Author: Jojo
E-mail: randomleaves@yahoo.co.uk
Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Rating: PG
Summary: No giggling.
Spoilers: Season 3
A/N: For Sandy, who doesn't like it when they giggle. Thanks to Emry, Mel and Sandy for beta-ing grooviness.
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She looked at her reflection, firmed her chin and stared herself in the eye. A finger raised, waggling warningly at herself.
What is your objective today, Samantha?
*Today, Captain, I will not giggle*
The finger punctuated each word of her objective.
You will not giggle?
*I will not giggle*
Again with the finger waggling.
Fantastic.
Now that it was decided, and agreed upon, she picked up her mascara for a little bit of subtle darkening at the tips of her eyelashes. Brunettes had it so easy.
She left the house thinking one thought and one thought only.
No giggling.
*What about when he does that funny, cute little smile? *
No. Absolutely no giggling.
*Oh, come on, you *like* the sarcasm.*
No. I don't. It produces a very unprofessional amount of giggling.
Sam sighed. That it did.
*
Uh-oh, she thought as she pulled her car into the parking lot. There he is.
Sam guessed she really should start the chanting now.
*Will not giggle, will not giggle, will not giggle*
"Hey, Carter."
"Morning, sir." She smiled.
Damn. A smile was so close to a grin. And a grin was.... perilously close to... that thing she wasn't going to do today.
He gave her a funny look, jingling his car keys as they walked over to the elevator doors. "Something up, Carter? Or are you just mentally solving astrophysics equations in your head?" He smiled.
Charmingly.
Uh-oh.
Smile... smile breaking into a grin... grin... grin. Ooh. Nice one. Safe at a grin. She even managed to dim it a little so she didn't appear to be completely goofy.
"No, sir. Nothing's wrong."
"You just look a little..." He waggled his fingers in front of her face before he reached over to press for sub-level eleven. "I don't know. Maybe it's just me."
She firmed her mouth into something a lot more professional. A nice, Captain-ish expression of respect and sobriety.
Perfect.
The Colonel gave her one last very strange look as they got out to change elevators, then they went to work.
*
The briefing was a tough one.
Every comment Daniel made, the Colonel had something funny to say about it, which exasperated Daniel and drove Hammond to giving his 2IC some very stern looks. Sam resorted to biting hard on the inside of her cheek which was making her eyes tear up. So not good. In addition to giving the Colonel his steely eye, he kept looking at Sam in concern.
Not good, not good.
"Captain, could I see you after the briefing?"
Damn.
"Yes, sir."
After the briefing, the General swept off, leaving Daniel to thwack the Colonel around the head with his file. "Will you *stop* ruining my briefings like that?"
"Your briefings?" The Colonel snorted defending himself half-heartedly. "Sorry, did I miss another memo? Are you suddenly General Jackson? I simply refuse to salute you..."
He appealed to Sam, wearing that cute little smile of his....
Sam's eyes widened as a bubble of.... "Gotta go see the General!" she gasped, running out of the briefing room hurriedly.
Outside in the corridor, she crashed into Lieutenant Simmons who looked like he wanted to crawl into the ground and die. Thankfully, reassuring him that she was okay seemed to distract her from her giggling, so she was ready to face the General in a suitably stern mood.
"Captain. Take a seat." The General gestured to one of the chairs in front of his desk. "How are you doing, Sam?"
Her eyebrows rose just a little. 'Sam?'. He only called her that when someone died, or was about to. "I'm fine, sir."
"I noticed you looked a little... off today in the briefing."
Crap.
"I did, sir? I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realise." She paused minutely. Too many 'sirs'? Ah, hell, you can never have too many 'sirs'. "Sir," she finished, triumphantly.
"You know you can always come to me if things get a little overwhelming."
Overwhelming?
Damn, this no giggling plan was really playing havoc with her reputation.
"I'm fine, sir. Really.... General." Hmm. You know, maybe she really ought to use a few more 'Generals' in her conversation. The 'sir' thing was getting over used.
"Well, good. How's your experimentation on the naquadah going?"
Thank goodness. Something she could talk about with complete seriousness.
*
The plan all along had been to slowly wear off on the giggling, then the grinning. She figured smiling was okay. But giggling and excessive grinning were no longer a sensible course of action with which to continue.
However, Sam was beginning to think her plan was unlikely.
She could probably draw a chart to show just how unlikely the overall success rate for the entire plan was going to be. Bolstered with catalyst-like enthusiasm for a new objective - no giggling - she would start off really well, then slowly, as the catalyst wore off, the giggling would creep back in and the graph would plunge until she was back to normal.
Giggling at every damn thing he said.
Why couldn't he have a terrible sense of humour?
Why couldn't he tell blonde jokes?
Hmm. Maybe she should teach him some. She'd certainly had plenty parroted to her the whole of her life.
But if he told blonde jokes, she'd have to kick his ass.
Which would be bad.
And wrong.
Bad and very wrong.
"Sam?"
She jumped nearly two feet into the air, spilling coffee over her work. She just about managed to avoid swearing and instead hurriedly flicked the file to get rid of the cold brown dregs of what had been her post-briefing coffee.
Daniel crept into the room. "Sam, are you all right? You've been acting so strangely all morning."
"I have not!" Okay, a little loud. "I mean, okay, maybe I have. Everyone seems to be noticing."
"I told a great knock knock joke this morning and you didn't even laugh."
"I didn't?"
And she always made an effort to laugh at Daniel's jokes, too. Because they were always terrible. Or archaeology related. The two were pretty much interchangeable.
"I'm sorry. You can tell it to me again, if you like."
"No, it's okay. Jack threatened to hunt me down if I told any more and I'm going to take him seriously this time."
Daniel seemed to lapse into a little Daniel-zone just then.
"Daniel?" she said sharply. "Something you wanted?"
"Oh yeah. Have you got the... ah, there it is." He grabbed a green folder from her desk and made off with it, calling over his shoulder, "Thanks."
Miserably, Sam pulled some paper towel out of her drawer and began mopping up her desk.
*
The end of the day couldn't have come sooner as far as Sam was concerned. Lunch had been hell. She'd concentrated so hard on her food she completely missed Teal'c's first attempt at sarcasm and she was extremely pissed off.
She kicked the elevator door moodily, ignoring the on guard SF's slightly pained expression as she did so.
"Evening, Carter. Going home nearly on time I see."
Oh for God's sake.
"Carter? Yoo-hoo." A hand appeared in front of her face and waved up and down. "You've been completely out of it today."
"Yes, sir," she muttered, staring at her boots. Where the hell was this damn elevator?
"I, ah, I mean, that is to say.... do you need to.... talk about it?"
She looked at him.
Hell, if that wasn't the funniest damn thing she'd ever seen in her entire life.
She'd never seen a guy look so pained.
What was that noise?
Oh wonderful.
*Now* she was giggling.
"Carter, that elevator, as far as I know, has done absolutely nothing to you...."
That was it. She was giggling all day tomorrow.