Disclaimer: you know the drill
A/N: Alright I know my chapters have been pretty confusing as far as Juu's personality and emotions go but the thing you must keep in mind is.she's having an emotional breakdown people! Granted, a slow one but a breakdown none the less. She IS suffering from mild PTSD so her chemicals are confused and she switches emotions VERY easily. You know, she wasn't all that stable to begin with and now she finds herself pretty much alone. In this fic I'm really trying to explore her character and put a twist on her usual persona. Ideas and criticism are welcome and thanks to all of you who have followed this fic and been patient with me. ~Lady Strange~
Chapter 6-Finding a Means
New Namek. It resembled its namesake a bit, except for the fact that it was covered in green. Trees grew tall overhead, and deserts were few and far between (think Mononoke ;--J ). Trunks popped a capsule and a small yet roomy capsule house appeared. He then began uncapsuling various other items. Inside the "house" was a kitchen with small eating nook, a bathroom and two undersized although comfortable bedrooms, one adjacent from the other. "This is such a beautiful place." Juuhachi announced, looking out the window after settling herself in the larger of the two rooms. "Yeah, well a couple of psychotic Jinzouningen didn't destroy everything here." Retorted Trunks as he came up behind her. She spun violently, her cropped blond locks slapping painfully against her face. "I said I was sorry! How many times do I have to say it?!" "You can say it till you're blue in the face and it still won't be enough! It won't fix my world, and it won't bring any one back!" She looked down and said quietly, "You're right it won't," then she looked up at him again, "but yelling at me and threatening me won't either!!" "Threats! Who said anything about threats! Those are promises! I will kill you one day. Why? Because one day you'll stop pretending to be changed, pretending to be nice, you'll get bored with it, and then you'll revert to the heartless killing machine you were and still are. You'll go on a rampage again, killing everything in sight, and then I'll kill you." "NO!! That's not true! It's not! I've changed, I have! I-" "You haven't changed. You can't. Humans can change but not you. You're not human. You're a thing. A piece of machinery created only to kill, and if it weren't for the respect I have for my mother, I would destroy you right now."
She stared at him with wide eyes knowing he was right. She wasn't human, maybe at one time but not now, and never again. I was wrong to think he could forgive me. How can he when I can't even forgive myself? He hates me and it's never going to change! I can't understand why its hurts so much to know that. It doesn't matter because. "I hate you!" she shouted at him, "I hate you! I was a fool to even think this would work! You're right; I am nothing but a killing machine! I should have died with my brother, he never hated me! I hate you, and your whole fucking planet, and all the rest of the damn humans, and that son of a bitch Gero for making me this way, and my stupid ass of a brother for leaving me alone," she couldn't hold the tears back any longer, " and you, I HATE YOU!! Did I say it already? I'll say it again, I hate you for not making sure I was dead the first time, and I hate your mother for healing me and not letting you kill me now, b-but m- most of all," she cried between sobs, "I- I-I-I HATE MYSELF!! I hate all that I was! I hate it all! I didn't want to kill; I didn't even want the powers I have now I-I just didn't want to die. But now I see it was all a mistake! I should never have trusted Gero; I should have made my brother stay away from him! We should have died! I should have died, but I didn't and look what's happened!" she continued to sob on the floor. Trunks didn't know what to do. He was truly shocked by what he had just seen. He never thought she was capable of crying. Not knowing what he was doing, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" she screamed before flying out the window. "No! Wait!" it was too late, she was gone. "Shit." ************************************************************************ Juuhachi-gou flew away from the house. I'm not human, Trunks said so himself. I'm a machine. Nothing but a machine designed to destroy things. This world is too beautiful for my kind. She flew faster, finally landing on a grassy hill. The Juu of his future is very human. She has a husband and child who love her. She's not a monster. Why can't I be like that!!! Why can't someone love me!! She sighed, no one loves me. You can't love a monster. The picture of a handsome young man with lavender hair floated into her mind. She buried her face in her hands. "He hates me!" she sobbed, "I'm such a fool! How could I think he could ever feel anything for me but hate." She sat, crying quietly to herself, not noticing the figure behind her. My mother wants me to try to understand her. Maybe. "You're crying." He said. "Yeah well, their not real tears. Just implanted water. Jinzouningen don't cry." She answered bitterly. "Ouch. That hurt." "Should I care? Jinzouningen don't have feelings though right? So even if I wanted to I couldn't. I wouldn't even be able to want it. Jinzouningen don't have desires; they only feel what their programmed to feel." "Why do you keep saying that?" "What?" "Jinzouningen this, Jinzouningen that." "It's what I am, isn't it? That's what you told me. Did I catch the words right? 