I forced a marriage on an Elf;
Somebody snitched on me.
Went with the Fellowship myself;
Somebody snitched on me.
I wrote farfetched A/L slash;
Took part in a Boromir bash;
Scorned the canon – worthless trash!
Somebody snitched on me.
(Refrain) Oh, I'm gettin' Nuzgûl for Christmas—
My fellow authors are mad.
I'm gettin' Nuzgûl for Christmas
'Cause my work ain't been nuttin' but bad.
I fell in love with Legolas;
Somebody snitched on me.
I posted ill-spelled, hackneyed dross;
Somebody snitched on me.
Said an Elf fell from a tree;
Went with Frodo and skipped Bree;
Claimed there's more than one Gofi;
Somebody snitched on me.
(Refrain) So I'm gettin' Nuzgûl for Christmas—
My fellow authors are mad.
I'm gettin' Nuzgûl for Christmas
'Cause my work ain't been nuttin' but bad.
So you better write good, whatever you do,
'Cause if you don't, I'm warning you,
You'll get Nuzgûl for Christmas!