.:Disclaimers:. Saint Seyia characters are Masami Kurumada's. The reporter doesn't exist but on this fic. The sitcom doesn't exist as well (in reality, "Black No. 1" is a Type O'Negative' song, hehehe). Joey Ramone has never given such an interview or made any of the things I say he's done in this fic. Wherever he's is now, I'm sure he's still rocking and kicking God's ass.
from Ramones' "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker"
New York, 1990
Reporter: (looks to the cam) Hello there, you're watching Black Number One, the alternative music best sitcom in the world. I'm Lisa Thompson and here by my side sits one of the most important punk icons: Joey Ramone, from Ramones. (turns to the guest) Hello, Joey.
Joey Ramone: (nods and weaves discretely) H'lo there.
Reporter:Joey, you know Ramones, since your first album release, promoted a real revolution in world music, the music youth enjoys and plays. Songs such as "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" and "Sheena Is a Punk Rock" make teenagers see themselves inserted on the lyrics, and that obviously approaches them to your music. Is there a formula Ramones follows to catch like this the teens?
Joey Ramone: Well, in reality there's no formula. We play what they wanna hear, we say what they want us to. But particularly, in "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" the reason may be real inspiration.
Reporter: Oh, so that means that there is a real Sheena somewhere in N.Y.!
Joey Ramone: Yeah, kinda.
Reporter: (bents) Can you tell us about it?
Joey Ramone: There's nothing much to say. I was in Greece and it happened more or less this way:...
Athens, 1983
(Joey strides among some ruins he believes to be the reminiscences of some ancient civilization. Hearing screams he stops dead by a broken column. Two young boys in leather cuirasses come running and stop to talk to him desperatly, holding his shirt's sleeves)
Boy 1: Hey, guy! Please help us! Hide us anywhere, please! She's coming!
Joey: (releasing himself from the boy's clench) Who the fuck's coming?
Boy 2: (frightened) Shina!
Joey: (raises his head quizzically) Shina? (turns to a place from where a hiss seems to come)
(In a stone above them stands a green-haired woman, wearing a silver armour, hands on her waist. The boys try to run, but she quickly jumps in front of them)
Shina: Desertors, uh? I'll teach you not to EVER revolt against the Sanctuary. (she raises one arm, stands sideways and shouts, while the boys try to run) Thunder Claws!
(The boys fall dead to the ground with screams. Joey stands still, a serious exepression, looking sideways to the woman. She turns around to come back to where she had come from, but stops by Joey's side)
Joey: (still) You must be Shina, isn't it?
Shina: The two frightened chickens must have told you my name.
Joey: In fact. Who are you?
Shina: I don't owe you explanations, outter.
(Shina walks away. Joey follows her, till she turns quickly to him)
Shina: Don't you ever DARE to come after me. No outter is allowed to come into the Sanctuary.
Joey: (laughs mockingly) Why should I pay attention to ya?
Shina: (walks closer to him and scratches his face) Once someone has entered the Sacntuary, there are just two ways of leaving: as a Saint or as a cadaver.
Joey: (chuckles) You're ill-tempered. You must have a good reason for that.
Shina: Being a Saint is enough a reason for me. (leaves, while Joey stands there, looking her walk further and further till she gets out of sight.
(Two days later, Joey comes back to that place and strides once again. He's got a song on his head, longing to be writen, and Shina's image is always on it. He stops when he hears womanish groans coming fom his left. He turns to the place where the sound came from to find Shina training. She sings while punches columns and dusts stones with her hands)
Joey: (coming closer) Are my eyes tricking me or can it be Shina, the ill-tempered?
Shina: (not moving from her training) Lick your ass and leave me alone.
Joey: (mocking) Tzz, tzz, tzz... Not good manners for a lady...
Shina: (chuclkes skeptically) My mask sometimes make me forget I'm a girl. But it's not your business.
Joey: Hm, that's a good question. Why do you wear this mask? Is you face misshaped?
Shina: I don't--
Joey: (interrupts, imitating Shina) "..Owe me any explanations, Saint." I've had enough of not being owed explanations from you.
Shina: (mocking) Interruptions? Not good manners for a lord...
Joey: (sitting on a stone) Alright, since I'm not a lord and you're not a lady, you can sit down and pay attention to me for a while, can't ya?
Shina: (sighs and stops training) For Athena's sake... You are a fucking pain in the neck!
Joey: (smirks) Much better now...
Shina: Come on. Tell for once what you want from me.
Joey: I swear it'll take us just some minutes.
Shina: Be quick or be dead.
Joey: Ha, it looks like metal song title. By the way, that's just what I'm here for.
Shina: (sits down) Metal song?
Joey: Punk. (draws a pack of cigarettes from his jacket) Do you smoke?
Shina: No, thanks.
