Title: Alone, I Fear
Author: Sita
Summary: What would happen if Buffy awoke to a world where she wasn't the Slayer, yet still had the memories of being one, and her life in SunnyD. What would she do, and how far would she go in order to get her old life back? B/S
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post-7.5 "Selfless" (Doesn't really have anything to do with the episode though)
Disclaimer: You think some guy named Joss Whedon owns Buffy?! Psssht! Yeah right! *sigh* Well...okay he does but I can pretend can't I? Or maybe I could just borrow Spike? (Oh, hehehe, forgot to mention, I own Prissy.)
Can't find where I am
Lying here
Alone I fear
Afraid of the dark
No one to claim
Alone again
~Avirl Lavigne
Chapter Five: Take Me Home
I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here
By now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening
But there's no sound
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
~Avril Lavigne
Someone softly calling her name, woke Buffy up. And, she groaned, making out a pale figure hovering over her. One with flaming red hair.
"Buffy?"
"Prissy?" She asked.
"Yeah. " The redhead said. "Why did you run off last night right when Giles came to the door?"
"I...." Buffy let herself trail off not knowing how exactly to answer that question. She knew Prissy was the Slayer, and she was here to help everyone. But, for some reason, she felt like *not* telling Prissy what was going on.
"Willow said she saw you yesterday," Prissy continued talking when Buffy didn't answer her question. "She said you had her do a spell."
"Oh," Buffy looked up at Prissy. "She told you that, huh?"
"She told me that she did a spell to see if everyone was under a spell BUT you." Prissy walked closer to Buffy. "Buffy, can't you tell me what's going on? I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help you."
"I know." Buffy looked down ."I just....you wouldn't believe me."
"I'm the Slayer." Prissy said. "I've seen more stuff in my lifetime than you can imagine. Trust me. I *will* believe you."
"But it's just, you-you're not SUPPOSED to be the Slayer." Buffy tripped over her words slightly. "It's....I can't explain."
"What do you mean I'm not supposed to be the Slayer?" Prissy looked at Buffy curiously. "I've been the Slayer since I was fifteen years old. Tell me. What do you mean."
"I AM." Buffy spoke, looking Prissy in the eyes. "Are you happy now? I'M supposed to be the Slayer. YOU stole my life. YOU stole my friends. Now I have no one but my mom. And possibly Spike, but he doesn't seem to remember much."
"Buffy-" Prissy started, looking at the blonde as if she were mad.
"What?" Buffy asked. "Are you going to say I'm crazy? Are you going to say I'm EVIL?!" She looked at the redhead. "Willow is supposed to be MY best friend. Dawn is MY sister. Xander is one of MY best friends. Anya is MY friend. Tara was MY friend. Giles is MY Watcher." She looked over at Prissy. "But you stole all of that." Tears were now freely running down her face. "And now I have nothing." She looked over at Prissy. "I don't even know why my mom's alive."
"Buffy," Prissy said, taking a seat on a nearby bench. "I don't understand what you're saying. How could I have stolen your life? This has always been my life."
"But it hasn't." Buffy said. "At least where I come from." Buffy sighed. "I'm sorry if this isn't your fault. But it feels like it. Everything that was mine is now yours."
Prissy looked up at Buffy, "Do you want to come back to my place with me?" She wasn't exactly sure if she could trust Buffy, but Giles was there, and he could definitely help out with this situation.
"I don't know." Buffy said quietly. "Maybe later. I really need to calm down."
Prissy nodded, "Well you know where I live."
****
She didn't know where she was going. She was wandering mostly. And, not surprisingly she found herself at the Bronze. A place she had come to so many times with family and friends. A place where memories had been built. Good one's and bad. But now, no one held those memories but her. Buffy. And she couldn't remember feeling so alone in her whole entire life. Not even after she killed Angel did she feel this alone.
And, talking a seat at the bar, she ordered a drink. Something to sooth her nerves. She didn't care at this point whether Buffy and drinks were unmixy things or not.
