Kourui no Yuki
by: Saku-Yume
Chapter Two
Kourui
"You're not eating, aiji."
I looked up from my untouched bowl of rice with, what I'm sure was a signature 'oro?', look. My mother was watching me closely and smiling her little smile. I smiled back thinking of something to say. But I knew she would see through me. She always did. So I opted for the truth. Or, at least, half of it, anyway.
"Sumimasen, okaa-chan. I am just thinking…" I trailed off.
She chewed on her rice casually. I thought for the slightest of moments that she was going to let it go. I was wrong, of course.
"Of what?"
I smiled and looked her in the eyes, letting her know that I knew her game. So I told her exactly what she wanted to hear. Then maybe she'd stop fishing for information. "Yuki-chan. I'm thinking of her a lot lately."
"Hm… thinking of her has never interfered with your appetite before…?" She trailed into a non-verbalized question.
"I'm not very hungry. That's all." I looked outside. It would be her closing time soon…
"Why don't you go to see her now? Perhaps she will join us for dinner and bring your appetite back?" My mother was smiling knowingly. "Besides, it will be closing soon. You don't want to keep her waiting."
I looked her for long moments. Nothing ever slipped by her. I looked at my father. He continued to eat silently, smiling to himself.
I shook my head. "Hai, okaa-chan." I rose and headed for the door.
"Aiji," I turned back to my mother.
"Hai, okaa-chan?"
"Try not to be too nervous, okay?"
I smiled. "Hai, okaa-chan. I will try."
* * * * *
While trying very desperately not to be nervous on my way to see Yuki, I didn't really notice how quiet the area was. It didn't hit me until I rounded the corner to her family's inn. It was too quiet. I knew it was dinnertime and even time for some of the people to be in bed, but there were no lanterns lit inside any of the homes or businesses. The streets were deserted. I stopped walking and listened very closely. I heard nothing. I closed my eyes and reached out with my mind. If there were any malevolent chi in the area, I could at least find it. There were none. I began walking again, very aware of everything around me.
When I reached the inn, I felt uneasy almost immediately. Something was very wrong. I stepped inside and looked around. It seemed undisturbed. In fact, the whole place was untouched.
It looked too right.
I couldn't find Yuki anywhere. The family lived above the inn and restaurant. She was nowhere to be found. I was about to leave when I passed her parents' room. There was the first light I'd seen all night, glowing low and weak.
"Hitoyama-san," I called. No answer. No sounds… not even of breathing.
My heart stopped and I opened the shoji slowly.
Inside lay Yuki's mother and father, in pools of blood, slain in their sleep.
My head reeled. What had happened? Who had done it? Where were they now? Were they still here? All these questions tumbled around in my mind, but the only one to register was…
Where is Yuki?
I ran outside, calling for her. Nobody was around. No one at all! It was maddening. Where the hell were the police when you needed them? I would have thought to check the other houses for living if I hadn't been so desperate to find Yuki.
I needed to calm down first. To think clearly. There was no struggle. It must have happened after closing. I was sickened to think that if I'd come earlier, perhaps none of this would have happened. But I had to stop being so emotional. At least for now. What I had to do was find Yuki. Think, Kenji… where could Yuki be? If she'd run in fear, where would she go?
It came to me and I took off running. If she was still alive, she was probably still in danger.
I came to the grove of Sakura we sometimes met in and looked around. She wasn't there. My mind was spinning. Where could she have been? Did they perhaps take her with them? I was just about to leave when I heard a faint noise. I stopped and listened harder. There it was again. I followed it and when I found the source, I almost wished I hadn't.
Yuki lay on the ground, an arrow sticking from her chest. Her skin was clammy and white. Her eyes, bright and lively earlier that very day, were now dark and gray…
And from their corners… blood… like tears…
I fell to her side, eyes wide with terror. "Yuki-chan! Yuki-chan!" I didn't shake her, as not to disrupt any chance she might have still had at living. Instead I turned her face up to mine, smearing her cheek with her bloody tears. Her lips moved… she was trying to speak. She barley croaked…
"Ken…ji-ku-un… I… I'm so-sor-ry…"
"No, Yuki-chan! You have nothing to be sorry for!" I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks. I wanted to hold her close… "Who did this, Yuki-chan? Who did this to you?"
She looked like she was trying to smile. "Ai-shite-ru… Kenji-kun… aishiteru…"
She reached up to touch my cheek and I placed my hand over hers, turning to kiss her palm. She brushed my tears weakly with her thumb, still smiling. "Aishiteru, Yuki. Sueshijuu aishiteru, Yuki-koiishi."
She swallowed with difficulty. "Wh-at d-did you want t-to discuss with me, Ken..ji-k-kun?"
My heart twisted. Damn my hesitation! I began to cry harder. "I was going to ask you to be my wife, Yuki-chan…"
She smiled and for a moment the light returned to her eyes.
"Hai, Kenji…" she whispered. "I will…" She pulled me forward and used what little strength she had to rise and kiss my lips…
And when she pulled away, she had that same look on her face…
…just before she finally slipped away…
As her head rolled lifelessly to the side, my heart felt completely empty… broken… I stared at her in horror. I don't think it hit me that she was really gone until then. I knew it must be… but I couldn't put my mind around it.
It didn't really register until I carried her body into my house, laying her gently on the dojo floor. I knelt in front of her, just staring at her as if my stare could bring breath back to her lungs and resurrect her from the dead.
"Kenji." I heard my father… but he was very far away… I almost didn't hear him.
He entered the room and gasped, seeing Yuki and then me. "Kenji… aisoku, what happened?"
I didn't speak.
My mother soon followed and threw a hand over her mouth when she saw the sight before her. "Oh, Kami-sama… Kenji…"
"Her whole family is dead… murdered in their sleep… I found her… in the Sakura grove." I closed my eyes, the pain twisting my heart. "She was practically dead already." My mother rushed to me and held me close, kneeling next to me. "She said yes, okaa-chan…" I sobbed, not holding back now. "She said yes! Oh, God, she said yes!" I wailed and my mother cried with me, trying to comfort me. I shook violently, feeling my insides churning. My father came and knelt on my other side and hugged me.
"Get Megumi-dono, koiishi," he said to her. Mother nodded and left.
"Do you know who did it, aisoku. Do you know why?" he asked me.
I raised from his chest and shook my head. "No…" Suddenly I felt the rage rise inside of me and I looked at my father with a golden gaze. "But I will find out. I will…"
He looked directly at me, serious and firm. "Be careful, aisoku. Weigh your options carefully. Do not deal with this in haste. Another corpse will bring you no closer to justice… especially if it is your own."
I was breathing heavily. I stared at him for a long time, the rage slowly subsiding. Soon violet replaced gold and tears welled from my eyes again. I leaned into him and cried like I did when I was but an infant. And he held me. Comforting and understanding...
I don't think I've ever felt so close to my father…
* * * * *
Japanese words:
Kourui- her bloody tears
Aiji- beloved child
Sumimasen- sorry
Hitoyama- mountain (that makes Yuki's name Hitoyama Yuki which means Mountain Snow or Snowy Mountain… isn't that pretty?)
Sueshijuu- for life/ eternity/ until I die
Koiishi- my darling