Last Christmas

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : I'm just borrowing them um unless someone wants to take pity on me and give me the boys as a x-mas gift? No? *sighs* Didn't think so… Oh and the song Last Christmas by WHAM! ain't mine either. *pouts* Darnit don't I own anything? Um wait… don't answer that one thanks…

Warnings : OCC, shonen-ai, angst, christmas-stuff, LONG chapter.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts.

Pairings : Yoji/Aya, Ken/Aya, Aya/Ken

A huge thanks to fei who helped me with this chapter *hugs her* I had two diffrent chapters written and didn't know which one I should post. Thanks to her you got the better one *L* She also took the time to help me with my horrible spelling and grama *shudders* It sucks to be Swedish sometimes! Thanks fei you're the best and you always take time to help me!!! *give ya a big warm and fuzzy X-mas hug*

Chapter 3. Merry Christmas

"Ken we need to talk." He ignored Aya and continued decorating the tree with Omi. "Ken!" He had managed to avoid the redhead so far but now after the shop had closed it seemed like he couldn't any longer. With a sigh the brunette turned around.

"What?" Ken snapped.

"We need to talk," Aya mumbled and seemed to have a problem with looking into the brunette's eyes.

"There's nothing to talk about Aya. We both know it's over, that you don't want me so just let it be." The redhead stared at him with confusion and hurt in his amethyst eyes before he swirled around and almost ran out of the room.

"Ken-kun…" Ken raised his hand to stop whatever it was Omi was about to say.

"I don't want to talk about it." He went back to the tree and fought against the tears.

"Well then I'll talk and you listen!" Omi growled and turned him around. "You're not being fair to Aya-kun."

"What?! You don't know what you're talking about," the brunette muttered and pulled his arm free.

"Perhaps not but then Ken neither do you." The brunette glared at his friend not quite understanding what he was talking about.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Omi frowned and shook his head.

"I saw too."

"Saw what?"

"Yoji-kun and Aya-kun, in the kitchen, last night," the little blonde answered and glanced over his shoulder as if to make sure neither one of their team-mates were around.

"Then how the hell can you say that I'm not being fair?!" Ken spat out and gritted his teeth.

"Because you took what you saw and concluded what it was without knowing how it ended!" Omi said sharply. "I thought you loved Aya-kun, that you trusted him." There was accusation in his voice and his words hit the guilt in Ken's heart. The blonde was right, sort of, but he didn't want to hear it.

"Trust him? He had another man's tongue shoved down his throat and he wasn't exactly struggling to get away!" the brunette hissed and almost crushed the glass ball he held in his hand. "If you haven't noticed Aya has feelings for Yoji, he wants him! Do you get that Omi? He wants Yoji, not me!"

"Sometimes you're so stupid Ken-kun," the little blonde sighed. "If he wants Yoji-kun then why is he chasing after you? He's been trying to talk to you all day."

"Yeah to tell me that it's over and that he realized that he wants Yoji instead. I just saved him the trouble!"

"KEN!" The brunette jumped at the hard angry tone in Omi's raised voice. "Jesus Christ you are slow! Did you see how his face looked when you said it was over? Did he look like it was what he wanted?" The blonde paused for a moment and took a few deep breaths. "Ken you can't just throw away everything you have just because you're scared. Why didn't you talk to Aya-kun instead, ask him to explain?"

"There's nothing to explain though, is there? I saw his face when Yoji came on to him Omi," Ken mumbled feeling completely deflated. "I heard how he moaned when… when…"

"But you didn't see or hear what happened after that," his friend persisted. "Please talk to him Ken-kun or you'll regret it." The brunette swallowed.

"I… There's no point Omi," Ken almost whispered. "I've lost him." The short blonde sighed and shook his head sadly.

"No Ken you didn't lose him, you shut him out." Omi gave him a mournful look before he left the brunette alone. Ken closed his eyes and allowed the tears to fall. He didn't want to believe or listen to what Omi had said but somehow, somewhere inside, he knew that the little blonde was right. Numbly he hung the last red ball on the tree and wiped away the tears.

