The waiting room from HELL!!!!!! pt.IV Where Dumbledore gets taken away.

The group was interrupted from an awkward silence when the waiting room doors burst open and there stood a pack of doctors. At the front was the most attractive man in the world (according to him, his fan club and, at the moment, Ginny). His wavy brown hair was slicked back in dark oily waves and his perfect fake tan and amber eyes were complimented by a pair of designer glasses, matching an armani suit($300. www.armani.com/trashysuit ), Prada Stethoscope ($79.95 www.Prada.com/doctorsgear), and Gucci doctor's scrubs ($250 on clearance Gucci warehouse).

The troop of outfitted, attractive men holding clipboards and the like, strutted in and froze in creative poses about the room. The most attractive (and best dressed) one of the bunch broke from his squatted "thinker" pose to say in a deep practised voice:

"I am Dr.Rollins. These are my nurses. We're here to see mr..." He looked down at his clipboard. "Mr.Dum... dumblee... dumbleedorkus." He swiveled his head to fix his gaze upon Ginny, who giggled and turned red. "Would that be you, pretty lady?"

"No, it's Dumbledore. Professor Dumbledore." Harry said. "He's over here." Harry indicated professor Dumbledore who was preoccupied with sucking his toes. Standing next to Dumbledore was Malfoy sending obviously jealous dirty looks towards one of the masculine nurses posing near him without a shirt. Like store mannequins or well trained circus dogs, none of the models moved and inch.

"ah, I see." said the attractive "Dr".Rollins. He strutted towards the toe-sucking man who tried to hide behind one of the plastic hospital chairs. Dr.Rollins put his hand out and spoke as if he were speaking to someone either very very slow, or foreign:

"do - not - be - afraid." long pause. "I - am - here - to - help."

"What's wrong with this guy, he foreign or something?" asked Dumbledore to Harry. Harry shrugged and vomited in the bucket some more.

Without a blink Dr.Rollins went on. "Ah, patient seems to be responding well to therapy." and he scribbled something on his clipboard. "Now it says here that you have suffered a severe..." He paused here to straighten up and remove his glasses dramatically. They had no glass in them. "a severe blow to the head. A concussionism. And also have a case of... an... an-mee... an-me-see-ah?"

"Amnesia?" Harry offered.

"Whatever. And you're suffering from de...de-loo... You think you are someone else. And you could have a concussiony thingy. You need psychologicabblee help and maybe some strong antibiotics and a lobotomation."

Dumbledore dropped his foot to answer "But I feel fine."

"um... you do?"

"why, yes. Just perfect."

"Well..." Dr.Rollins seemed to consider this, then shook his head. "No, you're very sick. You need help. And I-" He raised his voice as if coming upon a genius idea for the first time. "I, am the doctor. And I must help you."

"No, I really don't think so."

"Yes. Actually... Just let me help you-"

"No. I'm just fine. Just jolly fine good."

Dr.Rollins turned to Harry. "He IS sick, right?" Harry nodded. Dr.Rollins continued "But it says here that you need help, you might have a concussionism."

"No, I really don't think so."

"But it says so on my clipboard! I-"

"THE LOBSTER-MAN IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!!!" Dumbledore screamed and rocked back and forth where he sat. Dr.Rollins stepped back.

"It's worse than I thought! We must operate immediately!" And he scribbled something on his clipboard. Harry looked over his shoulder and saw that he was actually scribbling all over a page of typed print.

"Are you a real doctor?" Harry asked suspiciously. "Dr."Rollins (whose real name was Melvin Humperdink) straightened up quickly avoiding Harry's eyes.

"Get this patient prepped for sugery!" he demanded his scantily clad nurses. They all broke their poses and started to preform a synchronized dance involving the removal of several articles of clothing. "No you fools! Grab that man!" They stopped (to the disappointment of Ginny... and Draco, but he would never admit it.) and grabbed Dumbledore from under the plastic chairs. They dragged him kicking and screaming ("The British are coming! The British are coming! DAMN NAZIS!!!") to the center of the room.

"You can't do this!" Harry protested. He stood up but got dizzy and sat back down. "You're not a real doctor! You have no right to saw his head open!"

(Dumbledore: "WHAT? Those crazy chinese torture methods.")

"Of course I can, little man." Dr.Rollins (Melvin Humperdink) spat at Harry. "I'M attractive. Let's go, boys." And in (pretend) slow motion they all strutted out. You could see many a man-thong riding up a masculine behind.

"It's okay, Harry. I'll bet anything that even if he doesn't squeal at the sight of blood, Dumbledore would never let them get near him." said Ginny comfortingly.

"Let's just hope they don't bribe him with Happy Puffs." Draco sneered in a nasal tone. (He had stolen a palm organizer from one of the models and stuffed that in his other nostril.)

"Shut up Malfoy."


Stay tuned for Part V!!! (or five for you noneducated ones) what happens to our fine heroes? where does dr.rollins take dumbledore? WHEN WILL THIS CHILD BE BORN ALREADY!!!! WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER TO WRITE DISTURBING STORIES LIKE THIS??? The answers to all these questions and more coming to a computer screen near you!!!