NAME: Towel (9/15/01 – 9/20/01)
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com
TITLE: Papa-Kenji… Please No More
RATING: PG-13
NOTE: I guess when I used to submit on some other site this is the result with all these ummmmm… colons and stuff format for my stories. Anywayzzzz yes, yes, I knowwwwwww sigh. I can't believe it's almost three weeks now since I started writing this story. Kinda strange… kindaaaaaaa. Woooooo, ghosty. So besides Papa have anybody read Disturbance or SM Core? Those are my other lil' stories, I don't know if anybody has ever read them and they're so good. I think it's one because ASMR is always about love stories and stuff; people come here to read love stories and not stories that involve fighting. (-------Loves fighting stories. GRRRRRRR! SM Core must not be too good for something even though it's been almost two years since I started writing it. Disturbance on the other hand is kinda… well… it's getting up there I guess. Not a very widely expressed story but then again… sometimes a lot of stories are worst. Okay I love er'body and I thank er'body for the wonderful e-mails but to some people… people… SIGH… look I'm terribly sorry that my story apparently "sucks" because of this thing between Mamoru and Motoki, god. Give me a break. Are we talking about people living in confinement from the amazing VARITY of people we have in this world? Besides that they're FAKE! I hate to think that too but it's true! Then again some people write some awesome e-mails giving me attention (loves attention) and I thank them sooooooo much now I feel like Mina Spears (shut up! No comments! Don't ask!). I can't believe people actually liked this story and they've been telling me that so nyah-nyah to that mean person who's just hatin'. I'm pretty sure whoever'll be back just to read chapter 3, don't worry, I got you hooked so THERE. Boo-ya! OOPSSSSSSS! Okay. Music of Choice: N'Sync "Gone." Why? Cause I'm kinda an impulsive buyer. I mean I'm shocked myself… I bought an N'Sync album… oh god… me? Because of this one song I heard on the radio and was like… "That's so tight" then (don't laugh) almost got into a wreck on the freeway going to work. Anyway, I like them I guess, nothing against them at all except they're luckyyyyy (whines whines I wanna be a star). Especially Lance. Justin… cut-throat sorry Justin fans reading this. Speaking of stardom I have an audtion this Tuesday… wish me luck!
THANKS: MINIMOON! Thanks so much for dedicating a story to me now this is to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!( Thank you again (I thank a lot) everyone who told me my story was good, and goddess Naoko who needs to get back to work (demanding demanding Towel)!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~PAPA-KENJI… PLEASE NO MORE~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER 3
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Usagi tightened her eyes feeling them burn with tears as she heard her Papa-Kenji move in toward her room his dress shoes for work clamping sheer echoing terror at every step he took up the steps.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Usagi's heart beat all most in sync with the pending apprehension. Her room was dark and she tried desperately to blend into it. To simply disappear and vanish into the darkness and never be seen again. To just die and drift far away from people's brains so she wouldn't be remembered as the girl who suffered just too much.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Peeking in over her covers that blanketed her in fire she looked at the door, which would soon open to her nightmare and heard softly as her father's shoes went at command before the door brimming the small light from the other side, which would collect farther off in Usagi's darkness.
The doorknob began to twist.
Usagi cringed and seep deeper into her covers and began to sob crying with an awful whimpering sound escaping her ghostly lips.
The door opened slowly Usagi could hear and practically began to feel her father reach for her, throw his hand over he mouth choking out her murderous cries and began to strip her down and go about his horrendous business with his daughter…
The covers were to protect the traumatized blond but it didn't help as slowly the large man walked into the room unlike never before their mother died and he threw the covers over a shattered Usagi and threw his rough violent hands onto her chest.
"NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Usagi shot up screaming her terror shackling the hearts of those who stood and sat near her in the waiting room of the local hospital.
Usagi kept screaming, her throat cut raw in her nightmarish terror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
A group of people frighten moved away from the screaming Usagi and rose in panic demanding someone to come help her. If Usagi only knew, only knew that it was all a dream, a nightmare, that she'd fell asleep in the hospital and was waking up from what was a clear imprint of the past but what was simply that… the past, then maybe Usagi wouldn't have reacted the way she did being startled demanding NO MORE from the dream.
It didn't help that she didn't open her sopping teary eyes to see that she was safe.
Usagi clutched herself against the sofa she laid on in the waiting room, she rolled around and cried and cried and screaming and patted and fought the air trying to get the "demon" off her. Tried to keep the "demon" from putting himself wrongfully into her. Cried and cried and couldn't stress how painful it was.
It wasn't until a fairly tall beautiful blue-haired woman doctor came that Usagi was able to snap out of her outlandish without doing any harm against herself or others.
"Right here doctor," a male nurse pointed the way for the doctor who's soft blue eyes watched the terrified blond who laid screaming on the sofa.
Clicking on her heels throwing back her blazing white coat the doctor tucked a strand of her pinned up hair behind her ears and walked over toward the girl and began to talk to the girl… the girl who'd she remembered came into the hospital with one of her patients the brown-headed girl who'd been shot along with her sister. It was just about thirty minutes ago when the doctor last saw the girl who laid screaming on the sofa with her long blond hair braided and wearing a light blue baseball cap. The doctor also remembered the girl's name.
"Serenity! Serenity!" called the doctor worried, confused, and a bit disturbed at the girl. The doctor began to tap the girl carefully wherever she could without being swatted away, each tap more and more forceful until she'd finally got "Serenity" to calm down. The blond laid face up on the sofa her body going limp and she opened her weak soggy eyes with an insane blazing beastly bulged which startled Mizuno out of her heels but just as quickly the girl blinked and turned to look in need of help at the doctor as she began to relax from the nightmare her eyes softening from their gigantic stare.
"Doctor Mizuno," Usagi whispered softly in praise and before she could think she reached up and threw the doctor in a hug holding her tight sobbing in her arms feeling the smallest bit safe once again. "It was so horrible," Usagi let loose sniveling. "So horrible."
Doctor Mizuno thought at first her patient's "sister" Serenity was having a nightmare that her "sister" had died but that wasn't the full case. Doctor Mizuno knew something else had to be going on. Besides that Serenity looked too familiar to her. From somewhere else, too odd and unexplainable to her liking but nothing to distaughting. Still the kind woman held the girl, held her like a child she wished to have very soon in her life. The child she tried to have but… unfortunately lost which led to the lost of her recent husband which…
Doctor Mizuno stopped her thoughts immediately.
Usagi moved away from the woman staring at her sharp established blue eyes. Still taking the girl in her hold Doctor Mizuno sat down next to Usagi and began to stroke her hair setting the girl at ease, making her feel comfortable in her arms, comfortable and safe knowing it was all over. No more. No more of whatever was really going on behind her shady ensemble.
"Makoto is going to be alright," Doctor Mizuno tried to reassure in her warming voice rubbing Usagi's quivering back. She wasn't really so sure herself. Makoto was in… stable coma condition at the moment and Mizuno continued to check on her but… she didn't know. Something just seemed wrong. Nevertheless, it was Usagi's sanity she was concerned about at that time happy that security wasn't going to have to get involved. "Makoto will wake up at any moment Serenity," Mizuno continued to talk motherly to the girl who in fact no longer had a mother and needed the feelings of love once more and forever. "Keep your faith and keep praying. Your sister will be just fine."
Usagi choked on her upcoming words. She had started to tell the sympathetic gracious Doctor Mizuno the truth. The truth that her name wasn't Serenity and Makoto wasn't her sister at all. All these simple lies, to keep her and her brother safe, Usagi had to do what she had to do simple as that. She didn't like to lie but apparently that's all she was capable off the pass months since her mother died. Lies. Lied to her friends, her horrible father, her brother, lied to everyone, keep everything away from everyone. Usagi just wanted to crawl into a hold and asphyxiate herself with mounts upon mounts of earth until she lay drowned out to the world as a rotten maggot infested corpse.
The blond shudder and hiccupped an "I'm okay."
Mizuno looked weirdly at her and asked was she sure.
Rolling up a sorrow-looking smile Usagi nodded quickly then asked was it okay that she go see Makoto now.
