The Nature Of A Man

Disclaimer: The usual. The characters in this story belong to J.K. Rowling and this work represents a poor fumbling attempt at a Harry Potter story. I really wasn't sure where the story was going but it's rated PG-13 just in case. Read and review. You like it or you don't, just drop me a line at jadewing@hotmail.com if you want to rant or praise longer. Hey hey, thanks for all the reviews. I know the story is moving really fast but I'm too lazy and impatient to stretch things out too much and I've always thought that when shit happens, it happens really fast. I'm seriously worried now about the ending. How r u guys gonna take it? Oh, well, in a few more days, the answer will be revealed.

Several hours later, Draco eased back on to his pillow with a sigh. "You were more … enthusiastic than I would have thought, love."

Harry blushed at his words. Enthusiastic hadn't covered the half of it.

Draco continued. "I mean, four times in one night and each time, we went at it for at least an hour. And, all that shouting." He whistled. "Good thing I used a spell on these walls. I mean, if the other Slytherins had heard." He pitched his voice to sound like Harry's. "Oh, give it to me, Draco! Harder! Harder! More!"

Harry's face was burning and he growled. "Idiot!" And gave Draco a tap across the arm. It wasn't a very light one either. Draco only sniggered and Harry blushed even harder. It was all true though. He had been shouting during their, uh, session, and he had been very eager about everything.

"But, seriously though. I think I enjoyed it as much as you. Well, maybe not quite as much as you." Draco took one look at Harry's face and snickered before continuing. "I'm just … I don't know. I'm happy that I have you, I suppose." His voice was serious now and his eyes had a tenderness to them that touched Harry.

"Thank you, Draco." Harry smiled at him.

"You always call me, Draco. Not anything else."

"What do you want me to call you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. But something would be nice. Like honey, dear, love. I don't know. Terms of endearment."

Harry shifted uncomfortably against Draco's chest. "I don't know. It just feels weird."

Draco sighed but he didn't say anything else and Harry was grateful for that because he had begun to feel very bad indeed. Because the fact was that Harry did know. He didn't call Draco any of those names because he felt that the love between them was fake. No, it isn't. I'm fond of him, Harry thought. Very fond. But is it love? He wasn't sure and so he couldn't take that step. It might have seemed a small thing compared to what they had just done (Harry began blushing again!) but it seemed important to him.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure." Harry nodded.

Draco gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "It's about my father. I don't really want you to hate him or anything. Or my mother. I mean, they are snobs and my dad is a Death Eater." He paused, hearing what he had said. "But they do love me and that says something, doesn't it? Everything they do, I think they do out of love for me." Draco sighed. "True, my dad has really high expectations for me and he pushes me to do what he thinks I should but still …" His voice dwindled to a whisper. "It's hard to love them sometimes but without them …"

Harry's arms tightened around Draco's waist. "You're lucky. That you have them. I wish my own parents were still alive. Sometimes, I think I'd do anything just to see them …" He bit back his words, afraid that he would start crying if he did.

He felt Draco kiss him again, gently on his forehead. "I'm sorry."

Harry gave him a smile even though his eyes were welling with tears. "For what?"

"For everything unkind I said of you. And of your parents."

"It's OK," Harry told him softly. "I didn't really hold it against you."

"Sometimes, Harry, I think that you're all that's keeping me good." Harry tried to say something but Draco laid a finger across Harry's lips. "It's true. I'm evil. I've been evil for as long as I knew what evil was. I was willing to do anything in my own interest and for my own gain. But you … you make me want to do so much more. You've changed me, Harry. You've turned me into a better man." Draco turned his face away but not before Harry saw the silver glisten of tears in his eyes. Draco laughed softly. "A cliché and a bad one but it's true. I didn't think I could have changed before, Harry, but you made it possible." And when his eyes turned towards Harry, all the love in the world was shining in them.

"Draco," Harry whispered and the buried his face in Draco's chest. The words … those words. It made him feel so good … even as it chilled him. And then, Draco's body was sliding across his and they both became preoccupied with … other things. But those words sat in Harry's heart like a lump of cold ice.

