Mewtwo's Revenge!!!
By Princess Esther of Hyrule
Princess Esther of Hyrule: Yay! Me next insane chappie!! Now...the thing we all LOVE to hate...the disclaimer!!
Audience: BOOOO!!!
Peh: Yeah, I know...*grabs Togepi from the crowd* DO ME DISCLAIMER!!
Misty: Hey, you can't take my Togepi!!!
PEH: Shut up, redhead (No offense, redheads. I have nothin' against you, just against Misty!)!! You can have your Togepi back after I'm finished with it, ya' hear?!
Misty: GIVE IT BACK!!
PEH: *sees Togepi sharpening a knife behind its back* Yeah. One second...Togepi?
Togepi: Toge, Togepprriii! Translation: What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?
PEH: Um...yeah, I can. But can you do me disclaimer?
Togepi: Toge! NO!!
PEH: *whispering* I'll take away your knife and sharpening block...
Togepi: Priii!!! Okay, I'll do it! I'll do it!! *Hops onto podium* Toge...Togepriii! Toge, to, ge, prii!!! Prii, Toge, toge!! Togepriii! Ahem...this insane fan Fic author does not own Pokémon or any other insane authors that may be listed. She does, however, own Esther, the Ham-Chat dictionary for the Ham-Chat inept, and this fic and all its contents. Togeprii!! That is all. *goes back to sharpening its knife* To, Togeprii! Oh, and she doesn't own Hamtaro either...
PEH: *sees that Togepi is finished sharpening the blade.* Okay, Misty! You can 'em back now. *Hands Togepi over to Misty*
Misty: Oh thank goodness! Are you hurt?
Togepi: *pulls out knife* Toge, Togepriii! No, but you're about to be!! 8-D
Misty: O_O AHHHHHHHH!!!! *Drops Togepi and runs out of the studio, smacking into Esther, Giovanni, The Crimson Lugia, and Bookgirl2003, who just arrived.*
Giovanni: What th..? *Misty runs by, knocking them all down* Hey, watch it!!
Esther: *gets up, brushing herself off* my, that was strange...*sees the audience
running towards them, away from the steak-knife-wielding Togepi* O_O Oh my...!!
TCL: What?
Bookgirl2003: EVERYBODY RUN FOR COVER!!
*To say the least, however, they didn't make it to cover in time, and were trampled underneath the feet of the frightened crowd. Don't worry, though, they survived! ^_^ (You don't think I would kill off my own character, do you? Or Bookgirl2003, Giovanni, or TCL, for that matter!)*
*The scene...after the carnage...*
Giovanni: *In pain* Owwie...that hurt...*muscle twitches*
TCL: I feel so unwuved...
Esther: Didn't ya' say that in chappie 43 of "All In A Day's Insanity"?
TCL: No, I said "Major owie. I feel so unwuved ;_;." (A/N: Sorry, TCL, for copying that. Please dun hurt me!!)
BG2003: Same thing...Ow....
Esther: *tries to lift head, but is unsuccessful* I wanna go home and lie on the couch and watch some Hamtaro and Liberty's Kids...;_;
Giovanni: O_o Yeah...something like that...bloody egg thingy...
Esther: *whispering* Shush...it's coming over here...play dead.
Giovanni: No good...I already am...ow....that hurts...
*Camera zooms out a bit to reveal the scene: A criminal mastermind, a giant crimson Lugia, a Hylian girl, and a girl in glasses(a.k.a. Bookgirl2003) all sprawled out on the floor, shoe imprints all over their clothes and bodies, all in a good deal of pain. Now imagine Togepi running over there...*
Togepi: *Running over to them* Come back here, you cowards!
TCL: *whispering* Eep...it knows we're alive...we're dead!
Giovanni: *whispering* o_O Make up your mind whether we're alive or dead, TCL...*flinches*
*Instead of trying to kill them, Togepi simply runs over, jumps onto Esther's head, jumps off, and races after the crowd.*
Matthew/ Esther: *In more pain then she already is from having the baby pokémon jump on her head AND being run over by the crowd...* x_x That hurt...Maybe PEH should call this fic,"When Togepis attack" *pulls out cell phone, dials 9-1-1* Hello, dispatcher? Um...yes. My friends and I just got run over by a crowd of people and we need medical attention...
PEH: -_-;;; Too long of a disclaimer...
~THE STORY (FINALLY!!!!)~
*In a deserted part of the Johto region...*
Mewtwo: *standing before a HUGE control panel* MWHAHAHAHAHA!! Finally, I can now exact my revenge on Giovanni for betraying me!! 8-D MWHAHAHAHAHA!!
