Chapter 8
"Wow, Rachel that was intense! You really flipped out back there!" Jack stared at Rachel across a plate of pasta. Rachel winked at Jack, "Oh stop it, friends stick up for each other." Jack smiled at that.
"You know, Jack sitting on the other side of the table with you and I sitting on this side is a little strange. Almost eerie," Eric pointed out. Rachel thought for a second. "That's true… Eric, you and I sit across from an eligible, bright, gorgeous specimen of a man that neither one of us can have but both of us want!" Rachel casually put her arm around Eric.
"I have an idea! Let's talk about the most awkward topic we can think of… oh wait! You already did!" Jack rolled his eyes as he twirled another forkful of fettuccine alfredo and stuffed it into his mouth.
"Alright, alright. Let's give the man a break." Rachel picked up her fork and began to eat again. Eric looked at Jack, "I have to ask you, cuz it's driving me crazy… how are you dealing with all of this? I mean, this is tough for me, and it's my problem, I know…"
"Hold on. This isn't just your problem, Eric. You know we'll be here for ya." Jack playfully kicked him under the table.
"Yeah, but you guys are going to move on and have normal lives… Rachel, you'll get married and have a ton of kids and Jack will get married some day. I'm gonna be alone the rest of my life." Eric looked back down at his plate ruefully.
Concerned, Rachel looked over at Jack, not knowing what to say. Jack returned the same look.
"Honey, we can always keep in touch and spend time together. We'll never be too busy to see each other. As a matter of fact, let's make a pact now that the three of us will always be friends and let's set a regular meeting time and even a place if we want that we will always get together." Rachel's sincerity gave Eric a moment of comfort. Jack chimed in, "Yeah, let's plan at least once a week that we can all hookup. No danger of growing apart then." Jack ate another bite of pasta.
"How about Thursday nights?" Eric offered.
"Works for me, how about you, Jack?" Rachel waited and Jack nodded in agreement. The waitress walked over and set the check on the table, making sure that they didn't want anything else.
"Jack, I've been wondering that too." Rachel gave Jack a stymied look.
"Wondering what?" asked Jack.
"Well, Eric asked how you were holding up, and you've been pretty good-natured about this whole situation. Come to think of it, so have I."
"I dunno," Jack wiped his mouth with his napkin and laid it across his empty plate. "I think it's because we all were such good friends to begin with, you know, before 'everything', so it would seem more uncomfortable to me to ignore the situations than to deal with them directly."
"That is a very mature attitude, Jack. I'm proud of you." Rachel lightly kicked Jack under the table.
"I am too," added Eric. He kicked Jack under the table too.
"Alright, spare my shins then!" Jack joked, granting them another monumental grin.
Rachel leaned over and whispered in Eric's ear, "I just LOVE that smile." Eric winked at her giving her a smile of his own. Suddenly, Rachel turned to Eric, "Hey, let's go to the mall! You can help me pick out some cute outfits!" She clapped her hands together in anticipation. Eric gave her a contemptuous look, "No way! I may be gay, but I'm still a GUY!" Rachel jokingly shoved Eric as he and Jack laughed.
"Oh, you think that's funny, Jack?" Rachel teased.
"As a matter of fact I do," Jack nodded to Eric and they smiled at each other.
Rachel stood up, "Looks like Jack is buying lunch too then. C'mon Eric. We'll be waiting in the car." Still laughing, Rachel dragged Eric from the booth and out to the car to wait.
"Angela, did you hear me? Eric is gay and his family is forsakin' him!" Shawn's face was turning red now, the heat and anger boiling up into his face.
"I know it may seem like they are, but they're just trying to help him. It's not like they told Eric that he was going to hell or anything." Angela stated practically. She sat back, arms crossed.
"They might as well have, Eric has been a wreck the last few days and it's because of Corey, Topanga and Eric's Parents. The only ones that seem to give a DAMN about him are Rachel, Jack and I." Shawn tried desperately to grasp why Angela would side with Corey.
"Maybe you're supporting him too much. Think about it, Shawn. You three are blowing this way out of proportion."
