Authors Note: I wrote this standalone months ago and planned on posting it on ff.net but it kind of slipped my mind until recently. It was originally NC17 but since the Nazi's took over ff.net I had to do some serious adjustments. I mean SERIOUS! Anyways, here it is and I hope you guys like it. Don't forget to review!
A Beautiful Day
Max stood on top of the Space Needle and looked out on the horizon just as the sun was beginning to set. It was an unusually clear day in Seattle, not a cloud in the sky and the sun shone brightly. The day had passed nothing like usual in the simple fact that everybody in Terminal City seemed to be in good spirits, even Mole. Dix, Luke and Joshua had been buzzing around the city helping with whatever they could so long as it was an outdoors job. The idea of being outside, even if it was work related, seemed to be too good to pass up for most transgenics. The military hadn't moved an inch which put both sides in a comfortable stalemate. Even Alec seemed to lose his usual cockiness and lazed around with a relaxed grin as he kept a young group of X's busy with stories of past missions for Manticore, the less disturbing missions of course, and some of the most horrifying ones he had ever experienced on the outside- e.g. being stuck in a closet with Max for over an hour.
Everybody was cheerful, except of course the Queen of Self Deprecation. Everyone's good mood seemed to put Max in an even fouler one than usual. Then again how could everybody be so damned happy when her life was so miserable? No one even noticed that she hadn't joined them in their rare sense of euphoria, or they had simply ignored her, she wasn't sure which, except of course for one person.
It was a surprise she didn't bite off the arm Alec had innocently wrapped around her shoulder when he asked her if she was feeling alright. Instead she shrugged him off and replied with something that sounded suspiciously like, "Get your fucking arm off of me before I kick your ass." Fearful for his life Alec complied and simply walked away which irked her even more. He was meant to hassle her until she either gave it up or gave him a black eye. She really liked having him follow her around and if she were totally honest with herself she would admit that she enjoyed arguing with him a lot too. 'Yeah right, if you were totally honest with yourself sweetheart you would admit you just really like him a lot, period' a traitorous voice whispered to her which, after extended practice, she had become really good at ignoring.
Max sighed and moved as close to the edge as she could without actually going over. The sky was streaked beautifully with orange, red and pink. It seemed almost heavenly and all Max could think was how presumptuous of the world to be so at peace when it was anything but. How dare the sun smile down at a world that had done nothing but cause her pain her entire existence. A soft breeze swept past and tousled her hair lightly and she closed her eyes, letting it wash over her with a gentleness she hadn't felt in a long time.
Unconsciously Max leaned her body forward, her super human sense of balance the only thing keeping her from toppling over the edge. She thought about everything that had happened to her in her lifetime. From the escape to the deaths in her family and her on-again-off-again, non existent, 'we're-not-even-like-that-if-I-touch-him-he'll-die' relationship with Logan. She was pretty sure she didn't want an on-again with him anyway and that thought was just as depressing. She had spent the better part of a year and a half pining away over someone when they both could have been better off if they had officially called it off a long time ago.
"You're poison." The words Renfro had spoken to her reverberated through her head painfully.
A tear slid down her cheek as she thought about all the pain she caused the people around her. Eva had died protecting her, as did Zack whose heart she could feel thumping strongly in chest, then there was Tinga, Ben and so many other transgenics who she had released on a world they weren't ready for, and that was not ready for them either, just like Joshua. Big fella hadn't been the same since Annie died and she felt responsible for that as well. She was leading an entire nation of Freaks, probably to their inevitable deaths. Then, once again, there was Alec. He had been trying as hard as he could to fit into a world she had forced upon him and now to help her with the transgenic cause and she had been nothing but a total bitch to him. She blamed him for things she knew he had no control over and he still remained there, always at her back, taking every insult she could throw at him. Yep, she definitely was a curse to the people she loved.
She opened her eyes and looked down. 'I can't take this anymore' she thought as her body almost imperceptibly kept moving forward. "It would be so easy." She whispered to the world below her.
'What kind of a person have I become if I can't even be content with the fact that the people I love are happy?' she thought as she remembered her day and more tears spilled from her mocha eyes. Taking a deep breath she lunged forward and then was pulled back sharply as something quickly grabbed her and held her tightly.
