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A little over an hour had passed since he had set Harry the task of cleaning off the dust on the old school portraits, deliberately guiding him to certain sections at a time. He had his reasons for this, reasons that soon enough would become apparent, but not yet. Severus was waiting. Waiting and watching the boy carefully, and he had one very good reason to do that.
The post he'd received this evening at dinner had both angered and terrified him to no end. But if the post was right, time was running out and he had to find out exactly what the boys intentions were. The only problem was how to do that without sounding either too caring, too curious, or driving him away completely. Not an easy task for someone like Severus Snape that's for sure.
Glancing at Harry to see he was on the other side of the room occupied thoroughly with the cleaning of a large portrait of Hengist of Woodcroft, Severus pulled out a well crumpled piece of parchment. Since the moment he'd gotten this at dinner, surprisingly delivered by his own owl Eranos, the words had burned into his mind like a branding iron. With one last check towards Harry, Severus looked down and reread the parchment for the hundredth time, his insides turning cold with terrified fear.
~~~~
Snape-
I know the truth about you and your past, as well as who you sneak into the dungeons at night these days. As to how I found out that is irrelevant, for the moment however I will keep your secret. But you must do something in return, something only the three of you can. SAVE HARRY. If I am right in what I think, time is running out. If you don't save him soon from himself, we are all doomed and the evil will win. I would help him if I could but as things are I can't. But you and your 'friends' can....and I will only hope you are in time....because if he dies....you will be responsible for more than one death....for I too will follow him....
~~~~
The fact that the note was unsigned meant little to Severus, it was the words more than anything else that cut through him like a hot knife. He could tell the writing had been magically altered as well, so the person who'd written it was indistinguishable. That meant that unless Severus wanted to make an all out investigation, he probably would never find out who wrote it. Whoever it was though obviously knew far too much and Severus was at great risk now.
He was torn into two different directions, unsure of how to approach either. On the one hand to actively pry into Harry's life meant trouble for him, not only because of his well honed 'dislike' for the boy either. Harry was a Gryffindor, Severus a Slytherin, and to cross the boundaries and rules of the internal house 'hatreds' would be too great a risk to the 'job' he was forced to preform. To show any type of interest in the boy at this point could blow up everything he'd worked so hard to create.
However on the other hand, if he didn't do anything and sat by idly he would lose far far more, he knew that. All the efforts he'd done would be for naught if Harry died, and even Severus knew that if the world had any chances left, it lay within Harry. But that wasn't the true issue of what Severus would lose, not by any means. And the thought of that loss made his heart stop and his blood run cold.
In the end the weight of the latter losses won, and Severus knew the time had finally come to do what he should have done a long time ago. Whether or not what he would say would have any effect remained to be seen, but if there was any way to do what had been asked of him, he had to do it. And the detention here in the portrait room had been the perfect alibi for what he now planned.
"Professor?" a voice asked from across the room.
Severus looked up from his thoughts startled and quickly put away the piece of parchment back in his robe making sure it was safely tucked away. Looking up at the boy he schooled his expression back into one of indifference and managed to scowl out, "What do you want Potter?"
"I finished dusting this side of the room that's all," Harry said keeping his distance.
Severus only gave a cursory glance towards the work Harry had done and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Very well, go clean over there now," he said pointing to the opposite side of where Harry was standing.
Harry looked at where Severus pointed before turning back to him. "Umm...professor?"
"What now Potter?" Severus said muttering.
"I already cleaned that side of the room," Harry said.
"Well then go find a place you haven't cleaned boy and stop nagging me!" Severus said in a surely voice. He needed to buy a bit more time....just a bit more until his carefully laid plans could take hold.
"Yes sir," Harry said a bit dejectedly and walked over to another area he hadn't done yet and began to dust off a portrait of Elfric the Eager.
Severus noticed Harry look at the portrait carefully as if he was thinking bout something, then saw him turn back to face him a question forming in his mind. "Having trouble completing your task Potter?" he said keeping a level gaze on the boy.
Harry shook his head and glanced back at the portrait. "Was Elfric really as bad as everyone said he was?"
Severus wasn't quite prepared for that question and he had to think for a moment . Truth was back in school he had been the worst magic history student, caring for nothing Professor Binns had discussed, and more often then not had feigned off in class reading potions books instead. He racked his brain quickly trying to remember everything he had heard bout Elfric so as not to appear completely stupid in front of Harry. Unfortunately there wasn't a single thing he could think of at the moment causing him to scowl slightly.
"Actually everything you've heard about Elfric was indeed true Harry," an amused voice said from the doorway. "He was a traitor who informed the enemy army to turn and run on the very night of what probably would have been a victorious battle."
