VERY RANDOM INSANITY
CHAPTER 8
By Princess Esther of Hyrule
Disclaimer: The first thing Esther does was an idea given to me from a girl at my school by the name of Jennifer Ashman. I own only me, myself, and Iren…I mean Esther, and some others I cannot yet think of! ^_^ And the song Peanut Butter shall take over the world! is mine also. Otherwise, Nothing new!
Note: If it's in bold and italics, it's the author talking (like this: See?).
I warn you now: This is what happens when you've got ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and you take your time-release capsules in the morning, like you're supposed to, only to go insane again! ^_^ Yay! Current time of writing: TIME \@ "M/d/yy h:mm am/pm" 12/20/02 10:17 PM.
******
*Our scene begins in Cassandra (Better known as Princess Esther of Hyrule)'s bedroom. A Caucasian blonde girl is lying on her stomach on her bed, thinking of an idea for her next insane chappie for "VERY RANDOM INSANITY"…*
Blonde girl: I'm not a blonde!
Then what are you?
Blonde Girl: I'm a light brunette with blonde highlights!
Oh, okay.
*Ahem…anyway, this light brunette is contemplating what she should come up with now that "Mewtwo's Revenge" is finished.*
Brunette Girl: You've got that darned piece of information right. Think, think. Think, think. Think…Oh, I cannot think properly! ARGH! *Hits head against mattress in frustration; she then looks at a picture of Giovanni by her bedside table* Oh, Giovanni, my love, how can I think clearly when your voice…your image haunt me day and night, night and day!? Oh, but what cruel irony; to think I created Estakishipping (A/N: as if I haven't give ya'll enough hints: Giovanni/Esther is Estakishipping. It used to be Heroshipping, but that was already taken by Meowth/Cassandra [from the series]) because the threat of losing you to Delia Ketchum was so great that I created a character who lacks many of my faults, whom I created in the fifth-grade, whom I…
Talk about sheer poetry. Talk about young infatuation.
Talk about making your stomach turn! Anyway…
CHILL ALREADY!
BG (Brunette Girl): But I…
Quit with the melodrama!
BG: O_o that was melodramatic?
Umm…lemme check, Cass. *Checks thesaurus* Yep: Very overdramatic.
BG: Wait a minute! Who are you?
Your Arch-alias, Cassandra.
Cassandra (BG): O_O You mean… my creativity and my insanity?!
Yep!
Cassandra: I'm so glad to see you again!! I need you!
I can see that. Hang on.
*They then merge to create an insane black-furred Persian, who loves Sushi, Baklava, and of course…Giovanni! They are now…Princess Esther of Hyrule!*
Princess Esther of Hyrule: Now this is more like it! Now…*heads to computer* where should I begin, purr…(remember, she's a Persian, so she can purr ^_^) *she contemplates, which is a big fancy word for thinking^_^* Ah, yes. A purr-fect idea! Hee-hee-hee! Maybe I can get another kiss for Vanni if I plan it accordingly…^_^ hee-hee!
~Later…~
(It's a beautiful day at the Author's Lounge, which has PEH (Who is identified on FF.Net stories as Princess Esther of Hyrule [PEH], not Esther.), TCL, LcCorp2, Bookgirl2003, Giovanni, Esther, and that's it. ^_^ Let the insanity begin!)
Esther put on an elf suit and did the Mexican Hat Dance, while wearing bunny ears and carrying Easter eggs in a pretty pastel basket, while singing over and over, "Peanut Butter shall take over the world!"
TCL started reciting the Japanese alphabet.
Giovanni, claiming that the song Peanut Butter shall take over the world!, was his and not the author's, decided to call his lawyer so he could sue. Then he remembered that he was already going to "law school" in Mrs. Demos' class (Mrs. Demos is my 8th grade Social Studies teacher. She is also my Homeroom teacher.), and that he had passed the Bar Exam they took on the Constitution (I don't know if I passed yet or not. I only took it Wednesday, December 18th -_-;;;.), therefore making him eligible to be in the big court case at the end of the school year. So he decided to drop it for now.
BookGirl2003 ate one million strawberry starbursts and strangled Jingle from Hamtaro.
Lccorp2 played with Barbie and Ken dolls, then roasted them all over a big fire and seasoned them with Chlorinated Bleach, honey, and barbeque.
I started bouncing off the walls like silly putty (so what else is new? ^_^), while screaming, "Pretty peacocks with blue and white feathers make great senators!" at the top of her lungs.
"I plead the 28th amendment!" Ash yells in court.
"There is no 28th amendment, Mr. Ketchum." Butch (who was the judge) says, "at least don't think there is…"
"There isn't. Only goes up to 27." I say.
