Things you'll never Harry Potter People Say:

1. Draco: I love you.

2. Harry: The scars just a scrach'n'sniff sticker.

3. Hagrid: Burn the plants! Kill the animals!

4. Dumbledore: Damn this beard.

5. Snape: Mommy, he hit me.

6. Voldemort: Does this color match my eyes?

7. Hermonie: I hate studying! I hate school! And I hate You!

8. Lilly and James: Take the kid we don't want him.

9. Crabbie and Goyle: We have I.Q.'s of 710.

10. Draco: *smirk* How many licks does it take to get to the center...

11. Harry: I think I need contacts, these glasses are giving me a rash.

12. Black: Woof! Woof!

13. Voldemort: I'm not Gay! How many times do I have to tell you people that! I'm evil, I'm sadistic, I'm a down right not nice person, but I'm not Gay! yet...

14. Hermonie: You have a nice @$$ professor McGonagall!

15. Snape: Dumbledore will you marry me?

16. Hagrid: I got "some"!

17. Harry: This isn't a scar, I got this tattoo at a wore house a few years back!

18. Harry: Back that @$$ up, your a big fine woman, Hermonie, now won't you back that @$$ up!

19. Harry *thinking*: Damn Draco's just got the cutest @$$...I wonder if he'd ever let me...

20. Hagrid *crying*: I'm "little".

21. Voldemort: I'm a little tea pot short and stout...

22. Lucius Malfoy: I confess. I want the Dark Lord as my lover.

24. Draco: I had a traumatic childhood, *snif sniff*

25. Weasley twins: That's it! We'll never put off another stink bomb, joke wand, canary cakes, etc., ect...

26. McGonagall: I'm a Barbie girl...

27. Ron: I'm in the money!

28. Harry: I just joined the young "AA" meetings.

29. Voldemort: Love me!

30. Hagrid: Awwwww, look at the bunny...shoot it!

31. Snape: The hills are alive!!! Ahhh dear God the hills are alive! Run!

32. Hermonie: I've gone lesbo!

33. Neville: Look I got my nipple pierced.

34. Percy: I'm a pimp. Neville get your sweet @$$ back here and give me some sugar.

35. Harry: I just had my first "b.j", but I can't get the taste outta my mouth!

36. Draco: I am not a dumb blonde! *sniff sniff* Oh! You want to what?! Okay sure thing, Harry, but why do I have to put my face in your lap?

37. Wormtail: hey, my "tail's hairy!

38. Ron: Oh look, "it's" finally growing...oops, that was just a strap-on.

39. Hermonie: Get it out it hurts!
Ron: Well hold still!
Harry: Damn that thing's big.
Ron: Be careful will ya or it'll break off!
*Hermonie has a splinter stuck in her hand*

40. Lilly Potter: I should have used birth control when I had the chance.

41. Harry: I need to get laid.

42. Crabbie: I love you Goylie-oliy.
Goyle: I wuv you too Crabbie-wabbie.

43. Ginny: I'm a slut!

44. Harry: I be pimpin' dem hoes!

45. Scabbers: I used to be a cute lil' squirrel, that is before all the hair fell off my tail!

46. McGonagall: I confess! I was impregnated my Dumbledore.

47. J.K. Rowling: I made you and I can break you too! Now get back in your bloody goddamned books!

48. Hagrid: Harry is my reincarnated lover!

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New stuff starts here!
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49. Flur and Draco: we are not dumb blondes!
We're knot! We're knot! We're knot!

50. Neville: [beeep] you! Get your [beeeeep] out of my face you stupid mother [beeeeeeppppp-ing] [beep!]

51. Voldi: *sniff* can't we all just get along...

52. Trevor the toad: you know Neville, I hate to complain, but IT WOULD BE NICE TO BE NOTICED ONCE IN A WHILE!

53. Ron: okay! fine, I'll admit it, I've been prostituting for money, are you happy?!

54. The weasley kids: So the hair's dyed. What? you didn't know? You think that this was actually a natural color! HA!

55. Dudley: All hail Slim Fast!

56. Remus and Siruis: Flea powder! Flea powder! The kingdom for some flea powder!