"Merry Fucking Christmas…" the brunette half sobbed, half whimpered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken stared into the darkness of his room. It was so empty there without Aya. Omi's words were still echoing inside his head and nothing he did managed to block them out. He sighed deeply and leaned back against the pillows.

What a way to spend his birthday. The brunette shook his head and played with the hem of his shirt. They hadn't celebrated it but then Ken hadn't wanted to either. Besides, what was there to celebrate? Because he was stupid, insecure and afraid he had lost Aya and he didn't know what to do about it. If there was anything he could do? He wanted to fight, to find out what it was the redhead wanted but he didn't know how.

If Omi was right and Aya hadn't gone to Yoji, if what he had seen in the kitchen hadn't been what it looked like then… then even so his stupidity hadn't just begun now. Ken closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He hadn't trusted Aya before either, not entirely. There had always been a nagging part of his mind that claimed that if the redhead got the chance he'd go to Yoji.

Even if that wasn't true he had certainly pushed Aya in the blonde's direction, hadn't he? What reason did his lover, former lover, have to fight Yoji off now? If what was between the two oldest team-members was nothing but sexual attraction then Ken had made the biggest mistake of his life earlier.

He knew Yoji would take advantage of the situation. That man was extremely good at getting what, or rather who, he wanted. There wasn't a single doubt in Ken's body that the lanky playboy would get Aya if he went after him. Not an appealing conclusion at all.

He should have known better, he should have handled the situation differently but when it came to Aya he couldn't think properly. The redhead meant so much to Ken and the fear of losing him just hurt too much. And thanks to that fear he had lost Aya. It was going to be a sad excuse of a christmas…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Christmas eve came no matter how hard Ken tried to make it go away. The house screamed christmas but the only one who seemed cheerful was the lanky blonde. Yoji strolled around the house humming christmas songs to himself, unless he was making his moves on Aya. Ken watched them sadly. He did nothing about it though, didn't feel like he had a right to.

In an uncomfortable silence they ate christmas dinner. No one talked, no one smiled, except Yoji. In the evening the four young men gathered in the living-room and the air surrounding them was tense and uncomfortable. Ken glanced at the redhead who was staring at the christmas tree. This was killing him inside. He had never felt so far away from Aya even though they were sitting on the same couch.

The room felt crowded and at least three of them seemed tired. After about an hour Omi had had enough and headed upstairs to wrap one final christmas present, Ken was quick to follow since he didn't want to be alone with Aya and Yoji.

In his room he took out the presents he had bought for his friends. His gift to Aya had of course been the first one he had bought and he had been so happy, so excited to give it to the redhead but not anymore. It wasn't a present for a friend, it was for a lover and Aya was not his lover anymore.

"I need you Aya… What am I suppose to do?" the brunette asked the empty room and pushed back the tears. Miserable he went back downstairs to get through the last part of christmas eve.

He stopped in the doorway to the living-room and for the second time in just barely 3 days he wished he had stayed in his room. The scene was much like the one he had seen in the kitchen only this time Yoji had Aya pressed up against the wall.

"Merry Christmas Ayan," the blonde said softly and caressed the other man's pale face.

"Yoji, please." Ken frowned slightly. Aya's voice sounded so lost and sad.

"Please what baby?" Yoji smiled and gently brushed his lips across the redhead's.

"Don't." A flicker of annoyance played in green eyes.

"I don't understand why you insist on fighting me. Is it because you came so willingly the last time?" Aya failed to answer and the brunette sighed. It was torture to watch so why couldn't he convince himself to walk away? "Or is it perhaps because of Ken?" Ken winced when he heard his name.

"I…"

"You know Aya, he can't give you what you need… It's not in his nature." Brown eyes narrowed in anger. What the hell was that suppose to mean?

"What do you know about what I need or what Ken gives me for that matter?" Aya asked rather harshly and his amethyst eyes grew cold.

"Oh please… I know you Aya and I know that you need to be stripped of the control you so tightly cling to. You need someone who can make you feel helpless… Only I can give that to you. Ken is way too submissive and weak…" Ken turned around to leave but then he heard Omi's words in his head. Reluctantly the brunette faced the blonde and the redhead again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I'm right aren't I?" Yoji asked and nudged the redhead's legs apart to step between them.