And so Mizuno led the way Usagi holding tight onto her as the two walked the chilling silver-like corridors of the hospital.
My fault as usual, Usagi's dark thoughts continued to plague her. I probably put somebody else into a coma with all that yelling. Just a dream, a nightmare, a nightmare that was very true. Very literal and very fully developed in reality. God, if I were just to die right here right now… but Shingo…
The two slowed their pace as the moved into Makoto's room. With the currents drawn against the night and the room softly glowing by a tiny lap stood Haruka standing anxious and sadden over her sisters' hospital bed. And Makoto… laid sleep resting like a baby… almost. Normally babies in the sometimes safety of their warm homes wouldn't be on some IV, wouldn't have tubes and foreign objects jutting in their bodies… wouldn't be in a coma. A baby would be curled up, cozy and protected and snuggled against a teddy bear drifting off to sleep knowing someone was right there as it pranced through streams of chocolate and trees of lolly-pops. As Usagi looked tenderly at Makoto she couldn't imagine those kind of dreams, she smile at herself for seeing Makoto going high-tailing daringly through some dangerous situations on one of her damn motorcycles.
So there Makoto laid along with the arraying "beep, beep, beeps" going on near her. At the other end of the room near the window were some cushioning seats and Mizuno suggested Usagi lay on one of those for a while and watch the TV playing across from Makoto for her view point, if she'd open her eyes, propped on some kind of ceiling dolly (AN: GOD, whatever they're called. I broke one once by accident), fearfully Usagi dejected. Lying would mean sleeping for her tired soul, and sleeping would mean nightmares, and nightmares would mean Papa-Kenji.
"I'll just stand thank you," Usagi informed Mizuno giving Mizuno a shy "thanks for your concern" smile.
Doctor Mizuno shrugged being just about an inch taller than the blond, looked over the room, and then exited.
Looking at Makoto Usagi felt like she had no right to be there. She and Makoto weren't… but then she remembered how Makoto bravely saved her, how this all started in the first place. Yes… she had ever right to be there.
But still it's my fault; once again the dark thoughts of Usagi chimed it. I should be the one laying there!
"You know I keep thinking she can hear me," Haruka spoke up faithfully leaning against Makoto's bed her hands clamped over her sister's eye-balling Makoto with such compassion in her eyes that wanted to cry but just wouldn't.
Why isn't she blaming me? Usagi wondered playing with her fingers nervously. Why hasn't she said anything horrible to me? Why is she holding back!? WHY!? WHY! WHY!? I'M NOT SOME CHILD SO STOP HOLDING BACK! Say what you want to say! Get it over with! It's my damn fault! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
Usagi snapped her head away with a turn frowning the floor like a slap in the face. Her thoughts working away as she began to toy with her single braided hair moving from the vacant game she had with her fingers. Silence. All she could think of was remaining silent. Maybe she didn't want to know what Haruka wanted to say; maybe it was better this way.
"WHOA-WHOA-WHOA MINA (MINA)!!!!!! TRULY OUTRAGEOUS, TRULY TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEOUS! WHOA-WHOA-WHOA MINA (MINA)!!!!"
Caught in the chanting musical singing on TV Usagi looked up and once again there she was… the blond goddess. Mina Spears.
For a second Usagi wanted to jealously knock the hell out of the teen blond popstar but kind of alleviated herself away from anything violent as she watched with interest.
"Hi everyone!" Mina Spears spoke before the cameras broadcasting all over Japan, herself speaking Japanese. "Only days left before my final concert here and I want everyone to be apart of it! It's going to be a major cool wicked blast! And everyone's-"
PEWW! The TV went off.
Usagi blinked thinking it was just her that saw that but turned to find Haruka holding up the remote frowning.
Haruka looked at Usagi. "Plastic little bitch," she spat then tossed the remote over into one of the seats near the window. Haruka then turned her attention back toward her sister.
Usagi gazed at Haruka and wondered… wondered sooooooo deeply. Was that Haruka's way of telling Usagi to get lost for all the trouble she's done? Taking things out on some girl who's living her dream where as all three of those in the room now weren't?
Longing to watch the commercial and the concert, Usagi looked back up at the screen but didn't defy to turn it back on. She just gawked and remembered her impossible plan. Mina Spears took a private jet here so if Usagi could only get the girl to let her aboard with her brother…
Usagi almost laughed. It sounded so stupid but why did she believe so much in it?
"You want to be like her don't you?"
"Huh?" Usagi's notice turned back toward Haruka who was looking at her with a smirking smile.
Haruka waved a hand toward the up-propping TV. "Like that little tramp. You want to be like her?"
Usagi smiled shyly and looked down at her feet playing with her braid even more. "Mina Spears isn't a tramp Haruka. She's just very determined and lucky. Everyone thinks she's some kind of breast implant infested slut but that's not true." Usagi's eyes began to water up in pure envy. "She's just lucky Haruka. She's living her dreams making the right decisions to get toward it without letting anything get in her path like the things we've gotten into."
"And what's that suppose to mean!?" Haruka demanded standing up right startling Usagi who unrepentantly witnessed Haruka take her statement overboard.
Shaken Usagi hesitated to speak watching for what Haruka was going to do next but Haruka just glared at her like a monster throwing a finger at her own chest.
"You think me and my sister DESERVEDDDDDD this!? HUH!? HUH!?" Haruka shouted. "You think we ASKED to be kicked out of our damn house? Our good home!? A home where I was going to school, I had a boyfriend, making money, preparing for college!?"
"Ha-Ha-Haruka I'm sorry," stammered Usagi trying to calm the up roaring girl down. But Haruka came marching in front of Usagi who backed into the door terrified as the tall girl loomed over her like a dark angry cloud threatening total disaster. Haruka pressed her chest up into Usagi's face treacherously.
"You BETTER be sorry for what you just said," Haruka said darkly. "Because everything that's happening that's gotten so worst is your fault!"
PANG! It was like Usagi's heart finally was able to shatter and she literally felt it painfully vibrate as Haruka's words echoed in her damaged mine, but there was also a sigh of relief. Finally… finally, someone besides herself tortured her mentally.
Haruka saw Usagi looking quietly off into space and began to back off from the girl. She'd been holding back telling Usagi the truth for awhile now, been holding back so much, now that she'd saw she hurt the girl even worst than she already was she felt a small regret, but not big enough to bring her own sister back and healthy. Haruka believe Usagi had had enough and set in motion her body to move back to her sister's side stiffen as it may be.
Haruka peeked at Usagi who continued to eye space. Haruka would let her stay. Maybe dye her hair like she did but she'd let Usagi stay only cause she liked the girl. Saw some strange potential in her. That is until Usagi would get in her way. Then Haruka felt that's when she'd have to let her go.
Inside Usagi was murdering herself over and over and over and over and over again.
Rubbing a towel through his wet recently washed hair Motoki stepped into the living room, where Mamoru was seated, his manly bare feet patting on the wood floor of his home's main hallway. Motoki stopped in the doorway and looked. Once again there was Mamoru bent over looking at the photograph of the girl. The Usagi girl. Deep in thought wondering to himself.
Motoki sighed rolling his eyes leaning against the doorframe and tried to think up of something that could break Mamoru from the damn thoughts he obsessed over on finding this girl. Motoki couldn't see it. What was so special about this girl? Was it her strange alien looking hairstyle? WHAT!? He just didn't get it and Mamoru really didn't get it himself he thought.
Still Mamoru studied and studied and tried to work out whatever he needed to understand.
Motoki tried a little joke to get some progressing order around there. "Next time we go out to eat let's not pick Italian," he joked referring to spaghetti sauce a waitress dumped over his head while losing her balance. Mamoru just gazed at the picture. Motoki huffed and tried again. "You know you should try thinking of me a little more often."
Still no respond.
Motoki grimaced and moved in onto the carpet now of his living room and stood before Mamoru looking down at the picture.
"I'm getting soooooo jealous Mamoruuuuuuuu," Motoki cooed touching Mamoru's neck.
Mamoru didn't stir.
Motoki threw his hands on his hips and looked at Mamoru fiercely getting fed up. "Mamoru!" he demanded. "Wake up! The girl is dead! Someone kidnapped her and her brother and killed them!"