And, watching the kids and young adults on the dance floor, she spotted her. Dawn, that is. The girl was supposed to be HER little sister. She could still make out traces of resemblance between the two. But only around the face. She looked more like Prissy now, with her startling red hair and pale skin, lightly sprinkled with freckles.
And, the blonde cried into her drink as she watched Dawn dance with a guy she didn't recognize. This wasn't her world anymore, and she feared it would never be again.
So, making her way out of the Bronze, she found her way into the graveyard perching herself against a grave and closing her eyes. Maybe a vampire would kill her in her sleep.
****
The feeling of someone hovering over her, brought Buffy out of her dreamworld. Rather quickly, that is, considering the feeling was that a vampire was the one doing the hovering.
Opening her eyes, she jumped up, about to take fighting stance, when she realized who it was. None other than Spike.
"I wanna know," He looked up at her from where he was standing, dropping the cigarette he was smoking to the ground and crushing it under the heel of his boot. "Really, who the bloody hell are you?" He paused, running a hand through his messed up locks. "You-I feel like I bloody know you. You're fucking haunting me. I swear. I close my eyes, and there you are. And when I'm awake, there you are." His voice wavered with emotion he didn't know he could be feeling for a total stranger. "I know your name like I've known you. Like I know you." He looked down. "What have you bloody done to me?" He growled, pushing back the tears that were threatening to spill with anger.
She sighed, sitting up from where she had been laying down, deciding to tell him what had happened. HE seemed to be coming through after all. He seemed like he was starting to remember her. Were demons immune to this? WHAT was this? Where was this?
"I know you. Or I did." She spoke, her voice cracking with emotion. "I woke up today and I wasn't in my world." She took a step closer to him. "Yesterday, I was the Slayer. Yesterday you were my-my ex-lover." She looked down, than back up at him, her hazel eyes becoming watery. "Yesterday you loved me."
His eyes snapped up to meet her own at her last statement, "This doesn't make any bloody sense." He sighed. "I know you....yet I don't. I feel like we've been through so much together, but I don't remember any of it. I feel like I love you. But, I don't. And you're human. BLOODY human. I have a bloody girlfriend. She's perfect. And I LOVE her. She's like me. We belong together." He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself. "But, I believe you. I don't know why, but I do. And when I'm around you....Oh bollocks. Just," He started backing away from her. "Just...."
"No, tell me what you were going to say." She spoke, taking a hesitant step towards him.
"When I'm around you," His voice was quiet, barely audible. "I feel complete." He looked away in embarrassment. "I feel like a missing part of me is bloody found. I feel like being GOOD." He looked at her angry. "William the Bloody good?! How is that bloody fucking possible?"
This time she walked right up to him, reaching her hand up and slowly trailing it down his cheek, "It is. I've seen it."
And icy blue eyes met sea green ones, and Spike uttered four single words, "Did you love me?"
"What?" She asked, startled by his question.
"Where you said where you were from, did you love me?" His eyes were deadly seriously, and Buffy felt frozen in place, unable to speak. And, hearing her speechless like this, felt like a deadly blow to his heart. It felt like someone had not only punched him, but taken his heart out and ripped it in two. And, he still didn't know why.
So, he nodded, turning away from her, starting to walk away.
"Spike!" She yelled after him.
But, he rushed away from her at superhuman speed, salty tears making their way down his cheeks for a girl he didn't even know.
And, Buffy sat herself on the ground, watching him disappear from her sight. And, right then she started crying. Her only hope had been crushed because he had to ask her THAT question. The question she had always dreaded answering. The question she didn't know the answer to.
TBC
AN: Was the chapter kind of short or was it me? I dunno. LOL, I actually wrote the last part frist and thought it sounded better as a last part. Anywho, hope you enojyed it and.... PLEASE REVIEW!