"You couldn't be more wrong!" Aya snapped and squirmed away. His eyes large and angry. "You don't know anything about my relationship with Ken!" Why had he ever allowed Yoji so close at all? He wasn't sure but this had to be settled.

"Don't I?" the blonde questioned and smirked. "Aya what you have or had with Ken might be sweet and tender but it's not what you need." The redhead clenched his jaws together.

"You have no idea what I need!" he growled and shoved the blonde man away from him.

"Oh but I do Aya, I do," Yoji purred and leaned closer.

"And what is it that you know that I need then?" Aya asked coldly.

"Me," Yoji said simply and again trapped him against the wall claiming his lips. The weakness was still there but this time he could fight it. His body didn't turn into mush, his brain didn't shut down, this was not what he wanted.

"Stop it! What the hell makes you think I need you?" Green eyes looked slightly shocked at the angry question.

"Because you need someone who can dominate you, someone who'll take you even though you might claim you don't want that."

"No Yoji that's not what I need nor what I want."

"Isn't it? You sure seemed to need and want it last christmas," the blonde smirked and captured Aya's lips again. The redhead pushed him away and narrowed his eyes in anger.

"Stop it!"

"Why? You said you liked it yourself."

"So? That doesn't really mean anything!"

"Doesn't it? Can Ken make you feel like that hm? I'm willing to bet that he can't Ayan… Ken is kind, sweet and caring yes, but when it comes to this he can't give you what you need," Yoji drawled softly and caressed the redhead's face.

"How would you know?"

"He's too innocent Aya, too weak to be in charge."

"Damnit Kudou! Is everything about sex with you?!" Aya spat out and shoved the blonde away harshly. "What I have with Ken isn't about sex you idiot!"

"Isn't it? So you take care of him, you cradle him in your arms, comfort him when he's sad or upset? That's not what you need Aya. You need someone who can take control of you," Yoji said and the redhead let out a cold laugh.

"You just don't get it do you?! Why do you assume that I'm the one who holds Ken up?" His question seemed to confuse the tall blonde.

"Because you're so much stronger than him."

"Am I? I'm the one who needs to be protected and held Yoji. When you tossed me aside last year he picked up the pieces, not because he wanted something from me but because he loved me. He never allowed me to hide my emotions or said that it would go away if I just stopped dwelling on it. He understood and he loved me enough to see what it was I needed. Ken is so much stronger than you think and now I might have lost him because I'm weak, because some idiotic part of my body is attracted to you!" Yoji blinked and took a step back.

"You're wrong Aya. You are strong… I've see the way you handle problems, missions, everything!"

"No Yoji, you've seen the mask I use. I break down after missions too, I have nightmares just like everybody else and things hurt me too, I just don't show it. You don't either Yoji so you should have known but you never took the time to look. Ken takes the time and not just when it comes to me. He's always going to be there for us no matter what we do, he's always going to try his hardest to help us even though neither one of us deserves it anymore. The only one Ken allows to be hurt, used and taken for granted is himself. I was supposed to keep that from happening and I failed so badly. Hell I didn't just fail to keep those things from happening to him, I fucking did them to him myself!" The lanky blonde stared at him in shock. Aya ran a shaky hand through his crimson hair and closed his eyes for a moment. He was such a failure.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yoji stared at the normally so cold and callous redhead. He didn't understand this at all. Aya had never talked to him like that before and he most certainly had never admitted to having weaknesses, flaws. How the hell could he have missed all of this?

"Then why did you come to me last christmas?" he almost whispered.

"Because I thought you wanted me Yoji. Not Aya the assassin, not Abyssinian, but Ran. It was never about sex," Aya sighed sadly. Yoji looked into his eyes and all the emotions in them seemed unreal. This was Aya the Icicle who never allowed anyone to see what he felt and still there he stood now with his feelings written all over his pale face.

"But I…" Yoji stuttered completely shocked.

"Don't you get it? It was never about being submissive! It was about me showing you that I trusted you, something you obviously failed to understand. That's what Ken gives me Yoji, that's what I give him." Aya closed his eyes for a moment.

"How can you say that you trust him when you won't let him…" Amethyst eyes opened again.