Alec hummed to himself lightly as he made his way to the top of the Space Needle. It was a risk leaving Terminal City but he wanted to watch the sunset since it had been such a nice day. He smiled as he remembered everyone's jovial disposition today. Everyone with the exception of one person that is and quite frankly he was a little surprised. Sure she had been down in the dumps recently but on a day like today he figured maybe even she would be feeling a little more mellow. On the contrary however, she seemed to be even more brooding than usual. As the crew in Terminal City had milled about talking and laughing Max had kept to herself, hardly conversing with anybody unless she had to, even Joshua. And when Alec had tried to be the great humanitarian she was always complaining that he wasn't and he asked her if she was alright she had reacted so Max-like. Well, he figured fuck her. She wasn't going to ruin his good mood.
Even as he tried to convince himself of that he couldn't get her off his mind. It really pissed him off that she consumed most of his thoughts and especially on this day. As he got to the top he looked out and mentally sighed. 'Great', he thought as he watched the figure perched close to the edge of the roof. 'A little too close to the edge' he noted to himself. He watched as her body leaned forward a little and he tensed. He knew she didn't know he was there when she softly whispered to herself, "It would be so easy."
He crept forward silently, afraid the slightest noise could set her off. When he saw her poised to jump he blurred and grabbed her tightly around her waist with both arms just as her feet left the ground.
He held her firmly and inched his way backward as fast as he could, which was a hard task considering how hard the feisty woman was struggling from his grasp.
Max's first instinct was to fight whoever had grabbed a hold of her, and that's exactly what she tried to do. After a few moments of vain attempts she realised exactly who had a hold of her and stilled in his arms.
When they were a safe distance away Alec placed her back on her feet. When she didn't turn around to face him he spun her around by her shoulders and shook her hard.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing Max?" He yelled angrily. "Have you lost your mind? Has your poor, lonely, miserable existence finally got the better of you? Do you think your the only person who hasn't thought about jumping off this thing? We all have! Every single person you set free has thought about ending it and now you're going to abandon them? How typically you! Well, what do you have to say for yourself? Answer me Max!" She didn't answer and instead she just walked past him and began to make her way back down. He stood in shock for a few moments, taking deep shaky breaths as everything that had just transpired sank in and then he turned on his heel and followed her path.
He found her mounting her beloved Ninja and stopped her with a gentle touch to her arm. She turned around, tears streaming unchecked down her face. Instinctively he reached out and brushed them away. How did she do this to him? He had every right to be pissed as hell, which he was, but he realised one thing a long time ago, when it came to Max he was so incredibly, indescribably weak. He cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand and she closed her eyes while leaning into the caress. When she opened her eyes again Alec was looking at her with an intensity she had never known before. She switched on the engine and nodded for him to get on which he did. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. It felt so right holding her like that and the anger he felt before completely dissipated.
-------------------------------
Max took off at a leisurely pace, simply enjoying the feel of the man behind her. She had never felt more alive than she did at that moment. She thought back to what she was about to do and internally scolded herself. What the hell was she thinking? She wasn't and that was the problem. She got so caught up in her problems that she forgot about everyone that was counting on her for their survival. She would never have been able to experience what she was feeling right now either as Alec tightened his grip around her waist and nuzzled her neck.
She gunned the engine harder and sped away at an extreme speed, maintaining complete control even as she turned corner after corner sharply. When she got to the perimeter of Terminal City she switched of the bike and they pushed it through an entrance that only a select few of the occupants of Freak Nation knew about. Once safely inside, they got back on the bike and drove away. She eventually slowed down and then stopped in front of the building Alec was living in. She turned the powerful machine off and waited silently but Alec didn't move. Instead she felt one of his arms shift to her face, turning it so he could look at her. Instinctively her body twisted around too and she held his gaze steadily.
"You really scared me." He whispered to her.
Unable to look at him she moved her head down and replied, "I scared myself."
"Why, Max? Why would you try something like that?"
"I was so sick of everything Alec and I know I was being completely selfish but I can't help the way I feel. I'm sorry." She sobbed as she cried again. "I'm so sorry."
Alec turned her completely so she was straddling his lap and hugged her fiercely to him. Her arms encircled his neck as she cried into his neck. He could feel her tears warm against his skin and one of his hands came up and gently stroked her silky hair as he whispered words of comfort into her ear. Even as her weeping subsided they kept their hold on one another. He kissed the top of head and then lifted her head to kiss her on the forehead. Uncontrollably his lips found her eyes and her cheek and then her lips where he kissed her chastely. She responded by deepening the kiss and he moaned as he felt her tongue slip in and taste him.
