~201 TOW Joey's Lost Kid~
(Rachel, Kelly, Joey, and the Boy are still standing there.)
Rachel: What?
Joey: No Emily's Bridesmaid that cannot be true. See I have a low sperm count.
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: Oh yeah. It is Chandler with the low sperm count. But I still do no get how he can be my kid. (Starts laughing.) Oh I get it. It is a Joke. Ross saw you and told him to do this did it he?
Kelly: No. Maybe we should sit down and talk about this.
Joey: Ok. (He sits down on the floor in the airport. The kid does the same.)
Rachel: I think she meant in a chair.
Joey: Sure. (Gets up.) Perhaps inside of the bar.
Kelly: That fine. (Points to Rachel.) Hey. I'm sorry I forgot your name. I mean outside of the witch that ruined the wedding. Maybe you can take Jacob into the duty free shop.
Rachel: Wow I'm upgrade to witch from.
Kelly: No you not. I just did not call you that around him.
Joey: But we can still call Emily the English Bitch who almost force Ross to move away right?
~Opening Credits~
(Ross and Katie are on the airplane. Ross is sleeping and Katie is reading a magazine.)
Katie: Oh my god. (Shakes Ross awake.) Look at this. They have the shoes I just brought for half off.
Ross: You woke me up to point this out. (Lays his head back down.) Let me sleep.
Katie: Fine. (Flips the page.) No! (Shakes him up again.) They are not going to make the sweater in dark green anymore.
Ross: So what. They are still going to make it in 20 different colors. And beside I thought you favorite color was red.
Katie: It is red only with dresses.
Ross: Can you please let me sleep? After all we do not sleep much once we get there.
(Ross lay back down.)
Katie: We don't. (Looks confuse.)
(Joey and Kelly are sitting in a booth inside a bar.)
Joey: So what is this all about? You saw me on TV and think you can hit me up for the money?
Kelly: You on TV?
Joey: Look why don't you just leave before you make yourself look like a bigger fool.
Kelly: Joey this is your kid. He is six years and three months old. (Joey counts back.) I did not have sex with anyone for three months before you. And he looks at you.
Joey: But why didn't you try to contract me?
Kelly: Because I was afraid. I did not know how you would of reaction.
Joey: What do you think I'm? So jerk. (A waiter walks up to them.) Can you see we talking!
Kelly: I don't know. You seem like the type who slept or had lots of one- night stands.
Joey: No. So how long are you going two going to be here in L.A?
Kelly: Just a few days. I have a business meeting to attend.
Joey: Ok. But you have to stay with us.
Kelly: I do not want to do that to you.
Joey: No. Please.
Kelly: Ok.
(Ross and Katie walk are in bed. Katie is sleeping and Ross is trying to the "hug and roll".)
Ross: Come on damn it roll over. (Rolls her over then Rolls back.) That better.
(She rolls back over and hugs him.)
Katie: I use to date a hug and roller.
Ross: (Turns on the light.) But I need my space when I sleep.
Katie: You should of thought about that before you married me.
Ross: Ok let make a deal. When we have sex I will hold you. But no sex means I get space.
Katie: And we had sex tonight.
Ross: Yeah but not since we made the deal so good night. (Turns off the light.)
Katie: (Turn it on.) Honey do you want too? (Rubs his arm.)
Ross: Sleep with space? Yes. Good night. (Turns off the light.)
(Joey and Jacob are playing catch with a football in the backyard. Rachel is watching as Jenny plays in the sandbox.)
Rachel: When is Kelly supposed to be home from her meeting?
Joey: At five o'clock. Man this has been the best week. (Toss the ball to Jacob. He runs and Joey tackles him softy.)
Rachel: Even the week of 75.
Joey: Yes even the week of 75 hours of free porn does not beat this.
Jacob: Daddy I want something to eat?
Joey: Ask nicely son?
Jacob: Please?
Joey: Ok. So another three pizza's for us to share son?
Rachel: Maybe you so feed him something else?
Joey: Ok. So is there anything you in the mode for?
Jacob: An apple. I eat lots of apples.
Joey: Sure thing. (Looks confuse as he walks inside past Rachel.) Would my son eat apples?
Rachel: So Jacob does you have any friends in England?
Jacob: Just the ones who do not call me a bastard.
Rachel: Not too many then.
(Joey walks back outside with Kelly.)
Kelly: Did you guys have fun today?
Joey: Oh yeah. (Hands him his apple.) Show how want I taught you Jacob.
Jacob: How to pee by the bushes.
Joey: No. You already show you sister that. The other thing I taught you.
Jacob: How you doing. (Smiles with a mouth full of apples.)
Kelly: Great. He will be able to get laid anytime he wants.
Joey: That is the point. Anyway tomorrow we are going the baseball game. The NY Mets are in town.
Kelly: (Looks upset.) I guess.
Jacob: Well I have to go the pee pee. (Walks towards the bushes.)