'You're not human. You're a thing. A piece of machinery.' isn't that what you said?" "I-" he began. She cut him off, "you better kill me now, oh wait no, that's not right, destroy, you better destroy me now before I go mad and blast everything. You can only kill beings that are alive. I am an object, a thing as you put it." She stared at him coldly, "well, do it." "Why do you want to die now? I thought you said-" "There's nothing here for me. My brother died and so must I die, I don't want to live alone." "That's very selfish of you" "Yeah well, I'm a heartless monster remember? What do I care?" Trunks sat down beside her. He looked at the stars then he looked at her. God, she was beautiful. What! Wait a minute! Where the hell did that come from?! He sighed, "So, why are you so heartless?" She looked at him sharply then she sighed, "That's the way he wanted us to be." "Who?" "Gero." This wasn't going anywhere. He knew about her, but he wanted to hear it from her. He wanted to know if she was truly sorry for what she and her brother had done. "Do you know why?" She snorted, "Ya, can't kill innocent people with a conscience I suppose." She ran her hand through her hair. "There's just so much shit that went on." He stared at her, "tell me." He said softly. She stared into the blue sea that was his eyes. "My life was hell. He really fucked with our heads you know that? It started out innocent enough. A boy with a twin sister who has a terminal illness, dead parents, and relatives that didn't want them meets a deranged doctor who wanted revenge and immortality, in a garbage dumb of all places. He was only eight years old for Kamisake! We were only eight! What the hell did we know?! Only that the strange man in the long coat told my brother that if we came with him, he could make me 'all better', he could be our new 'papa'. I remember like it was yesterday.
"My my, what a pretty girl" he said taking her chin and gazing into her then green eyes. "Reminds me so much of my own Anyi. She died when she was only 7. How old are you pretty one?" "8" "8? Where are your parents?" "I don't have any. Only my Ni-san" "Ah. I am.so sorry to hear that" "I-" "Who are you talking to?" a young boy interrupted "you shouldn't talk with strangers." "My apologies young man, my name is Dr. Gero. I was just admiring your sister here. She looks so much like my own lost daughter. She tells me you have no parents." "No sir. They're dead" "Hm" he turned to the girl. "Well my pretty, perhaps I'll see you again..." "Please sir." The boy interjected. "My sister, she.she's sick sir.real sick, but I was thinkin' that, well since you're a doctor and all, maybe you could do somethin' for her." The elderly man paused for a moment then "yes young man, I think there is something I can do for her" he replied a bit twistedly, "something I can do for her.and you as well" "I don't understand." "You will my boy, you will." Two small figures followed a darker one down the alley toward the painful future that awaited them.
We were kept in 'capsules'. There was 'the switch' he used it if we were 'disobedient'. One little throw of the switch and BAM instant pain. Sounds fun huh?" He couldn't think of anything to say. She smirked, "but we got ours. Yep, we killed the bustard and blew up his whole lab. Then we went after the humans. Goku was already dead so we didn't have any programming to follow. We were free to go. We could see them all, humans. Happy in their meaningless little lives. It wasn't fair! Why did they deserve happiness? What had we done to deserve such pain? It wasn't supposed to be the way it was. It only started as a little terrorist act. Scare them a bit. Show them what real unhappiness was like. Then it turned into an obsession. Destroy the world! Take revenge! He loved their screams. I only wanted them to die. Wanted it to end, all of it." She turned to him, "I want it to end now!" He was startled to say the least. "What?" "I want it to end now! I want you to kill me now! I don't want this anymore! This painful, meaningless, lonely thing called life. I want you to take it away!" she stared down at the ground and said quietly, "Please." "I can't do that." "Oh I get it! You want me to suffer. When I thought I wanted to live, you would kill me. Now that I want to die, you force me to live. I-I thought that maybe, since we were talking like this, maybe.oh what's the use! That's all it amounts to!" "You're not making sense." "We're enemies, you hate me and I hate you! Only.I got cheated." "Oh? And how is that?" She closed the gap between them and pressed the her lips against his. When she pulled away she whispered, "I don't hate you."