Author: Sita
Summary: What would happen if Buffy awoke to a world where she wasn't the Slayer, yet still had the memories of being one, and her life in SunnyD. What would she do, and how far would she go in order to get her old life back? B/S
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Post-7.5 "Selfless" (Doesn't really have anything to do with the episode though)
Disclaimer: You think some guy named Joss Whedon owns Buffy?! Psssht! Yeah right! *sigh* Well...okay he does but I can pretend can't I? Or maybe I could just borrow Spike? (Oh, hehehe, forgot to mention, I own Prissy.)
Can't find where I am
Lying here
Alone I fear
Afraid of the dark
No one to claim
Alone again
~Avirl Lavigne
Chapter Five: Take Me Home
I'm standing on the bridge
I'm waiting in the dark
I thought that you'd be here
By now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening
But there's no sound
Isn't anyone trying to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
~Avril Lavigne
Someone softly calling her name, woke Buffy up. And, she groaned, making out a pale figure hovering over her. One with flaming red hair.
"Buffy?"
"Prissy?" She asked.
"Yeah. " The redhead said. "Why did you run off last night right when Giles came to the door?"
"I...." Buffy let herself trail off not knowing how exactly to answer that question. She knew Prissy was the Slayer, and she was here to help everyone. But, for some reason, she felt like *not* telling Prissy what was going on.
"Willow said she saw you yesterday," Prissy continued talking when Buffy didn't answer her question. "She said you had her do a spell."
"Oh," Buffy looked up at Prissy. "She told you that, huh?"
"She told me that she did a spell to see if everyone was under a spell BUT you." Prissy walked closer to Buffy. "Buffy, can't you tell me what's going on? I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to help you."
"I know." Buffy looked down ."I just....you wouldn't believe me."
"I'm the Slayer." Prissy said. "I've seen more stuff in my lifetime than you can imagine. Trust me. I *will* believe you."
"But it's just, you-you're not SUPPOSED to be the Slayer." Buffy tripped over her words slightly. "It's....I can't explain."
"What do you mean I'm not supposed to be the Slayer?" Prissy looked at Buffy curiously. "I've been the Slayer since I was fifteen years old. Tell me. What do you mean."
"I AM." Buffy spoke, looking Prissy in the eyes. "Are you happy now? I'M supposed to be the Slayer. YOU stole my life. YOU stole my friends. Now I have no one but my mom. And possibly Spike, but he doesn't seem to remember much."
"Buffy-" Prissy started, looking at the blonde as if she were mad.
"What?" Buffy asked. "Are you going to say I'm crazy? Are you going to say I'm EVIL?!" She looked at the redhead. "Willow is supposed to be MY best friend. Dawn is MY sister. Xander is one of MY best friends. Anya is MY friend. Tara was MY friend. Giles is MY Watcher." She looked over at Prissy. "But you stole all of that." Tears were now freely running down her face. "And now I have nothing." She looked over at Prissy. "I don't even know why my mom's alive."
"Buffy," Prissy said, taking a seat on a nearby bench. "I don't understand what you're saying. How could I have stolen your life? This has always been my life."
"But it hasn't." Buffy said. "At least where I come from." Buffy sighed. "I'm sorry if this isn't your fault. But it feels like it. Everything that was mine is now yours."
Prissy looked up at Buffy, "Do you want to come back to my place with me?" She wasn't exactly sure if she could trust Buffy, but Giles was there, and he could definitely help out with this situation.
"I don't know." Buffy said quietly. "Maybe later. I really need to calm down."
Prissy nodded, "Well you know where I live."
****
She didn't know where she was going. She was wandering mostly. And, not surprisingly she found herself at the Bronze. A place she had come to so many times with family and friends. A place where memories had been built. Good one's and bad. But now, no one held those memories but her. Buffy. And she couldn't remember feeling so alone in her whole entire life. Not even after she killed Angel did she feel this alone.