"How do you figure? Who KNOWS what Eric might do, or do to himself out of desperation if SOME of us didn't back him. Besides, it's the principle too. Homosexuals aren't evil people condemned to hell." Shawn began to pace the floor.
"How about letting God decide that."
"You're kidding, right? You can't REALLY be that narrow minded…"
"Look, if this 'discussion' is going to turn into a personal attack, then I'm leaving."
"All I'm saying is, you don't give up on a friend just because you find out that there is more to him than you knew when you met him. Nothing has changed about Eric except that we know more about him than we did before."
"True, but you can be a friend without supporting something you know is wrong. It's kind of like…say, Corey had a drug habit and he told you about it. You wouldn't go 'score' him a hit or two because you thought it was wrong to 'dis' a friend."
"BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S WRONG! Don't you see? Just because I don't feel the way Eric does, doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve the right to live a healthy normal life! And THAT, I might ad, is the most RIDICULOUS analogy I've ever heard. You can't compare a drug habit to sexual orientation."
"He can't live a 'normal' life if he's gay, Shawn! That means no children of his own…"
"…he could adopt…"
"…he can't get married…"
"…he can in Vermont…"
"…he can't meet, good, decent people…"
"…you don't know everybody…"
"Shawn, stop. It's not natural…"
"…there's evidence of homosexuality in lots of different species…"
"You're obviously not going to be sensible about this. There's no point in talking about it."
"Fine!"
"Fine." Angela stood up, put on her coat and left. Shawn sat down in disbelief. "We aren't winning here, Eric, but I'm trying." He got up and decided to head over to Eric and Jack's apartment.
"By the way, thanks for lunch…" Eric said as he followed Jack into the apartment. Jack tossed his keys on top of the TV and sat on the couch. "Anytime, man. What are friends for?" Jack flipped the television on as Eric sat down next to him. Eric sat back, just out of Jack's peripheral vision, and admired him.
He liked watching Jack. He liked to imagine what it would be like to lay in his lap and watch TV, or to run his finger through Jack's dark brown hair. Eric dreamt of touching his face, he had such a sexy, square jaw line. And those lips. Eric suddenly realized that he wasn't in a position to be standing up anytime soon and tried to focus on purer thoughts.
"So, you have plans tonight?" Eric asked passively.
"Naw, man, you?" Jack brought his full attention to Eric.
"Nope, nothing." Eric felt paralyzed by Jack's beautiful, intense brown eyes.
"Any ideas?" Jack blinked, waiting for a response. Eric felt his heart racing, unable to break his gaze.
"Maybe… a mo-movie?" Eric felt out of breath and warm all over.
"Yeah, what's out that we haven't seen yet?" Unable to control himself any longer, Eric leaned forward and kissed Jack, pushing him back against the cushions. While Jack was still stunned, Eric's hands found their way up Jack's hips, pushing his shirt up as they floated over his stomach and chest. Eric let out a low moan as he tried to force his tongue in Jack's mouth. Jack tasted so good to him. Eric could barely believe that he had completely disregarded his inhibitions so boldly. Before Jack could even register what was happening, he found his shirt hiked up around his armpits while Eric ran his tongue down his neck, kissing his chest. Eric reveled in the salty-sweet taste of Jack's light tan skin. He found Jack's nipple and began licking and biting it for a moment before moving his way down his abs, Jack finally recovered from his shock.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Jack jumped up and shoved Eric off of him. He hastily pulled his shirt back down.
"I…I'm sorry… I…"
"You FAG!" Jack grabbed his keys and stormed out of the apartment. Shawn stopped as Jack passed him in the hallway.
"Hey, Jack, you got a min…"
"NOT NOW!" Jack yelled as he roughly brushed past his half-brother.
Shawn shrugged his shoulders and walked through the open door to the apartment to find a still-shocked Eric sitting on the couch.
"What's wrong with HIM?" Shawn sat down on the couch next to Eric.
"I can't believe I did that… I'm so stupid… so selfish. He even defended me, even after he knew…" he turned. Shawn could see the tears in his eyes, "… dunno, maybe I just couldn't handle it, or I-I-I just couldn't go back to being 'just' friends or…"
"Eric, what happened?"