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Trunks could only barely hide his shock. She kissed me! What is going on here? This isn't supposed to happen! She felt so real, so.human. "What are you doing?" She backed away looking mortified. "I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that!" "." She looked at him again, this time with the cold blue eyes that he hadn't seen since the day he had destroyed her brother. She slowly stood up and brushed the dirt from her dress. "I am a machine, nothing more nothing less. Doctor Gero destroyed most of my humanity. Any humanity I had left died with my brother." she launched herself into the air. Trunks stared up at her "where are you going?" "Away from you." He grabbed her arm and held it firmly, "I can't let you go anywhere" "I came here didn't I?" "And I followed you." "Let me go." "I can't" "I'll fight you." "And I'll kill you." "Kill me then." She dared him. "I promised my mother." "Tell her I attacked you. Come on." She ripped open the top of her dress and placed a hand on her exposed chest. "Right here. I know you want to. You threaten me every day. 'I should kill you' 'if it weren't for my mother you'd be gone in an instant' well here's your chance. Rid the universe of this horrible thing!!" she replaced her hand on her chest with his. "Do it! I want a way out!" when he remained unmoving, she shoved him roughly away. "Fine, you won't do it, I will!" she brought her hand to her forehead. "One shot, that's all it takes!" her hands began to twitch and her body shook uncontrollably. She held her hand to her head, pressing her palms to her ears. "No! No! You sick bastard get out of my head! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
She fell from the sky landing with a sickening thud. She then began twitching violently screaming and mumbling to herself. As the voice in her head spoke "piece of junk, worthless thing. No! No, I'm not! Oh yes you are! No, go away! We killed you you're gone! I may be dead but you still belong to me. I control you. You kill who I want you to. I have your mind and therefore you! No! My brother.and I. we.we killed you! Perhaps, perhaps I am only a demon in your head. Go away! You're worthless! A thing, a machine! Do you think he could love you? He hates you, despises you. You mean nothing to him. Ahhhhh!" Trunks she sat up in a cold sweat not realizing anything, only screaming to herself. "You're right! He does hate me!" Trunks landed near to her, afraid to touch her he asked warily, "Juu.Juuhachi? Are you.are you.alright?" she sat up, staring at him before burying her face in her hands. "Scrap metal, nothing more, probably less. Worthless, horrid, evil thing." Trunks moved closer to her, "Juuhachi?" but she only continued to whimper. I have never seen her like this. She has, in my eyes, always been the enemy, slayer of my father and many of the earth's people but now.what is she now? Cold and alone. He sat on the ground near her and pulled her into his lap. Pressing her head against his chest and wrapping his arms around her, he smoothed her hair and allowed her to cry into his shirt. As her body stopped shaking and her breathing slowed, he realized she had gone to sleep.
A/N: Alright I know my chapters have been pretty confusing as far as Juu's personality and emotions go but the thing you must keep in mind is.she's having an emotional breakdown people! Granted, a slow one but a breakdown none the less. She IS suffering from mild PTSD so her chemicals are confused and she switches emotions VERY easily. You know, she wasn't all that stable to begin with and now she finds herself pretty much alone. In this fic I'm really trying to explore her character and put a twist on her usual persona. Ideas and criticism are welcome and thanks to all of you who have followed this fic and been patient with me. ~Lady Strange~
Chapter 6-Finding a Means
New Namek. It resembled its namesake a bit, except for the fact that it was covered in green. Trees grew tall overhead, and deserts were few and far between (think Mononoke ;--J ). Trunks popped a capsule and a small yet roomy capsule house appeared. He then began uncapsuling various other items. Inside the "house" was a kitchen with small eating nook, a bathroom and two undersized although comfortable bedrooms, one adjacent from the other. "This is such a beautiful place." Juuhachi announced, looking out the window after settling herself in the larger of the two rooms. "Yeah, well a couple of psychotic Jinzouningen didn't destroy everything here." Retorted Trunks as he came up behind her. She spun violently, her cropped blond locks slapping painfully against her face. "I said I was sorry! How many times do I have to say it?!" "You can say it till you're blue in the face and it still won't be enough! It won't fix my world, and it won't bring any one back!" She looked down and said quietly, "You're right it won't," then she looked up at him again, "but yelling at me and threatening me won't either!!" "Threats! Who said anything about threats! Those are promises! I will kill you one day. Why? Because one day you'll stop pretending to be changed, pretending to be nice, you'll get bored with it, and then you'll revert to the heartless killing machine you were and still are. You'll go on a rampage again, killing everything in sight, and then I'll kill you." "NO!! That's not true! It's not! I've changed, I have! I-" "You haven't changed. You can't. Humans can change but not you. You're not human. You're a thing. A piece of machinery created only to kill, and if it weren't for the respect I have for my mother, I would destroy you right now."
