Meanwhile:
Dumbledore sat down heavily in his chair. After more than fifty years as head master of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry, coming back to his office was always a joy at the end of the day. He grabbed a handful of lemon drops from the bowl on his desk and settled back with his paper. Fawkes the phoenix gave a loud squawk.
"Quiet, Fawkes." Dumbledore muttered offhandedly. Suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, Fawkes took off from his perch, took a crap on Dumbledore's head, and landed on top of a particularly tall bookcase. Dumbledore looked up and chuckled, his eyes twinkled merrily. What a silly bird. He sat back down again. Fawkes looked next to him. There was a giant bowling trophy with the words: "to Albus, the gutter ball king." just sitting there. He squawked. Dumbledore looked up.
"Fawkes, what are you doing?"
"Squawk!" (Translation: I never liked you anyways!) And he pushed it off the edge of the bookcase. It hit the "gutter ball king" square between the eyes.
In the waiting room:
Draco and Harry were staring at Ginny in confusion. Suddenly, a loud gurgle was heard. It sounded like Mount Vesuvius erupting in a giant bowl of pudding. Harry clutched his stomach. His mouth gaped open till he looked like a large carp with black hair, wearing round glasses. Ginny rushed to his side,
"Harry, what's wrong?" she screamed much louder than necessary. Three doctors pushing a gurney near them stopped and looked at her. "What are you looking at? Get on with your doctoring." They rushed onward while whispering among themselves and giving her dirty looks. Harry moaned and fell back onto the hard plastic chair. His head spun, and he could feel his stomach writhing.
"Get me a bucket." He called suddenly and covered his mouth.
"Haw haw! Harry's sick!" Malfoy taunted. He started poking him. "Not so hot now, are you potty? Not so hot-"
"Bleargh!" Harry interrupted.
"Eew! All over my new trousers! My father will not be pleased, satisfied, or thrilled." Ginny came back with a garbage pail.
"Leave him alone, Malfoy." She turned to Harry. "Harry, what's wrong?"
"Tuna… it was the… tuuuuna." Harry moaned into the garbage. It echoed. Like the graaaaaaand canyon! Then he gestured to the food machine. "Haw haw! Little Harry Larry can't even eat a tuna sandwich without getting sick!"
"Shut up Malfoy! At least he can be left alone without getting things stuck in his nose!" Draco recoiled. The remembral quivered in his nostril. All of a sudden, the emergency room doors burst open, surprising them all. Two doctors pushed a gurney in, holding an old man with a long white beard. He was sitting upright on the gurney, crossed legged, posing like he was the king of…um…something…important. Harry, Ginny and Draco all recognized him as their headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. He smiled and waved royally at the three as the doctors lead his wheeled carriage into their midst. The three doctors left.
"Dumbledore is that you?" Ginny asked.
"Ah, if only it were. Then I would know you. Yet I don't. And I wish I did. You look like a very nice potato. RUTABAGA, RUTABAGA, RUTABAGA! ALL HAIL THE KING OF SWEDEN!" Dumbledore hummed his very own national anthem and stood upright on the gurney. It wobbled, but the he didn't seem to notice. He also didn't notice that he was wearing a hospital gown. And that everyone below him could see everything they didn't want to. He placed one hand on Ginny's head and one on Draco's, placed both feet on Harry's head (bent over the garbage pail) and did a back flip over the gurney (revealing one pasty white headmaster derriere). He landed on two feet with both hands over his head. Draco, Ginny and Harry stared in disbelief. Out of the blue, Dumbledore let a huge fart. It lasted for about three minutes without stopping.
"Ahh… been holdin' that one in for ages!" he sighed and walked to one side of the gurney.
"Dumbledore, what happened to you?" Ginny asked. Without warning, Dumbledore yelled, leapt into the air, and karate kicked the gurney out the swinging doors into the hall. They heard screams, a crash and a cat yowl. He turned back to them.
"What on earth do you mean? I'm perfectly fine. BUT THE SOUP WAS FANTASIC!"
He grabbed Draco's head and started repeatedly smashing it into a wall. "WHAT DID YOU SAY IT WAS AGAIN? TURTLE? SMASHING, I MUST SAY!" once Draco's head was firmly embedded in the sheetrock, Dumbledore stopped. From inside the wall, Draco moaned. A cloud of dust was floating around the room from the hole Draco's head had opened in the wall. Dumbledore sat back in a chair and started reading a magazine. Ginny and Harry looked and him in shock. Dumbledore looked up from the ad on a cream for vaginal itch, flared his nostrils and screamed. It was the kind of scream you hear in really bad horror movie. It was high pitched and everyone within a twelve-mile radius grabs their ears and said:
"What the *$&!^#*$ was that?"
When he finally stopped. He grinned. He seemed pleased with himself. Ginny took her hands off her ears, gave Dumbledore a confused look and tried to pull Draco out of the wall. Harry vomited in the bucket some more. Dumbledore sat there in his hospital gown copy of Women's Life in his hand and grinned.
End of part three! Next comes… PART FOUR!!! What will happen to our fine heroes? What else will Dumbledore say before he comes back to normal? Will anything happen to Ginny? When will Ron and Hermione have the freakin' baby already? Stay tuned for, strippers, more craziness and the ACTUAL BIRTH!!!