Their kiss turned passionate as their hands roamed over each others body, taking in all they could and imprinting it in their perfect memories. Suddenly Alec pulled back and pushed Max away from him. She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and hurt and he had to avert his gaze as he took in her ragged breathing and swollen lips before his resolve crumbled.
"We can't do this Max. I won't be a replacement for Logan. I can't." He breathed the last sentence.
Max was still looking at him, he could feel her gaze burn into his features but he refused to meet her eyes. She sighed and slid off him, needing to put as much distance between them physically as possible so she could properly collect her thoughts. She knew she didn't love Logan in that way, not anymore but she couldn't find the words to express what she felt about the man next to her. Too much had happened in the last few weeks and her mind was slowly trying to comprehend everything.
Alec finally looked up to see Max deep in thought. She remained so for a long time so he simply nodded his head in resignation and stepped off the motorcycle. He gave her one more glance before turning and walking to his apartment defeated. What had he expected? Max to deny her feelings for the old geezer and confess her undying love and devotion for him? 'How stupid could you get?' he thought as he made his way into his lonely, dilapidated place of residence.
He threw his keys on the coffee table, kicked off his shoes and peeled off his jacket, throwing it to rest on the back of the couch. He then proceeded to take off his tight black shirt, leaving him clad only in blue jeans. He sank down on his bed and covered his face with his right arm. He nearly jumped out of his skin a few minutes later when he felt a gentle touch to his chest. His eyes locked onto a pair of brown ones and the tension left his body. Her hand remained on his chest, right on top of his heart and her fingers lightly stroked the soft skin.
"I don't love Logan." She blurted, obviously nervous about what she wanted to say. "At least not the way I thought I did." Her hand slid higher, cupping his cheek as she sat on the mattress next to him. His hand moved to hold hers on his face and she spoke again. "I'm so confused right now. But I know I care for you. Much more than I let on. You're not a replacement, Alec. You mean so much more to me than that but... I'm afraid."
"You don't have to be. I would never hurt you. You know that right?" He asked, letting a little of the hurt and insecurity he felt at her admission seep into his voice.
"Of course I know that and that's not what I'm afraid of. I hurt the people I love. I don't mean to but I do and I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you too." Her voice cracked with emotion as she spoke.
He let out a small laugh. "God Max, are you really this self involved?" He asked incredulously. She looked at him in a mixture of shock and hurt and he let out a long breath before continuing. "You can't make decisions for everybody else based on what you think is best. I'm a big boy and I know what I want... and that's you." He said as his free hand slid up her back and into her hair, causing her to shiver involuntarily.
She closed her eyes and let him pull her down so that she was spooned against him on the bed. "You can't protect everybody." He whispered to her. "And sometimes you need to be protected, from yourself more than anything. Let me protect you Max." He said and then kissed her neck. She nodded her head and let him continue his sweet torture. How could she have ever thought this caring guy was a total fuck up? She really was too self involved to see what was in front of her and it saddened her that she had become like that.
He leaned over her, bracing himself on one elbow while his other hand slid under the front her shirt to trace patterns on her stomach. She turned her face to look at him and was momentarily lost in the desire and emotions pooling in his hazel depths. He leaned down and kissed her softly, sucking on her full bottom lip. She turned in his arms and moved her arms around him and he let his tongue slip into her mouth.
Her hands roamed over the expanse of his back, feeling his hard muscles flex under them. She wasn't at all surprised at how smooth his skin was. It was like silk under her fingers but that did nothing to obscure the raw power of his muscles that lay beneath the sleekness. She moaned softly into his mouth as his hand found it's way back under her shirt and cupped her breast, his thumb stroking over one of her already hard nipples through the thin material of her bra. She pushed him back and sat up, proceeding to pull off her jacket and then her shirt in slow deliberate movements as Alec eyed her intently. He caught her hands as they went to the clasp of her bra and moved them away, replacing them with his own he undid the clasp and pulled the straps down her shoulders.
He took a deep breath as she was bared before him. She was so beautiful, every golden inch of her skin perfect. He kissed her again, harder this time as an overwhelming sense of desire struck him, one he had never felt before. He pushed her back down against the mattress and she opened her legs wide as he settled himself between them.
