The Forgotten Summer
Harry was sitting in his room. He could here Aunt Petunia laughing wildly downstairs. They were playing Jenga. Dudley loved Jenga, but his chubby fingers weren't capable of poking the little Jenga blocks out, so Aunt Petunia had to do it for him.
Harry sighed as he looked out the window. None of his friends sent him letters. Did they forget about him? "Well at least I have you, Hedwig," Harry sighed to his pet owl.
Hedwig wasn't listening; she was too busy eating the newspaper on the bottom of her cage.
"That's it Hedwig, fiber is good for a young birds diet"
Hedwig squawked at him and half her feathers flew off her body due to malnutrition.
"THAT RUDDY BIRD!" Vernon burst through the door holding a bottle of rum. "If ssshat bird makesh one more nase Dudley werl lose Jonga!"
"That is not a bird, it is a magic carpet, and I am a Dudley, you want to feed me."
"Food for Dudley!" Vernon yelled blissfully as threw him a rather large chicken leg and swayed out of the room humming a distorted tune.
Harry tore vehemently at the chicken leg as Hedwig screeched heatedly at Harry. "Get your own food, scavenger!" and Harry continued on his chicken leg. Hedwig was running out of newspaper, so she started on her foot. That hurt so she stopped, shook outrageously and fell off her perch.
"Fine you can have a scrap." Harry threw her the bone. Hedwig still remained limp. "Ruddy owl.."
Suddenly there was a tapping at his window. It was an owl! Harry opened the window and the bird flew in with a shaky landing. Harry took the letter from the bird, which also fainted. Harry shrugged at the bird and continued to open his letter.
Just then, Hedwig leaped out of her cage and ate the bird. She was now happy and carried the owl carcass in her cage.
Harry read his letter excitedly:
Hary-
Hey dawg, wat up g? Sry forgot to rite 2 u all sumer. Im hanging wit Hermy at da Leeky Caldrin. We mis u and hav a kikin sumer hommey. Btw, ur misin all da fun. Where r u? O yeah! At ur crapy ars ant and uncles house! Haha
Ron
Harry had trouble reading through Ron's crappy writing but he thought it was about papaya juice or something. There was another letter, from Hermione!
Harry-
Hey buddy! How are you? Sorry we forgot to write you all summer. I'm hanging out with Ron at the Leaky Cauldron. We miss you and we hope you're having a great summer. Pity that you're missing all the fun, but it'll be more fun at school! I hope your aunt and uncle aren't being too mean.
With love, Hermione P.S. Ron is so pathetic, he made me sign his name.
Harry felt so much better now that he'd finally got letters from his friends, but that feeling subsided when Hedwig flew out and ate his letters.
"Well maybe fiber's, not that good."
Harry sat looking out his window again, pondering life. He really didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, nor stay here. Hogwarts was so boring and overrated. Also he was mad he wasn't put into Slytherin, that damn Sorting Hat was fixed to put him into goody-goody-Gryfindor. Equally, Hermione was disappointed she was not in Ravenclaw, no doubt the best house in all of Hogwarts.
Harry sat pondering, and pondering, and yet, still pondering when suddenly he had an idea.
"I have an idea!"
He ran downstairs and got his broom and luggage. He took out his wand and put a Lightweight spell on the luggage and tied it to his broom. Screw the law of under aged wizards not able to do magic! He could blame it on someone else, like a house elf.
He went back to his room and gathered a few things. Oh, Hedwig too.
"Come on Hedwig! You can fly behind me!" He slapped the dying owl, which perked up instantly and flew out of the window like a bullet on the Matrix.
Harry kicked off the ground through the window.
What a feeling to be free again! Perhaps he could run away, a wizard on the run. But that damn ministry would have a fit if their precious Harry Potter turned to the evil side. That's why I'm in Gryfindor, he thought, it's all a marketing scam.
Harry had to get rid of this reputation he had. So he came up with a plan, a plan that he was positive would work. A plan so ingenious, so brilliant, that it would never fail!
Then he came up with another plan, because plan A never works.
Harry laughed to himself as the wind whipped through his hair, he would call it:
Plan B: Hogwarts, A History.