(Ross and Katie are eating dinner at a fancy restaurant.)
Ross: I'm telling you it not right. You should always let a little kid go in front of you in line. I mean you both only had one item.
Katie: But I really wanted the bag of water balloons to throw at you.
Ross: (Stands up. His pants are all wet.) And I can't thank you enough.
Katie: Oh lighting up. You found it funny.
Ross: Yeah. (He signs the bill and hands it to the waiter.) You mind if I keep this pen. It is very nice.
Waiter: I guess since it your honeymoon. Yeah it has very think ink that tuff to get out of stuff.
Ross: Good. (Smiles.)
Katie: So do you want to go back to the room?
Ross: (Stares at the pin.) Oh yeah. Right now.
Katie: That good. It looks like you cuddle up with the pen.
(Rachel looks at another test in the bathroom. It is positive.)
Rachel: Oh my god. (Starts to cry. Kelly knocks on the door.)
Kelly: You ok in there?
Rachel: Yeah. (Hinds the test then opens the door.) You can use the other restroom?
Kelly: Oh that ok. I just wanted to tell you I put Jenny and Jacob down for a nap.
Rachel: Thanks. I'm going to take shower.
Kelly: Ok.
(Later Rachel walks out into the hallway in her room.)
Rachel: Hey Kelly I was wondering do you want to do anything when they go to the game? Kelly?
(Walks into the guestroom. The room is empty expect for a note on the bed. Rachel reads it.)
Rachel: Oh no. (She runs downstairs and Joey walks inside the house.)
Joey: Look at all the Mets gear I got Jacob. (Shows her.) I figure this way the L.A fans will not just chuck stuff at me.
Rachel: Joey I have to tell you something.
Joey: Ok?
Rachel: Kelly and Jacob went back to London.
Joey: Why? Was something wrong? Did they leave they phone number or anything?
Rachel: No.
Joey: But why would she just leave with Jacob like that?
Rachel: I do know. But the good news is I'm pregnant.
Joey: (Stares at her.) Oh. That is great. (They hug both looking sad.)
(Ross is sitting up in bed writing a note as Katie wakes up. She turns away and puts her robe on.)
Katie: Man you were really a huger last night. I mean you even were touching my face. Which was a little weird.
Ross: Oh that is nothing.
(Katie turns around with. Ross has drawn all over her face.)
Ross: (Shakes the pen.) Damn I'm out of ink.
The End ~202 TOW Joey's Trip To London~
(Rachel, Kelly, Joey, and the Boy are still standing there.)
Rachel: What?
Joey: No Emily's Bridesmaid that cannot be true. See I have a low sperm count.
Rachel: Joey!
Joey: Oh yeah. It is Chandler with the low sperm count. But I still do no get how he can be my kid. (Starts laughing.) Oh I get it. It is a Joke. Ross saw you and told him to do this did it he?
Kelly: No. Maybe we should sit down and talk about this.
Joey: Ok. (He sits down on the floor in the airport. The kid does the same.)
Rachel: I think she meant in a chair.
Joey: Sure. (Gets up.) Perhaps inside of the bar.
Kelly: That fine. (Points to Rachel.) Hey. I'm sorry I forgot your name. I mean outside of the witch that ruined the wedding. Maybe you can take Jacob into the duty free shop.
Rachel: Wow I'm upgrade to witch from.
Kelly: No you not. I just did not call you that around him.
Joey: But we can still call Emily the English Bitch who almost force Ross to move away right?
~Opening Credits~
(Ross and Katie are on the airplane. Ross is sleeping and Katie is reading a magazine.)
Katie: Oh my god. (Shakes Ross awake.) Look at this. They have the shoes I just brought for half off.
Ross: You woke me up to point this out. (Lays his head back down.) Let me sleep.
Katie: Fine. (Flips the page.) No! (Shakes him up again.) They are not going to make the sweater in dark green anymore.
Ross: So what. They are still going to make it in 20 different colors. And beside I thought you favorite color was red.
Katie: It is red only with dresses.
Ross: Can you please let me sleep? After all we do not sleep much once we get there.
(Ross lay back down.)
Katie: We don't. (Looks confuse.)
(Joey and Kelly are sitting in a booth inside a bar.)
Joey: So what is this all about? You saw me on TV and think you can hit me up for the money?
Kelly: You on TV?
Joey: Look why don't you just leave before you make yourself look like a bigger fool.
Kelly: Joey this is your kid. He is six years and three months old. (Joey counts back.) I did not have sex with anyone for three months before you. And he looks at you.
Joey: But why didn't you try to contract me?
Kelly: Because I was afraid. I did not know how you would of reaction.
Joey: What do you think I'm? So jerk. (A waiter walks up to them.) Can you see we talking!
Kelly: I don't know. You seem like the type who slept or had lots of one- night stands.
Joey: No. So how long are you going two going to be here in L.A?