*Pikatwo (Pikachu clone) walks in*
Pika2: Why don't you take it out on Esther instead?
Mew2: O_o Why would I want to do that?
Pika2: Well, Giovanni and Esther are going out...it'd probably hurt their relationship if you did something to her...
Mew2: O_O You're right!!! Even if she is pretty innocent...it's better than taking out the whole bloody planet...*motions towards button labeled "BLOW UP DA PLANET!!"*
Pika2: Yeah...definitely better than that.
Mew2: Now, I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!! 8-D MWHAHAHAHA!! *Finishes off his drink, then looks at it with disgust*
Pika2: What is it?
Mew2: Why does my scotch taste like Sprite?
Pika2: Umm...^_^;;;; That's 'cause it IS Sprite...
Mew2: O_o
Pika2: Meowth2 drank the rest of the scotch.
Mew2: o_o All of it?
Pika2: Yeah. *points to Meowth2, who is passed out on the floor*
Mew2: Hmm...so he has...oh well! *tosses glass against cave wall* IT IS NOW TIME TO EXACT MY REVENGE UPON ESTHER!! *Presses button labeled "Exact revenge on Esther"*
~~~
*Elsewhere, at Esther's house in Viridian... (Remember, she and Giovanni are NOT married at this point!) *
Esther: *surfing channels while nursing her wounds from the disclaimer* Spammit...I've got a bloody satellite dish, and there's NOTHING on!!
*Knock at the front door*
Esther: Unnhh...*gets up, which is excruciatingly painful* Who is it? Ow...
The Voice: It is I, Essie! (A/N: Just by the format used in talking, you should be able to figure out who "The Voice" is...)
Esther: O_O cuddlebear? (A/N: -_-;;; I had to think up a pet name, and that's the first one that came to mind...^_^;;;)
The Voice: Yeah, it's me.
Esther: O_O Um...one second! Let me get my hair fixed!
The Voice: For Pete's sake, Essie!
Esther: Okay! *walks slowly (and painfully) down stairs* Coming...ow...ow! Ow! Owwie! *opens door*
The Voice = Giovanni: Oh yeah, I forgot...^_^ you're in major pain. Sorry.
Esther: O_o what are you grinning about for? You're supposed to be hurt too!
Giovanni: I went to the doctor, and they said I'm fine. They gave me a prescription for some painkillers, as well.
Esther: O_O Oh! You have painkillers?!
Giovanni: O_o Yeah...why?
Esther: GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!
Giovanni: Hey, calm down! In a bit, in a bit! Let's get you upstairs, first. *Picks her up*
Esther: Giovanni, you're going to hurt yourself even more! Now put me down!
Giovanni: Sorry, no can do. *Heads up the stairs*
Esther: LEMME DOWN!
Giovanni: Calm down! We're already upstairs!
Esther: THEN PUT ME DOWN!
Giovanni: Sheesh...you try to be chivalrous these days, and look how they thank you! *Puts her down on couch*
Esther: Sorry...Now where are those painkillers?!?!
Giovanni: Can't give them to you.
Esther: O_O WHY NOT?!
Giovanni: 'Cause this is a PERSCRIPTION! That means "NO SHARING!"
Esther: Don't you care that I'm in major pain?! ;_;
Giovanni: It's not that...
Esther: ;_; I guess you don't love me anymore...(starts crying)
Giovanni: -_- I'm not falling for it. You'd need a different prescription, and I don't wanna take the chance of you overdosing. And I do love you...*huggles her tightly*
Esther: Well, *sniff* when you put it that way...I guess you do love me...*sniff, sniff*
Giovanni: No duh. *Kisses her cheek gently*
Esther: ^_^ *flinches*Ow...
Giovanni: What?
Esther: I'm just hurting...owie...
Giovanni: I'll go get you an Advil (A/N: For anyone who's read "The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time", that's directly from that!).
Esther: I already took one...it ain't workin'.
Giovanni: -_- Oh.
*Suddenly, Esther faints, and collapses into his arms*
Giovanni: Essie? Essie!
~5 minutes later...~
*Esther comes to, just in time to see Giovanni checking her vital life signs.*
Esther: O_o He-ke...what are you doing?
Giovanni: O_O Essie!! *hugs her tightly* Oh thank goodness your all right!
Esther: No-P, I'm not.
Giovanni: Whatta ya' mean? Are you hurting still? (He hasn't really caught the problem yet.)
Esther: Perksie to the way I talk! Listen to the way I talk!
Giovanni: O_o So? Strange...
Esther: (getting angry) I'm speaking Ham-Chat, and I can't stop!!
Giovanni: O_o Whazat?