No responds still.
Motoki then snatched the photograph of the girl and held it into the air. The alarmed Mamoru stood up commanding Motoki to hand the picture back but Motoki went around the living room laughing and skipping around finally getting Mamoru's attention as Mamoru chased after him delighted at his success.
"Motoki quit playing! This isn't a game!" Mamoru insisted almost urgently.
"Oh yeah?" Motoki grinned turning around to where Mamoru and him had the sofa between the two. "Well it is to me," Motoki's eyes glittering with pride in ripping the girl from Mamoru's eyes even for just a second. "You want to know what else is a game to me?" he then added lowly.
"What?" Mamoru smiled creakingly.
"This-" Motoki reached to kiss Mamoru but Mamoru totally put Motoki on shut down as he snatched the photograph and turned away from Motoki quickly stuffing the picture in his pocket.
"You're no funnnnnnn," whined Motoki kicking at the carpet.
Mamoru started to head for the door out. "Maybe next time."
BAM!
Mamoru was gone. With a sigh Motoki vault onto the sofa and turned on the TV cursing.
It felt like Usagi was back in hell as she looked up at her dark old ethereal home… her past. Yellow crime scene tape lining around the entire gate leading into their small yard and across the front door as an X. The house looked down on her almost like it was ready to swallow her back into its darkness. Glaring at her, those awful dark phantom eyes staring at her with such hatred. The house seem to spew with Kenji written on it ready to drown Usagi back down in one final revengeful glump.
Despite the warm summer night Usagi felt coldness wrap around her thin body and instinctively she reached and crossed her arms tight over herself to try to keep warm. It wasn't working… the coldness was also shuddering somewhere inside of her body too and pushing forward quickly which caused her to have small visions of the most explicit things she never really want to remember… then…. Well then there were the better visions. Visions of her mother, her family, how she used to be late for school every morning, how she would whine over the simplistic things, and the happiness she once had. Happiness snatched away too fast that it made her nose want to bleed and left her head spinning with uncertainty and a knife carving itself into her back.
Why am I looking at this? Usagi wondered looking up at the evil house. Why did I walk from the hospital all the way here just to look at this piece of crap? What's my problem?
Settled in the swallow shades of tree below the dimly lit glowing street lamps the blond stood wondering where'd it all ended and actually began. WHEN would it all end and WHEN would her new life begin?
"You shouldn't be around here," a wintry voice proclaimed and Usagi looked cautiously on full alert as a man dressed in black but shaded by the shadows which made him blend into them all too well to see him clearly stepped in front of the gate before her old home. The man looked from her up to the house, all Usagi could see was the shifting of his rock-like head.
At first Usagi felt awkward around the man. She felt invaded as if he knew something about her thoughts or something other than that, like he'd been standing there the whole time reading them. The different things probably. Something wasn't right but it felt right to her as she looked at the man. The man who stood there a few feet away to her left. It was dangerous to be at the house in the first place, but it was so late Usagi figured no one would be around and no one was except this man.
Looking from the man Usagi focused back on the house… particularly toward her dark bedroom window and wavered long enough to ask the man why shouldn't she be here.
The man shifted his weight onto his right leg in the darkness and waited awhile before he spoke. "It's a mad house," was the first thing that came from him. Hearing so made Usagi's heart jump and she glanced at the man wondering deeply about how would the hell he know what it is. He didn't live there; he wasn't apart of the happy moments. How could he say that, he had no right! Sure everything crumbled apart but it wasn't a madhouse… it was just… gone astray… no longer feeling. "The owner of the home was murdered. No one knows for sure, haven't you heard?"
Usagi shook her head replying that she hadn't even though she knew the entire thing. She figured this was a time she could learn what people were saying. What they were REALLY saying.
"Two of the children here are missing. We have reason to believe that one of the children committed the crime."
Usagi tittered a little losing her balance then straightened back up. So she was a suspect… a criminal. And what did he mean by "we?" Was he a police officer or something? Usagi looked long and hard and mad at him. How would he know, what did he know!? He knew nothing! Nothing at all!
Her anger drove her filled with passion and she turned fiercely with her fist at her sides toward the man. "How can you say that," she cried full of emotions leaving her thoughts of keeping it cool behind but wanting to tell somebody else what happened. Let the police know somehow, get some idea that this wasn't how they thought it was.
The man looked surprised at her outburst and backed up a little trying to look closer at her. "How I can… say…?" the man sputtered.
"You police think you know everything!" the blond continued tears burning the corners of her eyes. "You know nothing! Maybe the father hurted the children. Maybe he did things to her – to them!" Her tears rang out at that point like little droplets of rain. "Maybe there wasn't a choice! Maybe their father wanted to die and was telling his children that's what he wanted!"
The man in dark shook his head pitifully at Usagi. "Tsk-tsk, you pathetic little girl."
Usagi blinked shedding her last tears. Why was he calling me pathetic? Asked Usagi silently. It's true but…
The man took marching steps toward her and Usagi backed off as he got closer, and closer, then she turned and ran up the street away from him, turned and looked back as he stopped where she once stood. What made her run and what made her stop she couldn't figure out but as she looked at the man she felt this odd feeling jolt through her and for a quick second felt a small relieving weight remove itself from over her heart.
It was all cut short as Usagi flew as fast as she could to the boathouse… her horrible stuffy small hangout coated in blood.
"USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Her arm feeling numb propped under her head Usagi opened her sleepy eyes and blinked them in the darkness woken up from the "alarm" she was hearing that hurted her ears. She peeled her arm and head off of the desk in the small boathouse room she was resting in and looked immediately toward Shingo who was tossing and literally having a seizure in the small bunk where Makoto once laid dying.
Usagi narrowed her sleepy eyes and slipped off the stool she sat on running to Shingo's wailing side. She grabbed his bare warm arms and shook him and shook him until he stopped moving and just went wilting limp. His eyes tightened close shut he slowly opened them, Usagi glanced at the door hoping Haruka wouldn't come blazing in then turned back toward her terrified brother in question. He looked fearfully at her his eyes wild like those of some outrageous horse or cow walking the mutilation plank. Seeing her brother like this HORRIFIED Usagi. That look in his eyes was so crazy so wild of a beast to bare and it made he realize Shingo was feeling it too. Those feelings, those nightmares, that dark vacant monster inside eating at him like it was doing Usagi. He was feeling those things too. The insanity! The damn insanity!
Please blink Shingo, Usagi's head cried. Blink! Blink! Blink! Blink!
She couldn't stand to look at Shingo's eyes and dropped her brother practically shoving him back down onto the thin mattress and snapped her head away from him.
Why won't he blink!? WHY!? Why won't he close those awful eyes! Close them! Close those insane eyes! Demon eyes looking for a price to pay with someone's life! INSANE! CLOSE THEM!
"Usagi what's wrong?" Shingo's meek voice asked in the darkness the only light from the moonlight peeking through the small window as the houseboat floated clutched to bay.
Usagi turned back slowly toward her brother fearing his eyes and saw him looking at her fine. His eyes… his eyes were no longer full of psychosis but that of a young man, calm, reduced of his nightmare. The normal Shingo… but not quite him.
Instantly Usagi threw him in a hug and told him again and again how much she loved and cared for him. She'd do anything to keep him from going insane like her. From straining the beast from within out of him through his eyes.
Usagi kept hold onto her warm brother keeping him protected and close.
Shingo started crying as he explained his nightmare. "It was bad Usagi. Everyone was dead. Too many people died. Too many of them for us Usagi." Shingo sniffled. "You died."
Usagi released him and looked closely into his green eyes that seem to glow like a beacon of what was left of Usagi's very own sanity.
I died, she thought. No… it was just a dream.
Usagi smiled and pushed Shingo's wet matted hair from his face trying to talk him back to sleep. "Just a dream Shingo. I'm right here see? All it was was a dream."
Shingo looked sadly into his lap. "When will all this be over? And what's in America?"
Usagi sighed deeply looking at her brother continuing to smile. "It's just my dream Shingo. A place where I can instantly become a star," she chuckled a little shrugging. "I don't know. Make lots of money and take care of us both. We can start over there away from the people looking for us."
