Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own any of the characters from "Le
Fantome de L'Opera",
nor from Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Phantom of the Opera". They belong to their
respective owners, and I am writing this out of my deep love and respect for the story which has captivated so many of us. Nor do I own the song "Let Me Fall", which is from Cirque De Soleil, and is on Josh Groban's self-titled CD.
Chapter 2: Someone I am is waiting for courage....
Christine
I stared at my reflection in the mirror as my dresser fastened the final hooks of my gown. I was tired, so very tired, and I knew that Erik would have been frightfully angry with me for singing tonight, would have chastised me for threatening my voice with undo strain. But I had no choice in this. My life had become an opera, but the pages of the score were blank. Only as the scene played out before me did the notes begin to appear so I knew what I was to do. Everyone around me seemed to know what the pages of this score of my life were to be.
The managers, Monsieur Moncharmin and Monsieur Richard said I was to become the Paris Opera's leading diva. However, something deep inside my heart to me that this was a promise that would not last. I had become employed as their leading lady only because of Erik's threats. After tonight, if all went according to plan, Erik would be captured, and there would be no reason to keep me on as the leading diva. The audiences did enjoy my singing, but because of my reputation, which was linked to Opera Ghost forever after that fateful night of the Masquerade Ball, I had been as of late been received with a cold reception at every performance. The turmoil of emotions which had overcome me since that night had shaken me, causing me to be less that perfect every time I sang. Raoul attributed my perplexity at the masquerade to be due to having seen my false angel after so long, six months, of thinking I was "safe" from him. Raoul had fussed over me after that night, tried to assure me that I would never again have to see "that monster" again -
"My poor Little Lotte, I am sorry he had to return and frighten you... I know you thought you were safe, after so many months of having not been trouble by him..."
I bit my tongue, knowing that until that night, Raoul had not even believed my words about Erik. He had thought me to still be the overly imaginative child he had known some years prior. It was only when Erik had appeared, dressed at the Red Death, that Raoul became a believer. Raoul also did not know that I had not gone six months without seeing Erik. How could I have ever told him? I had lied numerous times to Raoul, telling him I needed to stay late at the Opera for rehearsals, or that I was needed during the early morning to be fitted for my costume... all lies, all webs of deception I had spun so I could return to that darkness. Erik's darkness. He frightened me, terrified me more than ever, for he had become removed and cold ever since the night that the chandelier had fallen. I had questioned him about the incident, but his only answer had been, "When the balance of chandeliers or life are displaced by time or by lies, they fall." He had said it with such sadness in his eyes and such pain in his voice I had not dared to question him further. That had been the last time he had spoken to me with anything other than cold disdain.
A knock at my door and M. Mercier's voice alerted me that it was time. My dresser smiled sympathetically, and left. Surely she thought I was mad... they all thought I was mad. When Raoul had proposed his "brilliant plan" to capture Erik, I had said no, much to the dismay of the managers, Carlotta, and most of all, to Raoul. He had taken me by the arm and chastised me, much to my surprise and dismay.
"Christine, you can't possibly... this man, this creature has murdered someone, and God knows what else he may try to do... Christine, please, for our sake... for everyone... you must cooperate. Otherwise we may never be rid of him." Never be rid of him. Couldn't Raoul understand I didn't want to be rid of him? Not like he meant... he wanted Erik caught, even dead. And I?... I was afraid of him, but I never wished for things to come to this.
As I walked to the stage, I wiped a tear away from my cheek. I could not let my emotions hinder my performance. If I was about to betray Erik, the least I could do was sing his opera well if he was to attend. I hoped would not come at all. But I knew better. This was his night... perhaps his last night.
respective owners, and I am writing this out of my deep love and respect for the story which has captivated so many of us. Nor do I own the song "Let Me Fall", which is from Cirque De Soleil, and is on Josh Groban's self-titled CD.
Chapter 2: Someone I am is waiting for courage....
Christine
I stared at my reflection in the mirror as my dresser fastened the final hooks of my gown. I was tired, so very tired, and I knew that Erik would have been frightfully angry with me for singing tonight, would have chastised me for threatening my voice with undo strain. But I had no choice in this. My life had become an opera, but the pages of the score were blank. Only as the scene played out before me did the notes begin to appear so I knew what I was to do. Everyone around me seemed to know what the pages of this score of my life were to be.
The managers, Monsieur Moncharmin and Monsieur Richard said I was to become the Paris Opera's leading diva. However, something deep inside my heart to me that this was a promise that would not last. I had become employed as their leading lady only because of Erik's threats. After tonight, if all went according to plan, Erik would be captured, and there would be no reason to keep me on as the leading diva. The audiences did enjoy my singing, but because of my reputation, which was linked to Opera Ghost forever after that fateful night of the Masquerade Ball, I had been as of late been received with a cold reception at every performance. The turmoil of emotions which had overcome me since that night had shaken me, causing me to be less that perfect every time I sang. Raoul attributed my perplexity at the masquerade to be due to having seen my false angel after so long, six months, of thinking I was "safe" from him. Raoul had fussed over me after that night, tried to assure me that I would never again have to see "that monster" again -
"My poor Little Lotte, I am sorry he had to return and frighten you... I know you thought you were safe, after so many months of having not been trouble by him..."
I bit my tongue, knowing that until that night, Raoul had not even believed my words about Erik. He had thought me to still be the overly imaginative child he had known some years prior. It was only when Erik had appeared, dressed at the Red Death, that Raoul became a believer. Raoul also did not know that I had not gone six months without seeing Erik. How could I have ever told him? I had lied numerous times to Raoul, telling him I needed to stay late at the Opera for rehearsals, or that I was needed during the early morning to be fitted for my costume... all lies, all webs of deception I had spun so I could return to that darkness. Erik's darkness. He frightened me, terrified me more than ever, for he had become removed and cold ever since the night that the chandelier had fallen. I had questioned him about the incident, but his only answer had been, "When the balance of chandeliers or life are displaced by time or by lies, they fall." He had said it with such sadness in his eyes and such pain in his voice I had not dared to question him further. That had been the last time he had spoken to me with anything other than cold disdain.
A knock at my door and M. Mercier's voice alerted me that it was time. My dresser smiled sympathetically, and left. Surely she thought I was mad... they all thought I was mad. When Raoul had proposed his "brilliant plan" to capture Erik, I had said no, much to the dismay of the managers, Carlotta, and most of all, to Raoul. He had taken me by the arm and chastised me, much to my surprise and dismay.
"Christine, you can't possibly... this man, this creature has murdered someone, and God knows what else he may try to do... Christine, please, for our sake... for everyone... you must cooperate. Otherwise we may never be rid of him." Never be rid of him. Couldn't Raoul understand I didn't want to be rid of him? Not like he meant... he wanted Erik caught, even dead. And I?... I was afraid of him, but I never wished for things to come to this.
As I walked to the stage, I wiped a tear away from my cheek. I could not let my emotions hinder my performance. If I was about to betray Erik, the least I could do was sing his opera well if he was to attend. I hoped would not come at all. But I knew better. This was his night... perhaps his last night.