Harry was dreaming again. It was the same dream from so long ago but it had been awhile since he had had those dreams and it seemed different this time. Or the same. He didn't know. The sky was a sullen red, a brooding color that gave no light and gave no warmth. The dusty plain was strewn with shards of broken glass and wherever Harry walked, he left trails of blood as the cruel shards cut his feet. Yet, he felt no pain. The blood caked on his feet and then more blood ebbed again as he walked further. The winds were silent this night, tonight, and the dust that shifted on the plain seemed to shift of their own accord. Harry looked up. There were no stars this time. Only a dark circle where the moon should have been.

He was half-expecting the robed figure but even so, he was startled. He took a step forward – and gasped in pain. His feet hurt! The pain that he hadn't felt earlier seemed to return now with a vengeance. He hobbled forward painfully, wincing as the glass cut his feet to ribbons. The figure watched impassively, waiting for him. Painfully, finally, Harry slumped to the ground before the figure. The front of his own robes were caked with the blood that seeped everywhere. Even the plain seemed to have absorbed his blood, turning the same red as the sky above.

"Harry." That voice … Harry looked up and gasped.

Draco's face stared out from the hood. His eyes were filled with a pain and a sorrow that seemed to cut like a knife. Harry had thought the cut of the glass had been agony but those eyes … the pain of that stare was beyond agony.

"Draco. Why … why are you here?" Harry licked dry lips.

"I need to know, Harry." Those eyes fixed on his. "What can change the nature of a man?"

Desperately, Harry thought of all the answers he had gotten from everyone he had asked. Love, death, life, ambition, suffering, regret, pain, loss, time … there had been so many answers. Which one to give? That impassive, blank face held no answer. Harry took a deep breath before answering. "I have answered so many times but I still say it now. Love. Love can change the nature of a man."

Draco was silent, staring at him. And then he shook his head. "Can you change my nature with love then, Harry? You are wrong. Love is not enough. Love alone is never enough." He bent down and picked up a large shard of glass. And then before Harry could utter a cry, Draco pierced his own heart with that shard. Blood welled instantly from the wound. Blood bubbled on Draco's lips as he uttered, "You have failed, Harry."

Harry awoke with a shout that he stifled instantly when he saw Draco still asleep next to him. Harry closed his eyes, willing his pulse to stop racing, willing his heart to stop drumming so rapidly. When he felt a little calmer, he opened his eyes, staring down at the sleeping boy next to him. He couldn't help smiling at the sight. Draco's pale blond hair was spread across his pillow as he lay face on his belly. The blankets covered him but left his muscled smooth shoulders exposed. Harry's eyes traced his form, from the strong back, to the roundness of his bottom and then the straight, long, lean legs and the slender, almost delicate feet. He didn't know how long he spent just looking at Draco sleeping but a while later, maybe an hour or so (it had been actually two and a half hours), Draco stirred. He yawned and stretched, licking his lips with a pink tongue. Opening his eyes, he saw Harry smiling down at him, leaning on one elbow. Draco smiled back. "Morning. How long have you been up?"

"A bit." Harry smiled at him and then kissed Draco who responded eagerly. "I enjoyed watching you sleep." Draco smiled at him. And then, the thought hit Harry.

"Shit! I'm in your room!"

"I noticed," Draco replied dryly.

"I spent the night here! Shit! What are Ron and the others going to say!?"

Draco yawned. "Whatever they want, I suppose."

Harry jumped out of bed, not noticing Draco's admiring glances and smile of appreciation. He picked up all his clothes, pulling on his jeans and his shirt hurriedly. As he pulled on his robes, he bent down to give Draco a kiss. "Sorry, I have to run. They're going to be asking too many questions."

"Love. You aren't wearing these." Harry turned around and blushed (Not only chronic eavesdropper but chronic blusher as well!). Draco was holding up Harry's briefs that he had tossed aside last night. "I think I'll keep them. Just to remember." His grin got wider at the look on Harry's face and Harry practically ran out of the room before Draco could say something more embarrassing. Once he was out off the Slytherin common room, Harry started walking back slowly. He was thinking about what to tell Ron and the others. He could have said that he spent the night with Hagrid. Except that Hagrid was only coming back tomorrow. Or he could say that he spent the night with one of the teachers. But why would he want to do that? And which teacher would have wanted him to stay tonight? Or he could claim that he fell asleep in the library. Except that Filch chased everyone out of the library when Madam Pinch didn't do that. He stopped abruptly. He had arrived at the Gryffindor common room. A few moments later, he was trying to sneak back into his bed when Seamus opened one eye and let out a loud yell.