She stared at him with wide eyes knowing he was right. She wasn't human, maybe at one time but not now, and never again. I was wrong to think he could forgive me. How can he when I can't even forgive myself? He hates me and it's never going to change! I can't understand why its hurts so much to know that. It doesn't matter because. "I hate you!" she shouted at him, "I hate you! I was a fool to even think this would work! You're right; I am nothing but a killing machine! I should have died with my brother, he never hated me! I hate you, and your whole fucking planet, and all the rest of the damn humans, and that son of a bitch Gero for making me this way, and my stupid ass of a brother for leaving me alone," she couldn't hold the tears back any longer, " and you, I HATE YOU!! Did I say it already? I'll say it again, I hate you for not making sure I was dead the first time, and I hate your mother for healing me and not letting you kill me now, b-but m- most of all," she cried between sobs, "I- I-I-I HATE MYSELF!! I hate all that I was! I hate it all! I didn't want to kill; I didn't even want the powers I have now I-I just didn't want to die. But now I see it was all a mistake! I should never have trusted Gero; I should have made my brother stay away from him! We should have died! I should have died, but I didn't and look what's happened!" she continued to sob on the floor. Trunks didn't know what to do. He was truly shocked by what he had just seen. He never thought she was capable of crying. Not knowing what he was doing, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't touch me!" she screamed before flying out the window. "No! Wait!" it was too late, she was gone. "Shit." ************************************************************************ Juuhachi-gou flew away from the house. I'm not human, Trunks said so himself. I'm a machine. Nothing but a machine designed to destroy things. This world is too beautiful for my kind. She flew faster, finally landing on a grassy hill. The Juu of his future is very human. She has a husband and child who love her. She's not a monster. Why can't I be like that!!! Why can't someone love me!! She sighed, no one loves me. You can't love a monster. The picture of a handsome young man with lavender hair floated into her mind. She buried her face in her hands. "He hates me!" she sobbed, "I'm such a fool! How could I think he could ever feel anything for me but hate." She sat, crying quietly to herself, not noticing the figure behind her. My mother wants me to try to understand her. Maybe. "You're crying." He said. "Yeah well, their not real tears. Just implanted water. Jinzouningen don't cry." She answered bitterly. "Ouch. That hurt." "Should I care? Jinzouningen don't have feelings though right? So even if I wanted to I couldn't. I wouldn't even be able to want it. Jinzouningen don't have desires; they only feel what their programmed to feel." "Why do you keep saying that?" "What?" "Jinzouningen this, Jinzouningen that." "It's what I am, isn't it? That's what you told me. Did I catch the words right? 'You're not human. You're a thing. A piece of machinery.' isn't that what you said?" "I-" he began. She cut him off, "you better kill me now, oh wait no, that's not right, destroy, you better destroy me now before I go mad and blast everything. You can only kill beings that are alive. I am an object, a thing as you put it." She stared at him coldly, "well, do it." "Why do you want to die now? I thought you said-" "There's nothing here for me. My brother died and so must I die, I don't want to live alone." "That's very selfish of you" "Yeah well, I'm a heartless monster remember? What do I care?" Trunks sat down beside her. He looked at the stars then he looked at her. God, she was beautiful. What! Wait a minute! Where the hell did that come from?! He sighed, "So, why are you so heartless?" She looked at him sharply then she sighed, "That's the way he wanted us to be." "Who?" "Gero." This wasn't going anywhere. He knew about her, but he wanted to hear it from her. He wanted to know if she was truly sorry for what she and her brother had done. "Do you know why?" She snorted, "Ya, can't kill innocent people with a conscience I suppose." She ran her hand through her hair. "There's just so much shit that went on." He stared at her, "tell me." He said softly. She stared into the blue sea that was his eyes. "My life was hell. He really fucked with our heads you know that? It started out innocent enough. A boy with a twin sister who has a terminal illness, dead parents, and relatives that didn't want them meets a deranged doctor who wanted revenge and immortality, in a garbage dumb of all places. He was only eight years old for Kamisake! We were only eight! What the hell did we know?! Only that the strange man in the long coat told my brother that if we came with him, he could make me 'all better', he could be our new 'papa'. I remember like it was yesterday.
"My my, what a pretty girl" he said taking her chin and gazing into her then green eyes. "Reminds me so much of my own Anyi. She died when she was only 7. How old are you pretty one?" "8" "8? Where are your parents?" "I don't have any. Only my Ni-san" "Ah. I am.so sorry to hear that" "I-" "Who are you talking to?" a young boy interrupted "you shouldn't talk with strangers." "My apologies young man, my name is Dr. Gero. I was just admiring your sister here. She looks so much like my own lost daughter. She tells me you have no parents." "No sir. They're dead" "Hm" he turned to the girl. "Well my pretty, perhaps I'll see you again..." "Please sir." The boy interjected. "My sister, she.she's sick sir.real sick, but I was thinkin' that, well since you're a doctor and all, maybe you could do somethin' for her." The elderly man paused for a moment then "yes young man, I think there is something I can do for her" he replied a bit twistedly, "something I can do for her.and you as well" "I don't understand." "You will my boy, you will." Two small figures followed a darker one down the alley toward the painful future that awaited them.
