2 Dol-Goldur
(A/N: My dear, dear readers, if there are any left, I'm finally updating! This chapter came out rather long, so I've split it into two parts, meant to be read together. Standard disclaimer applies- all characters belong to Master Tolkien, the situations, mostly, to me. Thanks, as always, to my betas Tom and Joannie, and to Nemis, Finch and Deborah for inspiring me. I'm using several of their fics as reference to history- see if you can spot them! Official thanks will come with the next chapter, hopefully soon. Enjoy.)
The army of Lorien prepared to march on Dol Goldur. In their private chambers on top of the oldest mallorn in the forest, Celeborn and Galadriel prepared to join them. Celeborn frowned at his wife.
"There is no way for me to convince you to stay, is there?"
"My Lord, you know that I must join you." She replied sweetly.
" Don't 'my Lord' me, Galadriel. There is no need for you to risk yourself in battle. Come after we have defeated them." Celeborn sighed, shrugging into his mithril mail shirt. His wife gave him a reproving look.
"I can fight almost as well as you, husband. Trust me, for I will be needed to cleanse the forest of the evil that dwells there." She put on her own armor, unused for many Ages of the world. "Oh, but this is heavier than I remember."
"I'm surprised that you remember at all." Celeborn said, silencing his wife's offended exclamation with a kiss. "It has been a while, beloved." He added, and she nodded ruefully. "Are you sure you can use that?" he pointed at the long sword, elegant and practical, at Galadriel's side.
"Ask me once more and I shall prove it, youngling." Galadriel warned him, and he smiled. He'd missed their private banter, their loving jokes and jabs that no one knew about, such as their references to the age difference between them. He raised one hand defensively.
"Peace, my wife. It trust in your ability, rusty as it may be." In truth, they had both practiced swordplay every day in the week that had passed since the passing of the Shadow, and she was indeed fairly good. "But please, stay behind the main force."
"And where will you be, husband mine?" she asked, already knowing the answer.
"I will lead my people, as you well know. Many of our warriors have been lost. Help me, please." He turned his back to her, and she helped him buckle on his great sword and his quiver. Then she turned and he did the same for her.
"Very well, Celeborn. I will try to stay behind the lines." She sighed again, "Although I am certain that I will not need to draw a weapon against our enemies." She still seemed sad, insecure and distant. Celeborn hugged her carefully so as not to damage her arrows. He knew why she felt that way, and her eyes, drawn to the ring on her finger, confirmed it.
"You do not need the Ring to defeat the darkness." He repeated for the umpteenth time that week. "We can overcome them. Trust in yourself." She nodded.
"Indeed. Well, the troops are ready to leave, and may this be the last time an elf must fight the darkness." Galadriel stood up and took her husband's hand. Arm in arm, equally armored and carrying weapons, they walked to the stables.
Despite Celeborn's wishes and her own promise, Galadriel insisted on riding at the head of the column, working her magic to heal the war-torn forests of fair Lothlorien. Although spring would never again come to the Golden Wood, there was a feeling of awakening and growth in the air. The Lady's presence was an inspiration to the army and a joy to her husband, who rarely left her side. Only at night, in the privacy of their tent, did Galadriel share her doubts and depression. The loss of the Rings had effected her profoundly and the sea was calling to her again. Celeborn knew that their time together was growing short, and he wanted to use it well.
For weeks the army met only roving bands of orcs, easily disposed of with no losses to the elves, thanks to the Lady's healing. She continued to heal the land as she walked through it, sending out scouts with the magic dust of Lorien to replant trees and restore the flowers. As the weeks went by, the forests grew darker and starker, and the influence of evil more clear. Galadriel grit her teeth and fought harder. At long last they reached the gates of Dol-Goldur.
There seem to be many orcs behind the walls, my Lord, but the walls themselves are weak and the enemy's command is gone." Haldir, chief archer of Lorien, reported. "I believe we can start the attack when the rest of the force joins us tomorrow."
"Agreed." Celeborn nodded. The main force traveled more slowly through the restored land, and was the one who dealt with the bigger scouting parties of orcs. "Attack tomorrow, when the sun is high. For now, tell the troops to get all the practice they can. Our army, despite the recent wars, has been idle too long."