"When I won't let him what?"

"Well… when you won't let him…" Yoji was fumbling around in the dark now without a clue to what the hell was going on. It wasn't suppose to be like this.

"I love Ken. In our relationship we're equals Yoji. What makes you think that it's all about who's in charge? I do let him…"

"You…"

"Yes! I give myself to him just like I once did to you! But unlike you Ken never takes without giving. You have no idea of what kind of person Ken really is and you most likely never will."

"But I thought…"

"Well you thought wrong!" Aya snapped and narrowed his eyes. "I don't need you, I don't want you, do you get that?! Last christmas was a mistake Yoji, it should never have happened but it did and thanks to that I found that one person who made me feel things I didn't even know I could feel. If I've lost him completely I don't know what I'll do."

The sad and lost tone in the redhead's deep smooth voice caused Yoji to blink. The redhead before him with tears rolling down his cheeks was not Fujimiya Aya, Abyssinian, assassin and cold bastard, it was Fujimiya Ran a man just like any other man, with fears, insecurities, feelings and needs.

Yoji swallowed and closed his eyes. In his eager to claim Aya as his own, to have him he had forgotten that the redhead wasn't a toy, a trophy, but a human being that couldn't be owned. He had never meant for that to happen though because… because he did love Aya. Last christmas had meant so much to him but he had handled it all wrong. Too many years behind his playboy-mask had ruined his chances.

He should have focused on what he could give the redhead instead of what he could get from him. In his mind he could still see Aya's eyes and the fire that had burned in his heart that night a year ago. Then it had been burning for him but not now because he had torn the redhead apart by not understanding, by not being strong enough to be himself.

Aya had thought that he was someone to rely on but he had been anything but that. The redhead had given him his heart and he had simply tossed it aside because he didn't think he wanted or needed it, but he did. Yoji ran a shaky hand through his blonde hair. How could he have been so foolish?

And when he had seen what Ken and Aya had together he had been so jealous. He wanted that too but had no idea of how to get it so without thinking he had used the sexual attraction between himself and Aya to his advantage. In his head it had made perfect sense since he had been so sure that he had what the redhead needed but he had been wrong.

"I'm sorry," the blonde mumbled.

"Sorry won't make this alright. You used me Yoji, you took something from me that you can't give back," Aya said quietly. "And I let you." The redhead walked out of the living-room and Yoji did nothing to stop him. You were right in giving your heart to Ken, he thought and sank down on the couch. I pray that I haven't ruined things for the two of you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken quickly removed himself from the doorway when Aya turned around to leave. His heart was pounding like a drum and he just had to get out of there. As fast as he could the brunette grabbed his jacket, shoved his feet into his boots and ran out the door. The air was crisp and the starlit sky stretched out like a ceiling above him.

Aya's words rang in his ears and they made him feel so lost. He should have trusted the redhead, he should have been able to tell how he really felt. It was after all he, not Yoji, not Omi, who had seen the man behind the frosty mask Aya always wore. That complicated man had exposed himself to Ken and he had done it willingly, but why?

Ken couldn't figure it out but he had a feeling that the answer was simpler than he thought. Could it be that Aya had opened up just because he never had demanded him to? Or was it because… The brunette bit his lip. Or was it because the redhead trusted him?

Besides that there was another thing that really pained Ken. Aya had said that he was supposed to keep the brunette from being hurt, used and taken for granted but that he had failed. That wasn't true. The one that had failed wasn't the redhead, it was Ken himself. He had failed to trust, to have faith in Aya's love.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"He saw and heard everything," a soft voice said and Aya snapped his head to the left. Omi was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"He… Everything?" The little blonde nodded and tilted his head slightly.

"Ken-kun saw and heard you and Yoji-kun in the kitchen too." Aya closed his eyes and damned himself. Why did he have to be so weak?

"Then there's nothing I can do," he said more to himself than to Omi.

"I think you two have spent too much time together," younger assassin muttered and glared a little at the redhead.

"You two who?"

"You and Ken-kun, you're starting to act the same way. Both so willing to just give up, so sure that this can't be fixed," Omi said and shook his head. "Go talk to him! Make him listen!" The small blonde walked pass Aya and headed for the living-room.

