Lily sat on the stairs listening to Derrick and Moira. "Why couldn't
you do it Derrick? Do you know? Or was it just one of those things?"
"I knew why. I knew they were counting on me, Moira. And I knew they needed me there, but I couldn't do it. They weren't talking at all. And, my mum, she had, pictures, of him, everywhere. And his toys, but my dad, wouldn't look. He wouldn't look at them. He pretended like they weren't there."
"Say his name Derrick." Moira said softly. "Say his name, trust me."
Derrick looked up at Moira. "Toby." He whispered.
Moira sighed and looked at him. "Oh Derrick. You have to go see them. I know it's hard, I know it more than anyone, but you have to do it. Brace yourself and go in there."
Derrick took a deep breath and looked at Moira. "I can't." He said, releasing it. "I don't know how."
Moira nodded. "Where is he buried?"
"What?"
"Toby. Where is he buried?"
"Uh, St Gregory's cathedral cemetery. In York. Why?"
"Fancy a trip to York?" Moira said.
Lily watched as they disappeared, and then turned and went back to Anna's bedroom. She stayed up in the dark for what seemed like hours, but was probably not even one, until Moira slipped back into the room. "Hey Moira," she whispered. "Where were you?"
"Just went for a walk." Lily said nothing, propping her head up on her hand, she looked at Moira in silence. "What? What is it?"
"Where did you walk to?"
"Just...around."
"Oh? With who?"
"Um, by myself."
"Good thing you're a better witch than you are liar, Mo."
Moira sighed. "I was with Derrick. We went to a cemetery in York to visit his brothers grave so that he can look his parents in the eye again. Happy?"
"I didn't-I had no-Oh my god Moira, I'm so sorry. I just thought-"
"Oh Lisabeth, you didn't know, it's just, one of those things."
Lily nodded. She didn't correct Moira's slight on her name and she rolled over onto her back, but she did not fall asleep for a long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~`
"Wake up! Wake up!"
"Why?" Anna mumbled, rolling over.
"Come on! Let's go! Hurry up you guys!"
"Fuffoff."
Finally Moira sat up in her sleeping bag and looked at Caroline. "Where do you want us to go?"
"Over to Lily's."
"Jesus," Lily said, after she had roused herself and got dressed. "You're as bad as your dad."
Lily, Caroline and Moira stood in a semi-circle around Anna. "Do you think she'll get up?"
"Not a chance."
"Should we kick her?"
"Do you reckon you could stand a broken foot?"
The three of them stood there for a few minutes longer and then shrugged. "She knows where to find us."
They walked through the streets of the Old City, turning their faces up into the sky, catching snowflakes on their tongues and tossing their bodies into snow drifts. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a mother." Moira said. "A mother like your grandma, Caroline, with more than half a dozen kids, and a husband who works. I want children to say, "Hey, instead of running away and living on our own, we should go live with Mrs Longbottom, or whatever my last name is by then. I want my children to know I love them so much that they take it for granted, and I want their friends, not to envy them, but to come to me for help. That's what I want to be when I grow up. What about you guys?"
Caroline and Lily looked at Moira, surprised, and then back at each other. "Well," Caroline started. "I guess, I'd really like to be a medi- witch. That's what my dad wants me to be, so I guess that's what I'll do. Lily?"
"I don't know. I mean, I don't have to work if I don't want to, not if I intend to stay here. I guess I'll just figure it out when I get there. You know?"
"I guess so. But what are you going to do if you do't work?"
"Travel. All around the world, to France and Spain, and Mongolia and Japan. Places thick with culture. Sweden too." She added.
"Do you think about Kris a lot?" Caroline asked.
"No. Almost never." Lily said too quickly. The truth was she thought about him all the time. He was constantly there, something in the back of her mind, wondering, what if? What if he hadn't died, what if they had grown up, gone out, got married even. What if he'd had a succesful career and Marit had just been his sister, a go-between. She sighed. "Yeah, sometimes."
"I think about Apacia sometimes, too." Caroline said. "She was so young. No one that young deserves to die. Not like that."
"I worry, sometimes, about Draco. She was all he had. Do you ever do that? Worry about other people I mean?"
"All the time. I worry about everything though. I guess I'm just that kind of person. I want to be worrying about people." Moira said.
