A/N: Hi folks. Sorry I haven't updated for so long. Feel guilty so no punishment please. Need a hug, England is depressing, but the fireworks are ok. The rain kinda messes it up though…

Anyway, have a good November 5th wherever you are! Though I don't know why we are celebrating a bunch of Catholics botched attempt at killing a King…

Luv Xodox

Chapter 7: In which we meet a bitch…

Hermione walked to the Great Hall, humming a tune softly, when she heard the familiar clacking of high heels.

It was a wobbly kind of clack, as if the shoes were far too high for the person wearing them. They could only belong to one person.

Colleen Bawn, also known as 'The Slut of Gryffindor Tower', 'The Tart' but mainly 'Lady Sleep-around', which Hermione thought was quite a creative name on the creator's part.

"So I said to Janet Davies, you know, that fat girl in Ravenclaw? Well anyway, I told her to maybe get a few diet tips from me sometime and she got all defensive and huffy on me and I was, like, 'Don't get heavy on me, babe, I'm trying to help. Besides, Jon Hardy will never notice her apart from when you're blocking the doorway!" There was a shrill laugh that erupted from her and her two obsessive fans, two innocent first years called Hayley Saint-Patrick and Louise Bennet.

Hermione shook her head disapprovingly and continued to walk on.

"Hermione! Wait up!" Her (and mine!) favourite redhead bounded up to her, ever so slightly pink in the ears and grinning at her. She was glad to see that Madame Pomfrey had replaced his tooth nicely and the gap had gone.

She smiled back and gestured for him to walk with her.

"Where's Harry?" she asked.

"Oh probably trying to find Ginny. But last time I saw him, he was cowering in an empty charms classroom…"

"Why?"

"Oh…no…no reason. No reason whatsoever, shall we go in?"

Ron offered her his arms and she accepted gratefully.

Trelawny was meditating in the middle of the floor, while a couple of simpering volunteers, Lavender and Pavarti, were spreading cushions around her and making sure her incense stick didn't set anything on fire.

Hermione was outraged.

"No desks?!? How can we work like this?!?"

"Ah, Miss Granger. I see you are well and with spirit today?"

"Of course I'm well, especially if you predicted that I wouldn't be."

Trelawny's once calm and musky tones were suddenly sharp and icy.

"I wouldn't cheek me, dear. You'll be with me for a long time now, whether you like it or not. Now get out your books and sit on a cushion."

Hermione sulkily wriggled on a red velvet cushion and Ron flumped on a tasselled blue one beside her.

"Tassles. Tassels for God's sake. The Grasshopper is mad, I swear."

Hermione giggled slightly and settled down with her Transfigurationn book while Ron simply rambled on about tassles and grasshoppers.