Let me just start by saying to you all that you don't know what the meaning
of the word "nerd" is until you go to the premiere of a movie dressed up in
a costume.
I however do know the word. I am the word.
The day was of course December 18th, The Time was Midnight, The film was The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers.
Now let me state the fact that I have never read the book, so logically there was no way that I could be a big enough loser to dress up for the premiere, correct?
You would be very very wrong. But do not worry friends, I wasn't alone.
The group of us (or as I like to call it, The Fellowship. hehehe. ummm..yeah) were Me, Sean Catlett, His Brother, Bryan and Steve "Doctor Santoro" Taylor.
Together we hatched a plan of pure brilliance. Of pure dedication, of pure.. Idiocy.
We were all going to go as characters from the Lord of the Rings!!!!
I, being the smart intelligent one that I am, was elected to be Gandalf, The all mighty wizard. Sean, the great leader that he is, was named Frodo. The dark and powerful Bryan was formed into the terror that is a ring wrath. While Steve, since he is so damn tall, logically, he was Gimli.
Together the Nine of. I mean four of us traveled deep into the heart of Mordor.. I mean Pacific Theatres.
Oh, before we go any further, We didn't realize it was the 18th until that very day, so its not like we had this planned long in advance, we were like.
"Hey guys, The Two Towers comes out tonight at midnight!"
and then they said
"Wow, lets go see it!"
so I said
"Lets dress up like the characters!"
and they were like
"No, that's stupid"
So we did!
I took my Santa Beard and put it on, then Went to my friend Keri's House and stole, I mean borrowed her Witches hat, then from Sean I got a long Stick to use as my staff, and after completely disregarding the rest of my clothing, was ready to see the film as Gandalf, The Grey.
Sean had a simple enough costume, Barefoot, School ring around a chain, and Presto, the almighty Hobbit was born.
Bryan was the hard one, decked out in pure black, from head to toe, then we spent an hour looking for a black mask for his face. I was all worried we wouldn't make it to the show on time, or that it would be sold out, but still, he continued to search on and on, until eventually he found the mask that made him the Ring Wrath.
Steve. He wore a cape with cat ears on it... Gimli.
So we picked up my video Camera, and attempted to make a little movie about our crazy adventures with the Lord of The Rings.
Well of course we had a camera, what possible good would dressing up and going to the premiere of The Two Towers be if we didn't film it? Would we be idiots simply for the sake of being idiots?
Of Course not! We were going to be remembered for our Idiocy this night, for we were going to make the greatest loser movie premiere film ever created.
...
That was of course, if my camera had worked.
With a tape lodged midway between open position and closed, we could not record even a minute of our crazy antics.
Not my hilarious beard, or Sean's Hilarious Bare feet, or Bryan's Hilarious death threats, or Steve's Hilarious Dumbness.
It was all a waste without the Camera.
So we of course left our costumes in the car and went to the show dressed in our normal every day attire and saw the movie like a normal human being.
Yeah Right!
Like the pimps we are, we strut in, costumes on, mimicking our characters as best we can, and we go up to the ticket counter and we make ourselves known!
"Ummm... can we get four for Harry Potter?"
"Woops, I mean, The Lord of the Rings. Hehehehe."
Good one, I was mentally High-Fiving myself at that point, I was so amused.
The tickets came out to us. One, Two, Three, Four
We had them, we were ready to go stand in line with all the other losers who of course dressed up.... like... us...
Not a costume in the house. No Gimlis, No Aragorns, No Sarumans, No Arwins, No Galdalfs, No Frodos, No Gollums, No Samwises, No Pippins, No Ents, No Borimers, No Merrys, No Sarons, No King Theodens, No Legolas, No Nobody.
I was in a theatre with a bunch of Losers!!!
All of them staring at the four idiots dressed like the characters they were about to see.
There we stood, with the perils of the masses in front of us, with the all seeing Eye staring back at us, thinking us Geeks. Idiots, weirdoes, Nerds.
It didn't faze me, I stood proud, beard planted firmly on my face (or as firmly as an elastic band will hold) and my bent up hat on my head, and my stick in my hand, I was not going to sissy out, I was not going to take off my costume for the sake of image, reputation and outside opinion.
Sean held out too, his feet were proudly bare for all those around him to see. He did not falter. He stood Strong before his peers.
Bryan took his mask off a few times, but only to smoke a cigarette or because he wanted to take it off or whatever, I didn't think about it because I was afraid of him hurting me.
