Our story begins with a song.
"We're off on the road to recovery,
Our cures I am sure we will find (Ow! Xellos, do you MIND?!)
Where we're going, why we're going, that's a secret for sure.
Maybe if we're lucky, we'll meet Dorothy Lamour! (Yeah, right.)
We're off on the road to recovery-"
"Xellos, by all that is holy, if you don't stop singing that, you are going to be treated to a medley of Amelia's greatest hits." Zelgadis's face loomed large as a vein throbbed at his temple. "With EXTRA justice! Don't make me do it!"
Xellos arched an eyebrow and shrugged. "Whatever you say, Zelliepoo."
Zelgadis growled. "Don't call me that."
"Call you what, Zelliepoo?"
"Just shut up." Zelgadis hitched his pack up and kept walking, staring straight ahead with the intensity of someone completely determined to ignore his companion.
Xellos paused for a moment, staring after Zelgadis. He wondered if he should, perhaps, give the guy a break. After all, they had been walking through the desert together for a week now, and Xellos could detect notes of desperation and homicidal rage in the bouquet of the chimera's anger. Really, though, those notes only added an intriguing flavor, like when wine was aged in oak barrels. "Weeeeeeeeee're off on the road-"
"SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE holding hands!" Zelgadis bellowed the tune. "Everyone around! Love them! Love them!"
Xellos opened one eye and smirked. So he wanted to play rough, did he? "Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety eight bottles of beer on the wall. Ninety eight-"
"Forget your troubles, come on, get happy, we're going to wipe all your cares away. Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy, before the judgment day." Zelgadis had a fairly pleasant baritone voice.
Xellos arched an eyebrow. The boy was good; it was time to bring out the big guns. "This is the song that doesn't end! Yes, it goes on and on, my friend! Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was! And they'll continue singing it-"
Zelgadis had stopped to look at Xellos as he sang the most annoying song in the known multiverse. No choice, then. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, silver white winters that melt into spring, these are a few of my favorite things!" He broke off with a small chuckle. Xellos was on his hands and knees, retching and gagging. There was a small cloud over his head that exactly matched the blueish purple color he had turned. "I don't think that's your color, Xellos."
Xellos glared at him from underneath his bangs. "That was dirty pool."
Zelgadis laughed, and a wave of good humor made Xellos's stomach flop again. "I traveled with Amelia for years, Xellos. There's more where that came from, if you decide this little game should continue."
Xellos looked up weakly and coughed. "But what am I supposed to do for food?" The pitiful tone might have gotten Zelgadis to relent if the mazoku hadn't added, "And entertainment?"
Zelgadis smirked and started to walk away. "Maybe you should just teleport back to bother Lina instead."
"If I could teleport, do you think I'd be spending time in your oh-so- charming company?" Xellos stood up and dusted himself off. "Do you always flatter yourself this much?"
The chimera stopped and turned to face the mazoku. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that you're not out here just to bother me?"
"Why would I want to WALK through a blazing hot desert just to bother you? There's any number of people I can bother in perfect comfort." Xellos shook his head and heaved a melodramatic sigh. "You really should work on that arrogant streak of yours."
"I'M arrogant?! Look who's talking!" Zelgadis folded his arms over his chest and scowled. "You're the one who appeared uninvited a week ago and hasn't left me alone since."
"May I remind you that if it weren't for me, you would not be on the path towards finding the cure you would give up everything for." Xellos stuck his staff in the sand and mimicked Zel's belligerent pose. "Considering your obsession with being 'normal', I would think you'd be thanking me for my help."
"Thanking you? Oh, that's rich, Xellos. I'm out here because you're getting something out of it. If it turns out you tricked me, I'll find a way to cut you to ribbons." Zel brought his clenched fists down to his sides, seething with anger and frustration. He'd started the journey convinced that Xellos wanted him to be cured, but now he wondered if the mazoku had some other motive.
"You can certainly try, Rocky-my-sweet, but it wouldn't be good for your health." Xellos smirked again, then held out his hand and examined his fingernails. "Of course, if you want to think I'm playing a trick on you, you could always leave. I'm sure no one in Seyruun would have any objections to a freak courting the heir to the throne."
Zelgadis glared at Xellos as the dart hit home. He didn't like it, but it looked as if he was stuck with the purple haired irritant. A small smile played around his lips as he decided that Xellos didn't have to like it, either. "It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hopes and a world of fears! There's so much that we share, that it's time we're aware, it's a small world after aaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllll!"