"Why?" Ash asks.
"Because the Constitution is a basic framework and not a incredibly detailed document, it doesn't need many changes, unlike Georgia's constitution, which has been amended over three hundred times, which is because Georgia's constitution was a detailed set of instructions. Plus, do you know how Congress passes a amendment?"
"Yes, but I bet you're about to tell us anyway." Giovanni yawns, because he has already heard about the whole thing from Mrs. Demos (How he got in her classroom without her noticing is beyond me. Must be one of those technological things…).
"That's right!" I squeal. "Here's how. Some one from either the Senate or the House of Reps. proposes one. They vote on it, and if it gets 2/3 of the vote, it goes to the states, which then vote on it. ¾ of the states', which is roughly 33 of the states, vote is required to turn it into an Amendment. Now, about that you pleading an amendment thing, Ash…
(2,000,000 hours later…)
(As I explain still, we get a good look at the rest of the courtroom. TCL, LcCorp2, and Bookgirl2003 are all piled in a corner, asleep. Esther is sleep on one of the chairs (she was interested in my speech, but she fell asleep because her body need it.). Giovanni, who has been constructing paper airplanes and flying them across the room for around 1,000 hours now in complete silence, finally can't take it any more.
"I plead the 8th!" He yells. Everyone looks at him strangely. Even I stop my tirade.
"Um…what's everybody staring for…?" He asks, sweatdropping.
"Um, ya' yelled, 'I plead the 8th!'. Why do you plead the 8th?" I ask.
A/N: If this is boring ya'll, don't worry. The history class will be over in just a second. I promise. ^_^
"Because the 8th amendment says that bails, punishment, and/or fines shall not be unreasonable!" He says bitterly.
"I know that. So?" I ask.
"This is definitely unreasonable punishment!" He yells. "Who agrees with me?!" He asks the crowd. (Everyone raises his or her hands.)
So they kick me out of court.
"I'll show you! I'll show you all!" I yell.
See? I told you the history lesson would be over soon. ^_^
Giovanni is now suing me for being very unconstitutional, and says I broke the 6th amendment, which means you have the right to a speedy trial. I am now suing him and everyone else in the courtroom because they took away my freedom of speech, which is guaranteed by Amendment one.
Giovanni whacks me over the head with a 2-by-4 so I shut up.
Me: x_x (beautiful silence follows; don't worry. Me no dead: just unconscious. ^_^;;;)
TCL: She actually shut up! Yahoo! Party at my place! Free cookies for everyone!
Everyone (but me.): Yay!
Party at TCL's ensues.
(Each author [but me, obviously] has his or her own table with their favorite foods on it. TCL, meanwhile, saved money because she didn't have to buy two million pounds of baklava.)
Esther: It's soooo nice not being bugged by her, isn't it, Vanni?
Giovanni: Uh-huh. Good thing Mrs. Demos taught us about the bill of rights ^_^! We may not be alive now if she hadn't.
Esther: Well, at least we know history is good for something! ^_^
Giovanni: Yeah. Ya' know, I bet there's a moral to this story…
Esther: A moral…to one of PEH's fics?
Giovanni: Possibly.
Esther: Lemme guess…'don't take history class too lightly, because you may wish later that you hadn't,'?
Giovanni: Sounds like it to me.
(Jerry Springer walks in front of Camera)
Jerry: And now a final thought for today…
Alex (from the game show chapter): COME BACK HERE, YOU!
Jerry: AHHH! (Runs from Alex)
Giovanni: -_-;;; the final thought is…that there is no final thought, so go away.
Esther: But that was a final thought right there.
Giovanni: O_o huh?
Esther: You said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.
Giovanni: (very confused) Come again?
Esther: (sighs) -_-;; You said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.
Giovanni: (whining) You're confusing me…
Esther: How can you be confused? I just said that you said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.
Giovanni: (VERY confused) Um…TCL!
(TCL flies over)
TCL: (mouth stuffed with cookies) Mwhat? That's supposed to be 'what?' but it's a little hard to talk with a billion cookies in your mouth.
Giovanni: Essie, explain to her what you just tried to explain to me…
Esther: Um…okay. Jerry Springer walked on stage and said 'And now our final thought for today…' yet he never got to finish because Alex Quebec was chasing him. Then Giovanni said, 'the final thought is…that there is no final thought, so go away.' Then I said, 'But that was a final thought right there.' And he said, 'Huh?' And I explained, 'You said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.' Then he said. 'Come again?' And so I repeated myself. Then he said, 'You're confusing me.' And I asked him, 'How can you be confused? I just said that you said the final thought was that there was no final thought, yet there had to be one because you said the final thought was that there is no final thought.' Then he called you.