Shingo turned looking readily at her. "What about grandma and grandpa?"
Usagi shook her head eyes closed. "We can't go to them Shingo."
"WHY!?" he spat.
"Because Shingo," she narrowed her eyes frustrated at his continual disagreements. "We go to them then we'll never see each other anymore. I'm going to jail if we're caught Shingo."
Shingo began to cry a little. "But I'm the one who did it! I shot dad!"
"No, no, no, no, but it's my fault you did," Usagi protested shaking her head. "I'm going. At least for you."
Shingo then closed his mouth. She was protecting him and he knew that somehow Usagi knew what she was doing. That his sister knew what was right and that she was doing the right thing. He trusted her so much but at that moment his trust for her grew like wildfire. He realized she really was there for him. She really did love him.
Shingo remained quiet and slowly Usagi laid him down into the bed. "Now go back to sleep Shingo. Don't be afraid I'm going to be right here."
It took her awhile but finally Usagi got Shingo to fall asleep again. She watched him sleep peacefully and realized how much stronger he's been since all this, strong and respectful. It felt strange but it felt necessary somehow to her. Then there was that look in his eyes. That dreadful insane look…
"Usagi!" the door suddenly busted open shaking Usagi who stood up as one of the girls in Makoto and Haruka's gang came through calling her name.
"What's the matter?" Usagi stood up adrenaline at rushing speed fearing the police had found her and her brother. Panic for escape.
"It's Makoto!" the girl announced hurriedly. "We just got back from the hospital she's not doing so well. Critical maybe."
Usagi raised her hands to her chest moaning. "Will you please take me there?"
The girl nodded and Usagi pushed her feet into her shoes and followed the girl out into the night. With Shingo being kept watch on over by two other girls Usagi ran along the wood deck, up through the sand and into the patch of trees where she hopped onto the motorcycle the girl drove and the two took off to be by Makoto's side.
Pray, pray, pray, pray, Usagi could only do as she rushed into the hospital and was thrown into confusion as she saw a team of officers standing before the emergency room receptionist desk. Oh no! What were they doing? She wondered.
Usagi and the other girl stopped before them Usagi keeping her and her disguise low. The usual. A long single fat braid with her blue baseball cap. Not much but enough… maybe.
One officer noticed them and turned.
Usagi was nervous as then the others all turned and moved toward her and the girl who'd got her the ride to the hosptial.
"Don't say anything," the girl whispered toward Usagi barely moving her mouth. "Let me do all the talking."
Usagi nodded fearfully.
"Hi there ladies," one officer in lead greeted fakely. "We have reason to believe someone we're looking for has been visiting the hospital here and we're checking ID so let's see them…" the man held out his hand.
So someone did realize who I was… Oh my god…was it? Doctor Mizuno who told… was it her that betrayed me? Usagi's feelings burning.
Usagi just wanted to turn and run! Run! Run! AND RUNNNNNNNNNN! But she couldn't cause for some strange reason as much as she wanted to run she felt nailed to the floor.
There was a long silent stillness and Usagi waited impatiently for the girl to do what she had to do. But she was doing absolutely nothing and it seemed like hours before the rescue came.
"What're doing!?" a familiar voice demanded and up came running Doctor Mizuno. She halted before the officers wearing her heels and looked at them angrily. "What's your problem? I told you my two daughters were coming in. They're underage you idiots. No ID."
Usagi felt… a funny feeling inside. Once again someone was risking something to help her. Her of all people. Doctor Mizuno… Usagi regretted every bit of her previous feelings of betrayal.
"Go ahead," the officer ordered not the least bit really buying what was going on but decided it was useless to gripe. He knew Doctor Mizuno's ways.
Doctor Mizuno took Usagi and led her and Usagi felt good in the woman's arms to the point where she wanted to cry as she told Doctor Mizuno thank you in a low low low voice away from the officers' hearing range.
Doctor Mizuno was silent until they got into the elevator and she turned to Usagi. "You're real name isn't Serenity is it?" Mizuno asked solemnly.
Usagi didn't see the point in lying. The woman just saved her from never seeing Shingo again. So Usagi told the kind woman…
"It's Usagi and I'm a criminal."
Mizuno smiled. "No you're not. I knew from the beginning you looked familiar and I somehow knew you were coming when you did. You're that girl they keep broadcasting as missing."
Usagi nodded to ashamed to look into Doctor Mizuno's eyes but felt the floor to be more comforting to her eyes. So Mizuno knew the whole story. Well whatever the media was sending her.
"Usagi you're such a sweet girl," Mizuno complimented. "I highly doubt you're a criminal but let's go over that later maybe when you need someone to talk to. Right now Makoto, well you should be here."
Usagi said nothing.
The elevator stopped.
The three exited quietly but just as they were prepared to they watched dismayed as they saw Makoto go wheeling by laying in her stretcher with Haruka following, Makoto's head poking only from the heavy white sheets over her. Emergency operation. Usagi was too late to see Makoto one last time to say good-bye. That small glimpse of Makoto being wheeled by was the final and last time Usagi didn't know yet was when she'd see Makoto again. The girl who'd saved her life risking her own.
Doctor Mizuno placed her hands on Usagi's shoulders. "I'm sorry Usagi. Hopefully if we keep our prayers up she'll survive the operation."
Usagi nodded but knew better. Makoto was going to die and as negative as it was that she was thinking that she knew the truth. She didn't believe at all that Makoto would live cause anyone who'd risk their life to save her was bound to die due to her "curse." Usagi then saw no point in crying her dusty dry eyes out again.
Usagi looked up at the clock opposite the waiting room. 1:45am. She wanted to go. She didn't want to stick around anymore. She'd had enough of everything. Haruka sating soundless next to her told her earlier that Usagi and Shingo could remain at the boathouse. Usagi still didn't see why Haruka was being so nice but decided it was best to take Haruka up on it. Usagi had nowhere to go anyway. Without another word Usagi stood up and left.
As she exited the hospital she noticed another different group of officers outside the door. So tired of the running Usagi sighed and turned the other way to try to cut through the park across the street from the hospital.
Dashing through the park gates Usagi crashed into someone who before she even knew it…before she knew anything in ANYTHING grabbed her roughly and threw her hard onto the grass. She looked up, the odor of the man burning her nose as he smelled like sewer water and piss. A bum she realized and then was disgusted over him touching her.
"What're doing here girl?" the homeless man demanded to know his teeth looking shattered and hopeless beyond fixing as he spoke, the only thing Usagi could pick up on in the rush as…
Usagi screamed as the homeless man brought himself violently onto her and smashed her jaw cutting her screaming out to a gasping purr ordering that she shut up. The dark shadow moved over her weaken tired body who couldn't resist…
Robbed Usagi trudged back toward the boathouse as usual crossing all this distance on her feet with one thing on her mind. Suicide. Now that the money she had was gone what was the point? What was the use in keeping up? In going on. She had it all mapped out. She'd write a letter and cut herself. Cut herself good. Use the letter to tell Haruka to take good care of Shingo, to apologize to Shingo to do anything just as long as she no longer lived. She felt like she had nothing no. How could she take care of Shingo after that homeless bastard beat the shit out of her weak body then took what all she had right from her pockets?
Oh well, Usagi thought. At least I'll be free.
It was time to die. Just as Shingo dreamt it was time to end this…
Hahahahahaha, oh yeah and about the Mina Spears thing… impulsive folks but it's more or less as a joke cause she actually is Usagi's symbol of hope… I think. Oh WAIT, no, Usagi is about to kill herself I forgot. Well with that out of the way I consider the chapter after this the "Breakdown Chapter" where all the… ummm… crazy things start happening. Crazy dangerous things... things I spend time trying to fail my classes thinking up and writing. I reread this but probably not that good cause I'm really sleepy and sometimes don't like to read my own material stuffz. Well Usagi was robbed by the homeless man which only deepens her situation as it is, she's about to go kill herself finally saying "F" Shingo she is through with the pain. Will she really kill herself…? So what did anybody reading this think about this chapter, or the story in general?