"But I don't know where he is."

"I just said that you two act the same way, didn't I?" The redhead nodded but he didn't understand what Omi was getting at now. "Look outside Aya-kun, it's snowing."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The pale moon's light reflected off the white cover on the ground and the flakes that fell glistened. Slowly Aya walked down the sidewalk in search of Ken. The air was crisp and he needed it to clear his head. For so long his mind had been fighting with itself but not anymore.

He had been blind when it came to Yoji and he didn't exactly know why. Perhaps it was just the simple fact that he was, or rather had been, attracted to the blonde. It didn't matter anymore, actually it had never mattered at all except exactly a year ago.

Happy people walked pass him and wished him a Merry Christmas. He didn't say it back because it would not be merry until he could mend the damage he had done. Silently he turned left and finally found what he was looking for.

A perfect creature was standing about 25 meters away from him, looking up at the falling snow. Tears sparkled on his cheeks and his posture was defeated. Carefully he approached the man, not sure of what to say. Before he could come up with anything, sad eyes turned to meet his.

"I… it's snowing." Aya nodded and glanced up into the falling snow.

"I'm sorry." Ken met his eyes and sighed.

"I'm sorry too Aya. I shouldn't have… I didn't mean to…" A pale hand rose and stopped the brunette's stammering.

"No Ken. I should have explained to you what I was going through instead of just hiding it. And I should have been able to show you, tell you, how I feel about you, what you mean to me," the redhead said softly. "I betrayed your trust Ken and I'm so sorry for that."

"I… I didn't trust you." It was barely a whisper but Aya heard it.

"You didn't have any reason to trust me though. I haven't given you any," he said sadly and closed his eyes for a moment.

"That's not true!" Ken objected loudly and stepped a little closer. "You said that you should have told me about this well I should have told you too… I should have told you that I was scared, that I didn't know if I dared to believe in you, that I thought… thought you would go back to Yoji the second he asked you to."

"Do you know why I always go outside to watch when it snows?" Ken gave him a confused look.

"Um no…"

"Snowflakes are cold, you can't hold them because they'll just melt away but they still look pretty and they're never alone. You never see just one snowflake."

"I don't understand Aya?" the brunette admitted and got a small sad smile from Aya.

"I used to feel like a snowflake Ken. So cold, so impossible for anyone to hold. I was afraid that if I'd let anyone try I'd disappear. But unlike the snow I was always alone. Just one lonely cold creature waiting to melt away." The redhead looked at the slightly shorter man in front of him and sighed. "But… it all changed. Someone changed it, showed me that I didn't need to be afraid. He gave me what I needed even though I didn't know I needed it back then and he showed me that I could be held and that I could hold someone."

"Yoji…"

"No, not Yoji. It was you Ken. Yoji showed me things too, he showed me what I didn't need, what I didn't want and even more so he taught me that we all make mistakes. But although I regret how that happened I don't regret that it did happened Ken." Aya kept his voice quiet and it was soft since he was fighting against the tears.

"You don't regret sleeping with him?!" Ken asked with a sharp and hurt tone in his voice.

"Not really. Do you remember what happened that night?" The brunette seemed to be thinking for a moment before he answered.

"I found you outside, without any coat on, you're lips were turning blue and you… you were crying. I didn't know what to do, how to help you. It was scary seeing you like that because…"

"I always seemed so strong," Aya filled in and smiled a little. "You never asked me what happened, you never pressured me to do anything. Instead you lead me back inside, wrapped me in a blanket and laid me down on the couch."

"You couldn't sleep and I… I remembered what my mother used to do when I couldn't sleep when I was little," Ken mumbled. His eyes were distant and he sounded like he was far far away. "I sat beside you the whole night, rubbing your back, humming songs until I got hoarse but by then you had fallen asleep."

"When I woke up you were lying all over me, draped over my side like another blanket, protecting me. It was then and there that I understood what I needed and wanted," Aya continued when Ken's voice trailed off. "I wanted and needed someone who I could give my heart to without having to fear that it would be mistreated or tossed aside, someone who would love me no matter what I was, someone who needed me too." Brown eyes stared at him.

"But I…" Aya raised his hand so that he could finish.