Esther: -_-;;; Ham-Chat. What they speak on Hamtaro.
Giovanni: O_O Finally, this PROVES this author has gone crazy!
Esther: -_- *sighs* Yes-P. Yes.
Giovanni: We got to get that author to give you back your vocabulary.
Esther: yeah...*pain returns* Ouchichi!
Giovanni: O_o Um...whazzat mean?
Esther: *hands him "Ham-Chat dictionary for the Ham-Chat inept"* Here.
Giovanni: *looks up word* "Ouchichi" means "Ouch". Oh, okay. I get it. The author has replaced words of your
vocabulary with Ham-Chat. My, that's a mean way to get revenge...
Esther: (Sarcastic) Tootru? I never would have guessed.
Giovanni: *looks up* "Tootru"..."Really"...Oh. you're being sarcastic.
Esther: -_-;;; This could be a tootru long day...this could be a really long day
~Author's lounge~
TCL: *Nursing wounds* PyroVulpix, could you hand me that bag of cookies?
PV: No. Get it yourself.
TCL: *Puppy-dog-eyes* Please??
PV: Oh, all right...*hands TCL cookies*
TCL: Yay! Now if I could just get Falco over here...
BG2003: Owwie...I hurt...now I canna (cannot) work on mah fics till I'm healed up...WAH!
DClick: Could be worse...
BG2003 & TCL: How?
LcCorp2: Ya' coulda been smashed by a Snorlax.
BG2003: 0_0 Please, don't make me think about that scenario.
LcCorp2: *shrugs* Okay. *Goes back to eating Chlorinated bleach*
*Esther and Giovanni enter*
TCL: Hey, Esther. How are you healing up?
Giovanni: What about me?
TCL: I don't like you...
Giovanni: -_- Well, you could be nice at least.
TCL: I'm not nice to people I don't like.
Giovanni: Obviously.
Esther: I'm healing up greatchu.
TCL: O_o what she say?
Giovanni: She said, "I'm healing up well."
BG2003: Why are you talking like that?
Esther: I can't help it.
TCL: Oh. Princess Esther of Hyrule's being mean to you?
Esther: Yes-P. Very.
Giovanni: In response to your question, BG2003, HamChat has replaced parts of her vocabulary.
BG2003: O_o you mean from Hamtaro?
Giovanni: Yes. Why?
BG2003: Me no like Hamtaro. Too cute.
Giovanni: That's nice to know. After this, I don't either. Now, to the task at hand...
TCL: Which would be...?
Giovanni: -_- You didn't let me finish.
TCL: Oh.
Giovanni: Ahem, anyway, as I was saying, before I was so RUDELY (looks at TCL angrily) INTERUPTED...!!
TCL: o_o What? *stares innocently at him, and fails miserably.* I'm an innocent little almost 13-year-old Crimson Lugia who can do no wrong.
BG2003: You already said that in one chappie.
TCL: Whatever. *goes back to eating cookies*
Giovanni: *shakes head to clear it of all this insanity* Um...where was I...? Oh yeah! Has anyone seen Princess Esther of Hyrule since the disclaimer?
TCL: *points to computer with her injured wing* Ow...over there...owie...
*Indeed, it seems the author didn't know Giovanni had a death warrant out for her. There I am, sitting there, oblivious to all else, typing out the story as it happens.*
Giovanni: *marches over and grabs me by the collar* Give my Essie her vocabulary back!
PEH: *sweatdrops* Oh, hi, hottie...thought: Oh man, he's hot when he's mad!
Giovanni: *hears thought* Shut up! Just give her back her vocab!
PEH: Um...I'd love to...but...I didn't take them away in the first place.
Giovanni: O_o Whatta mean?
PEH: Someone else replaced your beloved's wording, O Master Criminal Instigator and master of annihilation and pandemonium and capacious lexis, jargon, lingo, slang, argot, gobbledygook, and other forms of lingua franca.
Giovanni: O_o Huh? Say what? *cocks head to one side, and cocks right eyebrow (oh yeah...he doesn't have eyebrows...^_^;;;)* Um....translation in English...please??
Esther: Yeah, tootru. Yeah, really.
TCL: What the heck did PEH just say??
BG2003: I think she just said you were an idiotic turkey...
TCL: *Gasps* I AM NOT!!!
PEH: Um...I said, in English, O master Criminal Mastermind and master of mass destruction and chaos and large words (the other was all other forms of the word 'words'), and other forms of terminology.
Giovanni: Oh. Okay.
TCL: So you didn't call me an idiotic turkey?
PEH: No.
BG2003: I thought for sure that's what ya' called her.