We were kept in 'capsules'. There was 'the switch' he used it if we were 'disobedient'. One little throw of the switch and BAM instant pain. Sounds fun huh?" He couldn't think of anything to say. She smirked, "but we got ours. Yep, we killed the bustard and blew up his whole lab. Then we went after the humans. Goku was already dead so we didn't have any programming to follow. We were free to go. We could see them all, humans. Happy in their meaningless little lives. It wasn't fair! Why did they deserve happiness? What had we done to deserve such pain? It wasn't supposed to be the way it was. It only started as a little terrorist act. Scare them a bit. Show them what real unhappiness was like. Then it turned into an obsession. Destroy the world! Take revenge! He loved their screams. I only wanted them to die. Wanted it to end, all of it." She turned to him, "I want it to end now!" He was startled to say the least. "What?" "I want it to end now! I want you to kill me now! I don't want this anymore! This painful, meaningless, lonely thing called life. I want you to take it away!" she stared down at the ground and said quietly, "Please." "I can't do that." "Oh I get it! You want me to suffer. When I thought I wanted to live, you would kill me. Now that I want to die, you force me to live. I-I thought that maybe, since we were talking like this, maybe.oh what's the use! That's all it amounts to!" "You're not making sense." "We're enemies, you hate me and I hate you! Only.I got cheated." "Oh? And how is that?" She closed the gap between them and pressed the her lips against his. When she pulled away she whispered, "I don't hate you."
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Trunks could only barely hide his shock. She kissed me! What is going on here? This isn't supposed to happen! She felt so real, so.human. "What are you doing?" She backed away looking mortified. "I-I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that!" "." She looked at him again, this time with the cold blue eyes that he hadn't seen since the day he had destroyed her brother. She slowly stood up and brushed the dirt from her dress. "I am a machine, nothing more nothing less. Doctor Gero destroyed most of my humanity. Any humanity I had left died with my brother." she launched herself into the air. Trunks stared up at her "where are you going?" "Away from you." He grabbed her arm and held it firmly, "I can't let you go anywhere" "I came here didn't I?" "And I followed you." "Let me go." "I can't" "I'll fight you." "And I'll kill you." "Kill me then." She dared him. "I promised my mother." "Tell her I attacked you. Come on." She ripped open the top of her dress and placed a hand on her exposed chest. "Right here. I know you want to. You threaten me every day. 'I should kill you' 'if it weren't for my mother you'd be gone in an instant' well here's your chance. Rid the universe of this horrible thing!!" she replaced her hand on her chest with his. "Do it! I want a way out!" when he remained unmoving, she shoved him roughly away. "Fine, you won't do it, I will!" she brought her hand to her forehead. "One shot, that's all it takes!" her hands began to twitch and her body shook uncontrollably. She held her hand to her head, pressing her palms to her ears. "No! No! You sick bastard get out of my head! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
She fell from the sky landing with a sickening thud. She then began twitching violently screaming and mumbling to herself. As the voice in her head spoke "piece of junk, worthless thing. No! No, I'm not! Oh yes you are! No, go away! We killed you you're gone! I may be dead but you still belong to me. I control you. You kill who I want you to. I have your mind and therefore you! No! My brother.and I. we.we killed you! Perhaps, perhaps I am only a demon in your head. Go away! You're worthless! A thing, a machine! Do you think he could love you? He hates you, despises you. You mean nothing to him. Ahhhhh!" Trunks she sat up in a cold sweat not realizing anything, only screaming to herself. "You're right! He does hate me!" Trunks landed near to her, afraid to touch her he asked warily, "Juu.Juuhachi? Are you.are you.alright?" she sat up, staring at him before burying her face in her hands. "Scrap metal, nothing more, probably less. Worthless, horrid, evil thing." Trunks moved closer to her, "Juuhachi?" but she only continued to whimper. I have never seen her like this. She has, in my eyes, always been the enemy, slayer of my father and many of the earth's people but now.what is she now? Cold and alone. He sat on the ground near her and pulled her into his lap. Pressing her head against his chest and wrapping his arms around her, he smoothed her hair and allowed her to cry into his shirt. As her body stopped shaking and her breathing slowed, he realized she had gone to sleep.