Chapter 2
Eric rode the elevator back up to the apartment, only to find the tie still on the door. He slinked back into the elevator, feeling a little sullen, but hopeful that he'd found the answer he'd been looking for all this time.
Eric found a pay phone in the lobby and called Cory. "Hey my little brutha, whatchya up to?"
"Hey, Eric! Topanga and I were just getting ready to pop in a movie."
"Do you think... I dunno, that maybe I could stop by for a few, I'd like to talk to you both about somethin" Eric asked a little pleadingly.
"Sure, c'mon over, and bring something with sugar in it," Cory included. Eric heard Topanga reprimanding Cory for having asked for sweets.
"You got it, powdered doughnut gems it is," Eric laughed.
About 30 minutes later, Eric was knocking on their door with 2 boxes of doughnuts and a gallon of chocolate milk. A Matthews movie tradition that no fat-obsessed wife was going to break.
"Come in," Cory said as he ushered his big brother inside the apartment.
"Hi, Eric," Topanga eyed him suspiciously. "Doughnuts and chocolate milk, huh?"
"Yeah, why fight it, it's who we are, right?" Eric looked to Cory for reinforcement.
"That's right. You can't change a Matthews," Cory bit into a doughnut, dusting the corners of his mouth with snow-white confection.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Topanga slid over to the end of the couch and tucked her legs under her to make room for her husband and brother-in-law.
"Well, it's like this. I'm going to talk to Jack tomorrow and finally get this off my chest," Eric shoved a whole doughnut in his mouth. Cory started pouring the chocolate milk into glasses. Topanga looked a little puzzled and scooted closer to Eric. "Talk about what?"
"Mmmph um eem muuuph weemph mmmph." A couple of bursts of powdered doughnut flew into Topanga's face, which she quickly fanned away.
Cory laughed as he put the rest of the chocolate milk away and picked up two full cups, heading toward the couches.
Topanga folded her hands neatly in her lap and said almost impatiently, "How about you try that again."
Eric swallowed hard. "I said, I'm going to tell him I'm in love with him."
Cory dropped both cups and stared at Eric with disgust and shock. Topanga's mouth dropped wide open and her eyes grew large. Eric stopped chewing and looked at the both of them, "You can't be serious. This is how you're going to react?"
Cory and Topanga both looked at each other with grave concern on each others faces then looked back at Eric.
"When did this little dysfunction surface? Are you crazy, Eric?" Cory looked at him incredulously. "This has to be some kind of joke, right Eric? Please tell me this is some twisted joke," Topanga's eyes filled with tears as she spoke.
Eric stood up and his expression instantly changed from astonishment into ire. "If I'd had ANY idea the two of you would've reacted like this, I wouldn't have wasted my time."
Cory took a step towards Eric, "Well what did you want us to say? 'Hey, Eric, thanks for coming out to us?' Give us a break. You know that it's wrong. Besides, Jack is straight and with Rachel no less."
"Wrong? How can it be wrong? They're the only feelings I've ever known?"
"Now that's not true," Topanga piped up trying to rejoin the conversation with some strength and maturity in her voice, a tear running down one cheek. "You've been dating girls your entire life up until now."
"That's just it, I'm tired of pretending to date girls, I don't WANT to date girls, and I've NEVER wanted to date girls. Now that I've finally fallen in love… really fallen in love, I don't want to date anyone but Jack." Eric's face began to contort as his disappointment continued to emerge.
Cory gave a visible shudder and bent down to scoop up the two side-turned glasses on the floor, "Well that's just sick, Eric. You've convinced yourself that your gay and we're supposed to throw you some 'coming out of the closet' party?"
Eric's eyes welled up with tears, "No, that's not what I wanted… what I had hoped for was some support or at least a 'we hope everything works out for you, Eric', but I can see that was too much to ask… have a great night." Eric bolted for the door and slammed it closed behind him. Cory threw the two cups into the sink, leaning against it. He looked back at Topanga who was still crying on the couch.
"I had no idea that Eric felt that way, what are we going to do? Do we tell your parents? Do we get him some therapy?" Topanga wiped her smeared mascara away from her eyes as Cory walked over to the couch to comfort his wife, "I don't know, but we can't support this, Eric knows better than that."
A few hours later, Eric exited the elevator, shuffling his feet across the floor to the door of his apartment. As he reached for the knob, he noticed that the tie was gone. He walked into the dark apartment and stumbled through the living room and into the bedroom. He could here Jack lightly snoring and began to cry. He couldn't help but think how sexy it was that Jack snored like that. He wanted to crawl into bed with him and snuggle up to him, listening, feeling him sleeping. He wiped the tears from his eyes, standing there in the dark, wondering how he could have been so wrong about trusting Cory and Topanga.
