"I think now we need to get Draco a girlfriend."
"That's alright. I can handle it myself." Draco said.
"Like you've been handling it for the past thirty years? Two girlfriends Draco. I've had three wives in the time it's taken you to get two girlfriends. And one of them cheated on you and the other one has a daughter almost the same age as you."
"I don't want a girlfriend." Draco said meekly.
"Yes you do. You need a girlfriend. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of Hannah Abbott." Hermione said.
"No. Not Hannah. She's overwhelming and stuff. Please not Hannah."
"What about Sayuri Nittimyuk?"
"She doesn't speak English. And she picks her teeth with a knife. Her manners are absolutely appaling."
"And you hardly speak at all."
"Shut up."
"Well come on Draco. We need to find you someone. Anyone."
"What about Fleur Delacour? Do you remember her?"
"She was Bill's girlfriend for like a year and a half." Ron said.
"Your brother?"
"Yeah!"
"Well that puts her out. I don't want to get into any family business. Guess that means I stay single. Too bad."
"Not so fast Malfoy. Why don't you give any suggestions?"
"Because I don't like anybody." Draco mumbled, sounding very much like a boy being teased by his friends.
"But you must! You are the most eligible bachelor in Britain-"
"Hey!"
"Sorry Seamus. But Draco needs a girlfriend."
"What about Alicia Spinnet? She's only a couple years older than you."
"Isn't she married?"
"No. She's a hit-witch."
"A hit-witch? Can you see Draco with a hit-witch? He would shake so bad he'd fall out of his shoes."
"But she has really good manners." Seamus said, grinning wickedly. "And she's very smart. I don't know Malfoy, what do you think? Alicia Spinnet?"
"I don't even know her." Draco mumbled from behind his copy of the post.
"Well duh! That's the point of dating. To get to know someone-"
"And get laid." Seamus added.
"Well, less traditionally." Ron said.
"Och yeah, only in the past 1500 years have people started to date purely to sleep around."
Draco rolled his eyes and folded up the newspaper. "If I talk to Alicia will you guys lay off?"
"Probably not." Hermione admitted. "But it'll be a start."
He sighed. "So how do I go about paying a personal call to a hit- witch?"
"That's alright. I can handle it myself." Draco said.
"Like you've been handling it for the past thirty years? Two girlfriends Draco. I've had three wives in the time it's taken you to get two girlfriends. And one of them cheated on you and the other one has a daughter almost the same age as you."
"I don't want a girlfriend." Draco said meekly.
"Yes you do. You need a girlfriend. I was thinking somewhere along the lines of Hannah Abbott." Hermione said.
"No. Not Hannah. She's overwhelming and stuff. Please not Hannah."
"What about Sayuri Nittimyuk?"
"She doesn't speak English. And she picks her teeth with a knife. Her manners are absolutely appaling."
"And you hardly speak at all."
"Shut up."
"Well come on Draco. We need to find you someone. Anyone."
"What about Fleur Delacour? Do you remember her?"
"She was Bill's girlfriend for like a year and a half." Ron said.
"Your brother?"
"Yeah!"
"Well that puts her out. I don't want to get into any family business. Guess that means I stay single. Too bad."
"Not so fast Malfoy. Why don't you give any suggestions?"
"Because I don't like anybody." Draco mumbled, sounding very much like a boy being teased by his friends.
"But you must! You are the most eligible bachelor in Britain-"
"Hey!"
"Sorry Seamus. But Draco needs a girlfriend."
"What about Alicia Spinnet? She's only a couple years older than you."
"Isn't she married?"
"No. She's a hit-witch."
"A hit-witch? Can you see Draco with a hit-witch? He would shake so bad he'd fall out of his shoes."
"But she has really good manners." Seamus said, grinning wickedly. "And she's very smart. I don't know Malfoy, what do you think? Alicia Spinnet?"
"I don't even know her." Draco mumbled from behind his copy of the post.
"Well duh! That's the point of dating. To get to know someone-"
"And get laid." Seamus added.
"Well, less traditionally." Ron said.
"Och yeah, only in the past 1500 years have people started to date purely to sleep around."
Draco rolled his eyes and folded up the newspaper. "If I talk to Alicia will you guys lay off?"
"Probably not." Hermione admitted. "But it'll be a start."
He sighed. "So how do I go about paying a personal call to a hit- witch?"