E-MAIL: MoonTowel18@msn.com
TITLE: Papa-Kenji… Please No More
RATING: PG-13
NOTE: I guess when I used to submit on some other site this is the result with all these ummmmm… colons and stuff format for my stories. Anywayzzzz yes, yes, I knowwwwwww sigh. I can't believe it's almost three weeks now since I started writing this story. Kinda strange… kindaaaaaaa. Woooooo, ghosty. So besides Papa have anybody read Disturbance or SM Core? Those are my other lil' stories, I don't know if anybody has ever read them and they're so good. I think it's one because ASMR is always about love stories and stuff; people come here to read love stories and not stories that involve fighting. (-------Loves fighting stories. GRRRRRRR! SM Core must not be too good for something even though it's been almost two years since I started writing it. Disturbance on the other hand is kinda… well… it's getting up there I guess. Not a very widely expressed story but then again… sometimes a lot of stories are worst. Okay I love er'body and I thank er'body for the wonderful e-mails but to some people… people… SIGH… look I'm terribly sorry that my story apparently "sucks" because of this thing between Mamoru and Motoki, god. Give me a break. Are we talking about people living in confinement from the amazing VARITY of people we have in this world? Besides that they're FAKE! I hate to think that too but it's true! Then again some people write some awesome e-mails giving me attention (loves attention) and I thank them sooooooo much now I feel like Mina Spears (shut up! No comments! Don't ask!). I can't believe people actually liked this story and they've been telling me that so nyah-nyah to that mean person who's just hatin'. I'm pretty sure whoever'll be back just to read chapter 3, don't worry, I got you hooked so THERE. Boo-ya! OOPSSSSSSS! Okay. Music of Choice: N'Sync "Gone." Why? Cause I'm kinda an impulsive buyer. I mean I'm shocked myself… I bought an N'Sync album… oh god… me? Because of this one song I heard on the radio and was like… "That's so tight" then (don't laugh) almost got into a wreck on the freeway going to work. Anyway, I like them I guess, nothing against them at all except they're luckyyyyy (whines whines I wanna be a star). Especially Lance. Justin… cut-throat sorry Justin fans reading this. Speaking of stardom I have an audtion this Tuesday… wish me luck!
THANKS: MINIMOON! Thanks so much for dedicating a story to me now this is to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!( Thank you again (I thank a lot) everyone who told me my story was good, and goddess Naoko who needs to get back to work (demanding demanding Towel)!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~PAPA-KENJI… PLEASE NO MORE~~~~~~~~~~
CHAPTER 3
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Usagi tightened her eyes feeling them burn with tears as she heard her Papa-Kenji move in toward her room his dress shoes for work clamping sheer echoing terror at every step he took up the steps.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Usagi's heart beat all most in sync with the pending apprehension. Her room was dark and she tried desperately to blend into it. To simply disappear and vanish into the darkness and never be seen again. To just die and drift far away from people's brains so she wouldn't be remembered as the girl who suffered just too much.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud.
Peeking in over her covers that blanketed her in fire she looked at the door, which would soon open to her nightmare and heard softly as her father's shoes went at command before the door brimming the small light from the other side, which would collect farther off in Usagi's darkness.
The doorknob began to twist.
Usagi cringed and seep deeper into her covers and began to sob crying with an awful whimpering sound escaping her ghostly lips.
The door opened slowly Usagi could hear and practically began to feel her father reach for her, throw his hand over he mouth choking out her murderous cries and began to strip her down and go about his horrendous business with his daughter…
The covers were to protect the traumatized blond but it didn't help as slowly the large man walked into the room unlike never before their mother died and he threw the covers over a shattered Usagi and threw his rough violent hands onto her chest.
"NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Usagi shot up screaming her terror shackling the hearts of those who stood and sat near her in the waiting room of the local hospital.
Usagi kept screaming, her throat cut raw in her nightmarish terror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
A group of people frighten moved away from the screaming Usagi and rose in panic demanding someone to come help her. If Usagi only knew, only knew that it was all a dream, a nightmare, that she'd fell asleep in the hospital and was waking up from what was a clear imprint of the past but what was simply that… the past, then maybe Usagi wouldn't have reacted the way she did being startled demanding NO MORE from the dream.
It didn't help that she didn't open her sopping teary eyes to see that she was safe.
Usagi clutched herself against the sofa she laid on in the waiting room, she rolled around and cried and cried and screaming and patted and fought the air trying to get the "demon" off her. Tried to keep the "demon" from putting himself wrongfully into her. Cried and cried and couldn't stress how painful it was.
It wasn't until a fairly tall beautiful blue-haired woman doctor came that Usagi was able to snap out of her outlandish without doing any harm against herself or others.
"Right here doctor," a male nurse pointed the way for the doctor who's soft blue eyes watched the terrified blond who laid screaming on the sofa.
Clicking on her heels throwing back her blazing white coat the doctor tucked a strand of her pinned up hair behind her ears and walked over toward the girl and began to talk to the girl… the girl who'd she remembered came into the hospital with one of her patients the brown-headed girl who'd been shot along with her sister. It was just about thirty minutes ago when the doctor last saw the girl who laid screaming on the sofa with her long blond hair braided and wearing a light blue baseball cap. The doctor also remembered the girl's name.
"Serenity! Serenity!" called the doctor worried, confused, and a bit disturbed at the girl. The doctor began to tap the girl carefully wherever she could without being swatted away, each tap more and more forceful until she'd finally got "Serenity" to calm down. The blond laid face up on the sofa her body going limp and she opened her weak soggy eyes with an insane blazing beastly bulged which startled Mizuno out of her heels but just as quickly the girl blinked and turned to look in need of help at the doctor as she began to relax from the nightmare her eyes softening from their gigantic stare.
"Doctor Mizuno," Usagi whispered softly in praise and before she could think she reached up and threw the doctor in a hug holding her tight sobbing in her arms feeling the smallest bit safe once again. "It was so horrible," Usagi let loose sniveling. "So horrible."
Doctor Mizuno thought at first her patient's "sister" Serenity was having a nightmare that her "sister" had died but that wasn't the full case. Doctor Mizuno knew something else had to be going on. Besides that Serenity looked too familiar to her. From somewhere else, too odd and unexplainable to her liking but nothing to distaughting. Still the kind woman held the girl, held her like a child she wished to have very soon in her life. The child she tried to have but… unfortunately lost which led to the lost of her recent husband which…
Doctor Mizuno stopped her thoughts immediately.
Usagi moved away from the woman staring at her sharp established blue eyes. Still taking the girl in her hold Doctor Mizuno sat down next to Usagi and began to stroke her hair setting the girl at ease, making her feel comfortable in her arms, comfortable and safe knowing it was all over. No more. No more of whatever was really going on behind her shady ensemble.
"Makoto is going to be alright," Doctor Mizuno tried to reassure in her warming voice rubbing Usagi's quivering back. She wasn't really so sure herself. Makoto was in… stable coma condition at the moment and Mizuno continued to check on her but… she didn't know. Something just seemed wrong. Nevertheless, it was Usagi's sanity she was concerned about at that time happy that security wasn't going to have to get involved. "Makoto will wake up at any moment Serenity," Mizuno continued to talk motherly to the girl who in fact no longer had a mother and needed the feelings of love once more and forever. "Keep your faith and keep praying. Your sister will be just fine."
Usagi choked on her upcoming words. She had started to tell the sympathetic gracious Doctor Mizuno the truth. The truth that her name wasn't Serenity and Makoto wasn't her sister at all. All these simple lies, to keep her and her brother safe, Usagi had to do what she had to do simple as that. She didn't like to lie but apparently that's all she was capable off the pass months since her mother died. Lies. Lied to her friends, her horrible father, her brother, lied to everyone, keep everything away from everyone. Usagi just wanted to crawl into a hold and asphyxiate herself with mounts upon mounts of earth until she lay drowned out to the world as a rotten maggot infested corpse.
The blond shudder and hiccupped an "I'm okay."
Mizuno looked weirdly at her and asked was she sure.
Rolling up a sorrow-looking smile Usagi nodded quickly then asked was it okay that she go see Makoto now.