"…he hates me… I know it, he HATES me!… I HATE ME!" Eric stood up and ran into the bedroom, throwing himself on his bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Shawn hesitated for a moment and went into the bedroom after him.
"Eric…Eric, tell me what happened." Shawn sat down next to Eric and put his hand on his shoulder. Eric looked up with red, puffy eyes.
"I… I kissed him." Eric wiped his runny nose on his sleeve.
"Wow, that's, uh… wow."
"Yeah, and that wasn't all…I kinda felt him up a little…"
"You WHAT? You kinda!?"
"No, not like THAT… I mean, like I kinda got under his shirt and kissed his chest and…"
"STOP…I don't want to hear any more. I get the picture, unfortunately." Shawn contemplated the situation.
"Boy, you're lucky he didn't knock you out…"
"Yeah, he already hit my brother this morning." Eric sat up.
"I heard. Angela and I had a little 'discussion' about the whole thing."
"That doesn't sound good." Eric dried his eyes.
"It wasn't. Eric you have to realize, we are surrounded by more close-minded people than you think. Don't worry, you've got Rachel, Jack and I watchin' your back." Shawn patted Eric's shoulder.
"Yeah, I think we can count Jack out now…" Eric buried his face back into his pillow and began to cry again.
"Don't worry about Jack, he's probably out trying to get a handle on things. Tell you what, I'll go find him and try to calm him down, you stay here." Shawn stood up and walked to the door. "Be back soon so stay here, k?" Eric nodded slowly in agreement.
After Shawn left, he sat up and stared at the numbers on his bedside clock. The lotion bottle sitting next to his clock caught his attention and he stared at it. [How did that get there? I thought I put it…] He couldn't remember putting it back in the bathroom. [Why would Jack put it on MY night table?] He looked around his bedroom, the silence and isolation smothering him. He could feel panic welling up from somewhere deep inside his chest. Eric jumped up, put a sweatshirt on and left the apartment.
"Wow, Rachel that was intense! You really flipped out back there!" Jack stared at Rachel across a plate of pasta. Rachel winked at Jack, "Oh stop it, friends stick up for each other." Jack smiled at that.
"You know, Jack sitting on the other side of the table with you and I sitting on this side is a little strange. Almost eerie," Eric pointed out. Rachel thought for a second. "That's true… Eric, you and I sit across from an eligible, bright, gorgeous specimen of a man that neither one of us can have but both of us want!" Rachel casually put her arm around Eric.
"I have an idea! Let's talk about the most awkward topic we can think of… oh wait! You already did!" Jack rolled his eyes as he twirled another forkful of fettuccine alfredo and stuffed it into his mouth.
"Alright, alright. Let's give the man a break." Rachel picked up her fork and began to eat again. Eric looked at Jack, "I have to ask you, cuz it's driving me crazy… how are you dealing with all of this? I mean, this is tough for me, and it's my problem, I know…"
"Hold on. This isn't just your problem, Eric. You know we'll be here for ya." Jack playfully kicked him under the table.
"Yeah, but you guys are going to move on and have normal lives… Rachel, you'll get married and have a ton of kids and Jack will get married some day. I'm gonna be alone the rest of my life." Eric looked back down at his plate ruefully.
Concerned, Rachel looked over at Jack, not knowing what to say. Jack returned the same look.
"Honey, we can always keep in touch and spend time together. We'll never be too busy to see each other. As a matter of fact, let's make a pact now that the three of us will always be friends and let's set a regular meeting time and even a place if we want that we will always get together." Rachel's sincerity gave Eric a moment of comfort. Jack chimed in, "Yeah, let's plan at least once a week that we can all hookup. No danger of growing apart then." Jack ate another bite of pasta.
"How about Thursday nights?" Eric offered.
"Works for me, how about you, Jack?" Rachel waited and Jack nodded in agreement. The waitress walked over and set the check on the table, making sure that they didn't want anything else.
"Jack, I've been wondering that too." Rachel gave Jack a stymied look.