TCL: O_o Um…I haven't a clue. Sorry. (Goes back inside.)
Giovanni: I'm going inside too.
Esther: Huh? Why?
Giovanni: I'm going to see if Meowth didn't not spike the punch again.
Esther: O_o so you're going inside to see if Meowth did spike the punch again, or that he did not spike the punch again?
Giovanni: I meant what I said.
Esther: That means you're going to see if Meowth spiked the punch again, yet how do you know if it was spiked in the first place?
Giovanni: -_- Um…Okay, I'm taking an Advil.
Esther: What, does your head hurt?
Giovanni: Yeah.
Esther: Why does it hurt?
Giovanni: May I ask you a question, Essie?
Esther: ^_^ Sure.
Giovanni: Es, why are you so inquisitive today?
Esther: (shrugs) I don't know, but why does your head hurt?
Giovanni: From you being so inquisitive.
Esther: But I thought it was because I was confusing you.
Giovanni: That too...
Esther: Oh. Sorry 'bout that.
Giovanni: 's okay. I think I'll go get a Barq's root beer while I'm at it…
Esther: I'll join you! I love Barq's!
Giovanni: (thinking) I don't think I'll ever understand women…
Esther: (thinking) I don't think I'll ever understand men…
(And so, they go inside together.)
As this Fan Fiction subdivision comes to a denouement, specified questions are left unreciprocated: Will Giovanni ever convey to Esther how he truly feels about her? Will Esther enlighten Giovanni about how she truly feels about him? Will Giovanni ever be au fait with women – and if he does, does that mean he's more affluent & more contented than anybody else (and forthrightly, who cares?)? –? Will Esther ever comprehend men? Why was Ash in court in the first place, for heaven's sake? Why was Butch the judge, and not Judge Judy, or Wapner, or whoever? Is Giovanni Ash's father? Is Ash's father Prof. Oak, Prof. Hale, or someone else who isn't even on the series? Or is it a Star Wars, Episode I Cliché, in that there was no father, and Ash was conceived by the midichloreans, or whatever?! Will the person responsible for bringing you this narrative revolutionize the appellation of Giovanni/Esther shipping all over again? These subjects may perhaps by no means be laid to respite, nevertheless we can for ever and a day hope! ^_^
Giovanni: SOJOURN EXPLOITING SCORES OF DANG CUMBERSOME AND CAPACIOUS LEXIS, OTHERWISE I'LL SMACK YOU OVER THE CRANIUM YET AGAIN VIA THE 2-BY-4! Um…I mean, stop using so many dang big words, or I'll hit you over the head again with the 2-by-4! Man, I hang around you too much…-_-;;;
Me: O_O Meep! Okay, let me put that in small, easy to understand words:
As this Fan Fiction chapter comes to a close, certain questions are left unanswered: Will Giovanni ever tell Esther how he truly feels about her? Will Esther tell Giovanni about how she truly feels about him? Will Giovanni ever understand women – and if he does, does that mean he's better off than anybody else (and frankly, who cares?)? –? Will Esther ever understand men? Why was Ash in court in the first place, for heaven's sake? Why was Butch the judge, and not Judge Judy, or Wapner, or whoever? Is Giovanni Ash's father? Is Ash's father Prof. Oak, Prof. Hale, or someone else who isn't even on the series? Or is it a Star Wars, Episode I Cliché, in that there was no father, and Ash was conceived by the midichloreans, or whatever?! Will the author for bringing you this story change the name of Giovanni/Esther shipping again? These questions may never be answered, but we can always hope! ^_^
Giovanni: Ah, that's much better. ^_^
Strange people these days…
Giovanni: What?!
Oh, nothing, nothing at all…
*****
Love it? Hate it? Hiding under the bed because of the history part seems scary to you? ^_^ READ AND REVIEW!!
And also, please read and review The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time and Acquaintance, other Fan Fics by me! Please do it! You know you want to…^_^ I'm not updating The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time, and I'm not putting my third story, Ruins (that's the temporary title), up on FF. Net until I get one or two more reviews for The Legend of Zelda: The Three Heroes of Time, depending if TCL reads it and reviews it. If she does, I'll update without a second review, but only if she does! I mean it, too. No ones reviewed it since chappie 3, or was it 2…*sniff, sniff* ;_; DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE?!?!?!
Giovanni: Oh, cry us a river...
Okay… (Cries a river)
Really, I don't care if you flame me for it, or say something not encouraging, just somebody review! I would appreciate you saying it's good, though…^_^