He felt her hands trace a path down his chest, her nails lightly scratching his nipples before settling on the fly of his jeans trying to undo them. He lifted his hips slightly giving her better access and she popped open the button and pulled down the zipper before discarding the material blindly. Hers soon followed and they explored each other greedily, each taking turns to drive the other out of their mind.
He pushed forward, sinking into her slowly. They stayed that way for a while, neither moving just enjoying the feel of being one with each other. He looked at her and found her watching him with tears in her eyes. He kissed her softly and began a slow yet forceful pace. They continued that way for what felt like forever and then she was falling, falling from heaven and feeling surprisingly safe in the assurance that Alec would be there to catch her when she tumbled back down to earth..
A long while later he collapsed on top of her, gasping for breath as their bodies came back down from the high they had just experienced. He felt lips at his shoulder and looked down to see Max pull them away and smile up at him. She looked amazing in the afterglow and the knowledge that he had put that look of complete contentment on her made him swell with masculine pride. He rolled them both over so she lay on top. She laid her head on his chest as his arms tightened around her.
They stayed that way for a long time. They were both lost in their own thoughts over everything that had happened in such a short space of time. It was almost surreal that they had gotten to where they were at that moment considering what had gotten them there in the first place. Alec tensed as he remembered seeing her frail form teetering on the edge of the cold steel of the Space Needle and the awful sense of dread he had felt when he saw her prepared to make the leap.
She looked up at him after feeling him tense beneath her and knew what was invading his thoughts. She hung her head, shame replacing the happiness she was feeling only a moment before. "I'm sorry." She whispered.
He put a finger under her chin and tilted her to meet his gaze. "No more sorry's Max. Just promise me you'll never try anything like that again."
A lone tear escaped her eye and he brushed it away. "I promise, Alec. I promise. Besides..." she let a small shy smile play on her face, "I've got a lot more to live for now than I did a few hours ago... and there are too many people counting on me. I don't want to disappoint them."
He kissed her then and wrapped his arms around her, allowing her the comfort of his embrace once again. She snuggled into him and smiled as she let his touch relax her. Just as she had lost hope the one person she least expected turned her world around in the space of a few hours. She looked out the window to the clear black sky filled with the stars. The moon shone brightly through the window and cast a soft, warm glow in the room. 'It was a beautiful day after all' she thought as her eyes drifted shut and the world outside disappeared.
THE END
A Beautiful Day
Max stood on top of the Space Needle and looked out on the horizon just as the sun was beginning to set. It was an unusually clear day in Seattle, not a cloud in the sky and the sun shone brightly. The day had passed nothing like usual in the simple fact that everybody in Terminal City seemed to be in good spirits, even Mole. Dix, Luke and Joshua had been buzzing around the city helping with whatever they could so long as it was an outdoors job. The idea of being outside, even if it was work related, seemed to be too good to pass up for most transgenics. The military hadn't moved an inch which put both sides in a comfortable stalemate. Even Alec seemed to lose his usual cockiness and lazed around with a relaxed grin as he kept a young group of X's busy with stories of past missions for Manticore, the less disturbing missions of course, and some of the most horrifying ones he had ever experienced on the outside- e.g. being stuck in a closet with Max for over an hour.
Everybody was cheerful, except of course the Queen of Self Deprecation. Everyone's good mood seemed to put Max in an even fouler one than usual. Then again how could everybody be so damned happy when her life was so miserable? No one even noticed that she hadn't joined them in their rare sense of euphoria, or they had simply ignored her, she wasn't sure which, except of course for one person.
It was a surprise she didn't bite off the arm Alec had innocently wrapped around her shoulder when he asked her if she was feeling alright. Instead she shrugged him off and replied with something that sounded suspiciously like, "Get your fucking arm off of me before I kick your ass." Fearful for his life Alec complied and simply walked away which irked her even more. He was meant to hassle her until she either gave it up or gave him a black eye. She really liked having him follow her around and if she were totally honest with herself she would admit that she enjoyed arguing with him a lot too. 'Yeah right, if you were totally honest with yourself sweetheart you would admit you just really like him a lot, period' a traitorous voice whispered to her which, after extended practice, she had become really good at ignoring.
Max sighed and moved as close to the edge as she could without actually going over. The sky was streaked beautifully with orange, red and pink. It seemed almost heavenly and all Max could think was how presumptuous of the world to be so at peace when it was anything but. How dare the sun smile down at a world that had done nothing but cause her pain her entire existence. A soft breeze swept past and tousled her hair lightly and she closed her eyes, letting it wash over her with a gentleness she hadn't felt in a long time.