Haldir bristled at the disparagement of his army, but Celeborn laid a calming hand on his arm. "I mean no offence, Haldir. Your troops are well trained, but this is new and unfamiliar terrain. Scout out some strategic position for the archers, and have them test their range. It would only be fair to let the orcs know our intentions." The Lord smiled, and Haldir smiled back. The younger elf had an almost unhealthy interest in killing orcs. He reminded Celeborn of his own grandchildren sometimes. Elladan and Elrohir had taken their revenge on orcs ever since their mother left for the West. He hoped to see them again soon, for more than one night as they stopped in Lorien during one of their hunts. Celeborn shook himself back into the present, and turned to his wife. "Would you like to practice with me, or are you tired?" he asked, seeing again how pale her ivory skin had become.
"Never too tired, my love." She smiled, "I'll enjoy a distraction."
"It that all I am? A distraction?" Celeborn carefully modulated his voice so that she knew he was joking. They had had that argument in earnest shortly after she had received the ring, and had moved on, secure in each other's love. The return to the old debate was meant to lighten the mood, and it did. "Be not distracted, my dear. I'd hate to bruise you."
"Oh, you dare not even try!" Galadriel hopped down from her horse and pulled a blunt training sword from her pack. Celeborn dismounted and did the same.
"Are you sure you do not wish to change first?" Celeborn eyes Galadriel's long flowing traveling clothes.
"I'll never change, my love." She replied, smiling wide, and attacked with more force than he'd expected, making him defend himself. They dodged, parried and feinted, neither one noticing the gathering crowd around them. After a while Galadriel, already drained by weeks of fighting back the darkness, began to tire. Taking advantage of a moment of gracelessness when his wife tripped on her long skirt, Celeborn knocked the sword from her hand. He was unprepared for a more intimate attack, and so was completely shocked when she launched herself at him bodily, knocking him to the ground and pinning him down. He could've overpowered he, but at that moment he noticed that half his army was watching. Thus, he did nothing to stop her as she lowered her head and kissed him deeply. Even as he responded and enjoyed the unexpected display of affection, Celeborn thanked the Valar for making the elves polite. Human soldiers would have never let him hear the end of it. As it was, a quiet chuckle drew Galadriel sharply away from her husband and brought a scarlet flush to her face.
"I apologize, my husband. I forgot myself." She rose quickly, looking away. He got to his feet and drew her to him.
"Never apologize, my Lady. Your kisses are as welcome as they are sweet. Let them watch." He kissed her again. She murmured something against his mouth, and he gave her a questioning look.
"We shouldn't be doing this in public." She repeated.
"Quite." He agreed. "Shall we adjourn to our tent then?" there was a twinkle in his eyes that deepened Galadriel blushing.
"As soon as propriety allows, beloved." She replied in the High Elven tongue, which Celeborn understood and most of their companions- Silvan elves- did not. He nodded s, fighting back an un-kingly grin.
"Very well, we have entertained you." He called to the gathered elves. "Now let us set up camp and let the orcs know we're here!" The elves cheered and scattered.
"Now then, my Lady, I believe we have somewhere to be." Celeborn linked his arm with his wife's, and led her to their pavilion. They entered and closed the flap door firmly behind them, leaving their soldiers to smile and whisper among themselves as they prepared to rid Dol-Goldur forever of the evil that dwelt there.
The next morning the Lord and Lady surveyed their troops with easier hearts and minds than they'd had in a while. The night, although they had had little rest, had been well spent. The main force had arrived, and the sun was peeping over the trees when Celeborn gave the signal and the horns blew. Riding in straight lines, with banners of white, silver and green, the elven fighters marched towards the gates of Dol-Goldur.
The first charge was short, but the elves then retreated and settled down for a siege. They didn't want to risk themselves needlessly, and what is time to an elf after all? Compared to the siege during the Last Alliance, which most of them still remembered, spending month outside Dol-Goldur would be like waiting moments. They were fully ready to wait the orcs out. The orcs were demoralized and unsupported by the evil power of Sauron, but they still had some fighting spirit left, as well as ample supplies. The elves were equally well supplied, and would occupy themselves with the forests around Dol-Goldur. Soon, it would be the only island of .evil in them. That evening, however, as they were resting after the first attack, Galadriel gave her husband a questioning look.
"Why do we not attack again, beloved? I grow weary of being far from home, and believe we can afford to be less cautious."
"Caution is a virtue, dearest. There are so few of us left, and I'd hate to lose anyone." Celeborn frowned. Galadriel's eyes closed for an instant then glowed a deep blue when they opened. Her voice took on an echoing quality as she slipped into what Celeborn privately called 'Doom Mode'.