Joey: (lighting the cigarette, placed between his lips) By the way. I play on a punk rock band, named Ramones. We're releasing an album next year, but I still wanna write some songs. And ya look just like the song I wanna make.
Shina: What about?
Joey: I'll tell ya. Why do you wear a mask?
Shina: Does it matter?
Joey: Everything does.
Shina: OK. It's mendatory to a female Saint. No men can see my face.
Joey: Hm... You seem to do whatever the Sanctuary tells you to...
Shina: My function is not like the rules, it's just to respect them.
Joey: But if it was... would you be able to make it?
Shina: I can't like or deslike rules. I agree with the Sanctuary's ones. It's necessary to have discipline to be a Saint. Not like everybody.
Joey: What do you mean?
Shina: I mean, people around the world have no aims, they're all scattered, following fashion and only worried about their discs. Just the Saints see the world as a sinking ship and try to do something to stop it from gurgling.
Joey: (smirks openly) Shina... you are perfect.
Shina: What?
Joey: I mean, you are green-haired, with black nails, you wear a mask, you're running away from the common stuff... Girl, be back here in twenty-four hours and I'll show ya something. (jumps on his foot and gets away in a rush)
Shina: Hey, come back here! (she sees Joey vanishing among the stones and up-and-downs on the terrain)
(On the following day, Joey is sitting on the same stone he had on the previous day when he sees Shina's stalwart -yet sinuous- figure coming in his direction. She sits close to him)
Joey: (handing her a piece of paper) I told ya. (she reads it in silence)
Shina: (chuckles) New York? Ha, you make it seem a puppet show.
Joey: Life's a puppet show. Those two boys you killed were you puppets. And you killed them because you're a Sanctuary's puppet.
Shina: Hm, maybe... But I have two things to tell you. About me.
Joey: Tell'em.
Shina: First, I didn't come to the Sanctuary because I wanted to. I was sent. I had no choice but to become a Saint.
Joey: The reason doesn't matter. If you carry out your tasks the way you do it's because you agree with them.
Shina: (smirks) Yes, 'guess I do. (looks aside)
Joey: Shina?
Shina: (turns her head quickly to him: he's closer) What?
Joey: You said no man can ever see your face, isn't it?
Shina: (stutters) Y-Yes...
Joey: (puts his hands slowly on her mask and takes it off, seeing her devil-green eyes) What if I do?
Shina: Then I'll have two choices: kill you or love you.
Joey: Oh, really? Will you? (he kisses her)
Shina: (provoking) Not at all. (kisses him stormly)
(They scape sneakly to a desert place and have some stormy sex into a hide-out. When it's finally over, while they get dressed, Shina laughs)
Joey: What's fun?
Shina: A man is not allowed to even see my face, what about fucking me?
Joey: (sings) Shina is a punk rocker now!
Shina: What do you mean?
Joey: I mean you are a real punk rocker now. Besides your green hair, your black nails, your different way of acting and your bad manners, now you've braeken the rules. Shina's a punk rocker now.
Shina: (laughs and leaves the hide-out) I gotta go. Goodbye!
Joey: (shouts) Wait! You said you'd tell me two things about you, but you've only told one! What's the other?
Shina: (turns to him without coming back, shouts as well) Oh, indeed. My name is misspelled!(turns back and runs away)
Joey: (frowns) Misspelled? Could it be double "e"? I thought it was just one... Hm, I'll change it when I get back to the U.S. then. "Sheena", not "Shena"...
(Joey chuckles, ties his pants and gets his jacket, getting out of the hide-out)
New York, 1990
Reporter: (wide-eyed) I guess nobody would even imagine "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" had this origin! And have you ever seen this girl again?
Joey Ramone: Nah, not really. She's done her bit for me and I've done my bit for her. That's how the story ends. No further.
Reporter: Wow, Joey, that's really an amazing story! (turns to the cam) Well, my friends, we've made our time, that's our interview for today's Black Number One. See you all next time.
(Joey jolts his head to expell his hair from his face. The tape ends)
Athens, 1987
(Shina gets to the borders of the Sanctuary, where a group of teens listen to the radio. She recognizes the voice singing)
Radio speaker: And you've just heard Ramones' "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker"--
Shina: (sits on the ground and sighs) I guess if he spelled my name right... S-H-I-N-A... (shakes the head) Uh, it doesn't matter! I'm a punk rocker!
.:Author's Notes:. Hi, there. Hope you enjoyed this one. It got nonsense, didn't it? I didn't mean to have Joey Ramone and Shina having sex... But she looks just like the kind of girl that have sex with punk rockers! A dead punk singer and an anime character meeting in real life... Just digging my sick mind to have this piece... And, yes... As some must have realized, "Sheena Is a Punk Rocker" was released in 1977. FanFiction stuff. =) Opinions? Suggestions? Cursing on me? Review, please!