"Why does this hurt me so deeply? What is the purpose of these feelings if it's so wrong? I don't come from a broken home; I've never been abused, so why would I be different than Cory, than Shawn, than Jack? Why do I have to love Jack so much?" The questions in his mind overwhelmed and drained him. Now he wanted to sleep. He wanted to escape this harsh reality, this uncaring and heartless consciousness of unkindness and pain. Yes, he would sleep now. He would talk to Jack in the morning. Yeah, in the morning.
Eric woke in the morning with a start. Without opening his eyes, he became acutely aware that someone was lying in the bed next to him. He slowly rolled over and came face to face with Jack. He smiled at Eric, reaching up with a warm hand to caress Eric's face. Eric's eyes filled with tears, "What's happening here?"
"I had a little chat with Topanga last night, seems you've been keeping a secret." Jack traced the outline of Eric's lips as he spoke.
"…and you… I don't understa…" Eric was unable to finish his sentence when Jack sat up and leaned over to gently kiss him. They stayed embraced for what seemed an eternity and Eric thought that he'd died and gone to heaven. When Jack finally pulled away, Eric opened his eyes and reached out to pull Jack closer to him, whispering, "I love you, Jack, with all my heart. I've been in love with you since the first time we met. All I've ever wanted to do is make you happy; I just wanted to make you hap…"
"Shhhhh… it's alright now. You don't have to say another word." Jack leaned over and gave Eric another passionate, long-lasting kiss that shook Eric to his very soul, leaving him trembling.
"Eric!"
"ERIC!" Jack yelled.
Eric stirred and rolled off of the bed and fell on the floor, startled.
"Eric, you have class in twenty minutes, man! Get up!" Jack was already dressed and about to head out the door before he himself was late.
Eric jumped up and grabbed some clothes before jumping into the shower. "What a DREAM I was having!" he yelled from the bathroom.
"What? What dream?" Jack yelled back as he was stuffing the last of his books into his backpack.
"I'll tell you everything later, don't let me forget, k?"
Distracted and a little rushed, Jack replied, "Yeah, sure. Later."
Eric finished dressing, sporting the largest grin he ever had the pleasure of wearing.
Eric rode the elevator back up to the apartment, only to find the tie still on the door. He slinked back into the elevator, feeling a little sullen, but hopeful that he'd found the answer he'd been looking for all this time.
Eric found a pay phone in the lobby and called Cory. "Hey my little brutha, whatchya up to?"
"Hey, Eric! Topanga and I were just getting ready to pop in a movie."
"Do you think... I dunno, that maybe I could stop by for a few, I'd like to talk to you both about somethin" Eric asked a little pleadingly.
"Sure, c'mon over, and bring something with sugar in it," Cory included. Eric heard Topanga reprimanding Cory for having asked for sweets.
"You got it, powdered doughnut gems it is," Eric laughed.
About 30 minutes later, Eric was knocking on their door with 2 boxes of doughnuts and a gallon of chocolate milk. A Matthews movie tradition that no fat-obsessed wife was going to break.
"Come in," Cory said as he ushered his big brother inside the apartment.
"Hi, Eric," Topanga eyed him suspiciously. "Doughnuts and chocolate milk, huh?"
"Yeah, why fight it, it's who we are, right?" Eric looked to Cory for reinforcement.
"That's right. You can't change a Matthews," Cory bit into a doughnut, dusting the corners of his mouth with snow-white confection.
"So what did you want to talk about?" Topanga slid over to the end of the couch and tucked her legs under her to make room for her husband and brother-in-law.
"Well, it's like this. I'm going to talk to Jack tomorrow and finally get this off my chest," Eric shoved a whole doughnut in his mouth. Cory started pouring the chocolate milk into glasses. Topanga looked a little puzzled and scooted closer to Eric. "Talk about what?"
"Mmmph um eem muuuph weemph mmmph." A couple of bursts of powdered doughnut flew into Topanga's face, which she quickly fanned away.
Cory laughed as he put the rest of the chocolate milk away and picked up two full cups, heading toward the couches.
Topanga folded her hands neatly in her lap and said almost impatiently, "How about you try that again."
Eric swallowed hard. "I said, I'm going to tell him I'm in love with him."
Cory dropped both cups and stared at Eric with disgust and shock. Topanga's mouth dropped wide open and her eyes grew large. Eric stopped chewing and looked at the both of them, "You can't be serious. This is how you're going to react?"