Kelly: Just a few days. I have a business meeting to attend.
Joey: Ok. But you have to stay with us.
Kelly: I do not want to do that to you.
Joey: No. Please.
Kelly: Ok.
(Ross and Katie walk are in bed. Katie is sleeping and Ross is trying to the "hug and roll".)
Ross: Come on damn it roll over. (Rolls her over then Rolls back.) That better.
(She rolls back over and hugs him.)
Katie: I use to date a hug and roller.
Ross: (Turns on the light.) But I need my space when I sleep.
Katie: You should of thought about that before you married me.
Ross: Ok let make a deal. When we have sex I will hold you. But no sex means I get space.
Katie: And we had sex tonight.
Ross: Yeah but not since we made the deal so good night. (Turns off the light.)
Katie: (Turn it on.) Honey do you want too? (Rubs his arm.)
Ross: Sleep with space? Yes. Good night. (Turns off the light.)
(Joey and Jacob are playing catch with a football in the backyard. Rachel is watching as Jenny plays in the sandbox.)
Rachel: When is Kelly supposed to be home from her meeting?
Joey: At five o'clock. Man this has been the best week. (Toss the ball to Jacob. He runs and Joey tackles him softy.)
Rachel: Even the week of 75.
Joey: Yes even the week of 75 hours of free porn does not beat this.
Jacob: Daddy I want something to eat?
Joey: Ask nicely son?
Jacob: Please?
Joey: Ok. So another three pizza's for us to share son?
Rachel: Maybe you so feed him something else?
Joey: Ok. So is there anything you in the mode for?
Jacob: An apple. I eat lots of apples.
Joey: Sure thing. (Looks confuse as he walks inside past Rachel.) Would my son eat apples?
Rachel: So Jacob does you have any friends in England?
Jacob: Just the ones who do not call me a bastard.
Rachel: Not too many then.
(Joey walks back outside with Kelly.)
Kelly: Did you guys have fun today?
Joey: Oh yeah. (Hands him his apple.) Show how want I taught you Jacob.
Jacob: How to pee by the bushes.
Joey: No. You already show you sister that. The other thing I taught you.
Jacob: How you doing. (Smiles with a mouth full of apples.)
Kelly: Great. He will be able to get laid anytime he wants.
Joey: That is the point. Anyway tomorrow we are going the baseball game. The NY Mets are in town.
Kelly: (Looks upset.) I guess.
Jacob: Well I have to go the pee pee. (Walks towards the bushes.)
(Ross and Katie are eating dinner at a fancy restaurant.)
Ross: I'm telling you it not right. You should always let a little kid go in front of you in line. I mean you both only had one item.
Katie: But I really wanted the bag of water balloons to throw at you.
Ross: (Stands up. His pants are all wet.) And I can't thank you enough.
Katie: Oh lighting up. You found it funny.
Ross: Yeah. (He signs the bill and hands it to the waiter.) You mind if I keep this pen. It is very nice.
Waiter: I guess since it your honeymoon. Yeah it has very think ink that tuff to get out of stuff.
Ross: Good. (Smiles.)
Katie: So do you want to go back to the room?
Ross: (Stares at the pin.) Oh yeah. Right now.
Katie: That good. It looks like you cuddle up with the pen.
(Rachel looks at another test in the bathroom. It is positive.)
Rachel: Oh my god. (Starts to cry. Kelly knocks on the door.)
Kelly: You ok in there?
Rachel: Yeah. (Hinds the test then opens the door.) You can use the other restroom?
Kelly: Oh that ok. I just wanted to tell you I put Jenny and Jacob down for a nap.
Rachel: Thanks. I'm going to take shower.
Kelly: Ok.
(Later Rachel walks out into the hallway in her room.)
Rachel: Hey Kelly I was wondering do you want to do anything when they go to the game? Kelly?
(Walks into the guestroom. The room is empty expect for a note on the bed. Rachel reads it.)
Rachel: Oh no. (She runs downstairs and Joey walks inside the house.)
Joey: Look at all the Mets gear I got Jacob. (Shows her.) I figure this way the L.A fans will not just chuck stuff at me.
Rachel: Joey I have to tell you something.
Joey: Ok?
Rachel: Kelly and Jacob went back to London.
Joey: Why? Was something wrong? Did they leave they phone number or anything?
Rachel: No.
Joey: But why would she just leave with Jacob like that?
Rachel: I do know. But the good news is I'm pregnant.
Joey: (Stares at her.) Oh. That is great. (They hug both looking sad.)
(Ross is sitting up in bed writing a note as Katie wakes up. She turns away and puts her robe on.)
Katie: Man you were really a huger last night. I mean you even were touching my face. Which was a little weird.
Ross: Oh that is nothing.
(Katie turns around with. Ross has drawn all over her face.)
Ross: (Shakes the pen.) Damn I'm out of ink.
The End ~202 TOW Joey's Trip To London~