ARCHIVE: With permission
By Valjean
Cold Blood
A red haired girl was standing beside the cot where Alec lay. Frozen with surprise, she stared at the two people in the doorway.
"Alec!" Max cried, but Lydecker's grip on her arm held her back. His keen eyes, unclouded by emotion, had seen what she'd missed -- the small derringer the girl was holding in her hand.
Lydecker drew his weapon, but the girl was quicker. Falling to her knees on the floor beside the cot, she brutally twisted her fist in Alec's hair and jabbed the barrel of her miniature gun behind his ear. Alec, eyes half closed, his breathing ragged, made a small sound of pain, but other than that barely moved.
"One step closer and I pull the trigger," she said coldly. "This toy may not have much firepower, but I guarantee you it's enough to drill a hole through his fucking transgenic brain."
"Why are you doing this to him?" Max asked evenly. "Who are you?"
"Who are you?" the young woman shot back in return. She smiled an ugly smile. "Let me guess. Unit mate? Partner? Girlfriend maybe? His whore? You look like the type he'd fuck. Definitely another transgenic." She studied Lydecker. "And you must be the big Manticore boss -- the CO -- come to rescue your precious soldier boy."
"What do you know about transgenics?" Lydecker asked quietly, the gun in his hand not wavering.
"Lots," she said. "You might say I've made a study of them over the past few years."
"Why?" Max asked.
"Because a transgenic murdered my brother."
"So now you want to murder Alec in return just because he's a transgenic?"
The girl looked down at the the man she had at her mercy. "Alec? Is that what 494 calls himself now? He used to go by another name -- the name he stole from Simon. How long did it take you to teach this animal to play the piano anyway?"
Lydecker's sharp intake of breath told volumes. Max looked at him. "You know what she's talking about?"
He nodded. "Simon Lehane," he said, speaking to the demented girl, his voice emotionless. "You must be Marissa. We knew he had a younger sister, his only family."
Marissa didn't look up, keeping her finger on the trigger of the little gun that in a fraction of a second could end Alec's life. "Simon was my brother," she said, her voice clouding with tears. "And this fucking bastard killed him for nothing." She raised her eyes. "How could you have created monsters like this? Creatures without souls who destroy the loved ones of others. Oh, he probably thought I'd never know who he was, but I had a little talk with Robert Berrisford. He told me about Manticore, about the X5 who'd masqueraded as Simon. Even showed me a picture he'd taken from a videotape. This son of a bitch sneaked up behind my brother, wrapped a wire around his neck, and--"
"Stop!" Max said loudly. "You're wrong! Alec's not a killer! He could never have--" She stopped speaking, suddenly noticing the expression on Lydecker's face.
The older man was looking intently at Marissa, his eyes infinitely sad. "Don't blame 494," he said quietly. "He was just a soldier following orders. If you want the man who really murdered your brother, then blame me. I'm the one who gave the command. I'm the one who ordered X5-494 to assassinate Simon Lehane."
Confused, Marissa wavered, looking from the barely conscious transgenic lying on the cot to the Manticore commander. "Fine," she finally said. "Then I'll just have to kill both--"
The deafening sound of the gunshot cut Marissa's words off in mid sentence. Her eyes wide with shock, she looked down to see a crimson stain blossoming across the front of her prison issue dress.
"I'm sorry," Lydecker whispered, the gun smoking in his hand. "I truly am sorry. But my kids are what they are, and I have to protect them."
*****
"He killed her, didn't he?"
"Yes," Max said, knowing there was no use denying the fact to Alec. He'd been there afterall, although not coherent.
He turned his head away from her on the pillow, cradling his face on his hands. "You should have let her shoot me. I deserved it for what I did to her brother."
He sounded devastated, much as he'd been when confronted by Robert Berrisford over what he'd done to Rachel. For a moment Max hesitated, almost believing the act. But that's exactly what it was -- an elaborate act. Alec was an expert liar, a skilled con artist, and a near genius when it came to influencing the emotions of those around him. It was his greatest strength in a way, his ability to manipulate people ... manipulate her.
Oh, undoubtedly he felt bad about Marissa ... about Simon too, but in the back of her mind Max still remembered something Alec had said to her so long ago back at Manticore, when she'd first met him and accused him of being an assassin.
It was my job.
And she also remembered something he'd said to her in a police station interrogation room.
Do you really think I could kill someone in cold blood?
She'd told him at the time that she thought him capable of that very thing. She'd meant it, and she'd been right. Alec had killed in cold blood. He'd killed Simon Lehane, viciously garroting him and stealing his identity.
You did what you had to in order to survive. Then you tried to forget. And when you couldn't forget, they had ways of making you not care.
Alec had cared about Rachel and his guilt over her death had nearly destroyed him. He couldn't allow himself to care that way about Simon Lehane, or about Marissa either. If he did he'd go insane. So instead, he kept a barrier firmly in place in his mind, a shield around his conscience, a wall of excuses that began and ended with the words "It was my job."