And, talking a seat at the bar, she ordered a drink. Something to sooth her nerves. She didn't care at this point whether Buffy and drinks were unmixy things or not.
And, watching the kids and young adults on the dance floor, she spotted her. Dawn, that is. The girl was supposed to be HER little sister. She could still make out traces of resemblance between the two. But only around the face. She looked more like Prissy now, with her startling red hair and pale skin, lightly sprinkled with freckles.
And, the blonde cried into her drink as she watched Dawn dance with a guy she didn't recognize. This wasn't her world anymore, and she feared it would never be again.
So, making her way out of the Bronze, she found her way into the graveyard perching herself against a grave and closing her eyes. Maybe a vampire would kill her in her sleep.
****
The feeling of someone hovering over her, brought Buffy out of her dreamworld. Rather quickly, that is, considering the feeling was that a vampire was the one doing the hovering.
Opening her eyes, she jumped up, about to take fighting stance, when she realized who it was. None other than Spike.
"I wanna know," He looked up at her from where he was standing, dropping the cigarette he was smoking to the ground and crushing it under the heel of his boot. "Really, who the bloody hell are you?" He paused, running a hand through his messed up locks. "You-I feel like I bloody know you. You're fucking haunting me. I swear. I close my eyes, and there you are. And when I'm awake, there you are." His voice wavered with emotion he didn't know he could be feeling for a total stranger. "I know your name like I've known you. Like I know you." He looked down. "What have you bloody done to me?" He growled, pushing back the tears that were threatening to spill with anger.
She sighed, sitting up from where she had been laying down, deciding to tell him what had happened. HE seemed to be coming through after all. He seemed like he was starting to remember her. Were demons immune to this? WHAT was this? Where was this?
"I know you. Or I did." She spoke, her voice cracking with emotion. "I woke up today and I wasn't in my world." She took a step closer to him. "Yesterday, I was the Slayer. Yesterday you were my-my ex-lover." She looked down, than back up at him, her hazel eyes becoming watery. "Yesterday you loved me."
His eyes snapped up to meet her own at her last statement, "This doesn't make any bloody sense." He sighed. "I know you....yet I don't. I feel like we've been through so much together, but I don't remember any of it. I feel like I love you. But, I don't. And you're human. BLOODY human. I have a bloody girlfriend. She's perfect. And I LOVE her. She's like me. We belong together." He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself. "But, I believe you. I don't know why, but I do. And when I'm around you....Oh bollocks. Just," He started backing away from her. "Just...."
"No, tell me what you were going to say." She spoke, taking a hesitant step towards him.
"When I'm around you," His voice was quiet, barely audible. "I feel complete." He looked away in embarrassment. "I feel like a missing part of me is bloody found. I feel like being GOOD." He looked at her angry. "William the Bloody good?! How is that bloody fucking possible?"
This time she walked right up to him, reaching her hand up and slowly trailing it down his cheek, "It is. I've seen it."
And icy blue eyes met sea green ones, and Spike uttered four single words, "Did you love me?"
"What?" She asked, startled by his question.
"Where you said where you were from, did you love me?" His eyes were deadly seriously, and Buffy felt frozen in place, unable to speak. And, hearing her speechless like this, felt like a deadly blow to his heart. It felt like someone had not only punched him, but taken his heart out and ripped it in two. And, he still didn't know why.
So, he nodded, turning away from her, starting to walk away.
"Spike!" She yelled after him.
But, he rushed away from her at superhuman speed, salty tears making their way down his cheeks for a girl he didn't even know.
And, Buffy sat herself on the ground, watching him disappear from her sight. And, right then she started crying. Her only hope had been crushed because he had to ask her THAT question. The question she had always dreaded answering. The question she didn't know the answer to.
TBC
AN: Was the chapter kind of short or was it me? I dunno. LOL, I actually wrote the last part frist and thought it sounded better as a last part. Anywho, hope you enojyed it and.... PLEASE REVIEW!