Steve however, took off his costume completely. Albeit, he looked nothing like any character in the series, but still, he should have stayed in his attire for the good of the fellowship, but no! The power of the ring took over and we lost him to the side of pussiness.
We waited in the massive line until finally with not but a few minutes to spare, they let us in.
Remember the waiting for Bryan to find the mask earlier? And the attempt to make a movie before hand? And all that other stuff we had to do first? Well, those things are the reason we were in the back of the line and not the front. As well, those are the reasons we sat in the front row.
Not to worry! We wanted it that way, we wanted the experience to be full on, unending, undeniable, massive, momentous, and eye-smashingly big!
The screen was no more than a few feet away, and even a powerful wizard such as myself could not help but squint at some of the awesome power that was the screen.
The Four of us, along with another little friend that Bryan ran into in the theatre, we watched the film in all its glory.
I can speak not for any other man, but I found it quite great.
Quite great I found it in deed.
A few poor CGI scenes but considering the pacing of the scene, they were more than forgivable. Some flaws here and there, but all in all, I loved it. I loved it more than even the original.
I walked out of that theatre having been most definitely entertained. Gollum rocked, The Ents were cool and Helms Deep was a fun show. It made dressing up like a fool, seem like a good thing, like.. A noble thing, like.. the Only thing.
I went home, still dressed as Galdalf, with Steve, still not dressed as Gimli and slept quite well, remembering the fun I had, the stupid geeky laughs we shared, and the horrible feeling of being head-butted by Bryan for no apparent reason.
Now, I might hate this behavior in one of my earlier stories, Space Wizards, but you know what? I am not the character from space wizards, in all actuality, I am probably the first one, that character would have shot dead.
At least on that night I was.
But Return of the King is but a year away, Gandalf may return again.
Heck, I still have X-men2, Daredevil, Terminator3, Matrix: Reloaded, Spiderman2 and the third Harry Potter to plan for. Dumbledoor anyone?
Don't worry, until those days come, I will condemn losers and nerds and geeks as scum, and pretend that this day never happened, to keep my reputation in tact, and to make sure, that everyone knows I am cool and keep myself popular.
...but deep down, we all know that I am a geek, and I will, at the next premiere stand proudly as whatever fictional character I choose to be.
As Steve would say, "Everyone is a Hypocrite."
You are damn right, Steve.
I however do know the word. I am the word.
The day was of course December 18th, The Time was Midnight, The film was The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers.
Now let me state the fact that I have never read the book, so logically there was no way that I could be a big enough loser to dress up for the premiere, correct?
You would be very very wrong. But do not worry friends, I wasn't alone.
The group of us (or as I like to call it, The Fellowship. hehehe. ummm..yeah) were Me, Sean Catlett, His Brother, Bryan and Steve "Doctor Santoro" Taylor.
Together we hatched a plan of pure brilliance. Of pure dedication, of pure.. Idiocy.
We were all going to go as characters from the Lord of the Rings!!!!
I, being the smart intelligent one that I am, was elected to be Gandalf, The all mighty wizard. Sean, the great leader that he is, was named Frodo. The dark and powerful Bryan was formed into the terror that is a ring wrath. While Steve, since he is so damn tall, logically, he was Gimli.
Together the Nine of. I mean four of us traveled deep into the heart of Mordor.. I mean Pacific Theatres.
Oh, before we go any further, We didn't realize it was the 18th until that very day, so its not like we had this planned long in advance, we were like.
"Hey guys, The Two Towers comes out tonight at midnight!"
and then they said
"Wow, lets go see it!"
so I said
"Lets dress up like the characters!"
and they were like
"No, that's stupid"
So we did!
I took my Santa Beard and put it on, then Went to my friend Keri's House and stole, I mean borrowed her Witches hat, then from Sean I got a long Stick to use as my staff, and after completely disregarding the rest of my clothing, was ready to see the film as Gandalf, The Grey.
Sean had a simple enough costume, Barefoot, School ring around a chain, and Presto, the almighty Hobbit was born.
Bryan was the hard one, decked out in pure black, from head to toe, then we spent an hour looking for a black mask for his face. I was all worried we wouldn't make it to the show on time, or that it would be sold out, but still, he continued to search on and on, until eventually he found the mask that made him the Ring Wrath.
Steve. He wore a cape with cat ears on it... Gimli.
So we picked up my video Camera, and attempted to make a little movie about our crazy adventures with the Lord of The Rings.