"None shall be lost." She intoned, "the time is right." She blinked and was normal again. Celeborn knew better than to argue with his wife when she got prophetic. "Well, what are you waiting for?" She asked sharply. The Lord of Lorien sighed, put down his spoon, and went to talk to his captains about attacking first thing in the morning.
~~~~~`
The gates of Dol-Goldur fell with an almost pathetic ease. It took just over an hour for them to collapse and less than a day to dispose of the remaining orcs, who barely put up a fight. Galadriel went against her husband's wishes again and was among the first to enter the foul place, her mere presence scattering the orcs and sending them into the other elves' arms. She did shed some black blood that day, but had enough energy to heal those whose condition was the worst. Not many elves were injured, and none killed. The fortress was an empty shell that night, but the elves again set up camp outside, waiting for the final cleansing the next day.
Late that night, Galadriel was pacing nervously around the tent, having finally changed out of her armor. Celeborn gave her a worried look.
"Is something amiss, beloved?" He asked, setting up their bedrolls, "You're wearing a path in the grass." Indeed, where the Lady had walked the grass was beginning to look trampled, which showed her emotions all too clearly. For grass to be disturbed by the feet of an elf, she would have to stomp on it with real force.
"Something is most certainly amiss!" Galadriel snapped. She pointed at her sword, leaning again a wall. "Look at that!"
"It seems to be a sword." Celeborn said noncommittally. He noted the black stains on the silver blade. "You seem to have forgotten to clean it."
"I left it that way on purpose." Galadriel pivoted, staring at the sword, then went back to pacing. "I killed today, Celeborn." She said, "For the first time in longer than I care to count, I killed."
"This is a war, my wife. People kill or they are eventually killed. Also, they were orcs." Celeborn replied.
"Orcs are also Iluvatar's creatures." Galadriel countered. 'You taught me that long ago. Their blood is on my hands."
"They are the creatures of Eru, true, but they are also evil, and they threaten our realm. They are abominations, and must be destroyed." Celeborn said, stung. It was true that he despised killing, but the years had hardened his heart somewhat, and he was, after all, fighting in defense of his kingdom. "Come, beloved. You need your rest tonight, and your strength for tomorrow's ritual."
"I cannot rest." Galadriel waved her hand. "The sights haunt me."
"I do not understand," Celeborn shook his head, puzzled, "You have seen so many wars, much worse battles than this one. Why does today disturb you so?"
"Not the sights of today." Galadriel sank down into a chair. "You are right- I have seen many wars, too much death and pain, and I can feel every drop of it pressing down on me. I am weary, Celeborn. I cannot afford to add to all this suffering, even if they are orcs." She realized she was rambling and stopped herself. Celeborn pulled up another chair and picked up a hairbrush. After millennia of marriage, he knew just how to calm his difficult mate down. When he saw that she wasn't going to object, he started to undo her braids carefully, brushing out the mass of her golden hair. When all the combs were out and his wife's magnificent mantle of hair was brushed out, he moved it forward and started massaging her shoulders. Long, precise fingers worked out the tension of a day spent swinging a heavy sword and thinking heavier thoughts. Galadriel sighed and melted into his touch. "If you think this will make me forget," she murmured, "You're probably right."
"Good. The killing was not your fault, Galadriel. You cannot take upon yourself the blame for every war since the rising of the Moon." Celeborn continued the massage, and felt her relax slowly under his hands.
"I do not take the blame, but I can still feel the loss of every soul. So many have died this past year. Men, dwarves, even hobbits. The elven nations have been lucky so far, and now we have won with no real major losses." She replied. "Our time is over, yet we are allowed to pass on with dignity. The orcs' time is also over, yet they are not given that same dignity."
"Eru likes us better." Celeborn shrugged, not wanting to trouble himself with such thoughts. He knew that he, at least, had many years yet before the sea started calling to him. Galadriel stiffened and he swore silently as half an hour's work was lost.
"Eru loves all his children equally." She said hotly, and then added woefully, "I do not deserve his love." Celeborn closed his eyes and counted to ten in dwarvish.
"Not that again, beloved. This self-pity ill becomes you." The issue hadn't been brought up since Celebrian left, and Galadriel had been melancholy for years afterwards. "The Valar have nothing against you personally." He didn't say that she'd done nothing to offend them, for they both knew that she had. She simply took her guilt a lot more seriously than Celeborn suspected the Valar did, after all these years.
