bear with me here.this is my first jthm fic.actually, my first fic at all. if you don't like it please tell me but please don't flame me. all of these poems are written from nny's pov. jthm and all other related stuff belong to jhonen vasquez and not me.

1: strange (to devi, in a way)

very few things can make me cry like you can

it's rather strange

i'm quite perplexed

it's so strange to meet another being

and not be clouded with hate

how unusual to see beauty

in the stead of things i despise

so peculiar

i've never been this happy before

and at the same time filled with rage

i found it hard to believe that you could actually like me

all i've ever known is darkness

so i was blinded by your light

i'm not asking you to forgive me

i'm asking you to let me forgive myself

what a piece of shit i am

goodbye

2: somewhere

somewhere between the sacred silence and the noises i hear in my head

somewhere between the oppressive darkness and violent light

somewhere between the manic fits and the paranoid depressions

somewhere between the take off and the impact

somewhere between the spilled blood and the holy water

is a scared little boy who just needs to be alone for a while



3: of bitterness

it's so easy to just say you hate something

to let their sickness cloud your mind

an easy out to let them hurt you

so that you have the excuse to hurt them back

you can trivialize your problems with their pain

sometimes i just wish i could let go of everything

and that everything would let go of me

i want to fly form here

but i seem to have lost my wings

i see the blood all over my hands

whatever i touch is clouded

but you don't give a damn, do you?



4: importance

i lose things now

i can't remember what i did with my soul

i guess it isn't that important



why wont' you talk to me

my inner voiced are silent now

i guess it wasn't that important



all of you are silent now

all that is left is me and your blood

i guess you aren't that important



i can't remember the last time i smiled

i look in the mirror and see a stained stranger

i guess i was never that important

5: desensitized

i've done horrid things

with this pair of salad tongs

the places this knife has been

would make a grown man cry

this screwdriver

oh god if only it could talk (and i think it has before)

these tweezers-

you don't want to know

this noose

has been very good to me over the years

this old pair of silver chopsticks

conducts electricity surprisingly well

and this pair of pliers-

oh, i'm sorry, did you want cheese on your sandwich?