It was the only way out for Alec, the only way he could live with himself .
Max knew this. She knew there was a limit to her man's ability to forgive his own transgressions. If she pushed him, if she tried to make him feel more guilty than he already did, she might end up forcing him somewhere he could never return from -- the place where his brother Ben had gone.
The old Max, the one who existed before X5-494 came into her life, would have spitefully harassed him over the edge. But the Max who now loved this man was willing to let it go.
"Shhh," she said, wrapping her arms around Alec's still trembling body. "It's all right. I know what you did, and why you did it. I know you had no choice. You don't have to pretend with me, Alec. You don't have to lie. It was your job. You had orders. If you hadn't killed him, they would have killed you. And you were so young you didn't know any other way."
He turned his head, looking at her over his shoulder, disbelief in his hazel-green eyes. "You understand?"
"I understand."
"You know why his death doesn't bother me like Rachel's, even though it probably should? That doesn't make me evil? Or like Ben?"
"It doesn't make you evil," Max said, kissing him tenderly on the cheek. "It makes you sane."
*****
It had been comically easy for them to get Alec out of jail. Logan had provided fake CDC credentials for Lydecker. All the older man had to do was flash his I.D., mutter something about a transgenic in the prison being a biohazard, and the guards had gladly waved them on their way, going so far as to help carry the "filth" to Lydecker's car.
Marissa's death, sadly, had meant nothing to anyone. The evidence was clear. She'd had a concealed weapon and she'd tried to murder a public official who'd been forced to shoot her in self defense. End of story.
Ironically, the Rohypnol Marissa gave him had been Alec's salvation, or so Lydecker believed -- the powerful sedative preventing the seizures from fatally escalating -- the girl's final act on Earth saving the very life she so badly wanted to destroy.
Now, 24 hours and two dozen tryptophan tablet later, Alec was sitting on the side of the bed and pulling on his boots, weak but once more in control of his body. Their plane was leaving from Vancouver that evening and it was time to get going. A sound in the doorway made him look up.
"You're not happy about me coming to Chimera, are you?" Logan said.
"Not deliriously, no," Alec replied. He narrowed his eyes at the older man. "You know, there was a time we weren't like this, Logan. You and me. There was a time we were almost friends."
"And you wonder what happened?"
"Sometimes. I mean, I know you think I stole your girl and all, but I'm not a bad guy, Logan, and you aren't either -- or at least you didn't used to be. And we do have one really important thing in common."
"Max."
"Max." Alec agreed. "We both love her. We'd both die to protect her. Seems to me we ought to be on the same side."
There, Alec thought. He'd done it. He'd offered an olive branch.
Logan looked into the hallway behind him, making certain no one was there to overhear. Then he smiled and softly said, "Nice try, Alec. Okay then. For Max's sake we can be friends ... at least until you die." And with those ominous words, he turned around and walked away.
Alec sighed heavily and looked at the floor.
"You did try," Lydecker said from the alcove across the room where he'd been standing and listening. He looked in the direction where Logan Cale had gone. "Do you think he means it?"
Alec raised an eyebrow.
"I'm serious," Lydecker said. "Use your senses the way you were taught, soldier. Is Cale a true enemy, or is he all talk?"
"On a practical level he's all talk," Alec said. "The only way he'd really try to kill me would be through some kind of inaction, and only then if he could make it look like it was an accident or at the very least not his fault."
Lydecker nodded. "That's your trained assessment and it's a good one. I agree. However, what's your gut feeling?"
"You mean empathic?" Alec smiled a little. "That thing the psi-ops people said I wasn't supposed to be able to do because it's not in my data base, but that I can do because Sandeman did some tampering with their science projects behind their backs?"
"Ah yes, creating an empathic assassin was such a brilliant move on the old geezer's part," Lydecker said sarcastically. "Feeling the pain of your targets is oh so very useful."
"Tell me about it."
"But getting back to Cale?"
Alec raised his eyes to his former CO's. "Logan hates me so much it hurts to be in the same room with him, and someday I will have to kill him."
There is one upcoming chapter in this story that might not be acceptable for fanfiction.net's new guidelines. Anyone who wants to read "The Best Laid Plans 2: Death and Life" in its entirety as I write the story is invited to my website: http://www.michaeleaston.com/DA/DAfanfic.html. I also have a number of other DARK ANGEL M/A fanfiction stories there that I've not made available on ff.net as of yet. I even keep an email list of interested readers whom I notify when I post new work on the site.
Also, I'd like to encourage all M/A DARK ANGEL fans to read Max Collins' official prequel novel BEFORE THE DAWN. True, Alec isn't in the story (yet), but there's lots of canon background material in the book that would be pertinent to Alec later on. Plus, Mr. Collins says that Alec and Joshua will be "centerstage" in the DARK ANGEL sequel novel SKIN GAME coming out next February. -- author's note