Part two: in which Ginny finally finishes her song, and Ron and Hermione
find out about a strange new obstetrician…
The music suddenly became very wild and jazz-like. Ginny leapt atop the tiny coffee table and started flailing her arms and legs around. For about ten minutes, magazines flew all over the waiting room hitting walls and covering the floor, while Ginny "danced" her way through the instrumental break. Harry and Draco looked at each other in horror. Ginny stopped jumping around, and got down and started break dancing. Then, jumped up, did a back flip off the table, landed and sang the final verse:
"Bertha! Bertha! B-E-R-T-H-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
After a long and confusing instrumental ending, including Ginny doing a complicated soft shoe on the hospital floor, her song finally ended. Ginny bowed. Harry and Draco clapped. A little. But mostly they were confused.
"So, do you think Ron and Hermione'll like it?" She asked. Harry and Draco nodded and put on fake smiles to make her feel better. Harry thought it looked like her limbs were on fire. Draco though that the baby should be named: Mackerel, The Magical Flying Monkey-Fish.
Back in the maternity ward:
"I hate you I hate you I hate you!" Hermione finished.
"Remember to breathe, hon." Ron reminded her. Hermione already had her legs in the stirrups. "Doctor, how much longer will she be in labor?" He asked the man busy peering into Hermione's… umm… baby area…
"It's hard to say at this point." He muttered standing up, and removing his mask. Hermione and Ron both recoiled. Hermione screamed.
"GET THAT MONSTER AWAY FROM MY BABY!" For the man delivering her baby was no other then the one, the only, the LORD VOLDEMORT! Hermione began panic. Ron grabbed one of the shiny, pointy things on the table next to Hermione's legs.
"No! No, it's not what you think!" Voldemort said.
"Oh, no you don't you evil, evil man! Don't you dare get near my wife!" Ron started to wave the instrument dangerously.
"No, you don't understand! I'm not evil anymore!"
"Oh, please! You're not fooling anyone! I'll beat'cher head in, you slimey scum-sucking gastropod! You're head will be hanging on top of my hearth except for the fact that I'm going to beat it in with this thingy here!"
"Wait! Please, let me explain! My whole life I've wanted to become an obstetrician. But then… I became evil." He wiped a tear from his eye. "So now that your friend, that potter boy, has taught me my final lesson, I decided to come back and reach my final goal in life! To bring new tiny lives into the world, instead of taking them out! And now I witness the beautiful miracle of life everyday! And I have found new power in the words of the good book. I carry a bible with me everywhere I go. I have really turned my life around, thanks to your friend. And you two." Voldemort's eyes shining with tears looked up, to witness both Ron and Hermione sobbing with him at his inspirational story.
"th-th-that's so sweet!" Ron sobbed. Suddenly Hermione started another contraction.
"aaaa! DRUGS!!! Give me drugs!"
"But Hermione, I thought we wanted to have a natural baby without magic, or any drugs."
"I DON'T CARE WHETER THIS BABY'S BORN WITH THREE EYES! GIVE ME MORPHINE!!!"
"Pettigrew, get Mrs.Weasley the anestisiologist." Voldemort called to the back room. A woman of slight build with honey brown hair came from the back room carrying a tray of live hamsters. Her head was at a strange tilt and her eyes were wide and crazy.
"Your HAMSTERS my lord." She crowed with a wild grin.
"Security! Here's another one!" Voldemort screamed. The same three men that Harry had seen carry away the first young woman carried this one out too. The woman kept hold of her tray of hamsters and the same expression on her face the whole time she was carried away, her eyes locked on Voldemort. "Sorry about that," Voldemort apologized. "The loony bin crashed a truck outside earlier today." Hermione and Ron nodded in understanding.
To be continued!!!
Stay tuned for vomit, giant cakes, and the actual birth! Will Ginny perform her dance for Ron and Hermione? A boy or a girl? And what is the strange gift Fred and George give Ron? Stick around!!!