Unconsciously Max leaned her body forward, her super human sense of balance the only thing keeping her from toppling over the edge. She thought about everything that had happened to her in her lifetime. From the escape to the deaths in her family and her on-again-off-again, non existent, 'we're-not-even-like-that-if-I-touch-him-he'll-die' relationship with Logan. She was pretty sure she didn't want an on-again with him anyway and that thought was just as depressing. She had spent the better part of a year and a half pining away over someone when they both could have been better off if they had officially called it off a long time ago.
"You're poison." The words Renfro had spoken to her reverberated through her head painfully.
A tear slid down her cheek as she thought about all the pain she caused the people around her. Eva had died protecting her, as did Zack whose heart she could feel thumping strongly in chest, then there was Tinga, Ben and so many other transgenics who she had released on a world they weren't ready for, and that was not ready for them either, just like Joshua. Big fella hadn't been the same since Annie died and she felt responsible for that as well. She was leading an entire nation of Freaks, probably to their inevitable deaths. Then, once again, there was Alec. He had been trying as hard as he could to fit into a world she had forced upon him and now to help her with the transgenic cause and she had been nothing but a total bitch to him. She blamed him for things she knew he had no control over and he still remained there, always at her back, taking every insult she could throw at him. Yep, she definitely was a curse to the people she loved.
She opened her eyes and looked down. 'I can't take this anymore' she thought as her body almost imperceptibly kept moving forward. "It would be so easy." She whispered to the world below her.
'What kind of a person have I become if I can't even be content with the fact that the people I love are happy?' she thought as she remembered her day and more tears spilled from her mocha eyes. Taking a deep breath she lunged forward and then was pulled back sharply as something quickly grabbed her and held her tightly.
Alec hummed to himself lightly as he made his way to the top of the Space Needle. It was a risk leaving Terminal City but he wanted to watch the sunset since it had been such a nice day. He smiled as he remembered everyone's jovial disposition today. Everyone with the exception of one person that is and quite frankly he was a little surprised. Sure she had been down in the dumps recently but on a day like today he figured maybe even she would be feeling a little more mellow. On the contrary however, she seemed to be even more brooding than usual. As the crew in Terminal City had milled about talking and laughing Max had kept to herself, hardly conversing with anybody unless she had to, even Joshua. And when Alec had tried to be the great humanitarian she was always complaining that he wasn't and he asked her if she was alright she had reacted so Max-like. Well, he figured fuck her. She wasn't going to ruin his good mood.
Even as he tried to convince himself of that he couldn't get her off his mind. It really pissed him off that she consumed most of his thoughts and especially on this day. As he got to the top he looked out and mentally sighed. 'Great', he thought as he watched the figure perched close to the edge of the roof. 'A little too close to the edge' he noted to himself. He watched as her body leaned forward a little and he tensed. He knew she didn't know he was there when she softly whispered to herself, "It would be so easy."
He crept forward silently, afraid the slightest noise could set her off. When he saw her poised to jump he blurred and grabbed her tightly around her waist with both arms just as her feet left the ground.
He held her firmly and inched his way backward as fast as he could, which was a hard task considering how hard the feisty woman was struggling from his grasp.
Max's first instinct was to fight whoever had grabbed a hold of her, and that's exactly what she tried to do. After a few moments of vain attempts she realised exactly who had a hold of her and stilled in his arms.
When they were a safe distance away Alec placed her back on her feet. When she didn't turn around to face him he spun her around by her shoulders and shook her hard.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing Max?" He yelled angrily. "Have you lost your mind? Has your poor, lonely, miserable existence finally got the better of you? Do you think your the only person who hasn't thought about jumping off this thing? We all have! Every single person you set free has thought about ending it and now you're going to abandon them? How typically you! Well, what do you have to say for yourself? Answer me Max!" She didn't answer and instead she just walked past him and began to make her way back down. He stood in shock for a few moments, taking deep shaky breaths as everything that had just transpired sank in and then he turned on his heel and followed her path.
