The... first... Animal Crossing... fanfic... to... be... written... in... PLAY FORMAT!
Disclaimer: (over radio) I *static* own Animal Crossing! Okay? So the lawyers *static* get me: I *static* own Animal Crossing! I'm so... legal!
This is the home of the main character's family. Mystky is not a bright child, but he'll do. Mystly, has always wanted to run away, and he has just gotten a chance...
MYSTKY. La la la la la...
MYSTKY'S MOM. Stop that irritating singing, son!
MYSTKY. Mom, I'm saying "La la la la la."
MYSTKY'S MOM. Son! You dare say the "S" word! You're grounded for 10 gazillion weeks!
MYSTKY. ...
MYSTKY'S MOM. Silence! Don't you dare not speak to me, son!
MYSTKY. Okay, mom!
Suddenly, Mystky's Mom died!
MYSTKY. That was a strange turn of events!
Mystky was sad.
MYSTKY. I am? (realization dawns upon him) Oh yeah! I am! Um, boo hoo. Whatever.
So, Mystky decided to run away.
MYSTKY. ...
MYSTKY. I think I'll run away!
SOME RANDOM GUY INSIDE MYSTKY. Don't do it...
ANOTHER RANDOM GUY INSIDE MYSTKY. Do it...
MYSTKY. Hiya, Some! Hiya, Another! Hey! Did you guys know your surname is my first name?
SOME. No way!
MYSTKY. Then let's dance!
~-~-~-~
He was a boy, she was a girl.
Another walked over to the mysterious sudden appearance of spiked punch.
Can I make it anymore obvious?
Suddenly, a ROCK appeared out of nowhere.
He was a punk, she did ballet.
ROCK. (trips Another)
What more can I say?
Another started to fall in slow motion, while Some and Mystky were chatting about the resemblance between George Washington and Pikachu (A/N: Can't you see it?), oblivious to what was happening.
He wanted her, she'd never tell.
ANOTHER. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSPLAT! (sound of him hitting the floor and dying)
Secretly she want—
MYSTKY. (taking out CD) Okay. What the heck does "sk8er boi" (A/N: Which I don't own.) have to do with Another dying?
SOME. Don't look at me!
Suddenly, an obvious realization dawned upon Mystky.
MYSTKY. An obvious realization just dawned upon me!
SOME. What?
MYSTKY. ...I forget! Let's get some Coke!
SOME. Okay!
~-~-~-~
ROVER. Hum de hum hum hum... I'm so darn stupid and oblivious to what is going around me. Hum de hum...
REVOR. SHADDUP! (kills Rover)
~-~-~-~
MYSTKY. Let's run away to Mystkyville!
SOME. Where's that?
MYSTKY. Where Mystkyville is.
~-~-~-~
MYSTKY. Hey Train! Do you know where the train is? We... O hi!
TRAIN. ...
MYSTKY. Train, you know, it isn't polite to not answer one's question. I learned that in Geometry class!
TRAIN. ...
REVOR. (really wanting to kill Mystky) Hello, sir! Where are you going?
MYSTKY. To Mystkyville!
REVOR. (trying to sound like Rover) I like that place!
MYSTKY. Really? I didn't know it existed...
REVOR. Okay. Oh well. Now it does!
~-~-~-~
REVOR. Mind if I sit here?
SOME. Yes.
REVOR. Thanks! It's so nice to see rude people out here. (purposely sits really hard on Some)
SOME. (dies)
MYSTKY. There has been much causality today!
SOME. I know. Wait... (dies again)
REVOR. (thinking) 'Man, is it hard to be stupid.' (speaking) Where are you going?
MYSTKY. I said, Mystkyville! Get it right!
REVOR. I... I... (checks notes) love that place!
MYSTKY. I never knew it existed!
REVOR. Well, cities can prosper overnight, you know. Are you moving?
MYSTKY. Well, of course I am! What kind of stupid question is that! I have a suitcase with all of my belongings in it! Of course I am!
REVOR. ...You don't have a suitcase.
MYSTKY. ...I don't have any belongings.
REVOR. Really? Well, do you have any bells?
MYSTKY. Yep! 2, 876, 980 of them.
REVOR. You're only supposed to have 1,000!
MYSTKY. Oh no! What will I do?
REVOR. Here, I'll take the rest. (takes 2, 875, 890 bells from Mystky)
MYSTKY. Thanks!
REVOR. ...idiot. *ahem* How many bells do you have?
MYSTKY. 1,000.
REVOR. 1,00! That's it? You should have 2, 875, 890 of them. That's how many I have. (holds up bag of bells)
MYSTKY. Wow! You are lucky!
REVOR. ...
MYSTKY. ...
REVOR. ...
MYSTKY. So... aren't you supposed to call Tom Nook now?
REVOR. Takes too long.
MYSTKY. ...Hey! You're not Rover!
REVOR. (gasps) How did you know?
MYSTKY. (beams) Obey the script. (holds up a script)
REVOR. ...then who am I?
MYSTKY. I... I haven't thought about that yet. (another sudden realization dawns upon Mystky) You must be Tom Nook!
REVOR. (sweatdrops)
MYSTKY. 1) You're not me.
REVOR. ...
MYSTKY. 2) You aren't Rover.
REVOR. ...
MYSTKY. 3) You're Tom Nook!
PORTER. We're at Mystkyville!
MYSTKY. Too bad I'm going to Mystkyville, and not Mystkyville.
REVOR AND PORTER. GET OUT! (throws Mystky out of the window)
~-~-~-~
Crappy? Yes. Terrible? Yes. Awful? Yes. Horrible? Yes. (pulls out thesaurus) Poor, appalling, dreadful, frightful, nasty, hideous, and downright bad? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and downright yes. But it's still funny... isn't it?