Chapter Ten
Things didn't get better the next day. I thought Tyler would get over the initial shock of Derek's death and speak to me again, but he continued to ignore me. I left Hope with him at the hotel while I went to the police station to give my statement. I spoke to Officer Grimes.
"Mrs. Brookes, I'm very sorry for your loss," he said as I sat down across from him in his office. I hadn't cried yet that day and I had no intention of crying at all.
"Thank you," I said.
"Can you tell me everything that happened last night?" he asked.
I wasn't planning on telling him my whole story. I just couldn't explain to him why my mother was there without telling him about the trailer home in Monkton and my mother running away. I told him about my uncle Fred just getting out of jail and my how my real father was dead. I even told him what had happened with Anthony and Erin back in Duncan. He didn't interrupt me once. He just sat back and listened to everything I had to say. It felt good to tell someone everything. The only person outside my family that knew everything was Rachel and I hadn't been able to talk with her much anymore.
"That is quite a story," the officer said leaning back in his chair. Officer Grimes had very shiny black hair and brown eyes. His nose was straight and he had a strong jaw. He was very good looking and he didn't look older than thirty. But I couldn't think about anyone but Derek. Officer Grimes' eyes were hazel now and he had blond hair.
"I need to get back to my daughter, I'd like to leave Toronto as soon as possible," I said.
He nodded in understanding.
He handed me his card and said, "You can call me anytime, here or at home, I wrote my home number on the back," he smiled.
I stared at him a moment and then fury bubbled up in my throat, "I'm not looking for a date, Officer Grimes," I said sharply.
He smile faded and he shook his head, "No, I wasn't-"
I cut him off before he could finish, "I'm not stupid, do I look stupid?" I said my voice getting louder.
"Now, just calm down and let me explain," he said, his face was turning red.
"I don't need you to explain! I can be a single mother! I CAN! But, I can't live without Derek," I said quietly.
Officer Grimes sat in silence staring at me sympathetically. I hated that sympathy. I was strong. I shouldn't be pitied.
"Don't look at me like that," I whispered and I turned and left the police station in tears. So much for my no more crying plan. I sat in my car in front of the station for what felt like hours. I thought I could do it, but I couldn't. I needed Derek, I couldn't raise Hope on my own. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
I started the car up and drove back to the hotel. I wiped away my tears so Tyler and Hope wouldn't see how out of control I was. They needed to know that I could handle things even if I didn't know I could.
They were both sleeping when I walked into the room. I looked at my sweet little daughter who had the perfect family before. Now her father was gone and she wasn't going to understand. I dreaded telling her that he wasn't coming back. Would she cry? Would she ignore what I said and still watch at the window for him everyday when he was supposed to be home?
You shouldn't look back. Too bad I didn't know that before.
The next day I took Hope to see Derek's parents. The police had notified them about his death. They deserved to see their granddaughter.
Derek had lived in a huge house near La Vie. I could see the top of La Vie's roof from Derek's driveway. I had been nervous about coming so close to it again but I swallowed my fears and came anyway.
Tyler refused to come with us. All he wanted to do was lay in bed or watch TV. Derek had been almost like a father to him and he didn't know what to do without him.
I knocked on the door of the big white brick house and waited. Hope was standing beside me, she was wearing a little navy blue dress with matching bows in her dark hair. She held tightly to a doll that
Derek had given her only two months ago for her birthday. She named the doll Kelly.
A woman probably in her sixties opened the door. She was wearing a plain, long, black dress. Her hair was stark white and she had it up in a bun at the back of her head.
"Skye," she said. She came forward and hugged me tightly. Derek had invited his parents to our wedding and they had come. He was close to this family and missed them a great deal, living so far away from them. But he didn't complain because he knew I wanted to live far away from La Vie. He had sacrificed so much for me and now he had made the ultimate sacrifice.
"Miranda," I said. I swallowed the tears that were threatening to explode on my cheeks. I wanted to look calm and composed, not like an out of control wreck.
"This is Hope, you granddaughter," I said.
"Little Hope," Miranda said kneeling down to Hope's eyes level, "She has Derek's eyes," she said.
"I know," I said, my voice cracking.
"Come in to the living room dear," Miranda said. We followed her into a large living room with beautiful leather furniture. I sat on a chair and Hope sat on my lap. She had been very quiet all day. I think she was starting to really wonder where her father was.
A man with gray hair and hazel eyes just like Derek's came into the room then. He had to same nose and chin as Derek. I wondered if that was what Derek would have looked like when he got old. I would never know.
"Vincent, this is Derek's daughter," Miranda said to her husband.
Vincent came closer and looked at Hope in wonder.
"Hope, these are your Grandparents," I told her. She squeezed Kelly closer.