"Wondering what?" asked Jack.
"Well, Eric asked how you were holding up, and you've been pretty good-natured about this whole situation. Come to think of it, so have I."
"I dunno," Jack wiped his mouth with his napkin and laid it across his empty plate. "I think it's because we all were such good friends to begin with, you know, before 'everything', so it would seem more uncomfortable to me to ignore the situations than to deal with them directly."
"That is a very mature attitude, Jack. I'm proud of you." Rachel lightly kicked Jack under the table.
"I am too," added Eric. He kicked Jack under the table too.
"Alright, spare my shins then!" Jack joked, granting them another monumental grin.
Rachel leaned over and whispered in Eric's ear, "I just LOVE that smile." Eric winked at her giving her a smile of his own. Suddenly, Rachel turned to Eric, "Hey, let's go to the mall! You can help me pick out some cute outfits!" She clapped her hands together in anticipation. Eric gave her a contemptuous look, "No way! I may be gay, but I'm still a GUY!" Rachel jokingly shoved Eric as he and Jack laughed.
"Oh, you think that's funny, Jack?" Rachel teased.
"As a matter of fact I do," Jack nodded to Eric and they smiled at each other.
Rachel stood up, "Looks like Jack is buying lunch too then. C'mon Eric. We'll be waiting in the car." Still laughing, Rachel dragged Eric from the booth and out to the car to wait.
"Angela, did you hear me? Eric is gay and his family is forsakin' him!" Shawn's face was turning red now, the heat and anger boiling up into his face.
"I know it may seem like they are, but they're just trying to help him. It's not like they told Eric that he was going to hell or anything." Angela stated practically. She sat back, arms crossed.
"They might as well have, Eric has been a wreck the last few days and it's because of Corey, Topanga and Eric's Parents. The only ones that seem to give a DAMN about him are Rachel, Jack and I." Shawn tried desperately to grasp why Angela would side with Corey.
"Maybe you're supporting him too much. Think about it, Shawn. You three are blowing this way out of proportion."
"How do you figure? Who KNOWS what Eric might do, or do to himself out of desperation if SOME of us didn't back him. Besides, it's the principle too. Homosexuals aren't evil people condemned to hell." Shawn began to pace the floor.
"How about letting God decide that."
"You're kidding, right? You can't REALLY be that narrow minded…"
"Look, if this 'discussion' is going to turn into a personal attack, then I'm leaving."
"All I'm saying is, you don't give up on a friend just because you find out that there is more to him than you knew when you met him. Nothing has changed about Eric except that we know more about him than we did before."
"True, but you can be a friend without supporting something you know is wrong. It's kind of like…say, Corey had a drug habit and he told you about it. You wouldn't go 'score' him a hit or two because you thought it was wrong to 'dis' a friend."
"BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S WRONG! Don't you see? Just because I don't feel the way Eric does, doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve the right to live a healthy normal life! And THAT, I might ad, is the most RIDICULOUS analogy I've ever heard. You can't compare a drug habit to sexual orientation."
"He can't live a 'normal' life if he's gay, Shawn! That means no children of his own…"
"…he could adopt…"
"…he can't get married…"
"…he can in Vermont…"
"…he can't meet, good, decent people…"
"…you don't know everybody…"
"Shawn, stop. It's not natural…"
"…there's evidence of homosexuality in lots of different species…"
"You're obviously not going to be sensible about this. There's no point in talking about it."
"Fine!"
"Fine." Angela stood up, put on her coat and left. Shawn sat down in disbelief. "We aren't winning here, Eric, but I'm trying." He got up and decided to head over to Eric and Jack's apartment.
"By the way, thanks for lunch…" Eric said as he followed Jack into the apartment. Jack tossed his keys on top of the TV and sat on the couch. "Anytime, man. What are friends for?" Jack flipped the television on as Eric sat down next to him. Eric sat back, just out of Jack's peripheral vision, and admired him.
He liked watching Jack. He liked to imagine what it would be like to lay in his lap and watch TV, or to run his finger through Jack's dark brown hair. Eric dreamt of touching his face, he had such a sexy, square jaw line. And those lips. Eric suddenly realized that he wasn't in a position to be standing up anytime soon and tried to focus on purer thoughts.