"R-Lupin! What are you doing here?" Severus exclaimed in what he hoped was a suspicious manner and glared at the now grinning other man. The fact that Remus was now here however told him he'd bought all the time he needed after all.
Remus walked into the room and glanced at Severus a moment before turning to face Harry. "Oh I just thought I'd check up on the son of my best friend that's all. Make sure he was still alive up here and not half eaten by dust bunnies," Remus said smiling over at Harry who returned it in kind.
Severus however had not missed the implications of that comment. "I thought you were attending to Mr. Malfoy's detention," he said giving Remus a slight shake of his head.
Remus nodded back slightly then said, "He was needed elsewhere at the moment so I rescheduled his detention for another night. Drawbacks of being Head Boy I suppose," Remus said nonchalantly and walked further into the room to stand next to Harry and stare up at the portrait of Elfric now. "Shame about Elfric really. You know it took 16 years before they finally found out who the betrayer was that night."
"Really whoa. That's a long time," Harry said glancing up at Elfric himself now. "But what made him do it? Turn to the side of evil I mean?"
Remus glanced back at Severus a moment while Harry's head was still turned before replying. "No one really knows why he did it Harry. Perhaps like some he wanted the fame and the power of what he thought evil was."
"Fame and power aren't always everything Lupin. Sometimes it's more a curse then a blessing incase you've forgotten," Severus said without thinking causing Remus to turned and give him a sharp look.
"I wouldn't know about that now...would I Severus..." Remus said in a cool voice.
Harry however had not missed the intonations of what that seemed to say. Turning to Remus he looked at him closely a moment as if he was thinking hard on something. "Does being good or evil really matter though? I mean in the end it's all the same thing....a struggle for something someone else wants. Even the side of good makes their sacrifices....will kill even...to get the intended goals. Sometimes I wonder if one side really is better then the other in that case," Harry said quietly.
Both Remus and Severus looked at Harry surprised at what he'd said. "I suppose you have a point in that Potter. Each side will do what they must to get what they want in the end. The only difference is that you're fighting for what's right instead of what's wrong."
Harry shook his head and sighed deeply. "But if it means losing everything and everyone you care about...then how can you say that it's still right? You're still losing either way....losing everything....parents...friends....people who have the foolish ideas that giving up their lives is the right thing to do. But it isn't..." he said in a pained voice.
"Oh Harry that's not true. Those ideas aren't foolish, not to the people who believe in them," Remus said softly.
"My parents thought they were doing what was right too. Knowing that they couldn't stand up to Voldemort they still had to die....only to prove a point? That they believed in what they were doing?" Harry said bitterly.
Severus got up and walked over to Harry and surprisingly put a hand on his shoulder squeezing it gently. "No, your mo- err...Lily and....James...didn't die to prove a point. But they did believe the world would be far better off without Voldemort in it. They were willing to fight for that....and die for that....because they wanted a better life for everyone," he said with a sigh.
Harry seemed to think that over for a moment then looked up at Remus with a tortured look in his eyes. A tear had started to slide down his cheek but he didn't even brush it aside. "Why? Why didn't they protect themselves like they did me? Why did they die and leave me alone when I needed them so badly....why?" Harry said through a choked sob.
Remus looked back at Harry with a deep gaze of pure sadness for a moment, then turned his gaze to Severus. "They didn't leave you alone Harry....not really. There were a lot more issues behind what happened then anyone knew. But maybe now isn't the best time after all to find that out..."
"No Remus....I think now is exactly the right time for him to know," Severus said softly and looked down at Harry who was noticeably surprised at hearing Severus called Remus by his first name. "However the truth might be harder to accept then the lies."
Harry deliberated over what Severus was saying then looked up at him slowly. "I want the truth."
Severus nodded to Harry then looked over at Remus who was watching them both closely. "It's time then. Remus, go get him and I'll meet you there shortly. This is where it all started, so this is where it should end."
Remus nodded and without a word left the room leaving Harry slightly bewildered. Rubbing away his tears Harry turned back to Severus, a questioning look in his eyes. "What started here professor?"
Severus looked into Harry's eyes searchingly for a moment suddenly surprised at what he was seeing. He had looked into those eyes a thousand times, but now there was something different, something that hadn't been there before. A noticeable ring of black surrounded the green irises and Severus had no doubts in his mind, not that he ever had had any doubts before, of where it had come from.
The other changes as well left him no doubts as to their origins, he was just surprised that no one else had really noticed it however. The fact that in the past month Harry's hair had grown to nearly the middle of his back and hung limply round his head when it wasn't tied back in a ponytail should have been a huge giveaway, at least in Severus's eyes. The angry, coarse demeanour Harry adapted since the summer only added to the whole picture. Yet no one, not even the Granger girl had noticed oddly enough. Or if they had they had obviously not said anything to Harry.