"We have something for you," Miranda said. She picked up a photo album up off the table and handed it to me. It was covered in brown leather. I opened it on my lap so Hope could see. It was full of pictures of Derek growing up. He looked so cute in his little sailor suit on the sail boat his family owned. Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned the pages and watched him grow up. The pictures ended when he was about twenty. He had left home to search for me.
"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, unable to hold back my tears anymore.
"Oh dear, it's okay, he was a wonderful man, he wouldn't have wanted you to be sad, he would want you to go on with your life and raise your daughter the best way you know how," Miranda said coming to hug me.
"Mommy, don't cry, Daddy, will come back," Hope said quietly.
I looked at her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concern.
"No, he won't honey," I said to her. She had somehow convinced her that Derek was coming back, "Daddy is in Heaven now," I said to her.
She just stared at me in concern.
We left the Brookes house a little while later telling them that we'd be at the funeral tomorrow. They wanted to keep Derek's body in Toronto to bury in the family section of the graveyard. I had agreed half-heartedly. It didn't matter to me where he was buried, he's still be gone.
The funeral was packed full with people from Derek's father's work. I had called Rachel the night before and told her the bad news. I said she didn't have to come down, but she insisted. She arrived on the train an hour before the funeral.
We hugged and cried together. Tyler was with Hope waiting in the car. They both wore black and sad faces. Hope knew now that her father wasn't coming back.
"What am I going to do without him Rachel?" I asked through sobs.
"It'll be fine, you have lots of friends to help you," she said smiling a little.
Derek's parents chose beautiful white casket for his to be buried in. It was closed through the ceremony due to the injuries he had received from the fall.
I didn't cry until the first shovel of dirt was thrown into the hole where my beloved husband would be forever.
Rachel took Tyler and Hope back to the hotel to pack up all our things. She even went to La Vie for me to get Derek's suitcase. I sat beside the tombstone that Miranda had made for Derek. It read: "Derek Colin Brookes, Beloved, Husband, Son and Father, He will be dearly missed,"
I sat there just staring at the mound of fresh dirt. I tried not to think about Derek's body under the ground. I told myself he wasn't in there anymore. He was in Heaven, looking down on me.
"Skye?" a voice said from behind me. It sounded vaguely familiar.
I turned around and gasped in surprise.
It was Trevor.
Things didn't get better the next day. I thought Tyler would get over the initial shock of Derek's death and speak to me again, but he continued to ignore me. I left Hope with him at the hotel while I went to the police station to give my statement. I spoke to Officer Grimes.
"Mrs. Brookes, I'm very sorry for your loss," he said as I sat down across from him in his office. I hadn't cried yet that day and I had no intention of crying at all.
"Thank you," I said.
"Can you tell me everything that happened last night?" he asked.
I wasn't planning on telling him my whole story. I just couldn't explain to him why my mother was there without telling him about the trailer home in Monkton and my mother running away. I told him about my uncle Fred just getting out of jail and my how my real father was dead. I even told him what had happened with Anthony and Erin back in Duncan. He didn't interrupt me once. He just sat back and listened to everything I had to say. It felt good to tell someone everything. The only person outside my family that knew everything was Rachel and I hadn't been able to talk with her much anymore.
"That is quite a story," the officer said leaning back in his chair. Officer Grimes had very shiny black hair and brown eyes. His nose was straight and he had a strong jaw. He was very good looking and he didn't look older than thirty. But I couldn't think about anyone but Derek. Officer Grimes' eyes were hazel now and he had blond hair.
"I need to get back to my daughter, I'd like to leave Toronto as soon as possible," I said.
He nodded in understanding.
He handed me his card and said, "You can call me anytime, here or at home, I wrote my home number on the back," he smiled.
I stared at him a moment and then fury bubbled up in my throat, "I'm not looking for a date, Officer Grimes," I said sharply.
He smile faded and he shook his head, "No, I wasn't-"
I cut him off before he could finish, "I'm not stupid, do I look stupid?" I said my voice getting louder.
"Now, just calm down and let me explain," he said, his face was turning red.
"I don't need you to explain! I can be a single mother! I CAN! But, I can't live without Derek," I said quietly.
Officer Grimes sat in silence staring at me sympathetically. I hated that sympathy. I was strong. I shouldn't be pitied.
"Don't look at me like that," I whispered and I turned and left the police station in tears. So much for my no more crying plan. I sat in my car in front of the station for what felt like hours. I thought I could do it, but I couldn't. I needed Derek, I couldn't raise Hope on my own. Tears streamed down my cheeks.
I started the car up and drove back to the hotel. I wiped away my tears so Tyler and Hope wouldn't see how out of control I was. They needed to know that I could handle things even if I didn't know I could.