He found her mounting her beloved Ninja and stopped her with a gentle touch to her arm. She turned around, tears streaming unchecked down her face. Instinctively he reached out and brushed them away. How did she do this to him? He had every right to be pissed as hell, which he was, but he realised one thing a long time ago, when it came to Max he was so incredibly, indescribably weak. He cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand and she closed her eyes while leaning into the caress. When she opened her eyes again Alec was looking at her with an intensity she had never known before. She switched on the engine and nodded for him to get on which he did. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. It felt so right holding her like that and the anger he felt before completely dissipated.
-------------------------------
Max took off at a leisurely pace, simply enjoying the feel of the man behind her. She had never felt more alive than she did at that moment. She thought back to what she was about to do and internally scolded herself. What the hell was she thinking? She wasn't and that was the problem. She got so caught up in her problems that she forgot about everyone that was counting on her for their survival. She would never have been able to experience what she was feeling right now either as Alec tightened his grip around her waist and nuzzled her neck.
She gunned the engine harder and sped away at an extreme speed, maintaining complete control even as she turned corner after corner sharply. When she got to the perimeter of Terminal City she switched of the bike and they pushed it through an entrance that only a select few of the occupants of Freak Nation knew about. Once safely inside, they got back on the bike and drove away. She eventually slowed down and then stopped in front of the building Alec was living in. She turned the powerful machine off and waited silently but Alec didn't move. Instead she felt one of his arms shift to her face, turning it so he could look at her. Instinctively her body twisted around too and she held his gaze steadily.
"You really scared me." He whispered to her.
Unable to look at him she moved her head down and replied, "I scared myself."
"Why, Max? Why would you try something like that?"
"I was so sick of everything Alec and I know I was being completely selfish but I can't help the way I feel. I'm sorry." She sobbed as she cried again. "I'm so sorry."
Alec turned her completely so she was straddling his lap and hugged her fiercely to him. Her arms encircled his neck as she cried into his neck. He could feel her tears warm against his skin and one of his hands came up and gently stroked her silky hair as he whispered words of comfort into her ear. Even as her weeping subsided they kept their hold on one another. He kissed the top of head and then lifted her head to kiss her on the forehead. Uncontrollably his lips found her eyes and her cheek and then her lips where he kissed her chastely. She responded by deepening the kiss and he moaned as he felt her tongue slip in and taste him.
Their kiss turned passionate as their hands roamed over each others body, taking in all they could and imprinting it in their perfect memories. Suddenly Alec pulled back and pushed Max away from him. She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and hurt and he had to avert his gaze as he took in her ragged breathing and swollen lips before his resolve crumbled.
"We can't do this Max. I won't be a replacement for Logan. I can't." He breathed the last sentence.
Max was still looking at him, he could feel her gaze burn into his features but he refused to meet her eyes. She sighed and slid off him, needing to put as much distance between them physically as possible so she could properly collect her thoughts. She knew she didn't love Logan in that way, not anymore but she couldn't find the words to express what she felt about the man next to her. Too much had happened in the last few weeks and her mind was slowly trying to comprehend everything.
Alec finally looked up to see Max deep in thought. She remained so for a long time so he simply nodded his head in resignation and stepped off the motorcycle. He gave her one more glance before turning and walking to his apartment defeated. What had he expected? Max to deny her feelings for the old geezer and confess her undying love and devotion for him? 'How stupid could you get?' he thought as he made his way into his lonely, dilapidated place of residence.
He threw his keys on the coffee table, kicked off his shoes and peeled off his jacket, throwing it to rest on the back of the couch. He then proceeded to take off his tight black shirt, leaving him clad only in blue jeans. He sank down on his bed and covered his face with his right arm. He nearly jumped out of his skin a few minutes later when he felt a gentle touch to his chest. His eyes locked onto a pair of brown ones and the tension left his body. Her hand remained on his chest, right on top of his heart and her fingers lightly stroked the soft skin.
"I don't love Logan." She blurted, obviously nervous about what she wanted to say. "At least not the way I thought I did." Her hand slid higher, cupping his cheek as she sat on the mattress next to him. His hand moved to hold hers on his face and she spoke again. "I'm so confused right now. But I know I care for you. Much more than I let on. You're not a replacement, Alec. You mean so much more to me than that but... I'm afraid."
"You don't have to be. I would never hurt you. You know that right?" He asked, letting a little of the hurt and insecurity he felt at her admission seep into his voice.
"Of course I know that and that's not what I'm afraid of. I hurt the people I love. I don't mean to but I do and I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you too." Her voice cracked with emotion as she spoke.