Harry was sitting in his room. He could here Aunt Petunia laughing wildly downstairs. They were playing Jenga. Dudley loved Jenga, but his chubby fingers weren't capable of poking the little Jenga blocks out, so Aunt Petunia had to do it for him.
Harry sighed as he looked out the window. None of his friends sent him letters. Did they forget about him? "Well at least I have you, Hedwig," Harry sighed to his pet owl.
Hedwig wasn't listening; she was too busy eating the newspaper on the bottom of her cage.
"That's it Hedwig, fiber is good for a young birds diet"
Hedwig squawked at him and half her feathers flew off her body due to malnutrition.
"THAT RUDDY BIRD!" Vernon burst through the door holding a bottle of rum. "If ssshat bird makesh one more nase Dudley werl lose Jonga!"
"That is not a bird, it is a magic carpet, and I am a Dudley, you want to feed me."
"Food for Dudley!" Vernon yelled blissfully as threw him a rather large chicken leg and swayed out of the room humming a distorted tune.
Harry tore vehemently at the chicken leg as Hedwig screeched heatedly at Harry. "Get your own food, scavenger!" and Harry continued on his chicken leg. Hedwig was running out of newspaper, so she started on her foot. That hurt so she stopped, shook outrageously and fell off her perch.
"Fine you can have a scrap." Harry threw her the bone. Hedwig still remained limp. "Ruddy owl.."
Suddenly there was a tapping at his window. It was an owl! Harry opened the window and the bird flew in with a shaky landing. Harry took the letter from the bird, which also fainted. Harry shrugged at the bird and continued to open his letter.
Just then, Hedwig leaped out of her cage and ate the bird. She was now happy and carried the owl carcass in her cage.
Harry read his letter excitedly:
Hary-
Hey dawg, wat up g? Sry forgot to rite 2 u all sumer. Im hanging wit Hermy at da Leeky Caldrin. We mis u and hav a kikin sumer hommey. Btw, ur misin all da fun. Where r u? O yeah! At ur crapy ars ant and uncles house! Haha
Ron
Harry had trouble reading through Ron's crappy writing but he thought it was about papaya juice or something. There was another letter, from Hermione!
Harry-
Hey buddy! How are you? Sorry we forgot to write you all summer. I'm hanging out with Ron at the Leaky Cauldron. We miss you and we hope you're having a great summer. Pity that you're missing all the fun, but it'll be more fun at school! I hope your aunt and uncle aren't being too mean.
With love, Hermione P.S. Ron is so pathetic, he made me sign his name.
Harry felt so much better now that he'd finally got letters from his friends, but that feeling subsided when Hedwig flew out and ate his letters.
"Well maybe fiber's, not that good."
Harry sat looking out his window again, pondering life. He really didn't want to go back to Hogwarts, nor stay here. Hogwarts was so boring and overrated. Also he was mad he wasn't put into Slytherin, that damn Sorting Hat was fixed to put him into goody-goody-Gryfindor. Equally, Hermione was disappointed she was not in Ravenclaw, no doubt the best house in all of Hogwarts.
Harry sat pondering, and pondering, and yet, still pondering when suddenly he had an idea.
"I have an idea!"
He ran downstairs and got his broom and luggage. He took out his wand and put a Lightweight spell on the luggage and tied it to his broom. Screw the law of under aged wizards not able to do magic! He could blame it on someone else, like a house elf.
He went back to his room and gathered a few things. Oh, Hedwig too.
"Come on Hedwig! You can fly behind me!" He slapped the dying owl, which perked up instantly and flew out of the window like a bullet on the Matrix.
Harry kicked off the ground through the window.
What a feeling to be free again! Perhaps he could run away, a wizard on the run. But that damn ministry would have a fit if their precious Harry Potter turned to the evil side. That's why I'm in Gryfindor, he thought, it's all a marketing scam.
Harry had to get rid of this reputation he had. So he came up with a plan, a plan that he was positive would work. A plan so ingenious, so brilliant, that it would never fail!
Then he came up with another plan, because plan A never works.
Harry laughed to himself as the wind whipped through his hair, he would call it:
Plan B: Hogwarts, A History.