TCL: Oh, since ya' didn't call me that, can ya forgive me for thinking ya called me that?
PEH: Yes.
TCL: Thank you. ^_^
Giovanni: So, who stole her vocabulary?
PEH: Hmm...*gets a VERY devious plan in head* I don't know. But, I might be able to find out through a bit of research...if...
Giovanni: If what?
PEH: If you kiss me.
Giovanni: O_O IF I WHAT?!?!?!?!
PEH: You heard me. Pucker up if you want the info!
Giovanni: This is blackmail!!
PEH: Yeah, so?
Giovanni: No!!! I'll find the information myself, if I have to!
PEH: But it's easier this way!
Giovanni: So?! I utterly repudiate to kiss a 13-year-old!
PEH: Pardon?
Giovanni: I said, "I absolutely refuse to kiss a 13-year-old!"
TCL: Oh.
Giovanni: -_-;;; sheesh, what do they teach kids in Language Arts these days?
BG2003: Well, let's see...punctuation, grammar, spelling...
Giovanni: Don't they make you read part of a thesaurus??
BG2003: No...
Giovanni: Well, they did when I was in 8th grade, which wasn't too long ago, mind you.
LcCorp2: Sure, man. *glares at vacant container of Chlorinated Bleach despondently (sadly)* Anyone have any more chlorinated bleach??
PV: Sorry. *looks at her empty box of Cheese Nips curiously* Hey, where'd all my Cheese Nips go??
Amber (from PEH's School): *Eating Cheese Nips; she then sees everyone looking at her* What? What'd I do?
PEH: Amber? What are you doing here?
Amber: Regina (that's what everyone calls me at school)? What's everyone staring for?
PEH: You're eating PyroVulpix's Cheese Nips...-_-;;;
Amber: *sees PV, who is looking very hurt, offended, and angry indeed* Oh, I'm sorry, Pyro...whatever. Here. *hands over remaining Cheese Nips, which are few and far between; a couple of them are also mutilated.*
PV: *tears up* ;_; You...*sniff* ate all my...*sniff, sniff* Cheese Nips...WAHHH!!!
Amber: Whoops...sorry. I didn't eat ALL of them...
PV: JUST ABOUT!!! ;_; *Tries to blast Amber with an Fire Blast, but ends up hitting Giovanni*
Giovanni: *slightly charred* x_x Ow......
PEH: O_O YOU HURT HIM!!!!!!!
PV: *Cowers in fear before PEH* I didn't mean to...I'm sorry...
PEH: ^_^ Don't worry. I can kiss him now that he fainted.
*PEH walks over, and is about to kiss him, when...*
*A.N.McCormick breaks down the door with the 2-inch heels of her boots*
A.N. McCormick: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?! *Sees PEH* Uggg...Don't tell me, Cassandra. Let me guess...another version of your stupid story?
PEH (Cassandra): No, another insane chappie.
A.N.McCormick: Whatever. thought: I still don't like you...
PEH: And? Why do I care if you like me, Alex?
Alex (A.N.McCormick): DON'T CALL ME THAT ON FanFiction.Net!!
PEH: Why, Alexandra?
Alex: *very angry* DON'T CALL ME THAT EITHER!!
PEH: Oh, shut up and go back to your own place, Walls; back in the Harry Potter section, where you belong!
Alex: Umm...^_^;;;;; where is that, exactly? I sorta forgot...^_^;;;;;
PEH: Use your stupid magic to help you.
Alex: It's not stupid!
TCL: PEH, do you know her?
PEH: -_-;;;; Yes, she's a pal from McConnell Middle, if "Pal" is the right word...
Esther: *sees Alex, who is in all black (nothing new)* Bizzaroo.
Alex: What'd she just say?
PEH: She said "strange."
Alex: Grr... What was that spell again...? Oh, yes...AVADA KEDAVRA (some type of death spell...;me no like Harry Potter :-P)! *casts it on Esther*
Esther: *protects self with Nayru's Love; spell wears off* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You nogo defeat me! you cannot (actually, it's no can do) defeat me!
Alex: *pouting* Hey, no fair! You used a protection spell!
Esther: All's fair in smoochie love, war, and battles between an author and a character!
Alex: All right... AVADA KEDAVRA! *Casts on Esther again; There's no effect, even though Esther didn't use Nayru's Love again.*
Alex: *Pouting again* Why didn't it work...?
Esther: Doesn't work on Heroes of Time, so no sense casting it on Giovanni either. You'll just wear yourself out.
Alex: *pouting AND whining* Aw....that stinks.
Esther: ^_^ I know it does.