"Right then I didn't know that that someone was you, I only knew that I was looking for someone like you but… You took care of me Ken even though you didn't have to, you allowed me to be weak, you allowed me to be lost, to find my own way. I didn't fall in love with you because you helped me Ken, I fell in love with you because you are you and because with you I don't have to be anyone else but me. You've never tried to change me, you just accepted me the way I was."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken stared at the redhead in wonder. The things Aya were saying made him see everything in a new light. He had never understood how the redhead felt before even though he had heard so many 'I love you's'. Guilt burned inside of him because of that. He should have paid more attention to what was between the lines when Aya had spoken to him.

"I didn't… understand," the brunette almost whispered.

"And I didn't try to explain," Aya replyed softly. "I should have though. I don't want this to be the end Ken, I don't want to lose you." Ken swallowed and shuddered.

"I don't want that either," he mumbled and took another step towards the redhead.

"Do you know how it feels?" Ken gave Aya a confused look not quite sure what 'it' was. "When you hold me in your arms, when I'm lying next to you," the redhead continued.

"I… No…" Aya set his amethyst gaze on the falling snow for a moment before he answered.

"It feels right, I feel like I'm home. It's not the house, not my room, not Weiß, it's you Ken. You are my home." Ken blinked. He had never thought he was that important to Aya, that he meant that much. "I love you so much." The redhead met his eyes again and for the first time Ken really, really, looked into them. Those amethyst orbs that could hide anything, or show it all like an open book said everything now.

"I love you too Aya, more than I can handle sometimes," the brunette said softly, honestly. "It scares me."

"It scares me too Ken. But no matter how frightening it might be I want to give you my heart, I want you to have it." Ken blinked. It was almost as if Aya knew what he had been feeling, that he wasn't sure that he had the redhead's heart. "You're only getting it and me, I don't have anything else to offer you," Aya whispered and the small tremble in his voice told the brunette how afraid he was.

"Aya I don't want anything else, I could never ask for anything more." He pulled the redhead close to him and buried his frost-nipped face against his coat. Standing there in Aya's arms Ken truly understood what the redhead meant when he said that it was home.

It was snowing heavily as they hid in each other, drawing warmth and security from their love. The brunette closed his eyes and drew in the spicy smell that was Aya. He had almost lost it all but the redhead had fought for them.

"Home is where the heart is." Ken glanced up at the quiet statement.

"What?" Aya smiled at him, smiled the smile that was reserved only for the brunette.

"Home is where the heart is," the redhead repeated. "My heart is with you, so you are my home." Ken laughed softly and pulled down the taller man's face to his.

"You're a strange man Fujimiya Ran," he murmured and pressed his lips to Aya's cold ones, "but I love you anyways, strange or not." The redhead silenced him by deepening the kiss. Ken's heart pounded when he tasted his lover's mouth again.

"I love you too even though you drag me to soccer-games where I freeze my butt off," Aya mumbled when they broke apart.

"Admit it you like watching soccer with me!" The redhead rolled his eyes a little but he was smiling. "Hm speaking of freezing butts maybe we should head back home?" Ken asked and snuggled closer.

"Ken…" The brunette looked up and met Aya's eyes. "What's going to happen now?" It was asked so quietly that Ken almost missed it.

"Now we're going back inside, sit down and warm up, christmas presents will be handed out, kissing and snuggling will take place and then me and you are going to go to bed… together!" Ken said firmly before he wrapped one arm around Aya's slender waist.

"But…"

"No buts. Aya, we both made mistakes and I know we've learnt from them, let's not waste any more time dwelling on them. I don't like myself when you're not there and… it hurts."

"Somewhere in my life I must have done something really good since I found you…" Ken gave the taller redhead a grin and pulled Aya's left arm around his shoulders.

"Actually I was the one who found you, remember? Now let's get you inside, you're lips are all blue."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A yawn escaped the warm, contented and sleepy redhead. He wanted to go to bed but the truth was that he was enjoying being where he was too much to actually move. Ken yawned too and wrapped his arms tighter around Aya's waist. They were sitting on the couch infront of the christmas tree, or rather Ken was sitting on the couch with Aya on his lap. It probably looked ridiculous but neither of them cared.