And so Mizuno led the way Usagi holding tight onto her as the two walked the chilling silver-like corridors of the hospital.
My fault as usual, Usagi's dark thoughts continued to plague her. I probably put somebody else into a coma with all that yelling. Just a dream, a nightmare, a nightmare that was very true. Very literal and very fully developed in reality. God, if I were just to die right here right now… but Shingo…
The two slowed their pace as the moved into Makoto's room. With the currents drawn against the night and the room softly glowing by a tiny lap stood Haruka standing anxious and sadden over her sisters' hospital bed. And Makoto… laid sleep resting like a baby… almost. Normally babies in the sometimes safety of their warm homes wouldn't be on some IV, wouldn't have tubes and foreign objects jutting in their bodies… wouldn't be in a coma. A baby would be curled up, cozy and protected and snuggled against a teddy bear drifting off to sleep knowing someone was right there as it pranced through streams of chocolate and trees of lolly-pops. As Usagi looked tenderly at Makoto she couldn't imagine those kind of dreams, she smile at herself for seeing Makoto going high-tailing daringly through some dangerous situations on one of her damn motorcycles.
So there Makoto laid along with the arraying "beep, beep, beeps" going on near her. At the other end of the room near the window were some cushioning seats and Mizuno suggested Usagi lay on one of those for a while and watch the TV playing across from Makoto for her view point, if she'd open her eyes, propped on some kind of ceiling dolly (AN: GOD, whatever they're called. I broke one once by accident), fearfully Usagi dejected. Lying would mean sleeping for her tired soul, and sleeping would mean nightmares, and nightmares would mean Papa-Kenji.
"I'll just stand thank you," Usagi informed Mizuno giving Mizuno a shy "thanks for your concern" smile.
Doctor Mizuno shrugged being just about an inch taller than the blond, looked over the room, and then exited.
Looking at Makoto Usagi felt like she had no right to be there. She and Makoto weren't… but then she remembered how Makoto bravely saved her, how this all started in the first place. Yes… she had ever right to be there.
But still it's my fault; once again the dark thoughts of Usagi chimed it. I should be the one laying there!
"You know I keep thinking she can hear me," Haruka spoke up faithfully leaning against Makoto's bed her hands clamped over her sister's eye-balling Makoto with such compassion in her eyes that wanted to cry but just wouldn't.
Why isn't she blaming me? Usagi wondered playing with her fingers nervously. Why hasn't she said anything horrible to me? Why is she holding back!? WHY!? WHY! WHY!? I'M NOT SOME CHILD SO STOP HOLDING BACK! Say what you want to say! Get it over with! It's my damn fault! MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
Usagi snapped her head away with a turn frowning the floor like a slap in the face. Her thoughts working away as she began to toy with her single braided hair moving from the vacant game she had with her fingers. Silence. All she could think of was remaining silent. Maybe she didn't want to know what Haruka wanted to say; maybe it was better this way.
"WHOA-WHOA-WHOA MINA (MINA)!!!!!! TRULY OUTRAGEOUS, TRULY TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEOUS! WHOA-WHOA-WHOA MINA (MINA)!!!!"
Caught in the chanting musical singing on TV Usagi looked up and once again there she was… the blond goddess. Mina Spears.
For a second Usagi wanted to jealously knock the hell out of the teen blond popstar but kind of alleviated herself away from anything violent as she watched with interest.
"Hi everyone!" Mina Spears spoke before the cameras broadcasting all over Japan, herself speaking Japanese. "Only days left before my final concert here and I want everyone to be apart of it! It's going to be a major cool wicked blast! And everyone's-"
PEWW! The TV went off.
Usagi blinked thinking it was just her that saw that but turned to find Haruka holding up the remote frowning.
Haruka looked at Usagi. "Plastic little bitch," she spat then tossed the remote over into one of the seats near the window. Haruka then turned her attention back toward her sister.
Usagi gazed at Haruka and wondered… wondered sooooooo deeply. Was that Haruka's way of telling Usagi to get lost for all the trouble she's done? Taking things out on some girl who's living her dream where as all three of those in the room now weren't?
Longing to watch the commercial and the concert, Usagi looked back up at the screen but didn't defy to turn it back on. She just gawked and remembered her impossible plan. Mina Spears took a private jet here so if Usagi could only get the girl to let her aboard with her brother…
Usagi almost laughed. It sounded so stupid but why did she believe so much in it?
"You want to be like her don't you?"
"Huh?" Usagi's notice turned back toward Haruka who was looking at her with a smirking smile.
Haruka waved a hand toward the up-propping TV. "Like that little tramp. You want to be like her?"
Usagi smiled shyly and looked down at her feet playing with her braid even more. "Mina Spears isn't a tramp Haruka. She's just very determined and lucky. Everyone thinks she's some kind of breast implant infested slut but that's not true." Usagi's eyes began to water up in pure envy. "She's just lucky Haruka. She's living her dreams making the right decisions to get toward it without letting anything get in her path like the things we've gotten into."
"And what's that suppose to mean!?" Haruka demanded standing up right startling Usagi who unrepentantly witnessed Haruka take her statement overboard.
Shaken Usagi hesitated to speak watching for what Haruka was going to do next but Haruka just glared at her like a monster throwing a finger at her own chest.
"You think me and my sister DESERVEDDDDDD this!? HUH!? HUH!?" Haruka shouted. "You think we ASKED to be kicked out of our damn house? Our good home!? A home where I was going to school, I had a boyfriend, making money, preparing for college!?"
"Ha-Ha-Haruka I'm sorry," stammered Usagi trying to calm the up roaring girl down. But Haruka came marching in front of Usagi who backed into the door terrified as the tall girl loomed over her like a dark angry cloud threatening total disaster. Haruka pressed her chest up into Usagi's face treacherously.
"You BETTER be sorry for what you just said," Haruka said darkly. "Because everything that's happening that's gotten so worst is your fault!"
PANG! It was like Usagi's heart finally was able to shatter and she literally felt it painfully vibrate as Haruka's words echoed in her damaged mine, but there was also a sigh of relief. Finally… finally, someone besides herself tortured her mentally.
Haruka saw Usagi looking quietly off into space and began to back off from the girl. She'd been holding back telling Usagi the truth for awhile now, been holding back so much, now that she'd saw she hurt the girl even worst than she already was she felt a small regret, but not big enough to bring her own sister back and healthy. Haruka believe Usagi had had enough and set in motion her body to move back to her sister's side stiffen as it may be.
Haruka peeked at Usagi who continued to eye space. Haruka would let her stay. Maybe dye her hair like she did but she'd let Usagi stay only cause she liked the girl. Saw some strange potential in her. That is until Usagi would get in her way. Then Haruka felt that's when she'd have to let her go.
Inside Usagi was murdering herself over and over and over and over and over again.
Rubbing a towel through his wet recently washed hair Motoki stepped into the living room, where Mamoru was seated, his manly bare feet patting on the wood floor of his home's main hallway. Motoki stopped in the doorway and looked. Once again there was Mamoru bent over looking at the photograph of the girl. The Usagi girl. Deep in thought wondering to himself.
Motoki sighed rolling his eyes leaning against the doorframe and tried to think up of something that could break Mamoru from the damn thoughts he obsessed over on finding this girl. Motoki couldn't see it. What was so special about this girl? Was it her strange alien looking hairstyle? WHAT!? He just didn't get it and Mamoru really didn't get it himself he thought.
Still Mamoru studied and studied and tried to work out whatever he needed to understand.
Motoki tried a little joke to get some progressing order around there. "Next time we go out to eat let's not pick Italian," he joked referring to spaghetti sauce a waitress dumped over his head while losing her balance. Mamoru just gazed at the picture. Motoki huffed and tried again. "You know you should try thinking of me a little more often."
Still no respond.
Motoki grimaced and moved in onto the carpet now of his living room and stood before Mamoru looking down at the picture.
"I'm getting soooooo jealous Mamoruuuuuuuu," Motoki cooed touching Mamoru's neck.
Mamoru didn't stir.
Motoki threw his hands on his hips and looked at Mamoru fiercely getting fed up. "Mamoru!" he demanded. "Wake up! The girl is dead! Someone kidnapped her and her brother and killed them!"
