
(It is the middle of the night. Rachel is down stairs putting gifts anywhere. Joey starts sleepwalking downstairs.)
Joey: Hey who is making that sound? Is that you Santa?
Rachel: Yes.
Joey: Good. (Opens his eyes.) What the hell? (Starts to cry.)
(It is Christmas day. Everyone is opening his or her gifts. Monica is buried in Baby Joey gifts. Joey is not opening his.)
Carol: What got in to him?
Ross: He is upset at Rachel. He thinks she took all the fun out of it.
Chandler: Yeah. This Christmas does suck.
Phoebe: What? You do not like my mini skull head I gave you. (Hold it up to him.)
Chandler: Well I guess it not all bad. (Rolls his eyes.)
Monica: (Tries to get up but is trap by all the gifts.) Help I'm stuck.
(Rachel walks over to Joey.)
Joey: Go away. You ruin Christmas with your L.A crap.
Rachel: Come on Jo. At least go outback for one of your gifts. It one you have been dreaming in your sleep about.
Joey: We can't do that out there. Besides people is around.
Chandler: Hey looks like I will have use for this new video camera.
Rachel: (Stares at Chandler.) Not that. I promise you are going to love it.
Joey: Ok.
(They walk out back. There is a snow machine with a bunch of snow on the ground.)
Joey: You brought snow from New York.
Rachel: Yeah.
Ross: Snow Angles.
(They are start jumping in the snow and make snow angles. Monica screams from inside the house.)
Chandler: (Jumps up.) I will save you. (Jumps back down.) But having too much fun.
The End ~112 TOW Jenny's Play Group~ Coming Soon.