~207 TOW The Thanksgiving Meatloaf~
(Joey, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Jenny are standing around the airports.)
Chandler: What time is Jacob plane going to arrive?
Joey: 3:15. Oh there he is now.
Phoebe: Coming out with the cute blond. Nice for a five-year-old.
Joey: That is my boy.
Rachel: The airplane company had someone ride with him.
(Jacob runs into Joey's arm.)
Joey: How was your flight son?
Jacob: Good until I upset the lady sitting next to me.
Ross: How did you upset her?
Jacob: I just ask to use the bathroom.
Rachel: And she got upset?
Jacob: Yeah. She has me how I learn about the mile high club.
(Everyone stares at Joey.)
Chandler: You taught him about the mile high club?
Joey: Hey I was just telling about my first flight over to London. I mean I could not use have sex in the bathroom. I mean I'm not that stupid.
Phoebe: I think you just did stupid.
(Looks at Jacob oh are staring at him.)
Joey: Just ask to use the bathroom next time son.
~Opening Credits~
(Rachel, Joey, and Jacob walk into Monica's place. It is a total mess.)
Joey: We in the right apartment right?
Rachel: I'm not sure. Maybe she moved.
(Monica walks out from baby's Joey room. She looks tired.)
Monica: Oh hi. I just got Joey to sleep. Where is anyone else?
Rachel: Ross, Katie, and Jenny are having dinner with you Mom.
Joey: Yeah and Chandler and Phoebe went for some reason I now know about. Maybe you should get out of the house and join them.
Rachel: We can watch Joey for you.
Monica: Thanks. (Puts on her coat.) It just with anyone coming over here for Thanksgiving dinner it caught up with me.
Joey: Maybe you should clean up first.
Monica: Oh you right. (Walks into the bathroom.) I mean it a lot harder with Joey to get anything ready. I feel like I'm missing something big.
Joey: I'm sure it nothing big.
(The next day the adults are sitting around Monica's table for Thanksgiving dinner with a Meatloaf in the middle. The kids have a smaller table they sitting at.)
Joey: What do you mean you forgot to buy a turkey?
Monica: Hey I told you yesterday I felt I was forgetting something. But you told me to go to dinner so you two can have sex on this table.
(Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, and Katie are stand up.)
Chandler: And you are having us eat off this table?
Monica: It ok. I clean it for two straight hours this morning.
Rachel: How did you know . Never-mind?
Joey: But you guys are missing the big picture. There is no turkey.
Phoebe: I do not eat turkey.
Chandler: Neither do I.
Joey: Or shut up you two. This is Jacob's first Thanksgiving and he is having some turkey. Come on Jacob get your coat.
Rachel: Where you going.
Joey: To find some turkey to eat.
Ross: But Joey you not. (Joey stares at him.) Going without me. I want my turkey to damn it.
(Throws down his napkin and stands up.)
Joey: Anyone else want to join us? (No on answers.) Fine then. Have you Thanksgiving meatloaf.
(Jacob, Joey, and Ross leave.)
Katie: Rachel do you think being their wives we should of join them?
Rachel: I would but this meatloaf is great.
(Joey, Jacob, and Ross are walking down the street.)
Ross: Lets go back to Monica's. We have been looking for a place to eat turkey for three hours.
Jacob: Yeah I tired dad.
Joey: Ok your wimps. Wait that there is a guy over there eating a plate of turkey. Yet go see where he got it.
Ross: Joey he is homeless. He likely got it for the church at the end of the block. (Joey smiles at him.) Oh no we not eating a turkey dinner from a church. It is stealing from the needy on Thanksgiving.
Joey: Your right. We need to look needy. (Walks into ally.) Come with me. Lets dirty up a little bit.
(Jacob and Ross follow him.)
(Everyone else has finish-eating dinner and is sitting around the couch. Monica walks out of baby Joey's room looking tired. She sits down in the chair.)
Rachel: Are you going to get the dishes?
Monica: I just let them set. (Everyone gasps.) I'm just too tired.
Katie: That ok. We can do it for you. (Stands up.)
Phoebe: (Laughing.) Think for yourself Ross's wife number four.
Katie: My name Katie.
Chandler: Please it easier for us this way. Number two do you have Monica's gift for her?
(Rachel stares at Chandler.)
Monica: Oh you guys got me a gift.
Rachel: Yeah it an early Christmas gift. (Hands her an envelope.)
Phoebe: I wanted to go with the DVD player by the way. (Rachel and Chandler stare at her.) I'm just hedging my bets.
(Monica opens it up and reads it.)
Monica: You got me a nanny? Why do you think I'm a bad Mother or something?