The music suddenly became very wild and jazz-like. Ginny leapt atop the tiny coffee table and started flailing her arms and legs around. For about ten minutes, magazines flew all over the waiting room hitting walls and covering the floor, while Ginny "danced" her way through the instrumental break. Harry and Draco looked at each other in horror. Ginny stopped jumping around, and got down and started break dancing. Then, jumped up, did a back flip off the table, landed and sang the final verse:
"Bertha! Bertha! B-E-R-T-H-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"
After a long and confusing instrumental ending, including Ginny doing a complicated soft shoe on the hospital floor, her song finally ended. Ginny bowed. Harry and Draco clapped. A little. But mostly they were confused.
"So, do you think Ron and Hermione'll like it?" She asked. Harry and Draco nodded and put on fake smiles to make her feel better. Harry thought it looked like her limbs were on fire. Draco though that the baby should be named: Mackerel, The Magical Flying Monkey-Fish.
Back in the maternity ward:
"I hate you I hate you I hate you!" Hermione finished.
"Remember to breathe, hon." Ron reminded her. Hermione already had her legs in the stirrups. "Doctor, how much longer will she be in labor?" He asked the man busy peering into Hermione's… umm… baby area…
"It's hard to say at this point." He muttered standing up, and removing his mask. Hermione and Ron both recoiled. Hermione screamed.
"GET THAT MONSTER AWAY FROM MY BABY!" For the man delivering her baby was no other then the one, the only, the LORD VOLDEMORT! Hermione began panic. Ron grabbed one of the shiny, pointy things on the table next to Hermione's legs.
"No! No, it's not what you think!" Voldemort said.
"Oh, no you don't you evil, evil man! Don't you dare get near my wife!" Ron started to wave the instrument dangerously.
"No, you don't understand! I'm not evil anymore!"
"Oh, please! You're not fooling anyone! I'll beat'cher head in, you slimey scum-sucking gastropod! You're head will be hanging on top of my hearth except for the fact that I'm going to beat it in with this thingy here!"
"Wait! Please, let me explain! My whole life I've wanted to become an obstetrician. But then… I became evil." He wiped a tear from his eye. "So now that your friend, that potter boy, has taught me my final lesson, I decided to come back and reach my final goal in life! To bring new tiny lives into the world, instead of taking them out! And now I witness the beautiful miracle of life everyday! And I have found new power in the words of the good book. I carry a bible with me everywhere I go. I have really turned my life around, thanks to your friend. And you two." Voldemort's eyes shining with tears looked up, to witness both Ron and Hermione sobbing with him at his inspirational story.
"th-th-that's so sweet!" Ron sobbed. Suddenly Hermione started another contraction.
"aaaa! DRUGS!!! Give me drugs!"
"But Hermione, I thought we wanted to have a natural baby without magic, or any drugs."
"I DON'T CARE WHETER THIS BABY'S BORN WITH THREE EYES! GIVE ME MORPHINE!!!"
"Pettigrew, get Mrs.Weasley the anestisiologist." Voldemort called to the back room. A woman of slight build with honey brown hair came from the back room carrying a tray of live hamsters. Her head was at a strange tilt and her eyes were wide and crazy.
"Your HAMSTERS my lord." She crowed with a wild grin.
"Security! Here's another one!" Voldemort screamed. The same three men that Harry had seen carry away the first young woman carried this one out too. The woman kept hold of her tray of hamsters and the same expression on her face the whole time she was carried away, her eyes locked on Voldemort. "Sorry about that," Voldemort apologized. "The loony bin crashed a truck outside earlier today." Hermione and Ron nodded in understanding.
To be continued!!!
Stay tuned for vomit, giant cakes, and the actual birth! Will Ginny perform her dance for Ron and Hermione? A boy or a girl? And what is the strange gift Fred and George give Ron? Stick around!!!