Alex: Well...I better get going...see if I can find a spell that'll work on Heroes of Time... where's the HP author's lounge?
Esther: Down the hall, 80th door on the right.
Alex: All right! *throws something like a smoke bomb; smoke fills the room* I'll get you, Esther, and your little boyfriend too!! *cackles like the wicked witch from wizard of Oz, and vanishes*
*smoke finally clears*
Giovanni: *has finally come to* *cough, cough* What the blazing you-know-where was that?
PEH: Someone from my school...^_^;;;
Esther: The deranged and bizzaroo Goth/Wiccan?
PEH: Yeah. Her.
Esther: -_-;;;; oh gosh...she's annoying....
PEH: Oh yeah. She hates me with a passion, too.
TCL: Why's that?
PEH: I've got too many versions of my story, and I'm on the complete opposite side of the religious spectrum.
BG2003: How's that?
PEH: She's Goth/Wiccan, I'm Protestant/Baptist.
TCL: Oh.
Giovanni: Um...can we get back on subject, please?
PEH: Oh yeah. Totally forgot! ^_^;;;; Let's see...Oh yeah; Now I remember! I'll get ya the info if ya kiss me.
Giovanni: Forget it. Essie, you plan on staying here for a bit?
Esther: Perhaps, unless you need me for something.
Giovanni: Nah. You wanna stay here?
Esther: Maybe, but I might drive BG2003 Blast-T means angry, but in this context, it means mad. with me HamChat...Can I stay with ya'll?
BG2003: I guess I can survive it for awhile...just don't go overboard with it.
Esther: Thank-Q! That's tootru greatchu! Hampact I won't HuffPuff on and on! Thank you! That's really great! I promise I won't carry on and on!
BG2003: Oh boy...-_-;;; this may be a long day...
Giovanni: Bye, sweetie. *kisses Esther on forehead* I'll be back soon. Thanks for tolerating the HamChat, guys and gals! *leaves room*
Esther: Goodgo, and Gorush! Good Luck, and Hurry!
BG2003: *shakes head* I may need some Advil after all this...
Esther: Um...Hammos? Um...friends?
DClick: Yeah?
Esther: You mind if I zuzuzu on the couch? I don't snore or anything like that. You mind if I nap on the couch? *you know the rest.*
BG2003: That's it! We need a translator! *whistles loudly*
Esther: *covers ears* Not so Dingbang! Not so Noisy!
*a little fairy, Navi from Ocarina of Time to be exact, flies in*
Navi: Yeah?
LcCorp2: Could you translate for Esther?
TCL: Waitaminute! I can translate!
LcCorp2: Oh. Sorry, Navi. We don't need you anymore.
Navi: Okay. Bye bye! *flies off*
Esther: Bye-Q! Bye! So, can I zuzuzu on the couch?
TCL: I guess you can take a nap on it, just don't take up the whole thing.
Esther: Thank-Q!
~15 minutes later...~
Esther: *Is curled into a little ball, asleep on the couch*
BG2003: Finally, she's asleep! Now we don't have to listen to her.
PV: Waitaminute! What's Amber still doing here?
Amber: I'm not supposed to be here?
PV: No.
Amber: Oh. *exits*
PV: Now I have to raid the bloody pantry for more Cheese Nips...
TCL: *gazes sadly at empty cookie box* I'll join you! I need more cookies! *joins PV in the pantry*
BG2003: I gonna order a XXXX-LARGE pizza. Anyone want some? *No response* Okay, more for me! *calls pizza-guy*
LcCorp2: Hey, I wanna see if there's any more chlorinated bleach in the pantry! *joins the brigade*
PEH: Hey, I want some Baklava, then I'm ordering Octopus and Surf Clam sushi with miso soup!! ^_^ Yummy! *joins them in their search for their foods of choice* I'll get some for Esther too, cause I know she likes it too! ^_^ A person after my own heart!
~~~~
~meanwhile...~
Giovanni: *searching files* Something's gotta be somewhere....*looks at clock* Oh man, it's lunchtime already, and I haven't gotten any results! *sighs deeply* Guess I'll return in a second, after lunch. *Replaces files*
Clock: *reads 12:30 P.m.*
Giovanni: *is about to leave when he spots something in the back of the file drawer* Hello, what's this...?
~~~
Narrator: What is it that Giovanni has found? Will it help him out any?? Will they find the real culprit? Will Mewtwo take over the world? Will BG2003 go batty? Will the HamHams rise up and take over planet Earth?? And most importantly...WILL THE FANFIC AUTHORS FIND THEIR FOODS OF CHOICE IN THE PANTRY?? Tune in next time for Part 2 of...MEWTWO'S REVENGE!