Well of course we had a camera, what possible good would dressing up and going to the premiere of The Two Towers be if we didn't film it? Would we be idiots simply for the sake of being idiots?
Of Course not! We were going to be remembered for our Idiocy this night, for we were going to make the greatest loser movie premiere film ever created.
...
That was of course, if my camera had worked.
With a tape lodged midway between open position and closed, we could not record even a minute of our crazy antics.
Not my hilarious beard, or Sean's Hilarious Bare feet, or Bryan's Hilarious death threats, or Steve's Hilarious Dumbness.
It was all a waste without the Camera.
So we of course left our costumes in the car and went to the show dressed in our normal every day attire and saw the movie like a normal human being.
Yeah Right!
Like the pimps we are, we strut in, costumes on, mimicking our characters as best we can, and we go up to the ticket counter and we make ourselves known!
"Ummm... can we get four for Harry Potter?"
"Woops, I mean, The Lord of the Rings. Hehehehe."
Good one, I was mentally High-Fiving myself at that point, I was so amused.
The tickets came out to us. One, Two, Three, Four
We had them, we were ready to go stand in line with all the other losers who of course dressed up.... like... us...
Not a costume in the house. No Gimlis, No Aragorns, No Sarumans, No Arwins, No Galdalfs, No Frodos, No Gollums, No Samwises, No Pippins, No Ents, No Borimers, No Merrys, No Sarons, No King Theodens, No Legolas, No Nobody.
I was in a theatre with a bunch of Losers!!!
All of them staring at the four idiots dressed like the characters they were about to see.
There we stood, with the perils of the masses in front of us, with the all seeing Eye staring back at us, thinking us Geeks. Idiots, weirdoes, Nerds.
It didn't faze me, I stood proud, beard planted firmly on my face (or as firmly as an elastic band will hold) and my bent up hat on my head, and my stick in my hand, I was not going to sissy out, I was not going to take off my costume for the sake of image, reputation and outside opinion.
Sean held out too, his feet were proudly bare for all those around him to see. He did not falter. He stood Strong before his peers.
Bryan took his mask off a few times, but only to smoke a cigarette or because he wanted to take it off or whatever, I didn't think about it because I was afraid of him hurting me.
Steve however, took off his costume completely. Albeit, he looked nothing like any character in the series, but still, he should have stayed in his attire for the good of the fellowship, but no! The power of the ring took over and we lost him to the side of pussiness.
We waited in the massive line until finally with not but a few minutes to spare, they let us in.
Remember the waiting for Bryan to find the mask earlier? And the attempt to make a movie before hand? And all that other stuff we had to do first? Well, those things are the reason we were in the back of the line and not the front. As well, those are the reasons we sat in the front row.
Not to worry! We wanted it that way, we wanted the experience to be full on, unending, undeniable, massive, momentous, and eye-smashingly big!
The screen was no more than a few feet away, and even a powerful wizard such as myself could not help but squint at some of the awesome power that was the screen.
The Four of us, along with another little friend that Bryan ran into in the theatre, we watched the film in all its glory.
I can speak not for any other man, but I found it quite great.
Quite great I found it in deed.
A few poor CGI scenes but considering the pacing of the scene, they were more than forgivable. Some flaws here and there, but all in all, I loved it. I loved it more than even the original.
I walked out of that theatre having been most definitely entertained. Gollum rocked, The Ents were cool and Helms Deep was a fun show. It made dressing up like a fool, seem like a good thing, like.. A noble thing, like.. the Only thing.
I went home, still dressed as Galdalf, with Steve, still not dressed as Gimli and slept quite well, remembering the fun I had, the stupid geeky laughs we shared, and the horrible feeling of being head-butted by Bryan for no apparent reason.
Now, I might hate this behavior in one of my earlier stories, Space Wizards, but you know what? I am not the character from space wizards, in all actuality, I am probably the first one, that character would have shot dead.
At least on that night I was.
But Return of the King is but a year away, Gandalf may return again.
Heck, I still have X-men2, Daredevil, Terminator3, Matrix: Reloaded, Spiderman2 and the third Harry Potter to plan for. Dumbledoor anyone?
Don't worry, until those days come, I will condemn losers and nerds and geeks as scum, and pretend that this day never happened, to keep my reputation in tact, and to make sure, that everyone knows I am cool and keep myself popular.
...but deep down, we all know that I am a geek, and I will, at the next premiere stand proudly as whatever fictional character I choose to be.
As Steve would say, "Everyone is a Hypocrite."
You are damn right, Steve.