Rating: what the hell do you think? Do you think this is a f***ing kids fic?! You f***ing morons! You should all get F***ed! (R-ish)
Notes: We have none.
Disclaimer: Well...if we were rich enough to get a publishing deal we wouldn't be doing this, now would we? This means we're POOR! Sue us all you want! All you'll get is a gum collection and pocket lint...and maybe a blow up doll from Candymann! Candymann: HEY! Leave 'Cindy' out of this!
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77. Draco: Harry? Why are you in my bed? Are you naked? Are you wearing a bra?!
78. Voldemort: PETER!! I want something white and liquidy. Get me a glass of milk!
79. Dudley: *Over doses on Metabo-life* feel the fat melt....feel the fat melt....
80. Krum: I alvays vanted to be a ballerina!
81. Harry: *sees Hagrid and Fang in beastillity act* Dear God! *shoves hot poker into eyes*
82. Dobby: *begins to get a lil' to comfy w/ that tea cosy* Dobby likes tea cosy!!! *insert heavy breathing*
83. McGonagall: Like a virgin! Touched for the very first time...
84. *If Snape were @ a karaokie party, what would he sing?*
Snape: O! I like big butts and I can not lie,
and dumbledore can't deny.....
*Can't continue for fear of damaging psyche
more than already possible*
85. Fleur: Iz true! Iz true! My muzzer was a prostitute and my fazzer was a gay rodeo clown! *breaks down into sobs*
86. Snape: You go, girl!
Draco: Like, totally!
Harry: That's da bomb!
Hermione: SHUT UP YOU FREAKS!
87. Hermione: I got an A-! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *stabs herself with a pencil*
88. Ron: I confess...my freckles were surgically implanted...
89. Maxime: Nasty...Nasty half-giant boys...
90. Harry: *takes giant puff off joint* Duuuuude the colors...man, look
at all my fingers! Wow, why am I so hungry?
*goes on eating binge and gains 50lbs.*
91. Fawkes: Polly want a cracker!
92. Cedric: Harry, bring my body to my parents. Harry... What are doing? Stop that! Harry! That orifice was not meant to be plugged with that!!
93. Lupin: *goes through werewolf heat*
*begins wildly humping Black's leg*
Black: Oh damn it, not again...
94. Prof. Sprout: Today were going to burn all of the plants. I trust
you brought your flamethrowers. Neville! That's not a plant!
That's Hermione!
Neville: Whoops! It was an....accident. heh
heh *to himself* Stupid smart-ass whore! Burn in hell!
95. Draco: *walks into whore house*
Harry *the one-legged prostitute*: Looking
for some fun, big boy...?
96. Mr. Fudge: I'm tasty and satisfying!
97. Dobby: *runs off with the Pilsbury Doughboy* I found my first true
love!
Winky: I want a boyfriend *breaks down in
tears* *sees Hermione* Never mind I've gone lesbian.
98. Voldemort *asked to be replacement on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood*: *reads script* My God! And they called me evil! *shudders*
99.Lucius: *shows up at death eater head quarters dressed as Oreo cookie(white
fudge)* EAT ME! EAT ME! EAT ME! EAT ME! EAT ME! EAT ME!
Death Eaters: Here we go again!
100. Neville: If I only had a brain...
101.Ron: My mother's sweaters are possesed and out to eat me!
Harry: Okay Ron! Let's take a walk to
the happy house!
102. Frodo: Harry! Get the hell away from me! Stop stalking me!
Harry: But your my precious!
103. Dudley: *confesses soul on Dr.Phil (LIVE! FROM LAS VEGAS)*
104. Dudley: Give me lipo or give me death!
105. *VH1's Where are the HP characters now?*
Harry: *porn star* Scars are sexy!
Ron: *Columbian drug lord* Sweet cocaina!
Hermione: *nun* Magic is the work of Satan!! I love Jesus now!
Ginny: *stripper* Give me a $20 for lap dancing!
Draco: *what do you think?* I work with the famous Harry Potter! He
thinks he's so great just because he's sexier than me!
Colin: *makes porn movies staring Harry and Draco*
Dumbledore: *died from arsenic poisoning*
McGonagall: *millionaire from Dumbledore's fortune* I didn't do it!
Snape: *gets rich from selling Hogwarts and retires in the Bahamas*
Ahhh... This is the life! But something's missing! I need someone to glare
at! I need Harry!!!*rents adult video starring Harry* Ahhh... That's better!
Hagrid: *circus freak* What? There's no more cotton candy! I...NEED...MORE...COTTON..CANDY!
*goes into homicidal rage killing milions of people* *breaks down into
seizure*