No responds still.
Motoki then snatched the photograph of the girl and held it into the air. The alarmed Mamoru stood up commanding Motoki to hand the picture back but Motoki went around the living room laughing and skipping around finally getting Mamoru's attention as Mamoru chased after him delighted at his success.
"Motoki quit playing! This isn't a game!" Mamoru insisted almost urgently.
"Oh yeah?" Motoki grinned turning around to where Mamoru and him had the sofa between the two. "Well it is to me," Motoki's eyes glittering with pride in ripping the girl from Mamoru's eyes even for just a second. "You want to know what else is a game to me?" he then added lowly.
"What?" Mamoru smiled creakingly.
"This-" Motoki reached to kiss Mamoru but Mamoru totally put Motoki on shut down as he snatched the photograph and turned away from Motoki quickly stuffing the picture in his pocket.
"You're no funnnnnnn," whined Motoki kicking at the carpet.
Mamoru started to head for the door out. "Maybe next time."
BAM!
Mamoru was gone. With a sigh Motoki vault onto the sofa and turned on the TV cursing.
It felt like Usagi was back in hell as she looked up at her dark old ethereal home… her past. Yellow crime scene tape lining around the entire gate leading into their small yard and across the front door as an X. The house looked down on her almost like it was ready to swallow her back into its darkness. Glaring at her, those awful dark phantom eyes staring at her with such hatred. The house seem to spew with Kenji written on it ready to drown Usagi back down in one final revengeful glump.
Despite the warm summer night Usagi felt coldness wrap around her thin body and instinctively she reached and crossed her arms tight over herself to try to keep warm. It wasn't working… the coldness was also shuddering somewhere inside of her body too and pushing forward quickly which caused her to have small visions of the most explicit things she never really want to remember… then…. Well then there were the better visions. Visions of her mother, her family, how she used to be late for school every morning, how she would whine over the simplistic things, and the happiness she once had. Happiness snatched away too fast that it made her nose want to bleed and left her head spinning with uncertainty and a knife carving itself into her back.
Why am I looking at this? Usagi wondered looking up at the evil house. Why did I walk from the hospital all the way here just to look at this piece of crap? What's my problem?
Settled in the swallow shades of tree below the dimly lit glowing street lamps the blond stood wondering where'd it all ended and actually began. WHEN would it all end and WHEN would her new life begin?
"You shouldn't be around here," a wintry voice proclaimed and Usagi looked cautiously on full alert as a man dressed in black but shaded by the shadows which made him blend into them all too well to see him clearly stepped in front of the gate before her old home. The man looked from her up to the house, all Usagi could see was the shifting of his rock-like head.
At first Usagi felt awkward around the man. She felt invaded as if he knew something about her thoughts or something other than that, like he'd been standing there the whole time reading them. The different things probably. Something wasn't right but it felt right to her as she looked at the man. The man who stood there a few feet away to her left. It was dangerous to be at the house in the first place, but it was so late Usagi figured no one would be around and no one was except this man.
Looking from the man Usagi focused back on the house… particularly toward her dark bedroom window and wavered long enough to ask the man why shouldn't she be here.
The man shifted his weight onto his right leg in the darkness and waited awhile before he spoke. "It's a mad house," was the first thing that came from him. Hearing so made Usagi's heart jump and she glanced at the man wondering deeply about how would the hell he know what it is. He didn't live there; he wasn't apart of the happy moments. How could he say that, he had no right! Sure everything crumbled apart but it wasn't a madhouse… it was just… gone astray… no longer feeling. "The owner of the home was murdered. No one knows for sure, haven't you heard?"
Usagi shook her head replying that she hadn't even though she knew the entire thing. She figured this was a time she could learn what people were saying. What they were REALLY saying.
"Two of the children here are missing. We have reason to believe that one of the children committed the crime."
Usagi tittered a little losing her balance then straightened back up. So she was a suspect… a criminal. And what did he mean by "we?" Was he a police officer or something? Usagi looked long and hard and mad at him. How would he know, what did he know!? He knew nothing! Nothing at all!
Her anger drove her filled with passion and she turned fiercely with her fist at her sides toward the man. "How can you say that," she cried full of emotions leaving her thoughts of keeping it cool behind but wanting to tell somebody else what happened. Let the police know somehow, get some idea that this wasn't how they thought it was.
The man looked surprised at her outburst and backed up a little trying to look closer at her. "How I can… say…?" the man sputtered.
"You police think you know everything!" the blond continued tears burning the corners of her eyes. "You know nothing! Maybe the father hurted the children. Maybe he did things to her – to them!" Her tears rang out at that point like little droplets of rain. "Maybe there wasn't a choice! Maybe their father wanted to die and was telling his children that's what he wanted!"
The man in dark shook his head pitifully at Usagi. "Tsk-tsk, you pathetic little girl."
Usagi blinked shedding her last tears. Why was he calling me pathetic? Asked Usagi silently. It's true but…
The man took marching steps toward her and Usagi backed off as he got closer, and closer, then she turned and ran up the street away from him, turned and looked back as he stopped where she once stood. What made her run and what made her stop she couldn't figure out but as she looked at the man she felt this odd feeling jolt through her and for a quick second felt a small relieving weight remove itself from over her heart.
It was all cut short as Usagi flew as fast as she could to the boathouse… her horrible stuffy small hangout coated in blood.
"USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! USAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Her arm feeling numb propped under her head Usagi opened her sleepy eyes and blinked them in the darkness woken up from the "alarm" she was hearing that hurted her ears. She peeled her arm and head off of the desk in the small boathouse room she was resting in and looked immediately toward Shingo who was tossing and literally having a seizure in the small bunk where Makoto once laid dying.
Usagi narrowed her sleepy eyes and slipped off the stool she sat on running to Shingo's wailing side. She grabbed his bare warm arms and shook him and shook him until he stopped moving and just went wilting limp. His eyes tightened close shut he slowly opened them, Usagi glanced at the door hoping Haruka wouldn't come blazing in then turned back toward her terrified brother in question. He looked fearfully at her his eyes wild like those of some outrageous horse or cow walking the mutilation plank. Seeing her brother like this HORRIFIED Usagi. That look in his eyes was so crazy so wild of a beast to bare and it made he realize Shingo was feeling it too. Those feelings, those nightmares, that dark vacant monster inside eating at him like it was doing Usagi. He was feeling those things too. The insanity! The damn insanity!
Please blink Shingo, Usagi's head cried. Blink! Blink! Blink! Blink!
She couldn't stand to look at Shingo's eyes and dropped her brother practically shoving him back down onto the thin mattress and snapped her head away from him.
Why won't he blink!? WHY!? Why won't he close those awful eyes! Close them! Close those insane eyes! Demon eyes looking for a price to pay with someone's life! INSANE! CLOSE THEM!
"Usagi what's wrong?" Shingo's meek voice asked in the darkness the only light from the moonlight peeking through the small window as the houseboat floated clutched to bay.
Usagi turned back slowly toward her brother fearing his eyes and saw him looking at her fine. His eyes… his eyes were no longer full of psychosis but that of a young man, calm, reduced of his nightmare. The normal Shingo… but not quite him.
Instantly Usagi threw him in a hug and told him again and again how much she loved and cared for him. She'd do anything to keep him from going insane like her. From straining the beast from within out of him through his eyes.
Usagi kept hold onto her warm brother keeping him protected and close.
Shingo started crying as he explained his nightmare. "It was bad Usagi. Everyone was dead. Too many people died. Too many of them for us Usagi." Shingo sniffled. "You died."
Usagi released him and looked closely into his green eyes that seem to glow like a beacon of what was left of Usagi's very own sanity.
I died, she thought. No… it was just a dream.
Usagi smiled and pushed Shingo's wet matted hair from his face trying to talk him back to sleep. "Just a dream Shingo. I'm right here see? All it was was a dream."
Shingo looked sadly into his lap. "When will all this be over? And what's in America?"
Usagi sighed deeply looking at her brother continuing to smile. "It's just my dream Shingo. A place where I can instantly become a star," she chuckled a little shrugging. "I don't know. Make lots of money and take care of us both. We can start over there away from the people looking for us."