Hours passed. Zelgadis's throat was getting sore, but he smirked in satisfaction at catching a glimpse of his traveling companion. Xellos was dragging himself along, clutching his staff for support as if he were an old and feeble man. His skin seemed to have acquired a permanent green tinge and his eyelids were at half mast, partially obscuring eyes that were swollen and bloodshot. Only when Lina and Filia had gotten seasick after the incident on the ghost ship had he seen anyone look as queasy. "Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy joy!"
"I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!" Xellos leapt onto Zelgadis's back, using his staff to repeatedly pummel the chimera's head. Hours of inanely cheerful singing had driven the mazoku to the brink of madness.
Zelgadis laughed as he used a martial arts throw to flip the mazoku over his head and onto the ground. "You wanted to say something, Xellos?"
Xellos had recovered enough to land on his feet, and he settled into a relaxed stance. "Yes, actually, I did. You've made your point, and the singing is going to stop now."
Zelgadis arched an eyebrow and then started walking again. He was tired of singing, and truthfully would have broken before much more if Xellos hadn't cracked first. At least Xellos would have to come up with some new way to be irritating.
To be Continued...
Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to Majo-chan, my devoted worshipper. Stara Maijka, as always, is a tremendously wonderful person who seems to like my writing for some reason and does a wonderful job with editing (and she's the one who came up with using "It's a Small World"). Icka also gets a shout out for the use of "Happy Happy Joy Joy", and for writing some nifty fics that make me smile. I've decided I really am enough of a control freak to want to put my fics up on a site of my own, so be on the lookout. One of the things it will have is a little poll set up where you can vote on what fic you want me to work on next. I seem to be making a serious bid for the title of "Queen of Unfinished Fics", and so it'll help to get some idea of what anyone reading might want to read next. Oh, and donations of fanart are always welcome. ;)
The songs used are, in order:
The Road to Morocco (rewritten to suit this fic) - Bing Crosby and Bob Hope
Shiny Happy People - REM
99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall - countless school bus riders
Get Happy - Judy Garland
Song that Doesn't End - Shari Lewis as Charley Horse
My Favorite Things - Sound of Music
It's a Small World - Disneyland
Happy Happy Joy Joy - Ren and Stimpy
"We're off on the road to recovery,
Our cures I am sure we will find (Ow! Xellos, do you MIND?!)
Where we're going, why we're going, that's a secret for sure.
Maybe if we're lucky, we'll meet Dorothy Lamour! (Yeah, right.)
We're off on the road to recovery-"
"Xellos, by all that is holy, if you don't stop singing that, you are going to be treated to a medley of Amelia's greatest hits." Zelgadis's face loomed large as a vein throbbed at his temple. "With EXTRA justice! Don't make me do it!"
Xellos arched an eyebrow and shrugged. "Whatever you say, Zelliepoo."
Zelgadis growled. "Don't call me that."
"Call you what, Zelliepoo?"
"Just shut up." Zelgadis hitched his pack up and kept walking, staring straight ahead with the intensity of someone completely determined to ignore his companion.
Xellos paused for a moment, staring after Zelgadis. He wondered if he should, perhaps, give the guy a break. After all, they had been walking through the desert together for a week now, and Xellos could detect notes of desperation and homicidal rage in the bouquet of the chimera's anger. Really, though, those notes only added an intriguing flavor, like when wine was aged in oak barrels. "Weeeeeeeeee're off on the road-"
"SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE holding hands!" Zelgadis bellowed the tune. "Everyone around! Love them! Love them!"
Xellos opened one eye and smirked. So he wanted to play rough, did he? "Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety eight bottles of beer on the wall. Ninety eight-"
"Forget your troubles, come on, get happy, we're going to wipe all your cares away. Shout hallelujah, come on, get happy, before the judgment day." Zelgadis had a fairly pleasant baritone voice.
Xellos arched an eyebrow. The boy was good; it was time to bring out the big guns. "This is the song that doesn't end! Yes, it goes on and on, my friend! Some people STARTED singing it, not knowing what it was! And they'll continue singing it-"
Zelgadis had stopped to look at Xellos as he sang the most annoying song in the known multiverse. No choice, then. "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, silver white winters that melt into spring, these are a few of my favorite things!" He broke off with a small chuckle. Xellos was on his hands and knees, retching and gagging. There was a small cloud over his head that exactly matched the blueish purple color he had turned. "I don't think that's your color, Xellos."
Xellos glared at him from underneath his bangs. "That was dirty pool."