Cory and Topanga both looked at each other with grave concern on each others faces then looked back at Eric.
"When did this little dysfunction surface? Are you crazy, Eric?" Cory looked at him incredulously. "This has to be some kind of joke, right Eric? Please tell me this is some twisted joke," Topanga's eyes filled with tears as she spoke.
Eric stood up and his expression instantly changed from astonishment into ire. "If I'd had ANY idea the two of you would've reacted like this, I wouldn't have wasted my time."
Cory took a step towards Eric, "Well what did you want us to say? 'Hey, Eric, thanks for coming out to us?' Give us a break. You know that it's wrong. Besides, Jack is straight and with Rachel no less."
"Wrong? How can it be wrong? They're the only feelings I've ever known?"
"Now that's not true," Topanga piped up trying to rejoin the conversation with some strength and maturity in her voice, a tear running down one cheek. "You've been dating girls your entire life up until now."
"That's just it, I'm tired of pretending to date girls, I don't WANT to date girls, and I've NEVER wanted to date girls. Now that I've finally fallen in love… really fallen in love, I don't want to date anyone but Jack." Eric's face began to contort as his disappointment continued to emerge.
Cory gave a visible shudder and bent down to scoop up the two side-turned glasses on the floor, "Well that's just sick, Eric. You've convinced yourself that your gay and we're supposed to throw you some 'coming out of the closet' party?"
Eric's eyes welled up with tears, "No, that's not what I wanted… what I had hoped for was some support or at least a 'we hope everything works out for you, Eric', but I can see that was too much to ask… have a great night." Eric bolted for the door and slammed it closed behind him. Cory threw the two cups into the sink, leaning against it. He looked back at Topanga who was still crying on the couch.
"I had no idea that Eric felt that way, what are we going to do? Do we tell your parents? Do we get him some therapy?" Topanga wiped her smeared mascara away from her eyes as Cory walked over to the couch to comfort his wife, "I don't know, but we can't support this, Eric knows better than that."
A few hours later, Eric exited the elevator, shuffling his feet across the floor to the door of his apartment. As he reached for the knob, he noticed that the tie was gone. He walked into the dark apartment and stumbled through the living room and into the bedroom. He could here Jack lightly snoring and began to cry. He couldn't help but think how sexy it was that Jack snored like that. He wanted to crawl into bed with him and snuggle up to him, listening, feeling him sleeping. He wiped the tears from his eyes, standing there in the dark, wondering how he could have been so wrong about trusting Cory and Topanga.
"Why does this hurt me so deeply? What is the purpose of these feelings if it's so wrong? I don't come from a broken home; I've never been abused, so why would I be different than Cory, than Shawn, than Jack? Why do I have to love Jack so much?" The questions in his mind overwhelmed and drained him. Now he wanted to sleep. He wanted to escape this harsh reality, this uncaring and heartless consciousness of unkindness and pain. Yes, he would sleep now. He would talk to Jack in the morning. Yeah, in the morning.
Eric woke in the morning with a start. Without opening his eyes, he became acutely aware that someone was lying in the bed next to him. He slowly rolled over and came face to face with Jack. He smiled at Eric, reaching up with a warm hand to caress Eric's face. Eric's eyes filled with tears, "What's happening here?"
"I had a little chat with Topanga last night, seems you've been keeping a secret." Jack traced the outline of Eric's lips as he spoke.
"…and you… I don't understa…" Eric was unable to finish his sentence when Jack sat up and leaned over to gently kiss him. They stayed embraced for what seemed an eternity and Eric thought that he'd died and gone to heaven. When Jack finally pulled away, Eric opened his eyes and reached out to pull Jack closer to him, whispering, "I love you, Jack, with all my heart. I've been in love with you since the first time we met. All I've ever wanted to do is make you happy; I just wanted to make you hap…"
"Shhhhh… it's alright now. You don't have to say another word." Jack leaned over and gave Eric another passionate, long-lasting kiss that shook Eric to his very soul, leaving him trembling.
"Eric!"
"ERIC!" Jack yelled.
Eric stirred and rolled off of the bed and fell on the floor, startled.
"Eric, you have class in twenty minutes, man! Get up!" Jack was already dressed and about to head out the door before he himself was late.
Eric jumped up and grabbed some clothes before jumping into the shower. "What a DREAM I was having!" he yelled from the bathroom.
"What? What dream?" Jack yelled back as he was stuffing the last of his books into his backpack.
"I'll tell you everything later, don't let me forget, k?"
Distracted and a little rushed, Jack replied, "Yeah, sure. Later."
Eric finished dressing, sporting the largest grin he ever had the pleasure of wearing.