Thinking back Severus now remembered something else from class. In the past few weeks Harry hadn't once gotten a single potion wrong. In fact, he remembered that the last time he'd tried to humiliate Harry in front of the Slytherin's he found he couldn't, simply because Harry had known the potion ingredients right off the top of his head without a single flaw even. If Severus's thinking was right, it wasn't just in potions Harry was now finding himself at ease. Without a doubt Charms would have been the second thing on Severus's list of the new 'skills' that Harry might be finding all too easy.
"Come, there's something you need to see," Severus said firmly now. He led Harry to the very back of the room to a semi hidden area before stopping at a portrait of a beautiful older woman with long black hair and sparkling black eyes. Bowing once he said, "Dobry vecher Marushka."
The lady in the painting smiled and nodded, obviously very pleased to see Severus. "Dobry vecher moj syn. Chem ya mogu tebye pomoch?"
"Liliya zdes'?" Severus asked.
The woman looked round a moment then said, "Da, odin moment"
Severus nodded and said back, "Ya podozhdu ejo. Spasiba."
The woman smiled then left the portrait apparently in search of something. Harry looked over at Severus questioningly. "What language is that professor? I've never heard it before."
Severus allowed himself a slight grin before replying. "It's Russian. Marushka was a very important Russian witch during the Grindelwald wars. She also was....my mother," Severus said quietly.
Harry stared at Severus in pure shock. Not that he thought Severus didn't have a mum, but this woman had seemed nothing like Severus...although in looks now that Harry did think bout it he did resemble her. "She...died?" Harry said hesitantly.
Severus nodded. "Yes. She choose to sacrifice herself during the second dark ages, rather then allow Voldemort to obtain her powers. It was a well worthy sacrifice however on her part, and I know she never regretted it. She and the Headmaster I believe had quite the thing for each other for a while." he said with a touch of a grin.
"Pr-professor Dumbledore...l-liked your mother? But he's so...old!" Harry said in astonishment.
Now Severus did chuckle. "He might be old to you, but I can assure you even the great Albus Dumbledore is not without being human. They probably would have married if she hadn't done what she considered the right thing to do. My parents had me when they were much older then most wizarding families. Not because they didn't want to sooner, but they had things that always seemed to get in the way. When I was finally born my mother was near 70, my father well after 90. My father was killed when I was a child however, and my mother after a while moved on, she always was a charmer and Albus Dumbledore and her had much in common."
Harry was bout to respond when Marushka returned. "Ona zdes' Severus. Do svidaniya."
"Do svidaniya Mat'," Severus said bowing again as the lady disappeared and was replaced by someone else now. Someone that both of the people in the room knew, and knew well. Someone that made Harry gasp with surprise.
"Oh hello Sev! Didn't know it was you. You hardly visit these days..." the girl, for she wasn't more then 18 at best, said with a pout. She was dressed in the normal black school robes, but a red and gold Gryffindor crest was clearly pinned on them, along with a silver badge that read "Head Girl"
"Forgive me Lily, I do apologize, I should make more of an effort. Everything is well with you?" Severus said.
Lily Evans, for she was still an Evans and not a Potter yet, shrugged her shoulders. "As well as can be. Boring really, oh how I wish they had done a portrait of the boys, I miss them sometimes. They hardly come to see me like you do," Lily said with a sigh. "Anyway, so what brings you here Sev?" she said then spotted Harry off to the side. "Oh!! Oh is that who I think it is? Is that him?" Lily said turning best she could within the confines of the portrait she was in to get a better look at Harry.
Severus nodded and to Harry's definite surprise, smiled at Lily. "It is Lily. It's Harry."
"Oh Sev! That's wonderful! And you said you would never tell him. Oh Harry! It's so wonderful to actually be able to talk to you instead of peeking at you from the walls!" Lily said beaming happily.
With a slight nod from Severus, Harry walked up to the portrait and looked up into the youngish face of his mother. A face that he had dreamed bout for 7 years now, and here he was actually talking to her! Or at least...a form of her, but for Harry that was good enough. "Mum? Is...is that...really you?" he said awed.
Lily laughed and nodded. "Well...sort of. It was my idea, the whole portrait thing. Mind you sitting for nearly 3 hours to get it done wasn't easy, but worth it I think now."
"I don't understand though....are....are you....alive?" Harry asked.
Lily shook her head. "No...I wish I was Harry, believe me I do. But I'm just a picture with...some memories that's all. Just like all of Hogwarts portraits, I exist in the past really, not the here and now. I remember only what I knew when I was painted and brought magically to 'life' as it were. Anything after that Sev, Remus and Sirius told me," she said giving Harry a sad look now.