"Worry about my dad. He spent two and a half days queued up in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies, waiting for the FeatherFlame 4000 to come out last week."
"I knew why. I knew they were counting on me, Moira. And I knew they needed me there, but I couldn't do it. They weren't talking at all. And, my mum, she had, pictures, of him, everywhere. And his toys, but my dad, wouldn't look. He wouldn't look at them. He pretended like they weren't there."
"Say his name Derrick." Moira said softly. "Say his name, trust me."
Derrick looked up at Moira. "Toby." He whispered.
Moira sighed and looked at him. "Oh Derrick. You have to go see them. I know it's hard, I know it more than anyone, but you have to do it. Brace yourself and go in there."
Derrick took a deep breath and looked at Moira. "I can't." He said, releasing it. "I don't know how."
Moira nodded. "Where is he buried?"
"What?"
"Toby. Where is he buried?"
"Uh, St Gregory's cathedral cemetery. In York. Why?"
"Fancy a trip to York?" Moira said.
Lily watched as they disappeared, and then turned and went back to Anna's bedroom. She stayed up in the dark for what seemed like hours, but was probably not even one, until Moira slipped back into the room. "Hey Moira," she whispered. "Where were you?"
"Just went for a walk." Lily said nothing, propping her head up on her hand, she looked at Moira in silence. "What? What is it?"
"Where did you walk to?"
"Just...around."
"Oh? With who?"
"Um, by myself."
"Good thing you're a better witch than you are liar, Mo."
Moira sighed. "I was with Derrick. We went to a cemetery in York to visit his brothers grave so that he can look his parents in the eye again. Happy?"
"I didn't-I had no-Oh my god Moira, I'm so sorry. I just thought-"
"Oh Lisabeth, you didn't know, it's just, one of those things."
Lily nodded. She didn't correct Moira's slight on her name and she rolled over onto her back, but she did not fall asleep for a long time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~`
"Wake up! Wake up!"
"Why?" Anna mumbled, rolling over.
"Come on! Let's go! Hurry up you guys!"
"Fuffoff."
Finally Moira sat up in her sleeping bag and looked at Caroline. "Where do you want us to go?"
"Over to Lily's."
"Jesus," Lily said, after she had roused herself and got dressed. "You're as bad as your dad."
Lily, Caroline and Moira stood in a semi-circle around Anna. "Do you think she'll get up?"
"Not a chance."
"Should we kick her?"
"Do you reckon you could stand a broken foot?"
The three of them stood there for a few minutes longer and then shrugged. "She knows where to find us."
They walked through the streets of the Old City, turning their faces up into the sky, catching snowflakes on their tongues and tossing their bodies into snow drifts. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"I want to be a mother." Moira said. "A mother like your grandma, Caroline, with more than half a dozen kids, and a husband who works. I want children to say, "Hey, instead of running away and living on our own, we should go live with Mrs Longbottom, or whatever my last name is by then. I want my children to know I love them so much that they take it for granted, and I want their friends, not to envy them, but to come to me for help. That's what I want to be when I grow up. What about you guys?"
Caroline and Lily looked at Moira, surprised, and then back at each other. "Well," Caroline started. "I guess, I'd really like to be a medi- witch. That's what my dad wants me to be, so I guess that's what I'll do. Lily?"
"I don't know. I mean, I don't have to work if I don't want to, not if I intend to stay here. I guess I'll just figure it out when I get there. You know?"
"I guess so. But what are you going to do if you do't work?"
"Travel. All around the world, to France and Spain, and Mongolia and Japan. Places thick with culture. Sweden too." She added.
"Do you think about Kris a lot?" Caroline asked.
"No. Almost never." Lily said too quickly. The truth was she thought about him all the time. He was constantly there, something in the back of her mind, wondering, what if? What if he hadn't died, what if they had grown up, gone out, got married even. What if he'd had a succesful career and Marit had just been his sister, a go-between. She sighed. "Yeah, sometimes."
"I think about Apacia sometimes, too." Caroline said. "She was so young. No one that young deserves to die. Not like that."
"I worry, sometimes, about Draco. She was all he had. Do you ever do that? Worry about other people I mean?"
"All the time. I worry about everything though. I guess I'm just that kind of person. I want to be worrying about people." Moira said.
"Worry about my dad. He spent two and a half days queued up in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies, waiting for the FeatherFlame 4000 to come out last week."