He let out a small laugh. "God Max, are you really this self involved?" He asked incredulously. She looked at him in a mixture of shock and hurt and he let out a long breath before continuing. "You can't make decisions for everybody else based on what you think is best. I'm a big boy and I know what I want... and that's you." He said as his free hand slid up her back and into her hair, causing her to shiver involuntarily.
She closed her eyes and let him pull her down so that she was spooned against him on the bed. "You can't protect everybody." He whispered to her. "And sometimes you need to be protected, from yourself more than anything. Let me protect you Max." He said and then kissed her neck. She nodded her head and let him continue his sweet torture. How could she have ever thought this caring guy was a total fuck up? She really was too self involved to see what was in front of her and it saddened her that she had become like that.
He leaned over her, bracing himself on one elbow while his other hand slid under the front her shirt to trace patterns on her stomach. She turned her face to look at him and was momentarily lost in the desire and emotions pooling in his hazel depths. He leaned down and kissed her softly, sucking on her full bottom lip. She turned in his arms and moved her arms around him and he let his tongue slip into her mouth.
Her hands roamed over the expanse of his back, feeling his hard muscles flex under them. She wasn't at all surprised at how smooth his skin was. It was like silk under her fingers but that did nothing to obscure the raw power of his muscles that lay beneath the sleekness. She moaned softly into his mouth as his hand found it's way back under her shirt and cupped her breast, his thumb stroking over one of her already hard nipples through the thin material of her bra. She pushed him back and sat up, proceeding to pull off her jacket and then her shirt in slow deliberate movements as Alec eyed her intently. He caught her hands as they went to the clasp of her bra and moved them away, replacing them with his own he undid the clasp and pulled the straps down her shoulders.
He took a deep breath as she was bared before him. She was so beautiful, every golden inch of her skin perfect. He kissed her again, harder this time as an overwhelming sense of desire struck him, one he had never felt before. He pushed her back down against the mattress and she opened her legs wide as he settled himself between them.
He felt her hands trace a path down his chest, her nails lightly scratching his nipples before settling on the fly of his jeans trying to undo them. He lifted his hips slightly giving her better access and she popped open the button and pulled down the zipper before discarding the material blindly. Hers soon followed and they explored each other greedily, each taking turns to drive the other out of their mind.
He pushed forward, sinking into her slowly. They stayed that way for a while, neither moving just enjoying the feel of being one with each other. He looked at her and found her watching him with tears in her eyes. He kissed her softly and began a slow yet forceful pace. They continued that way for what felt like forever and then she was falling, falling from heaven and feeling surprisingly safe in the assurance that Alec would be there to catch her when she tumbled back down to earth..
A long while later he collapsed on top of her, gasping for breath as their bodies came back down from the high they had just experienced. He felt lips at his shoulder and looked down to see Max pull them away and smile up at him. She looked amazing in the afterglow and the knowledge that he had put that look of complete contentment on her made him swell with masculine pride. He rolled them both over so she lay on top. She laid her head on his chest as his arms tightened around her.
They stayed that way for a long time. They were both lost in their own thoughts over everything that had happened in such a short space of time. It was almost surreal that they had gotten to where they were at that moment considering what had gotten them there in the first place. Alec tensed as he remembered seeing her frail form teetering on the edge of the cold steel of the Space Needle and the awful sense of dread he had felt when he saw her prepared to make the leap.
She looked up at him after feeling him tense beneath her and knew what was invading his thoughts. She hung her head, shame replacing the happiness she was feeling only a moment before. "I'm sorry." She whispered.
He put a finger under her chin and tilted her to meet his gaze. "No more sorry's Max. Just promise me you'll never try anything like that again."
A lone tear escaped her eye and he brushed it away. "I promise, Alec. I promise. Besides..." she let a small shy smile play on her face, "I've got a lot more to live for now than I did a few hours ago... and there are too many people counting on me. I don't want to disappoint them."
He kissed her then and wrapped his arms around her, allowing her the comfort of his embrace once again. She snuggled into him and smiled as she let his touch relax her. Just as she had lost hope the one person she least expected turned her world around in the space of a few hours. She looked out the window to the clear black sky filled with the stars. The moon shone brightly through the window and cast a soft, warm glow in the room. 'It was a beautiful day after all' she thought as her eyes drifted shut and the world outside disappeared.
THE END