Dumbledore sat down heavily in his chair. After more than fifty years as head master of Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry, coming back to his office was always a joy at the end of the day. He grabbed a handful of lemon drops from the bowl on his desk and settled back with his paper. Fawkes the phoenix gave a loud squawk.
"Quiet, Fawkes." Dumbledore muttered offhandedly. Suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, Fawkes took off from his perch, took a crap on Dumbledore's head, and landed on top of a particularly tall bookcase. Dumbledore looked up and chuckled, his eyes twinkled merrily. What a silly bird. He sat back down again. Fawkes looked next to him. There was a giant bowling trophy with the words: "to Albus, the gutter ball king." just sitting there. He squawked. Dumbledore looked up.
"Fawkes, what are you doing?"
"Squawk!" (Translation: I never liked you anyways!) And he pushed it off the edge of the bookcase. It hit the "gutter ball king" square between the eyes.
In the waiting room:
Draco and Harry were staring at Ginny in confusion. Suddenly, a loud gurgle was heard. It sounded like Mount Vesuvius erupting in a giant bowl of pudding. Harry clutched his stomach. His mouth gaped open till he looked like a large carp with black hair, wearing round glasses. Ginny rushed to his side,
"Harry, what's wrong?" she screamed much louder than necessary. Three doctors pushing a gurney near them stopped and looked at her. "What are you looking at? Get on with your doctoring." They rushed onward while whispering among themselves and giving her dirty looks. Harry moaned and fell back onto the hard plastic chair. His head spun, and he could feel his stomach writhing.
"Get me a bucket." He called suddenly and covered his mouth.
"Haw haw! Harry's sick!" Malfoy taunted. He started poking him. "Not so hot now, are you potty? Not so hot-"
"Bleargh!" Harry interrupted.
"Eew! All over my new trousers! My father will not be pleased, satisfied, or thrilled." Ginny came back with a garbage pail.
"Leave him alone, Malfoy." She turned to Harry. "Harry, what's wrong?"
"Tuna… it was the… tuuuuna." Harry moaned into the garbage. It echoed. Like the graaaaaaand canyon! Then he gestured to the food machine. "Haw haw! Little Harry Larry can't even eat a tuna sandwich without getting sick!"
"Shut up Malfoy! At least he can be left alone without getting things stuck in his nose!" Draco recoiled. The remembral quivered in his nostril. All of a sudden, the emergency room doors burst open, surprising them all. Two doctors pushed a gurney in, holding an old man with a long white beard. He was sitting upright on the gurney, crossed legged, posing like he was the king of…um…something…important. Harry, Ginny and Draco all recognized him as their headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. He smiled and waved royally at the three as the doctors lead his wheeled carriage into their midst. The three doctors left.
"Dumbledore is that you?" Ginny asked.
"Ah, if only it were. Then I would know you. Yet I don't. And I wish I did. You look like a very nice potato. RUTABAGA, RUTABAGA, RUTABAGA! ALL HAIL THE KING OF SWEDEN!" Dumbledore hummed his very own national anthem and stood upright on the gurney. It wobbled, but the he didn't seem to notice. He also didn't notice that he was wearing a hospital gown. And that everyone below him could see everything they didn't want to. He placed one hand on Ginny's head and one on Draco's, placed both feet on Harry's head (bent over the garbage pail) and did a back flip over the gurney (revealing one pasty white headmaster derriere). He landed on two feet with both hands over his head. Draco, Ginny and Harry stared in disbelief. Out of the blue, Dumbledore let a huge fart. It lasted for about three minutes without stopping.
"Ahh… been holdin' that one in for ages!" he sighed and walked to one side of the gurney.
"Dumbledore, what happened to you?" Ginny asked. Without warning, Dumbledore yelled, leapt into the air, and karate kicked the gurney out the swinging doors into the hall. They heard screams, a crash and a cat yowl. He turned back to them.
"What on earth do you mean? I'm perfectly fine. BUT THE SOUP WAS FANTASIC!"
He grabbed Draco's head and started repeatedly smashing it into a wall. "WHAT DID YOU SAY IT WAS AGAIN? TURTLE? SMASHING, I MUST SAY!" once Draco's head was firmly embedded in the sheetrock, Dumbledore stopped. From inside the wall, Draco moaned. A cloud of dust was floating around the room from the hole Draco's head had opened in the wall. Dumbledore sat back in a chair and started reading a magazine. Ginny and Harry looked and him in shock. Dumbledore looked up from the ad on a cream for vaginal itch, flared his nostrils and screamed. It was the kind of scream you hear in really bad horror movie. It was high pitched and everyone within a twelve-mile radius grabs their ears and said:
"What the *$&!^#*$ was that?"
When he finally stopped. He grinned. He seemed pleased with himself. Ginny took her hands off her ears, gave Dumbledore a confused look and tried to pull Draco out of the wall. Harry vomited in the bucket some more. Dumbledore sat there in his hospital gown copy of Women's Life in his hand and grinned.
End of part three! Next comes… PART FOUR!!! What will happen to our fine heroes? What else will Dumbledore say before he comes back to normal? Will anything happen to Ginny? When will Ron and Hermione have the freakin' baby already? Stay tuned for, strippers, more craziness and the ACTUAL BIRTH!!!