Zelgadis laughed, and a wave of good humor made Xellos's stomach flop again. "I traveled with Amelia for years, Xellos. There's more where that came from, if you decide this little game should continue."
Xellos looked up weakly and coughed. "But what am I supposed to do for food?" The pitiful tone might have gotten Zelgadis to relent if the mazoku hadn't added, "And entertainment?"
Zelgadis smirked and started to walk away. "Maybe you should just teleport back to bother Lina instead."
"If I could teleport, do you think I'd be spending time in your oh-so- charming company?" Xellos stood up and dusted himself off. "Do you always flatter yourself this much?"
The chimera stopped and turned to face the mazoku. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that you're not out here just to bother me?"
"Why would I want to WALK through a blazing hot desert just to bother you? There's any number of people I can bother in perfect comfort." Xellos shook his head and heaved a melodramatic sigh. "You really should work on that arrogant streak of yours."
"I'M arrogant?! Look who's talking!" Zelgadis folded his arms over his chest and scowled. "You're the one who appeared uninvited a week ago and hasn't left me alone since."
"May I remind you that if it weren't for me, you would not be on the path towards finding the cure you would give up everything for." Xellos stuck his staff in the sand and mimicked Zel's belligerent pose. "Considering your obsession with being 'normal', I would think you'd be thanking me for my help."
"Thanking you? Oh, that's rich, Xellos. I'm out here because you're getting something out of it. If it turns out you tricked me, I'll find a way to cut you to ribbons." Zel brought his clenched fists down to his sides, seething with anger and frustration. He'd started the journey convinced that Xellos wanted him to be cured, but now he wondered if the mazoku had some other motive.
"You can certainly try, Rocky-my-sweet, but it wouldn't be good for your health." Xellos smirked again, then held out his hand and examined his fingernails. "Of course, if you want to think I'm playing a trick on you, you could always leave. I'm sure no one in Seyruun would have any objections to a freak courting the heir to the throne."
Zelgadis glared at Xellos as the dart hit home. He didn't like it, but it looked as if he was stuck with the purple haired irritant. A small smile played around his lips as he decided that Xellos didn't have to like it, either. "It's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hopes and a world of fears! There's so much that we share, that it's time we're aware, it's a small world after aaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllll!"
Hours passed. Zelgadis's throat was getting sore, but he smirked in satisfaction at catching a glimpse of his traveling companion. Xellos was dragging himself along, clutching his staff for support as if he were an old and feeble man. His skin seemed to have acquired a permanent green tinge and his eyelids were at half mast, partially obscuring eyes that were swollen and bloodshot. Only when Lina and Filia had gotten seasick after the incident on the ghost ship had he seen anyone look as queasy. "Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy joy!"
"I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs!" Xellos leapt onto Zelgadis's back, using his staff to repeatedly pummel the chimera's head. Hours of inanely cheerful singing had driven the mazoku to the brink of madness.
Zelgadis laughed as he used a martial arts throw to flip the mazoku over his head and onto the ground. "You wanted to say something, Xellos?"
Xellos had recovered enough to land on his feet, and he settled into a relaxed stance. "Yes, actually, I did. You've made your point, and the singing is going to stop now."
Zelgadis arched an eyebrow and then started walking again. He was tired of singing, and truthfully would have broken before much more if Xellos hadn't cracked first. At least Xellos would have to come up with some new way to be irritating.
To be Continued...
Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to Majo-chan, my devoted worshipper. Stara Maijka, as always, is a tremendously wonderful person who seems to like my writing for some reason and does a wonderful job with editing (and she's the one who came up with using "It's a Small World"). Icka also gets a shout out for the use of "Happy Happy Joy Joy", and for writing some nifty fics that make me smile. I've decided I really am enough of a control freak to want to put my fics up on a site of my own, so be on the lookout. One of the things it will have is a little poll set up where you can vote on what fic you want me to work on next. I seem to be making a serious bid for the title of "Queen of Unfinished Fics", and so it'll help to get some idea of what anyone reading might want to read next. Oh, and donations of fanart are always welcome. ;)
The songs used are, in order:
The Road to Morocco (rewritten to suit this fic) - Bing Crosby and Bob Hope
Shiny Happy People - REM
99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall - countless school bus riders
Get Happy - Judy Garland
Song that Doesn't End - Shari Lewis as Charley Horse
My Favorite Things - Sound of Music
It's a Small World - Disneyland
Happy Happy Joy Joy - Ren and Stimpy