Rachel: No.
Chandler: It just you look so tired are the time we figure you can use a little help. It just for a few hours of week.
Monica: Thanks. But you and Phoebe could just help me you know.
Phoebe: I would but I have a life you know.
(Everyone stares at Chandler.)
Chandler: Baby Joey does not like me.
Monica: Oh you guys are right. I can use a little break from time to time. (She looks over at Katie doing the dishes.) No Katie you are doing them all wrong.
(Joey, Jacob, and Ross are in line at a church. They clearly look out of place.)
Ross: We are going to hell for this.
Joey: But at least we be fill with turkey.
(A worker walks up behind Ross.)
Worker: Sorry we only have food left for this much. Anyone behind this guy is out of luck. Sorry.
(Everyone behind Ross starts to leave.)
Ross: We cannot do this. Lets go.
Jacob: Yeah Dad. I like meatloaf.
Joey: (They both stare at him.) Fine. Damn holiday sprit. Lets go have some holiday meatloaf.
(They go to leave but Joey stops.)
Joey: Do you guys want to get some pizza instead?
Jacob: Sure.
Ross: Yeah. Hey I heard about this pizza place that has turkey pizza on Thanksgiving. (They both stare at them.) I should of mention that earlier huh?
(Everyone is at the airport expect for baby Joey.)
Ross: So Monica how do you like Joey's nanny. It was my idea after all.
Monica: Oh she is fine. In fact we are going to see a movie after you guys takeoff.
Phoebe: Yes but we saw Star Wars Episode three six times already.
Chandler: Stop ending. I mean who did not see Skywalker turning into dark Vader?
Monica: Me. And I have not see the movie let. That it we going to so love story instead.
Chandler: But they always suck.
Rachel: Well goodbye you all.
Jacob: Yeah it has been fun.
(Jacob leaves with a lady onto his plane.)
Joey: Can me when you get home so I know you safe. Oh my god I sound some much like a parent.
(Joey, Ross, Rachel, Jenny and Katie walk onto they plane.)
Phoebe: I guess we have to go out there for Christmas huh?
Monica: No way in hell. I want a quite day by myself.
Chandler: Yeah me too.
Phoebe: That is called Saturday night to you.
Chandler: Yeah. But I get to open my own gifts I brought myself.
The End ~208 TOW The Baby's Sex~ coming soon
(Joey, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Jenny are standing around the airports.)
Chandler: What time is Jacob plane going to arrive?
Joey: 3:15. Oh there he is now.
Phoebe: Coming out with the cute blond. Nice for a five-year-old.
Joey: That is my boy.
Rachel: The airplane company had someone ride with him.
(Jacob runs into Joey's arm.)
Joey: How was your flight son?
Jacob: Good until I upset the lady sitting next to me.
Ross: How did you upset her?
Jacob: I just ask to use the bathroom.
Rachel: And she got upset?
Jacob: Yeah. She has me how I learn about the mile high club.
(Everyone stares at Joey.)
Chandler: You taught him about the mile high club?
Joey: Hey I was just telling about my first flight over to London. I mean I could not use have sex in the bathroom. I mean I'm not that stupid.
Phoebe: I think you just did stupid.
(Looks at Jacob oh are staring at him.)
Joey: Just ask to use the bathroom next time son.
~Opening Credits~
(Rachel, Joey, and Jacob walk into Monica's place. It is a total mess.)
Joey: We in the right apartment right?
Rachel: I'm not sure. Maybe she moved.
(Monica walks out from baby's Joey room. She looks tired.)
Monica: Oh hi. I just got Joey to sleep. Where is anyone else?
Rachel: Ross, Katie, and Jenny are having dinner with you Mom.
Joey: Yeah and Chandler and Phoebe went for some reason I now know about. Maybe you should get out of the house and join them.
Rachel: We can watch Joey for you.
Monica: Thanks. (Puts on her coat.) It just with anyone coming over here for Thanksgiving dinner it caught up with me.
Joey: Maybe you should clean up first.
Monica: Oh you right. (Walks into the bathroom.) I mean it a lot harder with Joey to get anything ready. I feel like I'm missing something big.
Joey: I'm sure it nothing big.
(The next day the adults are sitting around Monica's table for Thanksgiving dinner with a Meatloaf in the middle. The kids have a smaller table they sitting at.)
Joey: What do you mean you forgot to buy a turkey?
Monica: Hey I told you yesterday I felt I was forgetting something. But you told me to go to dinner so you two can have sex on this table.
(Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, and Katie are stand up.)
Chandler: And you are having us eat off this table?
Monica: It ok. I clean it for two straight hours this morning.