"So, you have plans tonight?" Eric asked passively.
"Naw, man, you?" Jack brought his full attention to Eric.
"Nope, nothing." Eric felt paralyzed by Jack's beautiful, intense brown eyes.
"Any ideas?" Jack blinked, waiting for a response. Eric felt his heart racing, unable to break his gaze.
"Maybe… a mo-movie?" Eric felt out of breath and warm all over.
"Yeah, what's out that we haven't seen yet?" Unable to control himself any longer, Eric leaned forward and kissed Jack, pushing him back against the cushions. While Jack was still stunned, Eric's hands found their way up Jack's hips, pushing his shirt up as they floated over his stomach and chest. Eric let out a low moan as he tried to force his tongue in Jack's mouth. Jack tasted so good to him. Eric could barely believe that he had completely disregarded his inhibitions so boldly. Before Jack could even register what was happening, he found his shirt hiked up around his armpits while Eric ran his tongue down his neck, kissing his chest. Eric reveled in the salty-sweet taste of Jack's light tan skin. He found Jack's nipple and began licking and biting it for a moment before moving his way down his abs, Jack finally recovered from his shock.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Jack jumped up and shoved Eric off of him. He hastily pulled his shirt back down.
"I…I'm sorry… I…"
"You FAG!" Jack grabbed his keys and stormed out of the apartment. Shawn stopped as Jack passed him in the hallway.
"Hey, Jack, you got a min…"
"NOT NOW!" Jack yelled as he roughly brushed past his half-brother.
Shawn shrugged his shoulders and walked through the open door to the apartment to find a still-shocked Eric sitting on the couch.
"What's wrong with HIM?" Shawn sat down on the couch next to Eric.
"I can't believe I did that… I'm so stupid… so selfish. He even defended me, even after he knew…" he turned. Shawn could see the tears in his eyes, "… dunno, maybe I just couldn't handle it, or I-I-I just couldn't go back to being 'just' friends or…"
"Eric, what happened?"
"…he hates me… I know it, he HATES me!… I HATE ME!" Eric stood up and ran into the bedroom, throwing himself on his bed, sobbing uncontrollably. Shawn hesitated for a moment and went into the bedroom after him.
"Eric…Eric, tell me what happened." Shawn sat down next to Eric and put his hand on his shoulder. Eric looked up with red, puffy eyes.
"I… I kissed him." Eric wiped his runny nose on his sleeve.
"Wow, that's, uh… wow."
"Yeah, and that wasn't all…I kinda felt him up a little…"
"You WHAT? You kinda!?"
"No, not like THAT… I mean, like I kinda got under his shirt and kissed his chest and…"
"STOP…I don't want to hear any more. I get the picture, unfortunately." Shawn contemplated the situation.
"Boy, you're lucky he didn't knock you out…"
"Yeah, he already hit my brother this morning." Eric sat up.
"I heard. Angela and I had a little 'discussion' about the whole thing."
"That doesn't sound good." Eric dried his eyes.
"It wasn't. Eric you have to realize, we are surrounded by more close-minded people than you think. Don't worry, you've got Rachel, Jack and I watchin' your back." Shawn patted Eric's shoulder.
"Yeah, I think we can count Jack out now…" Eric buried his face back into his pillow and began to cry again.
"Don't worry about Jack, he's probably out trying to get a handle on things. Tell you what, I'll go find him and try to calm him down, you stay here." Shawn stood up and walked to the door. "Be back soon so stay here, k?" Eric nodded slowly in agreement.
After Shawn left, he sat up and stared at the numbers on his bedside clock. The lotion bottle sitting next to his clock caught his attention and he stared at it. [How did that get there? I thought I put it…] He couldn't remember putting it back in the bathroom. [Why would Jack put it on MY night table?] He looked around his bedroom, the silence and isolation smothering him. He could feel panic welling up from somewhere deep inside his chest. Eric jumped up, put a sweatshirt on and left the apartment.