"Yes they do!" Galadriel insisted, shaking him off and rising. "Why won't they let me back if they don't hate me? Why does the Doom of Mandos lie on me as well?"
"How do you know that it does?" Celeborn didn't want to be dragged into that argument again, but even his considerable patience was close to its end. As much as he loved and cherished his wife, her short bouts of depression irritated him sometimes, especially when she talked of the Kinslaying, in which many of his family had been killed, or of the ruin of Doriath.
"They won't let me go back!" Galadriel almost wailed, and Celeborn's patience snapped.
"You never even tried."
Galadriel froze. "What did you say?" Celeborn realized he may have gone too far, but repeated himself anyway.
"I said that you've never tried to go back." Galadriel spun around and glared at him.
"How dare you." She hissed coldly, her eyes frozen orbs of gray, advancing on him, "How dare you talk to me this way?" He saw the outrage in her eyes and backed away, but wasn't fast enough to avoid the back of her hand, which collided with his face painfully. "How DARE you?" She screeched.
"I dare because I consider myself your friend, as well as your husband and lover." Celeborn replied, touching a hand to his cut lip, "And because you've never tried to return to the Undying Lands, and can't even be sure you won't be allowed in. Valinor may be waiting for you with open arms." Now he knew that he'd gone too far to come back, and resolved to try and end the conflict as fast as he could.
"So you'd rather I left?" She asked angrily. In the face of her growing fury, Celeborn's own anger faded away, leaving him simply tired of the fight.
"I only want you to be happy, beloved." He said earnestly.
"Don't call me that." She yelled, "You have no right."
"I have a right because I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I also have a duty to my land, as do you." If he allowed it to continue, Celeborn knew that the fight might destroy what little time they had left together. Their disagreements were rare, but could last for years if allowed to go unresolved. "You are distraught, my lady, and weary. We will discuss this further in the morning, if you so wish." That usually worked, separating them until they both calmed down. This time, however, it failed.
"I will not be pacified like a child, Celeborn. You will explain yourself." She said haughtily.
"Is that an order, my lady?" He asked just as coldly, "I remind you that I am your equal, and you cannot force me to do as you wish. Besides, I believe that I explained myself perfectly well earlier."
"You dare question my authority now?" Galadriel pulled herself to her full height, and stood eye to eye with her husband, gathering an aura of majesty around her, "We shall see." She thrust her hand forward. Her own personal force hit Celeborn like a stone wall, and he had to use every bit of his own impressive strength to stay standing. He braced himself, ready for the power of the Ring to annihilate him, whispering a short prayer to Elbereth.
The realization that there was no Ring hit them both at the same time. Celeborn started breathing again, and allowed his suddenly weak legs to fold beneath him, sinking slowly to the floor. Galadriel gasped and lowered her hand, blood draining from her face.
"Oh, Celeborn…Eru, I would've…I could've…Eru, forgive me, I didn't mean to-" She lowered herself to the floor as well, finding that she lacked the energy to stand. "I'm sorry. Could you ever forgive me? I-" She hugged herself, tears of shame and frustration at her inability to explain herself running down her face.
"Ever is a long time, Galadriel," Celeborn finally found his voice, though it was quieter and shakier than before, "And I will try to understand." He paused as his breath caught, then steadied himself and continued, "I love you, my wife, and will continue to love you even in Mandos, should you send me there. You were upset." He did not reach out for her, still wary, and his eyes told her nothing.
"I'm so sorry…" She repeated, still stunned by her own actions. Celeborn picked himself up and held out a hand to help her stand.
"It is late." The absence of the small endearments he usually used spoke volumes and hurt the lady more than shouting and blame ever could've. "We should both rest."
"We should." She agreed meekly, rising and making her way to her bedroll. They would probably both sleep the mortal way that night, Celeborn thought, for it was a better escape from reality then the elven way, and they needed it. He extinguished the candles and lay down, trying to calm himself, but it took him almost an hour to stop shaking. He heard his wife's stifled sobs and felt his own eyes fill. Suddenly a pair of gentle hands wrapped themselves around him and he shuddered.
"I love you, Celeborn." She whispered, "and I'm truly, really sorry."
Celeborn didn't trust his voice, and made no reply, but sent all the love he could through their bond. Galadriel simply hid her face in his hair and cried harder. Eventually she fell into the deep slumber of mortals and exhausted elves, but Celeborn lay there for hours, not even going into elf-sleep, just thinking.