Shingo turned looking readily at her. "What about grandma and grandpa?"
Usagi shook her head eyes closed. "We can't go to them Shingo."
"WHY!?" he spat.
"Because Shingo," she narrowed her eyes frustrated at his continual disagreements. "We go to them then we'll never see each other anymore. I'm going to jail if we're caught Shingo."
Shingo began to cry a little. "But I'm the one who did it! I shot dad!"
"No, no, no, no, but it's my fault you did," Usagi protested shaking her head. "I'm going. At least for you."
Shingo then closed his mouth. She was protecting him and he knew that somehow Usagi knew what she was doing. That his sister knew what was right and that she was doing the right thing. He trusted her so much but at that moment his trust for her grew like wildfire. He realized she really was there for him. She really did love him.
Shingo remained quiet and slowly Usagi laid him down into the bed. "Now go back to sleep Shingo. Don't be afraid I'm going to be right here."
It took her awhile but finally Usagi got Shingo to fall asleep again. She watched him sleep peacefully and realized how much stronger he's been since all this, strong and respectful. It felt strange but it felt necessary somehow to her. Then there was that look in his eyes. That dreadful insane look…
"Usagi!" the door suddenly busted open shaking Usagi who stood up as one of the girls in Makoto and Haruka's gang came through calling her name.
"What's the matter?" Usagi stood up adrenaline at rushing speed fearing the police had found her and her brother. Panic for escape.
"It's Makoto!" the girl announced hurriedly. "We just got back from the hospital she's not doing so well. Critical maybe."
Usagi raised her hands to her chest moaning. "Will you please take me there?"
The girl nodded and Usagi pushed her feet into her shoes and followed the girl out into the night. With Shingo being kept watch on over by two other girls Usagi ran along the wood deck, up through the sand and into the patch of trees where she hopped onto the motorcycle the girl drove and the two took off to be by Makoto's side.
Pray, pray, pray, pray, Usagi could only do as she rushed into the hospital and was thrown into confusion as she saw a team of officers standing before the emergency room receptionist desk. Oh no! What were they doing? She wondered.
Usagi and the other girl stopped before them Usagi keeping her and her disguise low. The usual. A long single fat braid with her blue baseball cap. Not much but enough… maybe.
One officer noticed them and turned.
Usagi was nervous as then the others all turned and moved toward her and the girl who'd got her the ride to the hosptial.
"Don't say anything," the girl whispered toward Usagi barely moving her mouth. "Let me do all the talking."
Usagi nodded fearfully.
"Hi there ladies," one officer in lead greeted fakely. "We have reason to believe someone we're looking for has been visiting the hospital here and we're checking ID so let's see them…" the man held out his hand.
So someone did realize who I was… Oh my god…was it? Doctor Mizuno who told… was it her that betrayed me? Usagi's feelings burning.
Usagi just wanted to turn and run! Run! Run! AND RUNNNNNNNNNN! But she couldn't cause for some strange reason as much as she wanted to run she felt nailed to the floor.
There was a long silent stillness and Usagi waited impatiently for the girl to do what she had to do. But she was doing absolutely nothing and it seemed like hours before the rescue came.
"What're doing!?" a familiar voice demanded and up came running Doctor Mizuno. She halted before the officers wearing her heels and looked at them angrily. "What's your problem? I told you my two daughters were coming in. They're underage you idiots. No ID."
Usagi felt… a funny feeling inside. Once again someone was risking something to help her. Her of all people. Doctor Mizuno… Usagi regretted every bit of her previous feelings of betrayal.
"Go ahead," the officer ordered not the least bit really buying what was going on but decided it was useless to gripe. He knew Doctor Mizuno's ways.
Doctor Mizuno took Usagi and led her and Usagi felt good in the woman's arms to the point where she wanted to cry as she told Doctor Mizuno thank you in a low low low voice away from the officers' hearing range.
Doctor Mizuno was silent until they got into the elevator and she turned to Usagi. "You're real name isn't Serenity is it?" Mizuno asked solemnly.
Usagi didn't see the point in lying. The woman just saved her from never seeing Shingo again. So Usagi told the kind woman…
"It's Usagi and I'm a criminal."
Mizuno smiled. "No you're not. I knew from the beginning you looked familiar and I somehow knew you were coming when you did. You're that girl they keep broadcasting as missing."
Usagi nodded to ashamed to look into Doctor Mizuno's eyes but felt the floor to be more comforting to her eyes. So Mizuno knew the whole story. Well whatever the media was sending her.
"Usagi you're such a sweet girl," Mizuno complimented. "I highly doubt you're a criminal but let's go over that later maybe when you need someone to talk to. Right now Makoto, well you should be here."
Usagi said nothing.
The elevator stopped.
The three exited quietly but just as they were prepared to they watched dismayed as they saw Makoto go wheeling by laying in her stretcher with Haruka following, Makoto's head poking only from the heavy white sheets over her. Emergency operation. Usagi was too late to see Makoto one last time to say good-bye. That small glimpse of Makoto being wheeled by was the final and last time Usagi didn't know yet was when she'd see Makoto again. The girl who'd saved her life risking her own.
Doctor Mizuno placed her hands on Usagi's shoulders. "I'm sorry Usagi. Hopefully if we keep our prayers up she'll survive the operation."
Usagi nodded but knew better. Makoto was going to die and as negative as it was that she was thinking that she knew the truth. She didn't believe at all that Makoto would live cause anyone who'd risk their life to save her was bound to die due to her "curse." Usagi then saw no point in crying her dusty dry eyes out again.
Usagi looked up at the clock opposite the waiting room. 1:45am. She wanted to go. She didn't want to stick around anymore. She'd had enough of everything. Haruka sating soundless next to her told her earlier that Usagi and Shingo could remain at the boathouse. Usagi still didn't see why Haruka was being so nice but decided it was best to take Haruka up on it. Usagi had nowhere to go anyway. Without another word Usagi stood up and left.
As she exited the hospital she noticed another different group of officers outside the door. So tired of the running Usagi sighed and turned the other way to try to cut through the park across the street from the hospital.
Dashing through the park gates Usagi crashed into someone who before she even knew it…before she knew anything in ANYTHING grabbed her roughly and threw her hard onto the grass. She looked up, the odor of the man burning her nose as he smelled like sewer water and piss. A bum she realized and then was disgusted over him touching her.
"What're doing here girl?" the homeless man demanded to know his teeth looking shattered and hopeless beyond fixing as he spoke, the only thing Usagi could pick up on in the rush as…
Usagi screamed as the homeless man brought himself violently onto her and smashed her jaw cutting her screaming out to a gasping purr ordering that she shut up. The dark shadow moved over her weaken tired body who couldn't resist…
Robbed Usagi trudged back toward the boathouse as usual crossing all this distance on her feet with one thing on her mind. Suicide. Now that the money she had was gone what was the point? What was the use in keeping up? In going on. She had it all mapped out. She'd write a letter and cut herself. Cut herself good. Use the letter to tell Haruka to take good care of Shingo, to apologize to Shingo to do anything just as long as she no longer lived. She felt like she had nothing no. How could she take care of Shingo after that homeless bastard beat the shit out of her weak body then took what all she had right from her pockets?
Oh well, Usagi thought. At least I'll be free.
It was time to die. Just as Shingo dreamt it was time to end this…
Hahahahahaha, oh yeah and about the Mina Spears thing… impulsive folks but it's more or less as a joke cause she actually is Usagi's symbol of hope… I think. Oh WAIT, no, Usagi is about to kill herself I forgot. Well with that out of the way I consider the chapter after this the "Breakdown Chapter" where all the… ummm… crazy things start happening. Crazy dangerous things... things I spend time trying to fail my classes thinking up and writing. I reread this but probably not that good cause I'm really sleepy and sometimes don't like to read my own material stuffz. Well Usagi was robbed by the homeless man which only deepens her situation as it is, she's about to go kill herself finally saying "F" Shingo she is through with the pain. Will she really kill herself…? So what did anybody reading this think about this chapter, or the story in general?