"Why do you call him Sev? I thought you hated Professor Snape?" Harry ask puzzled.
Lily flashed Severus an odd look before replying. "We did, long ago Harry. But...times change, people change. When Severus first sought me out I wouldn't speak to him even. I still thought of him as the slimy greasy hooknosed git that gave us nothing but trouble. But over time...I watched him and I listened. He seemed sincere in his words...and in the end...we became friends, good friends actually. He needed someone to confide in and talk to, and I was there."
"Oh...I see," Harry said giving Severus a glance. "So...that means...you know everything?"
"I know enough Harry, if that's what you mean. I know what happened back then though yes. I know I died...as did Jamie. But I'm very glad you lived. We all hoped you would, for so many reasons," Lily said softly.
"I don't understand mum...why? Why me? Why was I special over anyone else?" Harry asked close to tears again.
Lily looked over at Severus with a strange look in her emerald green eyes. "Are you sure you really want him to know Sev? You said the five of us did make an agreement on this...."
"I know what I said, but that issue is moot now. There's more at stake then we thought, and now is the time. Can you meet us at the portrait in the usual place? The others are waiting there by now I'm sure," Severus said.
"Of course. I'm sure Marushka want's her frame back by now. Although I'm positive she's taking this advantage to go visit Albus unless I miss my guess," Lily said with a grin.
Severus chuckled at that and nodded his head. "I'm sure of that as well. We'll meet you there then."
With a wave Lily leapt from the portrait and Harry couldn't see where she was headed off to. "Professor? Was....is...that...really my mum?" he asked still a bit in awe.
"In essence yes, it is. Your mother had grand ideas as Head Girl, and when she was getting ready to leave Hogwarts she asked Albus to have her portrait done. That way any future Head Girls could come to her if they needed help. She used to hang in the Head Girl's room until the day before you arrived at Hogwarts. She thought it was too risky, so she asked to be removed to here instead," Severus said as he turned to head back out of the portrait room.
Harry followed but wouldn't give up the conversation. "But why? Why didn't she want me to know she was here?"
"I think it's because she felt that you might be more hurt if you saw her only as a portrait and not as a physical being that could touch and hold you. You had just found out who she was, and the thought of her like that could have done more damage then good back then. You were too young to understand, but Lily knew it was the only thing to do," Severus said.
Harry sighed. "She doesn't really know who I am though does she. I mean...she's not the person who did hold me as a baby and stuff."
"No, she's not in that respect. But she is still a part of your mother, and she knows enough to understand what it was like," Severus said quietly.
For a little while neither of them spoke after that, each reflecting in their thoughts until Harry realised where they were headed now. "The east wing?" he said surprised now.
Severus nodded and steered Harry towards the now very familiar corridor. "I know you've been here watching. I always know when your trying not to be noticed," Severus said with a slight grin.
Harry looked at Severus shocked. "You did know? I had a suspicion you might have...but...I wasn't sure. I just don't understand though Professor. Why are you being so nice to now? Why does my mum like you? What's going on with you, Remus and Sirius?"
"Slow down Harry, one thing at a time. All of that will be answered shortly. And again, I will warn you now. It's not too late to back out of this, you could just walk away here and now or I can put a memory charm on you to forget any of this. It's up to you," Severus said stopping for a moment to look at Harry carefully.
Harry thought bout that for a moment then slowly shook his head. "No, I want to know. Strange as it sounds, I really do want to know. I've been curious since the first time I saw the three of you up there and why you would all be together. And now with my mum...." he said with a slight catch in his throat.
"Harry...I told you the truth could be harder then you think. Painful even. I'm not going to say this will be easy to hear, it won't be."
Harry thought hard for a moment then turned and looked at his potions professor in the eyes. "I'd rather die knowing the truth, then die with the lies professor."
"That's what I'm afraid of the most Harry...." Severus said in a low voice and then nodded his head. "Very well then let's continue. It's getting late and we have a lot to talk about," Severus said, and together the both of them continued down the passageway to where the truth and the lies would be sorted out. And Severus hoped when all was said and done, that it would indeed be worth it.
Dobry vecher - Good Evening.
moj syn - my son
Chem ya mogu tebye pomoch? - What can I do for you?
Liliya zdes'? - Is Lily here?
Da, odin moment. - Yes, one moment.
Ya podozhdu ejo. Spasiba. - I will wait for her. Thank you.
Ona zdes' Severus. Do svidaniya. - Here she is Severus. Good-bye.
Mat' - mother
2002-06-09 8:47:54 PM