Rachel: How did you know . Never-mind?
Joey: But you guys are missing the big picture. There is no turkey.
Phoebe: I do not eat turkey.
Chandler: Neither do I.
Joey: Or shut up you two. This is Jacob's first Thanksgiving and he is having some turkey. Come on Jacob get your coat.
Rachel: Where you going.
Joey: To find some turkey to eat.
Ross: But Joey you not. (Joey stares at him.) Going without me. I want my turkey to damn it.
(Throws down his napkin and stands up.)
Joey: Anyone else want to join us? (No on answers.) Fine then. Have you Thanksgiving meatloaf.
(Jacob, Joey, and Ross leave.)
Katie: Rachel do you think being their wives we should of join them?
Rachel: I would but this meatloaf is great.
(Joey, Jacob, and Ross are walking down the street.)
Ross: Lets go back to Monica's. We have been looking for a place to eat turkey for three hours.
Jacob: Yeah I tired dad.
Joey: Ok your wimps. Wait that there is a guy over there eating a plate of turkey. Yet go see where he got it.
Ross: Joey he is homeless. He likely got it for the church at the end of the block. (Joey smiles at him.) Oh no we not eating a turkey dinner from a church. It is stealing from the needy on Thanksgiving.
Joey: Your right. We need to look needy. (Walks into ally.) Come with me. Lets dirty up a little bit.
(Jacob and Ross follow him.)
(Everyone else has finish-eating dinner and is sitting around the couch. Monica walks out of baby Joey's room looking tired. She sits down in the chair.)
Rachel: Are you going to get the dishes?
Monica: I just let them set. (Everyone gasps.) I'm just too tired.
Katie: That ok. We can do it for you. (Stands up.)
Phoebe: (Laughing.) Think for yourself Ross's wife number four.
Katie: My name Katie.
Chandler: Please it easier for us this way. Number two do you have Monica's gift for her?
(Rachel stares at Chandler.)
Monica: Oh you guys got me a gift.
Rachel: Yeah it an early Christmas gift. (Hands her an envelope.)
Phoebe: I wanted to go with the DVD player by the way. (Rachel and Chandler stare at her.) I'm just hedging my bets.
(Monica opens it up and reads it.)
Monica: You got me a nanny? Why do you think I'm a bad Mother or something?
Rachel: No.
Chandler: It just you look so tired are the time we figure you can use a little help. It just for a few hours of week.
Monica: Thanks. But you and Phoebe could just help me you know.
Phoebe: I would but I have a life you know.
(Everyone stares at Chandler.)
Chandler: Baby Joey does not like me.
Monica: Oh you guys are right. I can use a little break from time to time. (She looks over at Katie doing the dishes.) No Katie you are doing them all wrong.
(Joey, Jacob, and Ross are in line at a church. They clearly look out of place.)
Ross: We are going to hell for this.
Joey: But at least we be fill with turkey.
(A worker walks up behind Ross.)
Worker: Sorry we only have food left for this much. Anyone behind this guy is out of luck. Sorry.
(Everyone behind Ross starts to leave.)
Ross: We cannot do this. Lets go.
Jacob: Yeah Dad. I like meatloaf.
Joey: (They both stare at him.) Fine. Damn holiday sprit. Lets go have some holiday meatloaf.
(They go to leave but Joey stops.)
Joey: Do you guys want to get some pizza instead?
Jacob: Sure.
Ross: Yeah. Hey I heard about this pizza place that has turkey pizza on Thanksgiving. (They both stare at them.) I should of mention that earlier huh?
(Everyone is at the airport expect for baby Joey.)
Ross: So Monica how do you like Joey's nanny. It was my idea after all.
Monica: Oh she is fine. In fact we are going to see a movie after you guys takeoff.
Phoebe: Yes but we saw Star Wars Episode three six times already.
Chandler: Stop ending. I mean who did not see Skywalker turning into dark Vader?
Monica: Me. And I have not see the movie let. That it we going to so love story instead.
Chandler: But they always suck.
Rachel: Well goodbye you all.
Jacob: Yeah it has been fun.
(Jacob leaves with a lady onto his plane.)
Joey: Can me when you get home so I know you safe. Oh my god I sound some much like a parent.
(Joey, Ross, Rachel, Jenny and Katie walk onto they plane.)
Phoebe: I guess we have to go out there for Christmas huh?
Monica: No way in hell. I want a quite day by myself.
Chandler: Yeah me too.
Phoebe: That is called Saturday night to you.
Chandler: Yeah. But I get to open my own gifts I brought myself.
The End ~208 TOW The Baby's Sex~ coming soon