Aya yawned again and rested his chin against the brunette's hair. There had been a tense moment when they came back and Ken came face to face with a very subdued Yoji. Those two were not going to get along for a while but Aya knew that his lover wouldn't hold the grudge against the blonde forever, it wasn't his style.

"Bed," Ken suddenly murmured and suffocated a yawn.

"Hn," the redhead grunted almost half asleep.

"Bed."

"In a mi…" A huge yawn interrupted Aya and made the brunette chuckle. "…nt."

"In a what?"

"Minute," the redhead muttered and nipped at Ken's ear.

"Come on now koi I'm tired and I want to cuddle up with you in bed." Now that was a tempting idea that Aya couldn't object to. Slowly the tall redhead got to his feet and stretched before he pulled his lover up. Together they headed for the stairs.

"It's actually too late but Merry Christmas Ken," Aya suddenly said just as Ken crawled inbetween the sheets. The brunette glanced at the time.

"Better late then never ne? Merry Christmas to you too Aya, now get your butt over here." The redhead chuckled softly and did as he was told. They snuggled up together and Aya put his head on Ken's strong warm chest. Yes this was his home, where he belonged and where he wanted to be. He fell asleep with a small smile on his lips.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yoji quietly left his room and headed for the kitchen. It had been a strange christmas eve but at least it had ended with less pain than the previous one. The tall blonde shook his head as he poured himself some water. He had some serious apologizing to do to Ken and to Aya but at least his two team-mates were still together, the way they should be.

One day he might find someone he could belong together with the way the redhead and the brunette belonged together, Yoji hoped he would at least. But first he would have to learn who Kudou Yoji really was again. Being a playboy was fun but it was lonely. Maybe that was why he had so desperately tried to win Aya back? Didn't matter, what did matter was that he hadn't succeeded and he was glad he hadn't.

The lanky blonde put away his glass and strolled into the living-room to turn off the lights. On his way over to the tree he saw a velvet box on the table. He recognized it from earlier as Aya's present from Ken. Curious he opened it.

The brunette's gift to his lover was two necklaces. Each had a round pendant with an engraving on one side. On one of them there was a katana crossed with a flower and entwined in them was the letter R. The other one was the same except that the katana had been replaced with a clawed glove and the letter was a K.

Smiling Yoji put them down again and headed for the tree. After he had turned the lights off he walked back upstairs but he didn't go into his own room. First he tip-toed over to Aya's and carefully pushed the door ajar. The room was dark but there was some light coming in from the street outside.

His two team-mates were asleep and the way the were lying brought back Aya's words to Yoji. The redhead had said that he was the one who needed to be held. Judging by how Aya was draped over Ken's chest with the brunette's arms tightly wrapped around him that was true.

Yoji sighed a little and closed the door again. It still hurt to see them so close, it still made him jealous but it was also different from before. He had used to be jealous that Ken had Aya because he was so sure he could have had the redhead. Now he knew better and what he was jealous about was more that they had each other than anything else.

A little sad and feeling sort of lonely the lanky blonde went back to bed. To ease the silence of his room Yoji put on the radio. At least he hadn't ruined things for his two friends and that was the most important thing. He closed his eyes and listened to the christmas song that was playing. The lyrics reminded him of the mess he had created and he smiled a little.

Whoever the singer was he was right, now that Aya had found a real love he would never be fooled again. Not by anyone, and certainly not by Yoji.

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well it's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying 'I love you' I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

~OWARI~

If you read 'When I Don't Remember' you might recognize the necklaces *G* I couldn't help myself but using them in here too. Seemed like a good gift for Ken to give to Aya ne?

Sorry for Aya being so OOC but um well couldn't work around it and believe me I tried!!! I feel sorta bad for Yoji though, he's lonely but I just couldn't let him win this 'cause he wasn't playing fair. Suppose I could have fixed him up with Omi but that would have made this story strange… um okay so stranger then *L*

Well I hope you liked it and that I didn't make anyone cry or anything. Been told that I tend to do that *hangs head in shame and grins*

To all of you from all of me *well that sounded weird* A Very Merry Christmas! Ja/Atsureki