They were both sleeping when I walked into the room. I looked at my sweet little daughter who had the perfect family before. Now her father was gone and she wasn't going to understand. I dreaded telling her that he wasn't coming back. Would she cry? Would she ignore what I said and still watch at the window for him everyday when he was supposed to be home?
You shouldn't look back. Too bad I didn't know that before.
The next day I took Hope to see Derek's parents. The police had notified them about his death. They deserved to see their granddaughter.
Derek had lived in a huge house near La Vie. I could see the top of La Vie's roof from Derek's driveway. I had been nervous about coming so close to it again but I swallowed my fears and came anyway.
Tyler refused to come with us. All he wanted to do was lay in bed or watch TV. Derek had been almost like a father to him and he didn't know what to do without him.
I knocked on the door of the big white brick house and waited. Hope was standing beside me, she was wearing a little navy blue dress with matching bows in her dark hair. She held tightly to a doll that
Derek had given her only two months ago for her birthday. She named the doll Kelly.
A woman probably in her sixties opened the door. She was wearing a plain, long, black dress. Her hair was stark white and she had it up in a bun at the back of her head.
"Skye," she said. She came forward and hugged me tightly. Derek had invited his parents to our wedding and they had come. He was close to this family and missed them a great deal, living so far away from them. But he didn't complain because he knew I wanted to live far away from La Vie. He had sacrificed so much for me and now he had made the ultimate sacrifice.
"Miranda," I said. I swallowed the tears that were threatening to explode on my cheeks. I wanted to look calm and composed, not like an out of control wreck.
"This is Hope, you granddaughter," I said.
"Little Hope," Miranda said kneeling down to Hope's eyes level, "She has Derek's eyes," she said.
"I know," I said, my voice cracking.
"Come in to the living room dear," Miranda said. We followed her into a large living room with beautiful leather furniture. I sat on a chair and Hope sat on my lap. She had been very quiet all day. I think she was starting to really wonder where her father was.
A man with gray hair and hazel eyes just like Derek's came into the room then. He had to same nose and chin as Derek. I wondered if that was what Derek would have looked like when he got old. I would never know.
"Vincent, this is Derek's daughter," Miranda said to her husband.
Vincent came closer and looked at Hope in wonder.
"Hope, these are your Grandparents," I told her. She squeezed Kelly closer.
"We have something for you," Miranda said. She picked up a photo album up off the table and handed it to me. It was covered in brown leather. I opened it on my lap so Hope could see. It was full of pictures of Derek growing up. He looked so cute in his little sailor suit on the sail boat his family owned. Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned the pages and watched him grow up. The pictures ended when he was about twenty. He had left home to search for me.
"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, unable to hold back my tears anymore.
"Oh dear, it's okay, he was a wonderful man, he wouldn't have wanted you to be sad, he would want you to go on with your life and raise your daughter the best way you know how," Miranda said coming to hug me.
"Mommy, don't cry, Daddy, will come back," Hope said quietly.
I looked at her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concern.
"No, he won't honey," I said to her. She had somehow convinced her that Derek was coming back, "Daddy is in Heaven now," I said to her.
She just stared at me in concern.
We left the Brookes house a little while later telling them that we'd be at the funeral tomorrow. They wanted to keep Derek's body in Toronto to bury in the family section of the graveyard. I had agreed half-heartedly. It didn't matter to me where he was buried, he's still be gone.
The funeral was packed full with people from Derek's father's work. I had called Rachel the night before and told her the bad news. I said she didn't have to come down, but she insisted. She arrived on the train an hour before the funeral.
We hugged and cried together. Tyler was with Hope waiting in the car. They both wore black and sad faces. Hope knew now that her father wasn't coming back.
"What am I going to do without him Rachel?" I asked through sobs.
"It'll be fine, you have lots of friends to help you," she said smiling a little.
Derek's parents chose beautiful white casket for his to be buried in. It was closed through the ceremony due to the injuries he had received from the fall.
I didn't cry until the first shovel of dirt was thrown into the hole where my beloved husband would be forever.
Rachel took Tyler and Hope back to the hotel to pack up all our things. She even went to La Vie for me to get Derek's suitcase. I sat beside the tombstone that Miranda had made for Derek. It read: "Derek Colin Brookes, Beloved, Husband, Son and Father, He will be dearly missed,"
I sat there just staring at the mound of fresh dirt. I tried not to think about Derek's body under the ground. I told myself he wasn't in there anymore. He was in Heaven, looking down on me.
"Skye?" a voice said from behind me. It sounded vaguely familiar.
I turned around and gasped in surprise.
It was Trevor.